Super Bowl XVII


Dirty Birds def Battle Angels, 136.3 - 104.3
The Dirty Birds have been here before, a whopping four times now: champs of Catch the Damn Ball! While we haven’t had any back-to-back winners yet, this was two of three for Birds, and represents the closest two titles we’ve had in CTDB history. After finishing 5-8 last season, Birds came right back to become the second highest PF team this year (while facing the softest opposing scheduled) and earned a first round bye after starting off the season 7-1. Despite a tepid 1-4 finish to the year, once the playoffs hit, all it took was two epic games from Todd Gurley and Dirty Birds were headed for another parade.

What a quick rebuild! The only player left over from that 2015 championship team was Gurley, as old stalwart Adrian Peterson was cut from the keeper roster prior to this year. And despite losing basically every trade he made before the draft — 2017 #1 Leonard Fournette for Dalvin Cook, Travis Kelce for TY Hilton, acquiring Des Bryant and Jimmy Graham, etc — and suffering season ending injuries to Odell Beckham Jr. and Cook, Jon’s team still steamrolled through the year. What a game, fantasy football!

It wasn’t all Gurley’s work this season though, as LeSean McCoy once again proved his star status, and Dak Prescott and Philip Rivers alternately time in the starting quarterback slot. With no receiving game to speak off -- Hilton led the team with Delanie Walker placing as the #6 TE -- the Birds turned to new rules that allowed three RBs and continually ran Gurley, McCoy, and Jerick McKinnon out there.

With Beckham and Cook returning next year, could Birds go for a repeat and really cement themselves as the greatest ever in CTDB history? With a league leading four titles, they have temporarily taken the lead, but we all know that the mythical G.O.A.T. title tends to change every few years. Note: This marks the fourth season in a row that Jon has won something, from the Toilet Bowl in 2014 and 2016 to titles in 2015 and 2017. What a run!

As for our runner-up, Battle Angel was looking to grab their second title (their last one was in 2008) and looked like they were in great position to do it. Likely ROY Alvin Kamara was the pickup of the season and Angel was coming off a 142.8 week in the conference finals. Alas, Kamara was stifled in the Super Bowl and while Vu made the right choice of Cam Newton over Drew Brees, the rest of his vaunted receiver core didn’t quite come to play, especially Jarvis Landry. The good news is that after leading the league in wins this year, Battle Angel is firmly back in proper contention after going 16-10 in the last two seasons, after participating in the pre-draft blockbuster of 2016.

Super Bowl Preview 2017

#1 Battle Angel (9-4) vs #1 Dirty Birds (8-5)
Both number one seeds in the two conferences took care of business last week, pounding their opponents into submission by scoring over 140+ points each. It’s unlikely Todd Gurley and Cam Newton will go over 40+ each again, but who knows! These were the two highest powered offensive teams in the league -- despite some pre-season doubts putting Angels at #10 in the power rankings -- this year so a shootout on championship Sunday could be coming.

Dirty Birds rushed out of the gates 5-0 before tumbling back to Earth a bit but they’ve been rock solid in recent weeks, and used their first round bye to rest up. A team ravaged by injuries — Odell Beckham Jr, Andrew Luck, rookie Alvin Cook, and many lesser lights — has still been good enough to get to the final game in a weird weird NFL season. The two headed monster of Gurley and LeSean McCoy has been outstanding and while T.Y. Hilton (acquