Battle of the Champs

In what might have been the most exciting divisional finals in CTDB history, the two winning teams won by 3.05 points total. Yes, it was that close. The Fat Jubas using a strong performance from Cam Newton and Reggie Bush to barely fend off Battle Angel's 49.0 point Drew Brees explosion. And on the other side, the Dirty Birds lost by 0.8 points as Buffy overtook them on MNF with David Akers and Steelers defense.

So now both number one seeds are ready to face off with a lot at stake. Roger has two championships under his belt and is desperate for a third. Eric could claim a spot on Mount CTDB by winning a second Super Bowl. Let's take a look at the matchups.

QB: It's Cam Newton versus Matt Ryan. On the surface it looks like Killer Cam has got this one all the way, as he hasn't scored less than twenty points in five weeks. However, Matt Ryan has been absolute fire recently and should be able to match the audacious rookie point for point. Both quarterbacks face off against terrible defenses so we're looking for big numbers here. EDGE: Even

RB: Earlier in the year we would have said Roger had a huge edge here as he boasted Arian Foster, Matt Forte, and even Steven Jackson. Post-Forte, Buffy has chosen to run-and-gun, even though Jackson had a big week on the bench during WK14. On the other side, Reggie Bush and Frank Gore are big names but more likely to top out at about thirty points total, assuming everything goes well. Bush has been resurgent the back half of the season but Gore hasn't been that great. If Arian Foster has a monster game and either of them stumble a bit, Roger could get the same production out of one RB as Eric gets out of two. Here's what's crazy, Chris Johnson and Darren McFadden will be sitting the bench for the Jubas. Who would have thought that from the beginning of the year?! EDGE: Buffy

WR: This entire matchup will hinge on which receivers play well for their respective teams. Buffy has Wes Welker, Victor Cruz, AJ Green, and Antonio Gates lined up. Usually two of them have great games, but if they suffer another combined weak outting like last week, that opens the door for the Fat Jubas. The Jubas have some boom and bust options themselves, with Vincent Jackson, Jimmy Graham, and Santana Moss starting. It's hard to call who has the edge here, but we believe Wes Welker can't have another bad game with Brady slinging him the ball. EDGE: Buffy

K/DEF: Normally this reporter could care less what a K and Def are like for playoff matchups, but seeing as this reporter lost to exactly that combination last week, we'll take a look at who is playing defense for each of our championship contenders. Buffy has Steelers defense facing off against the Rams. After putting up only 4 points last week, we think they'll bounce back to their low double figures form. As for the Eric's Niners defense, they destroyed Pittsburgh last week and will now face off against the Seattle offense. We can't see anything lower than 15 points here. EDGE: Fat Jubas

We think this is Buffy's Super Bowl to lose, but if these playoffs have shown us anything, it'll be a nail biter!

Toilet Bowl II

Some guys just hate to lose! Even when down and out, after a season that saw them knocked out of the post-season for the first time ever, Evan and his Chunky Monkeys rallied hard to end the season on a high note. They demolished the Tiiite End Jammers on their way to a Toilet Bowl victory by throwing up their highest week of the season. Sure it's not a championship but at least it's something right?

Quarterback Matthew Stafford connected with Calvin Johnson to put up 79.95 points together, and that was more than enough to send Lei's team packing. Heck, Evan even had a ton of guys on his bench -- including an unused 33.2 points from CJ Spiller. The Tiiite End Jammers tried to make a comeback behind Tony Romo's 34.45 points but they just couldn't keep up on the scoreboard despite scoring 101.15 points.

For both teams, the future will be that much brighter with some top picks. Lei's team will need an infusion of new talent, as they're a little light on quality depth. However, with Romo, Maurice Jones-Drew, and Percy Harvin, they are at least better than a year ago. As for Evan, we predict a quick return to contention as they have Ryan Mathews, DeMarco Murray, Felix Jones, CJ Spiller, Antonio Brown, Brandon Marshall, and Julio Jones to select from. Not only that, Jamaal Charles returns next year and a top pick will likely bolster the roster even more. The only real question for them this off-season is which QB to keep: Philip Rivers or Matt Stafford?

Thanks for an entertaining Toilet Bowl II boys, and better luck next year!

Playoffs: Division Finals

Buffy (9-4) vs Dirty Birds (8-5)
After eaking out another miracle win, the Dirty Birds are about to change their name to "The Tebows." Or perhaps "The Gronks" would be more appropriate, as Rob Gronkowski set an NFL record for tight end touchdowns and scored 31 points to lead the upset of high powered Ante Up -- who almost came back on a huge MNF run by the Seahawks defense. Now the newly dubbed Gronky Tebows face off against Buffy, another two time champion. There's a lot on the line here, as historically, both franchises win it all when they reach the Super Bowl round.

Roger's team boasts Wes Welker and that could be a huge factor, as he and Gronkowski tend to trade off big games for New England. It could be Welker's turn this weekend. QB Matt Ryan had a career game during the bye, and he's going to continue his steady leadership. The big question for Buffy is if they'll leave Arian Foster as the lone back or think about substituting Steven Jackson. As of now, Welker is joined by Victor Cruz, A.J. Green, and a very healthy Antonio Gates. Of the four, Cruz seems to be sliding a bit but he's fantastic overall. There's a lot of depth on this team, it's just a question of which players will get the starting nod.

For Jon, he'll have his Big Four wide receivers too, in some combination of Gronkowski, Roddy White, Larry Fitzgerald and either Dwayne Bowe or Miles Austin. The question is if Adrian Peterson will return to balance out the running game. Rookie Roy Helu has been good the past few weeks but he's unlikely to replace All Day. As we noted in a previous post, it's going to take at least a 100+ game to beat Buffy, as they haven't dipped below that plateau in two months. Does Tebow have one more magic upset left in him? We're about to find out!

Fat Jubas (7-6) vs Battle Angel (6-7)
All it took for Battle Angel to dispatch the Fobsters was Drew Brees and some defense. Brees scored 29.45 points and Packers defense added another 20.0 for Vu. Nobody else scored in double digits for them though. However, Jimmy's team didn't fare much better, with Tom Brady exploding for 34.65 points but then his Cowboys defense adding a whopping negative ten points to the till. This has to be the first case of a defense costing a team a playoff win. I mean, without that -10, and having any standard defense in for the Cowboys to accrue one point, the Fobsters would be facing off against division champ Fat Jubas instead.

It looks like Eric's team could be in for an easy weekend if they can just clear the century mark. Heck, scoring 90+ could be enough as Vu's team is dinged up all around. Andre Johnson is iffy, Greg Jennings is out, and there's a murderer's row lineup of Cedric Benson, Mike Tolbert, Malcolm Floyd, and....need I go on? Vu's team is in big trouble this week, and it might not matter what Drew Brees is capable of.

The Fat Jubas are just too strong right now in comparison. They have their own ultra-fantasy quarterback in Cam Newton. They have Frank Gore and Chris Johnson in the backfield. Vincent Jackson will clearly be better than his teammate Floyd. And there's Jimmy Graham around to take a little juice off of Brees' points. To be honest, we don't see how Eric loses this one, short of a total meltdown, as they've been consistently near the century mark all season long. It would be nice to say both of these former champs have an equal chance of winning their second Super Bowl, but the numbers are showing us a beat down by Fat Jubas.

Toilet Bowl II Preview

#1 Chunky Monkeys (7-6) vs #3 Tiiite End Jammers (5-8)
Lei has been pissed off about not having more success the last, well, half decade or so. His Tiiite End Jammers haven't been in a championship game since before Justin Bieber was born. And now they're in the final game of a Toilet Bowl! The Jammers were so fired up that they pounded out an astonishing 156.95 points last weekend to fend off Gang Green's high scoring effort. Behind forty plus points each from Tony Romo and Maurice Jones-Drew, Lei has assured himself of at least a high draft pick next season. Season ticket sales are already up 5%!

The Chunky Monkeys were much less effusive in their victory last weekend, grimly dispatching Ping's Phreaks by a perfunctory score of 105.95 - 98.6. The score was closer than the game was, as MNF gave Marshawn Lynch a shot at the upset, but he couldn't quite deliver. So now the Monkeys are in a championship, of sorts. Their front office released no season ticket holder news but we saw a lot of angry fans protesting outside, demanding their seat licenses back. It must irk owner Evan to no end that his Monkeys are 5-1 over the past few weeks, yet he's only playing for a consolidation prize.

The Jammers have a little streak of their own, three wins in a row, and they are coming off their best back-to-back scores all season. While Romo and Jones-Drew can hardly be expected to duplicate their efforts, there's the potential here for a nice win if Percy Harvin and Marques Colston (combined 47.9 points WK14) can keep up their great pass catching ways.

On the other side, the Monkeys need to just keep doing what they've been doing all season long, bringing a flurry of boom and bust players off the bench and into the lineup. There could be some tough decisions to be made this weekend, as Philip Rivers and Julio Jones are making the case that maybe they should be starting. We know Ryan Mathews, DeMarco Murray, and Antonio Brown are locks, but the mighty Megatron has been very mortal over the past month. We see a pretty even split for the two teams, but we think it would be nice if the Jammers could win something of value this season.

Playoffs Week 1

Battle Angel (6-7) vs Fobsters (6-7)
These two teams split their regular season matchup and only Battle Angel's superior PF gave them the home field advantage. Both teams lost coming into the playoffs -- and scored less than 90 points each -- so neither really has a momentum advantage. During the last four weeks, the Fobsters have only scored over the century mark one time. Battle Angle has done it twice, and was definitely more consistent the other weeks in-between. Still, this will be a close battle.

Vu's team will be led by Drew Brees and his throwing arm. The bad news is that the receiving corps is a little thin right now. Greg Jennings has been good all season, but Andre Johnson got hurt again and Vernon Davis and Malcolm Floyd are barely capable starters. Also, getting a break out season from RB Fred Jackson was great, but now Jackson is done for the year and an ailing Cedric Benson or recent free agent pickup Mike Tolbert will have to step in. That's not good.

As for the Fobsters, they are similarly constructed with a great QB and a wide open passing game. Tom Brady will lead Steve Smith, Jason Witten, Jordy Nelson, and Dez Bryant into their matchup. That should be enough to give them the edge. The problem is, their prize off-season acquisition, Michael Turner, has been slowed by injury recently and probably won't give them much of a ground game either. Look for this game to come down to which quarterback can submit the bigger game and which receiver will explode to help his team to a win!

Ante Up (8-5) vs Dirty Birds (8-5)
Both times they met this season, Ante Up wiped the floor with Dirty Birds, scoring over 120+ each game and beating the flailing birds by an average of 63.225 points. Ouch. However, those games were all played early in the season, before the Tebow Experience. Since switching to Tebow in WK11, the Birds haven't lost, eaking out wins against opponents that scored 68.1, 72, and 87.85 points. Most of those wins came without Adrian Peterson playing either.

After starting off 1-5, the DBs ended the season on a 6-1 streak, which can be attributed to their run-and-shoot attack that featured Larry Fitzgerald, Roddy White, Dwayne Bowe, and most importantly, Rob Gronkowski. The amazing tight end was the sixth best RB/WR/TE in fantasy this year, and has gone over twenty points in four of his last five games.

All of this is impressive but the magic train could stop here as Jon faces off against Jae, owner of the highest scoring team this year -- by a wide margin. Ante Up hasn't scored less than 100 points since WK7, and in fact, only had two games less than that mark this season. They have routinely shot past the 140+ point mark MVP candidate Aaron Rodgers and an astounding ground game led by LeSean McCoy and Ray Rice. Rodgers is the best QB in the land and McCoy and Rice are the top two backs.

The reason Ante Up didn't win a few more games probably had to do with their underpowered receiving crew, which is headlined by Santonio Holmes and a fading Reggie Wayne. It took a late season surge by Laurent Robinson to give Ante Up some consistent play from the position. Odds are good that Ante Up will mow down the Dirty Birds for a win (especially if Peterson remains on the sidelines), but you never know when Tebow magic is in the house!

Toilet Bowl Seedings

#1 Chunky Monkeys (7-6)
The defending champions were flying high from WK8-12, winning four games out of five, vaulting over the century mark each time, and setting themselves up for a playoff spot. Then disaster struck in WK13 as they got creamed by Fat Jubas, losing by 53 points. And so the streak ends; ten straight years in the playoffs is over. Most seasons, a winning record would have preserved Evan's precious record, but they were ultimately undone by the lose of Jamaal Charles early, the inconsistency of Philip Rivers all around, and emphatic answer to "Is Ryan Mathews the next LDT?"

The good news is, Evan's trade for Calvin Johnson was a fantastic move, he used Matthew Stafford to step in for Rivers, and he unearthed DeMarco Murray, Julio Jones, and Antonio Brown. If they can secure a top pick here, the Monkeys will easily be right back in contention. So enjoy their downfall CTDB, it may not last for long! "Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead!"

#2 Gang Green (5-8)
Another two time champ disgraced. The Greenies lost their last four games to go from penthouse to cellar in record time. They even faced the softest schedule in the division. The wheels came off for Greg this year, as his normally golden touch on the waiver wire was nowhere to be found. In fact, there wasn't one guy he picked up that contributed much of anything. And with the three headed "monster" of Peyton Hillis, Shonn Greene, and Ahmad Bradshaw not giving him much of anything, Greg's season went down the tubes. Eli Manning was also forced into action after Matt Schaub left the building.

The upside is that there are some serviceable receivers here, with Hakeem Nicks, Stevie Johnson, and Brandon Lloyd getting steady double digit points. However, without much of a run game, and no magic elixir from the free agent pool, Greg slid to another losing season, just like last year.

#3 Tiiite End Jammers (5-8)
Lei's team hasn't won in the playoffs since their championship in 2003, and they haven't made the post-season since 2008. This year, they were eliminated from contention early, even as the rest of the league fell into extreme parity. Their five total wins is a bit of a mirage, as they won two games at the end to even up the pace a little. And the Jammers can't blame scheduling either, as they faced the easiest schedule in the league.

What's weird is that there are some good pieces here. The trade for Maurice Jones-Drew turned out wonderfully, and Percy Harvin could be a star. Sure Rashard Mendenhall has had a tough season, but at least Tony Romo has been slinging it. Looking over the roster, there does seem to be a big drop off in talent after the top two or three players. Marques Colston is a borderline starter, Sidney Rice has nothing going on, and while WR Eric Decker and RB Willis McGahee have helped the real life Broncos, they've done next to nothing for the Jammers. As our first two time participant in the Toilet Bowl, the Lei will look to do better than their one point loss in last year's first round. Analysts suggest perhaps a name change, to wash the stink off the franchise's recent exploits.

#4 Philadelphia Phreaks (4-9)
Speaking of name changes, Ping's team could use a re-branding too. After finally making the playoffs last season, after who knows how long, the Phreaks regressed right back to their losing ways. They dropped their last five games, didn't break the century mark after WK5, and often struggled to put up even 80+ points as the lowest scoring team in the league.

As usual, GM Ping went all in with the Eagles and this time it was to disastrous results. Michael Vick was still fantasy good -- until he went down in WK10 -- but Jeremy Maclin and DeSean Jackson both suffered through injuries, suspensions, and just terrible play. Jahvid Best also caught the injury bug and last year's sensation, RB LeGarrette Blount had only four games over double digits. The good news is Marshawn Lynch has put up amazing numbers the past five weeks (20.8, 25.2, 15.9, 19.6, 26.8); the bad news is he's only gotten off the Phreaks bench for the last two. A few victories in the Toilet Bowl would be nice here, as this franchise hasn't gotten a post-regular season win since 2006.

Celebrating the Division Winners

This year, our division winners didn't really emerge until the last weekend. In fact, this entire season was full of ups and downs as eight out of ten teams were in contention heading into the last two weeks. I mean, take a look at the standings prior to our last week of the regular season. At the of the day, it was Buffy who conquered Inscrutable Drama Kings and Fat Jubas who stands alone as the leader of the Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses.

Buffy (9-4)
Starting off 0-3, Roger's team was headed toward a horrible season. Aside from Wes Welker, there was nobody else ready to play after the lockout. Then, Buffy turned it all around and won seven straight, surpassing the century mark each time, and only lost one more game the rest of the way. Yes, a gaudy 9-1 mark to close the regular season out and secure a division championship!

Wes Welker was the unquestioned MVP of this team. He was the best receiver in the game this year, and he slowed down but never faltered. Also, free agent Victor Cruz was somehow the fourth best WR this season, and Roger got a few good games out of that pickup. Then there's A.J. Green, who would be fantasy rookie of the year if not for Cam Newton. Green is going to end up at number ten on the overall WR list. Plus there's Pierre Garcon, intriguing deep threat Torrey Smith, and the still injury ridden Antonio Gates around (still a top TE when healthy). A greying receiving crew with Hines Ward and Ochocinco have been completely replaced by promising talent all around.

Despite starting the year off slow with an injury, RB Arian Foster steamed up the charts after WK3, coinciding with Buffy's winning streak. Foster will end up being the third best RB this season, one slot ahead of Matt Forte, who exploded early but tailed off a little by mid-season. Forte could be gone for most of the playoffs, which could hurt Buffy's running game. Old stalwart Steven Jackson will likely be relegated to the scrap heap after this season, but perhaps he has one shining post-season run left in him.

As for that tricky QB spot, Buffy made do with Matt Ryan most of the year, occasionally turning to Matt Cassell and Jay Cutler when needed. Ryan has actually been a top eight option this year, which bodes well for Roger's title hopes. Andy Dalton is on-board to provide some injury relief. Also, Buffy split time between the Ravens and Steelers Defense, with both ranked in the top five all year long. With two championships under their belt (2001 and 2004), Buffy is in prime position to be the first to get their third trophy.

Fat Jubas (7-6)
Facing the toughest schedule in their division, Eric's team needed to also score the most points to secure a hard fought division title. That's two in a row for the Jubas. Last year's division title was a nice rebound from a poor year in 2009, but after being upset by the Fobsters in the divisional finals, this team wanted another chance to chase the championship.

Eric's team didn't really have a dominant run this season, as they started 2-2, never won more than two games in a row, and more or less alternated wins and losses to become the only team over .500 in their division. Their two best players this season were QB Cam Newton and Jimmy Graham, waiver wire pickups who didn't even arrive on the team until WK2 and WK3 respectively. Graham was the second best TE and would be the fourth best WR/TE in combined charts, so it's obvious he is tremendous.

Killer Cam was the fourth best QB this year, and he saved his best game for the division winning kill by dropping 42.8 points in WK13. There's a good chance that Cam will be the face of this franchise, and not Peyton Manning, who could be unceremoniously dumped after this season. Actually, there's 100% chance Cam is the new face of the franchise and Manning is headed to the re-draft. Did you think anyone would say that six months ago?!

You could say that the entire rest of the Jubas's roster was a disappointment this season. Yes, Vincent Jackson was a top eight receiver, but there were an awful lot of low single digit games on his resume this year. Anquan Boldin had a nice mid-season stretch but barely averaged ten points per game. He played a lot as the third WR for Jubas, but probably because there wasn't much better behind him. Tony Gonzalez was about the same as Boldin, Dallas Clark was a disaster sans Peyton, and Burress caught TDs but was hardly used.

And how about those running backs? Chris Johnson was so bad that there was talk of cutting him. He's picked up his game just in time for the playoffs, but Johnson's post-holdout campaign has to be disappointing. As for Frank Gore, who led a resurgent 49ers team, he's been shackled by injury ever since WK10, and he could sit in favor of the surprising Reggie Bush, who has been a nice surprise this season. Johnson and Gore were supposed to be top five backs, not top fifteenth. In sum, the Jubas perserved through what could have been a tough season, with franchise guys Manning and Johnson practically useless. Instead they hawked the waiver wire, emerged with some new cornerstones, and will be looking to advance to another Super Bowl.

Final Standings 2011

The Savior is Here!

After a 76.4 - 122.7 loss to division leader Ante Up this past week, the Dirty Birds are in desperate straits. Despite a roster featuring the likes of Adrian Peterson, Roddy White, Larry Fitzgerald, Miles Austin, Dwayne Bowe, and Rob Gronkowski, the Birds are have only two wins and three straight losses.

Keeper RB Knowshon Moreno has proven to be a huge bust (again) and while Darren Sproles and Mike Tolbert have their uses, this team needs an injection of leadership and ground game. Welcome to the Tim Tebow era! Needing to find an answer after suffering through Ben Roethlisberger and the recently released Josh Freeman, GM Jon scooped up the Tebow last week and quickly got him up to speed on the play book. Management is hoping that Tebow is the second coming of Michael Vick / Cam Newton and fan interest is already up 210%.

A team executive spoke off the record. "After missing the playoffs last year with this stellar roster, we can't afford to miss it again this season. My mom would kick my ass if I had all these great players and didn't get into the post-season."

One reason floated for the Dirty Birds' early season struggles is a tough schedule. So far, the Birds have faced the hardest schedule in the league by a landslide and faced opponents scoring 120+ points in four of the first six weeks. Here's hoping that the WK7 matchup against Chunky Monkeys will start the turnaround, as the Jon smoked Evan 156 - 127.80 in WK2 before going 1-3 right afterwards.

Te-bow! Te-bow! Te-bow!

Early Season Power Rankings

Parity has set in right? Have we ever been four weeks into a season and NOT had a winless team? Well this year we not only have no winless teams, and the entire Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses division is at 0.500 or better. The only two teams with a losing record in the league are Buffy and Tiiite End Jammers, and they are only one game out of first place in this young season. Let's take a quick look at how everyone's teams are faring in our first four weeks.

Fobsters (3-1)
Can one man lead a team to the top? Well, when that man is Tom Brady, currently averaging 36.7 ppg, that answer is "yes." While losing Calvin Johnson must hurt, RB Michael Turner has been providing the grinding work he was acquired for. With WR Steve Smith having a comeback year -- paired with Cam Newton -- the Fobsters have the parts to stay at the top along with TE Jason Witten, RB Beanie Wells, and WRs Dez Bryant and Jordy Nelson. Of course it's been nice to play the second easiest schedule in the league, but the Fobsters have been over 100+ three times already and lost only to a 135 point Battle Angels' explosion in WK3.

Ante Up (2-2)
Our highest scoring team in the league, it's incredible what Aaron Rodgers has been doing so far. He's averaging 37.9 points per outing and sits atop the fantasy world, especially after his recent 58 point outing in WK4. Jae's team also features two 20+ ppg running backs in LeSean McCoy and Ray Rice. The concern for this team is in the WR department, where rising star Kenny Britt was tragically derailed for the season, and old veteran Reggie Wayne misses Peyton Manning something awful. So far Santonio Holmes, Lance Moore, and Mario Manningham have not been the answer. If Ante Up can find some receivers, this team could ascend another level.

Gang Green (3-1)
As always, Greg's team is faring well. WR Steve Johnson has continued his ascent, becoming a top ten receiver. Hakeem Nicks isn't far behind either, as he averages 14.7 ppg, good for eleventh best WR on the charts. With RB Peyton Hillis proving that he's not a one year wonder and Ahmad Bradshaw emerging as a reliable running mate (pushing underwhelming Shonn Greene out of the picture), the backfield is solid if unspectacular. Overall the Greenies have been very consistent, putting up 100+ in each of their first four games. Despite not being explosive, they have acquired a lofty perch by taking care of business and beating teams when they stumble.

Fat Jubas (2-2)
Things were not looking good in Jubaville as franchise QB Peyton Manning was on the sidelines to begin the season. Then GM Eric took Cam Newton off the waiver wire in WK2 and everything changed. Oh and how about Darren McFadden, who finally has solidified his status as a fantasy all-star. McFadden is the third best non-QB in the game right now, and he continues to look great each week. With Chris Johnson barely rounding into shape after his lockout, Frank Gore has been working to get his way into the lineup. Eric has juggled a lot of players this season and if all three RBs start playing to their expectations, he may need to move one of them. On the receiver side, it's TE Jimmy Graham taking the fantasy world by storm as he averages 16.7 ppg while never having touched single digits. He pairs nicely with deep threat Vincent Jackson on the outside. With Killer Cam now the automatic starter, we see the Jubas climbing the standings very soon.

Battle Angel (2-2)
Somehow Vu's team has put up the second most points in the league this season. Yes, QB Drew Brees is up at 32.0 ppg, and sure WR Greg Jennings has been amazing. But with Cedric Benson and DeAngelo Williams both sucking it up in the backfield, how is this team winning? May we offer Fred Jackson! Our draft analysis said, "While we like Fred Jackson, he'll hardly be the new face of the franchise." Well 20+ ppg later, he just might be! The Angels could be in for some dark times though, as Andre Johnson is out for his customary mid-season injury break, and there is nobody helping Fred out in the backfield. Maybe if rookie Daniel Thomas can crank it up some, Vu's team can keep fighting for a playoff spot.

Chunky Monkeys (2-2)
The Monkeys had a chance to go 3-1 this pass weekend but lost on MNF to LeGarrette Blount's late night heroics. With Jamaal Charles out for the year, the Monkeys have a big hole to fill in the backfield. The good news is that sophomore RB Ryan Mathews has finally become dependable option, and is #8 among non-QBs so far. Even better, recently acquired WR Calvin Johnson has set the record books on fire with his eight touchdowns in four games streak. He has been absolutely carrying the receiving corps, as Brandon Marshall, Santana Moss, and Jermichael Finley have been erratic at best. Rookie WR Julio Jones may be coming on though, which would be a desperately needed complement to Johnson. While down on his luck this season, Evan's team is still looking pretty good, even as it's come down to earth some.

Philadelphia Phreaks (2-2)
The Phreaks could have one more win, but they lost by 0.40 in WK1 to Battle Angel upon debut of our decimal scoring system. Ping is the only owner to not have made one lineup move so far, and considering the wide gap in quality between his starters and his bench, he may not need to until byes hit. While newly acquired Michael Vick hasn't been able to lead the Eagles to victory, his 24.5 ppg has still been just as advertised. For a team that hasn't really hit their stride yet, the Phreaks are very well balanced with upside at every position. WR Mike Wallace is a true number one, and the combination of DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin means at least one of them will produce each week. Jahvid Best has surprisingly outperformed LeGarrette Blount but that's hardly a bad thing. We see the Phreaks taking a big step forward in upcoming weeks as Vick and Co. start to go into hyperdrive.

Dirty Birds (2-2)
When there's no clear leadership, sometimes a talented ship can go astray. GM Jon has continued to select the wrong QB to lead his team, alternating between Josh Freeman and Ben Roethlisberger on wrong weeks. That will have to stop. While Adrian Peterson has quietly been a top back, a big gaping hole at RB2 is there, despite having Mike Tolbert and Darren Sproles on the roster, both of whom deserve a starting nod. The vaunted passing attack has been good, but having Calvin Johnson still around sure would have been nice. Instead, TE sensation Rob Gronkowski is going to be the fourth receiver here. The Birds have proven to be explosive but also highly inconsistent. They'll have to find more consistent play from the QB position if they hope to soar this season.

Buffy (1-3)
Who's the best fantasy receiver in the land? How about Wes Welker! With ten catches a game, 616 yards, and 5 TDs already under his belt, Mr. Welker is having an all universe year. Not only is he the top receiver around, he's the best non-QB player so far this season. With Arian Foster struggling with injuries early on, Matt Forte has been outstanding, with 22.1 ppg and ranking in the top five overall. QB Jay Cutler was great for three weeks before last week's stumble, but he should remain the starter. What this team needs is receivers who can help out Welker. So far it's been rookie AJ Green who has been the top contributer, which is great news, but Buffy needs more. This team is on the rise though, as they've fought hard WK1-3 before notching an explosive victory versus Ante Up in WK4.

Tiiite End Jammers (1-3)
The only team so far in CTDB not averaging 100+ per week, in this season of wild scoring, the Jammers may find themselves slightly underpowered. The first Jammer to appear on the non-QB scoring rankings is waiver wire WR Eric Decker, who has only played two games for the franchise. New Jammer RB Maurice Jones-Drew has been okay, but averaging 13.8 ppg isn't going to carry this team to any victories. Tony Romo has been a top ten QB so far this season but his health continues to be a question and he'll likely split time with Ryan Fitzpatrick some more. What the Jammers need is for all of their receivers to step up, and to find out what is wrong with Rashard Mendenhall. Otherwise the Jammers are only going to be a top contender for the Toilet Bowl.

Grading the 2011 Draft

A summer that threatened lockout and a late beginning to the NFL. Whew, glad we dodged that one. Officially kicking off our second decade, Catch the Damn Ball heads into its eleventh season with the Chunky Monkeys on top and quite a few past champions sitting at the bottom of the standings. Let's take a look at what everyone reloaded with, during an exciting and trade heavy off-season. These grades mainly reflect what was done with the draft slot opportunity, and how the players acquired project to help their teams this upcoming season.

1. Battle Angels
After winning the inaugural Toilet Bowl -- an accomplishment since the Angels had the worst record last year -- Vu knew exactly who to target with his number one pick. Because he already had Saints QB Drew Brees in the fold, Vu stepped away from Mark Ingram toward Dolphins rookie RB Daniel Thomas. Pundits are split on which rookie RB will have the most impact, but Thomas has just as good a chance as anyone else. There's a clear need for another breakout back on this team, as keepers DeAngelo Williams and Cedric Benson are probably middle of the pack due to situation or talent. While we like Fred Jackson, he'll hardly be the new face of the franchise. And seventh round pick Ronnie Brown is an afterthought.

The Battle Angels will be primarily an aerial team again this season, as Austin Collie, Vernon Davis, James Jones, and Malcolm Floyd will be productive complements next to Andre Johnson and Greg Jennings. Vu also went all in with the Pack, by scooping up their defense in RD6. Even with a number one overall pick, this NFL draft offered no clear superstars, so Vu went with a mixed collecton of young veterans with upside. We gave the Angels draft last year an A-, but that actually turned out to be way off as they bottomed out. Perhaps this low relatively low grade will end up opposite of predictions also.
Grade: B

2. Dirty Birds
After a pair of off-season trades, this franchise went from having two top ten backs to possibly going run and shoot for the immediate future. Michael Turner was essentially exchanged for Roddy White, and the Birds had only Knowshon Moreno as a second back heading into the draft. GM Jon went RB heavy with his mid-round picks, grabbing rookie Roy Helu, Mike Tolbert, and Rashad Jennings in successive rounds. None of them are starters -- same with eighth round pick Javon Ringer -- and all are involved in timeshares. Hum.

The good news is the arrival of Dwayne Bowe and Michael Crabtree give the WR corps a very strong look. White, Larry Fitzgerald, Miles Austin, and Bowe are the best receiving group in the league, and they'll have to be as the Birds look to spread the field. This year's two-headed QB attack will be Ben Roethlisberger and Josh Freeman. Without the addition of Bowe, we're thinking this draft might have been less than average as there is still gaping holes next to Adrian Peterson.
Grade: C+

3. Tiiite End Jammers
Right before the draft started, GM Lei shipped off Michael Vick in exchange for RB Maurice Jones-Drew, giving his backfield a great one-two punch. With Rashard Mendenhall, Jones-Drew, and Ryan Grant in the fold, the Jammers needed some receivers to pair with Percy Harvin. The drafting department went right to work, using five of their first six picks on pass catchers. Marques Colston and Hines Ward have both seen better days but they're still able to contribute. Young guys like Sidney Rice, Mike Thomas, Johnny Knox, and Jacoby Ford all have potential, and should one of them follow through, that would greatly boost the Jammers' chances of finally returning to the playoffs.

The Vick for MJD trade also involved a fifth round swap, which basically amounted to RBs Marshawn Lynch for Ryan Torain. We're not sure if Torain will see much time in a crowded Redskins backfield, but the Jammers probably won't need him much this season. QB Tony Romo has been given the vote of confidence and Lei will need him to stay healthy this time around.
Grade: B+

4. Gang Green
Traditionally, the draft is the appetizer to Gang Green's in-season free agent meals. Their draft plan is generally this: Grab a few Michigan guys here, draft a couple of New York players there, and wait for the waiver wire to open. Last year's keeper core was mostly decimated due to injury and retirement so this year's keeper five features three players acquired through free agency last year: Peyton Hillis, Steve Johnson, and Brandon Lloyd. Disappointing Shonn Greene was the only returning player, along with last year's first round pick, breakout WR star Hakeem Nicks.

This year first rounder yielded another Giants player with nice upside in Ahmad Bradshaw, who has excellent potential. RB BenJarvus Green-Ellis won't score 13 TDs again but he'll prove a useful backup. Unsurprisingly, Matt Schaub and Eli Manning are the QBs Greg went with, both very familiar to this franchise. Braylon Edwards, Kellen Winslow, and Roy Williams rounded out the draft, none of whom we're much excited about. We like Bradshaw, the two quarterbacks and Jets Defense, but really the draft has never been crucial to this team's success.
Grade: C+

5. Ante Up
GM Jae has been on a roll with his drafts recently, unearthing Aaron Rodgers, Ray Rice, and LeSean McCoy. With his backfield beautifully positioned for the future, Jae was looking to add some depth behind fading Reggie Wayne and promising Kenny Britt. First rounder Santonio Holmes is going to have a big comeback season and we think he's a steal here. Second rounder Mario Manningham could be headed for a big step up too, after proving he was a big playmaker for the Giants last season. Heck, even Lance Moore could step in for a few games if necessary.

Even with Rice and McCoy locked up, Jae felt the need to grab four more RBs -- Jonathan Stewart, CJ Spiller, Joseph Addai, Michael Bush. Every one of those guys, save Spiller, has proven to be useful in some capacity in their careers. As backups they'll be more than enough, and one could serve as useful trait bait if necessary. We are big fans of Jae's draft and think he made all the right moves to stay in contention after making it to the divisional finals last year. True story: Ante Up scored the most points during the record season last year.
Grade: A

6. Philadelphia Phreaks
The bold trade for Michael Vick is going to determine whether or not the Phreaks have back-to-back winning seasons for the first time in their franchise's history. Vick is a game changer and if he can deliver on even 75% of his promise, the Phreaks can book a spot in the playoffs. Of course, giving up their only reliable running back created a huge hole in the backfield. GM Ping moved to fill that quickly with LeGarrette Blount, who came on really strong during his rookie year. He'll fill one spot in the empty backfield but we're not sold on Jahvid Best staying healthy -- but watch out if he can! This year's rookie RB, Ryan Williams, just ruptured his patella tendon and is already out for the season. That means Ping is going to need Best, Marshawn Lynch, or Falcons' rookie backup Jacquizz Rogers to be there behind Blount. We think they'll need more.

What the Phreaks do have is an outstanding passing attack, anchored by DeSean Jackson, Jeremy Maclin, and Mike Wallace, who had a fantastic breakout season last year. Pierre Garcon, Davone Bess, and Deion Branch will provide depth but we can't see any of them hitting the field behind that fabulous starting trio, short of injury or bye weeks. Ping went all in with the Eagles -- as usual -- by selecting their defense and special teams in RD4. An ex-Eagle, Kevin Kolb, will serve as Vick's backup this season and he's sure to see the field at some point.
Grade: C+, downgraded due to the unfortunate Williams injury

7. Fat Jubas
A last to first performance for the Jubas. That's what happens when you trade for Peyton Manning, Chris Johnson, and have Darren McFadden finally emerge. The Jubas have an intimidating roster, with Frank Gore also on-board, and last year's draft freebie, WR Vincent Jackson back in Chargers' powder blue for a full season. The Jubas have never had back-to-back winning seasons either, which is a bit surprising. We're going to find out real quick if last year's success can be duplicated as Manning is suffering from a scary neck issue still, and Johnson is holding out for mega-bucks.

Eric loves his veterans, and especially his tight ends. Last year's team featured four or five TEs on the roster and this year the Jubas have Dallas Clark, Marcedes Lewis, and Owen Daniels ready to go too. Next to Jackson, we're looking at a bounce back season for Anquan Boldin and maybe a little something from Plaxico Burress. With this many veteran pass catchers around, the Jubas will be fine, if not necessarily spectacular passing the ball. Sleeper rookie DeMarco Murray could start very soon, and we like him ten times as much as Brandon Jacobs, who doesn't offer much more than a few yards and some touchdown work.
Grade: B

8. Buffy
Despite being upset in the first round last year by Ante Up, Buffy had a very successful 2010 campaign. Second best record in the league, the second most points scored, Arian Foster emerging as a fantasy monster, and nice multi-dimensional seasons from Matt Forte and Stephen Jackson. There were a lot of failures in the receivers department though, as Wes Welker was off his game and Antonio Gates was dinged up quite a bit. Enter rookie AJ Green, the new hope for a healthy passing game. With the Bengals stuck in offensive purgatory, Green is a great pick but likely at least a year away. That means Chad Ochocinco will have to step up his game -- a 50-50 toss up. The WR we're high on is actually Danny Amendola, who will have a more experienced Sam Bradford tossing him the rock.

The QBs Roger tagged to start off the season are Matt Ryan and Jay Cutler, with Ryan liking getting most of the early work. In an interesting move, Buffy drafted both the Ravens and Steelers defenses. While a defense in RD6 isn't necessarily too early, two of them in two rounds makes little to no sense. Explanation? If Green is slow to start and Ochocino can't link up with Tom Brady, we foresee either Forte or Jackson to be shipped off for receiving help, assuming Foster stays healthy. Reggie Bush was drafted in the late rounds to provide some media pull as an ex of Kim Kardashian.
Grade: C

9. Fobsters
It's clear that the once much mocked Fobsters are now a perennial contender. With three playoff appearances in four years and last year's shocking run to the Super Bowl, semi-new owner Jimmy has turned this franchise around. After inheriting a team that fueled a 2-23-1 record over his first two seasons, Jimmy has been running a 0.500 (26-26) operation since. We gave Fobsters a "D" for last year's draft, which filled no holes in the gaping backfield. However, rookies Dez Bryant and Mike Williams both impressed and have upgraded the upside at receiver by a factor of ten. Veteran TE Jason Witten returns and he'll provide his usual 80+ catches and 1000 yards. With all those receivers in hand, the Fobsters made an off-season trade to turn franchise receiver Calvin Johnson into running back Michael Turner. While Johnson is a consensus top three receiver, getting a dependable RB was very important for this franchise. This gives the Fobsters their only legitimate top ten back since Deuce McAllister.

Now for 2011's draft. Frankly, we love it. Getting a top rookie running back at ninth overall is huge. Even if Mark Ingram is just one cog in the Saints' offensive juggernaut, he can't be any worse than Reggie Bush (originally drafted by the Fobsters and finally un-keepered this off-season). With his seventh rounder, Jimmy swept up Ingram's teammate, Pierre Thomas, for insurance. While the "real" Steve Smith is no longer a franchise player, he's worth a shot in case he gets traded. Heck, talented but trapped in Buffalo Lee Evans was moved to Baltimore recently, which will greatly enhance both his and Joe Flacco's value. The Fobsters took Evans and Flacco in RD4 and RD6 respectively, pre-trade. The season ending injury to Cardinals' rookie Ryan Williams opens the door for Beanie Wells, another slight boost. And if Tim Hightower can make some moves in Washington, Jimmy might finally have a decent ground game to complement Brady and his stable of pass catchers.
Grade: A-

10. Chunky Monkeys
It's clear that even if Ryan Mathews emerges this season, the trade for him that cost the Monkeys Chris Johnson was a lopsided one. Then again, the Monkeys won their second title without the services of Johnson, and are primed to do it again. Jamaal Charles may split time with a bigger back but his stats are out of this world. He's a top fantasy option and is only getting better. The less said of Mathews right now the better, and he represents a huge hole at the second RB position. With too many keeper worthy players around, Evan had to make some tough cuts, including Dwayne Bowe and Anquan Boldin. The good news is their last few trades maneuvers resulted in a whopping three second round picks for a defending champion. Very dangerous.

After nabbing Felix Jones in RD1, GM Evan snatched up TE Jermichael Finley, rookie Julio Jones, and WR Santana Moss. By the time other people were just gathering their rosters together, the Monkeys had their lineup and backups all filled out. This Falcons' fan may be a bit biased but WR Julio Jones is going to be tremendous. With the recent swap of Roddy White for Calvin Johnson, Evan won't even have to worry about inter-team conflict in the future. While we're not entirely sold on Brandon Marshall, Monkeys' management is convinced he's headed for a bounce back year. Old hand Santana Moss will likely fit into the third receiver slot with Johnson and Marshall to start the season. Unless Mr. Irrelevant, Robert Meachem, wants a crack at the starting gig.

We're still very concerned about that hole next to Jamal Charles. Felix Jones is a pass catching threat, but not the sort of runner Evan generally likes. LaDainian Tomlison is returning though, and it would be quite amusing if he has another season that is better than his Chargers' heir apparent. QB Philip Rivers is the centerpiece of the whole Monkeys' operation, and backup Matt Stafford will likely never see the field. To be honest, we're surprised at the lack of promise in the Monkeys' draft, outside of the two Jones'. The three second rounders seem slightly wasted? All Evan was hunting for to defend his championship seems to be solid performers who may or may not be up to the challenge.
Grade: B-

One Primate to Rule Them All

Historical Record
After a rough couple of years that featured only a 38-22-1 record, the Chunky Monkeys decided they had enough in 2006 and went on a 12-1 tear that threatened to rip apart the fabric of the CTDB universe. That one loss was a squeaker in WK6 versus Buffy, and it took 163 points to do it. Two weeks later, the Monkeys set the regular season high for points in a game with 178 points -- they were coming off of 149 and 153 point weeks. That year they set the record for Most Points Scored (2054), Highest Average Game Score (136.93), Most Wins (14), Best Average Point Differential (+40.60), and Most High Week Scores (10). They literally rewrote the record book. Oh, and they came back to avenge that one loss in the playoffs, annihilating Buffy 128-70 in the division finals before winning Super Bowl VI.

In the past five years, the Monkeys have compiled a regular season record of 47-18, won every division title during that span, been to four Super Bowls, and taken home two championship trophies. A case can be made that the Chunky Monkeys have been the greatest franchise in CTDB history. They have an all time record of 103-53-2, a sterling 65.8% winning percentage. That's twenty more wins than their next closest competitor in that category by the way. They've never had more than five losses in a season, been under 0.500 only once (!), and... Okay, we could go on. It's hard to argue that CM haven't been one of the best ever. The question is: Why isn't that a definitive "The Monkeys are the best ever!"

Well, the answer to that is because the Monkeys were for a very long time perceived as chokers. Despite being favored many times and usually heading into the playoffs cushioned with a bye, the juggernaut Monkeys have also folded just as many times as they've won. Sure we're rating them on an impossible scale but when your team is perceived as the most talented year after year, the fan base expects rings. In their first five seasons, the Monkeys regularly ripped off regular season wins only to collapse in the playoffs. The one time they made it to the Super Bowl, they lost to the Fat Jubas without putting up much of a fight.

Insert Peyton face.

There are some people who would argue that other teams have a spot at the top of the charts. Just two years ago, Green Team seemingly ended the Team of the Decade debate. In head to head matchups, the Greenies are the only team to have a winning record versus the Monkeys, none bigger than their stunning upset in Super Bowl VIII. Some had argued that other franchises' two championships make them the best team ever. For awhile, that was a viable stance.

Oh, but wait, the Monkeys have their two championships now too. If they can win another championship soon, while avoiding another Super Bowl upset, they could make their case for the Greatest Team of All Time, forget just Team of the Decade. Right now, they are simply "The Winningest Team" or "The Most Consistent Team." We feel like the Monkeys need to have more wins in the Super Bowl than they do losses before we're ready to give them the crown. Plus we need a reason to believe that the rest of us have a chance.

Core Roster
At the beginning of our first keeper season in 2001, a younger Evan drafted Peyton Manning and a Chargers' rookie named LaDainian Tramayne Tomlinson. Those two stalwarts laid the groundwork for a decade of success. Operating with the philosophy that two stud running backs wins games, Evan featured Fred Taylor and Terrell Davis early on, before turning to LDT as the featured back. Blessed with both Peyton and Brett Favre, an early season trade netted WRs Johnnie Morton and Keenan McCardell. However, a weak WR corps would plague the Monkeys for years. Joe Horn emerged as a serviceable first receiver but he was far from the superstar that Evan coveted. Other receivers that first season included Jerome Pathon, Germane Crowell, Derrick Mason, and Wayne Chrebet.

Superior running backs would come and go over the years as the Monkeys became famous for their awesome pairings. Shaun Alexander ran alongside LDT for many years, both men churning into endzones on the regular. Then when Alexander was traded, Larry Johnson stepped up to the plate. Gifted with an eye for drafting young RBs, Evan always had many an emerging runner on his roster. Frank Gore, Matt Forte, Chris Johnson, and Jamaal Charles all came up through the Monkeys' farm system. Many of the RBs would be shuffled around but the Monkeys always had a stable of studs. At one point in 2009, the roster boasted LDT, Chris Johnson, Forte, Charles, and Larry Johnson. Goodness!

The passing game, on the other hand, usually lacked consistent performers. An aging Jimmy Smith faded away, Joe Horn was traded after two seasons, David Boston never panned out. A trade for Javon Walker seemed to amply fill the hole at third receiver but Walker's best year (singular) was already behind him. Same with Chad Johnson, who was unceremoniously cut the same season he arrived via trade for an declining Larry Johnson. Donald Driver and Darrell Jackson were steady veterans but never quite the stars Evan was looking for. A string of young receiving talent would go on to bomb: Kevin Dyson, Travis Taylor, Brandon Lloyd, Michael Clayton, DJ Hackett, Jerricho Cotchery, Anthony Gonzalez, just to name a few. The Monkeys did draft Andre Johnson but early on he would proved to be injury prone and was eventually released. By 2008, the Monkeys did settle into a nice core of Terrell Owens, Anquan Boldin, Vincent Jackson, and a brief fling with Antonio Gates.

Last year's new look receiving corps was the strongest Evan ever assembled: Roddy White, Dwayne Bowe, Brandon Marshall, and an ailing Anquan Boldin. They led the way for a new passing attack centered around QB Philip Rivers, who was acquired in the trade that sent Peyton Manning packing. The traditional two headed RB monster is now just one, Jamaal Charles, as rookie Ryan Mathews has yet to prove that he was worth Chris Johnson. With Peyton and LDT both off the keeper roster, a new era of Monkey madness has begun, one that might see less WK16 sit downs and bow outs.

One thing's for certain, the Monkeys never stand pat. They've moved more superstars around the league than Drew Rosenhaus. Over the years they've participated in about one big deal per year. Let's go take a look. See a pattern? Evan tends to mine young RBs and then swap them out for a WR or two. The hunt for a dominant air game has cost them at times. In 2005, they moved franchise player Shaun Alexander and subsequently lost the championship to Fat Jubas -- the team that received Alexander. All that wheeling and dealing has kept life exciting though, and Evan has proven that he's a GM who takes risks and works every angle to maintain an unparalleled level of excellence.

Season Breakdowns
2010: 9-4; Won the division and dominated throughout the playoffs, winning a second Super Bowl by defeating Fobsters
2009: 8-5; Won the division but lost to major underdog Gang Green in the Super Bowl
2008: 8-5; Won the division after starting off slow (1-2), lost to the favored Battle Angels in the Super Bowl
2007: 10-3; Won the division but upset by eventual co-champ Dirty Birds in the divisional championship game
2006: 12-1; Won the division, rewrote the record book, nearly went undefeated, and stampeded their way to a Super Bowl win
2005: 8-4-1; After handily winning their two playoff games, including upsetting Ante Up, they lost to Fat Jubas in the Super Bowl
2004: 9-4; Won the division but lost in the division finals to eventual champion Buffy
2003: 9-4; A second seed but then upset in the first round of the playoffs by Ante Up
2002: 8-5; A second seed but lost to eventual champion Dirty Birds in the divisional championship game
2001: 8-5; Led by ROY LaDainian Tomlinson, racked up nine century games in a row but lost in the playoffs to eventual champion BuffyStats (full)
Highest Avg Game Score, Season: 136.93 (2006)
Most Points Scored, Game: 178 (2006)
Least Points Scored, Game: -- (----)
Best Margin of Victory, Game: 87 (2009)
Worst Margin of Defeat, Game: -54 (2008)
Longest Winning Streak, Season: 9 (2005)
Longest Losing Streak, Season: 3 (2005)

The Eagle Has Landed

In a move that was largely seen as inevitable, Michael Vick 2.0 is now a Philadelphia Phreak. The Tiiite End Jammers boasted two top QBs, with Vick and Tony Romo on board, but that was one too many. After an injury plagued season from Romo last year, the Jammers knew that Vick had more trade value.

After a round of whirlwind discussions, it was agreed that Ping would send RB Maurice Jones-Drew and a 2011 RD5 pick for Michael Vick and an accompanying RD5 pick. With Vick now in the fold, the Philly Phreaks boast the entire Eagles' aerial attack, as WRs DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin are also keepers. The lone running back will be sophomore speedster Jahvid Best, which means the Phreaks are in the market for more durable options entering the draft.

As for the Tiiite End Jammers, they now have Tony Romo back at the helm. With three solid running backs behind him -- Jones-Drew, Rashard Mendenhall, Ryan Grant -- Romo should have a balanced attack. The official Jammers' press release about the trade was a bit harsh on Vick, but the PR department quickly stepped in to say nice things about the ex-dog killer afterwards. The original statement was this: "After using up all of Vick's mojo last season, the Jammers have kicked Vick to the curb and made it Romo's team once again!"

Analysts love the trade for both sides. Having two top QBs in a ten team league was useless for Lei, so getting a franchise running back was a great return. As for the Phreaks, if Vick can stay even seventy five percent healthy, he's got the potential to be the best fantasy player in the land. As part of the Phreaks' recent resurgence, we really like this move.

2011 Keepers

The Rules 2.0

General League Rules

• New rules are implemented upon a majority vote from the league.
• Trades can be overturned by three-fourths of the Rules Committee (Jon, Evan, Eric, Ping). If it is a tie, then the trade goes through.

Roster Limits

• 8 active starters, 6 reserves, 1 IR slot
• Any player can be placed on the IR slot, but once there, they no longer allowed to be active for the rest of the season. The player in the IR slot can be released.
• Five players may be designated as keepers each year

Starting Lineup

1 QB
1 RB
3 WR/TE
1 RB/WR/TE
1 K
1 Def

• Illegal rosters score zero points in standings
• Lineup deadline: Five minutes before gametime for each player

Scoring

• See scoring rules spreadsheet
• Tiebreaker: None, leave regular season matchups as ties

Transactions, Waivers, and Trades

• Add/Drop Deadline: Five minutes before each week's first game
• Add/Drop Limit: None, allow owners to do unlimited add/drops

• Waivers run: Wed, Thu, Fri, Sat
• Waivers period: 1 day
• Waivers Order Resets: Never, set at beginning of season according to draft order
• All players not on a roster are picked up via the waivers process for the first waiver run of each week
• All players not cut by a team are then free agents, and available for unlimited adding after the first waiver wire run of the week

• Trade Deadline: December 1st

Playoffs & Toilet Bowl

• Playoffs start: Week 14
• First Round Bye: Division winners receive a first round bye
• Playoff seeding tiebreakers will be determined by: (1) Head to Head Record, (2) Points Scored, (3) Division Record
• [Added 8/2015] Playoff teams always draft after non-playoff teams, regardless of win-loss record.
• In the event that a playoff game ends in a tie, the deadlock will be broken using (1) Most touchdowns scored by a starting roster, (2) Most points scored by a starting defense
• The winner of the Toilet Bowl receives the #1 overall pick in RD1, while the loser of the Toilet Bowl receives #2 overall pick in RD1, before they revert to their original positons for the rest of the draft. Toilet Bowl seedings and details.

Drafting

• Yearly draft order is calculated according to reverse regular season standings (same tie-breakers as playoff format)
• The two Super Bowl contestants draft second-to-last and last
• The draft is worst to first, non-snake

Moving Forward

New Rules for 2011

• Decimalization of scores. Each rushing/receiving yard is now 0.1 points, and each passing yard is 0.05 points.
• Illegal rosters score zero points for the team and in the standings.
• Waivers will now be run 4x a week: Wed, Thu, Fri, Sat. Players cut by a team will be on waivers for one day. In addition, the waiver order will be set at the beginning of the season (in draft order) and then never reset. Picking up a player will drop a team to the bottom of the queue. Free agents will still be picked up free for all, after the first day of waivers run each week. (Detail)

Things voted on but not passed

• Using CBS vs ESPN: Denied on a 5-5 tie.

Mega-Roddy!

Well, that sure didn't take long. A few hours after newly minted Dirty Bird receiver, Calvin Johnson, passed his physical, word came that a deal had been struck which would send Johnson to the Monkeys for Roddy White.

The deal was officially struck this afternoon as the commissioner's office received the final details of the trade. Calvin Johnson plus the Dirty Bird's 2nd pick in the 2011 draft for Roddy White and the Monkey's 3rd pick in the 2011 draft.

Strangely enough, this was the first trade between the two storied franchises. "As active as both Jon (GM of the Dirty Birds) and I have been, for some reason, we never found a deal that we both liked. This deal was one we both liked," said GM Evan of the Chunky Monkeys.

According to the Monkey GM, "We've always loved Calvin Johnson and his big play ability. Roddy was a terrific contributor to our Super Bowl team last year and I thank him for all his hard work for us last year. However, getting Megatron was a unique opportunity to get a little younger, taller and in our opinion, better. We spoke with Philip Rivers prior to getting the deal done and he is very excited about working with Calvin. We think this could be a great pair for years."

According to ESPN Senior Analyst, Adam Shefter, "Great deal all around that just works for both teams. Roddy White gets to play for the home town Dirty Birds and the Monkeys continue to re-tool as they prepare to defend their title. Both are Tier 1A receivers so it was simply a matter of the two teams finding a better fit in the other receiver. The 2nd pick for the Monkeys could be significant as well as they continue to stock pile picks. Good move for both teams."

Turner to GMs: "Not Again!"

For the third time in a little over eighteen months, Falcons running back Michael Turner is on the move. "Shit, I'm not buying no more. Just renting. No, subletting probably. My family is hurting man, we're hurting!" After a bounce back season in 2010, in which Turner churned up 1300+ yards and 12 TDs, Dirty Birds management has decided to swap him for WR Calvin Johnson, the finale in a long rumored deal. In fact, this exact deal may have been attempted last year before the playoffs, but the trade deadline nixed that plan.

The Fobsters' Calvin Johnson feels similarly slighted. After contributing heavily to the franchise's first Super Bowl appearance last post-season, the homegrown receiver thought a big raise was in order. However, management felt differently after Johnson scored only seven points in the championship game. "We thought as an evil Transformer, Megatron would have given us more than four receptions and fifty yards. We were disappointed in his performance," said GM Jimmy.

The number one overall draft pick in 2007, Calvin Johnson has emerged as an elite threat despite working with inferior quarterbacks throughout his career. (That same draft was the one that netted Dirty Birds RB Adrian Peterson, one pick after Johnson) After looking over his roster, GM Jimmy decided that the lack of a ground game was too glaring a hole on his roster. Armed with young guns Santonio Holmes, Mike Williams, and Dez Bryant on the roster, Johnson was deemed a luxury. Turner will be tasked with giving the Fobsters a presence on the ground after their lackluster backfield by committee last season.

As for the team Megatron arrives to, they'll now be a high flying squad. With Larry Fitzgerald, Miles Austin, and Johnson aboard, the Dirty Birds have decided to take to the air. While they still boast consensus number one running back Adrian Peterson, GM Jon felt that a shakeup was in order. The new second RB will be Knowshon Moreno, who has flashed some promise but has yet to achieve the productivity Turner has. Rumors are that other deals are in the works, as the Dirty Birds work to acquire a Falcon for their roster. With this blockbuster, the 2011 season is officially off to a fast start!

Iguana Strikes Back

Historical Record
If we're measuring success by Super Bowl appearances, the Fat Jubas have been one of the most successful franchises in CTDB history. They advanced to the championship round four times -- 2002, 2003, 2005, 2006 -- and won a Super Bowl on their third visit. They also racked up an impressive eight playoff showings and two divisional titles. Those exploits make them second only to Gang Green's achievements in the Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses division.

The Jubas have been savvily guide by Eric and are usually championship contenders and have had their share of big wins. Their 2002-2003 seasons were almost identical. Second place finishes in the division despite losing records, and then a joy filled romp to the Super Bowl.

Strangely, for a team with so much success, they only show up in the league record books once: for a second place showing on Most Points Allowed Season, in 2002. And the Fatties have an overall losing record of 74-80-2 (.481) for the past decade, which is surprising. Some would say that the early weakness of the SMG division gave the then Flaming Shrapnel a leg up, but those people might be just jealous of their postseason success.

Their divisonal rivalry with Gang Green is very lopsided, as they've lost 17 of 23 matchups. They have picked on the Fobsters and Phreaks franchise over the years though, compiling a 29-14 record against those two. Although of late the Jubas have had a disconcerting tendency to be upset in the playoffs by the Fobsters. Perhaps the best measure of the Jubas is to compare them with Battle Angel, who are similar in overall record, head to head matchups, and one championship each. Overall the Jubas have enjoyed a lot of unexpected playoff success but also some heartaches. They're looking to steady the ship heading into our eleventh year and are poised to do it quite well.

Core Roster
The Flaming Shrapnel stumbled out of the gates in 2001 but always had quite the roster of talented players on board. Ahman Green was the franchise running back and he was backed up by Anthony Thomas, Jamal Lewis (IR early), Garrison Hearst, and a young Shaun Alexander -- still stuck behind Ricky Watters. This sort of crowded backfield would come to define GM Eric's strategy for his early years. A few weeks into that first season, Green was shipped out for Eddie George, who had a very poor year. However, by 2002, George, Anthony Thomas, and Jamal Lewis would prove to be a capable running attack. Two years later, that potpourri would include be two younger backs, Domanick Davis and Chris Brown, who never quite sustained their early promise. Other RBs the grace the roster during this time included William Green, Tiki Barber, Warrick Dunn, Onterrio Smith, Thomas Jones, Tyrone Wheatley, and Cedric Benson before he was relevant.

It wasn't until 2005 that the Jubas found another franchise runner via trade: Shaun Alexander. A record setting season for Alexander led to a Super Bowl trophy for Eric. The next year, GM Eric got another franchise runner via trade, Frank Gore. By the time Alexander was ingloriously released in 2007, Ryan Grant and Michael Turner were ready for their star turns. After a disastrous 2009 season, GM Eric acquired Chris Johnson in a possible steal. With Gore still on board, and Darren McFadden finally cashing in on his promise, the Jubas enter the new decade with a fantastic three headed monster. Keep in mind, all those franchise making trades for RB came at the expense of Chunky Monkeys.

As the Jubas' backfield was turbulent and flipped over for many years, the receiving corps always had star power and production. Led off by Terrell Owens and Eric Moulds, the team had a nice tradition of a nice 1-2 punch and then a veteran in the third receiver role. Players like Cris Carter, Rod Smith, Jimmy Smith, Laveranues Coles, and Lee Evans had a good season or two before fading on. GM Eric also moved quickly on the waiver wire. Anquan Boldin exploded on the scene in 2003 as a rookie and GM Eric was right there to scoop him up. Another fantastic free agent came in 2006, right as the gap for a TO sized receiver was needed. Marques Colston was undrafted and ended up becoming an important cog in the Jubas' success for the next five years.

Young versions of Dwayne Bowe, Sidney Rice, and Brandon Marshall were also drafted or picked up by Eric. The scouting department for receivers is clearly underpaid at the Jubas' headquarters. Recently, they have started a tight end fascination too, as 2009-10 featured the likes of Dallas Clark, Tony Gonzalez, and Vernon Davis logging plenty of minutes. I believe all three even started a game in last season for the Jubas.

Let's talk about that quarterback position. The inaugural season featured Elvis Grbac and Alex Van Pelt. Trent Green steadied the position before Aaron Brooks came in for one outstanding year. The year after that, a trade for Steve McNair saved the 2003 season, and then Marc Bulger stepped onto the scene, leading Fat Jubas to a championship and steadying the position for a nice stretch. Eric caught Derek Anderson's one great year and then nabbed Kurt Warner for his two year resurgence. Last year, the Jubas traded for the steadiest QB in the game, Peyton Manning. However, with the great track record of grabbing QBs during their career peaks, Manning could just be a luxury.

After winning a divisional title last year, the Jubas have their strongest team on paper ever. Peyton Manning, Chris Johnson, Frank Gore, Darren McFadden, Marques Colston, Vincent Jackson, and Vernon Davis. There's a wealth of talent here and the Jubas are ready to challenge Gang Green for SMG accolades.

Season Breakdowns
2010: 8-5; Won a division title, started off 7-1, but upset by Fobsters in the divisional finals
2009: 4-8-1; Lost three in a row to end the season, sliding to last place in the division
2008: 7-6; Second in the division, mid-season five game winning streak, lost in the divisional round to eventual champion Battle Angels
2007: 6-7; Second in division, started off 2-6, upset in the first round by Fobsters
2006: 9-4; Won division, started off 5-2, advanced to the Super Bowl but lost to Chunky Monkeys
2005: 8-5; Second in the division, advanced to the Super Bowl, won their first championship versus Chunky Monkeys
2004: 7-6; Snuck into the playoffs, lost by three points in the first round to Battle Angels
2003: 6-7; Second in the division, advanced to the Super Bowl before losing to the Tiiite End Jammers
2002: 6-7; Second in the division, advanced to the Super Bowl before losing to the Dirty Birds
2001: 3-10; A lowly last place finish in the division

Stats (full)
Highest Avg Game Score, Season: 124.15 (2009)
Most Points Scored, Game: 161 (2009)
Least Points Scored, Game: 50 (2003)
Best Margin of Victory, Game: 93 (2008)
Worst Margin of Defeat, Game: -79 (2005)
Longest Winning Streak, Season: 9 (2006)
Longest Losing Streak, Season: 5 (2002)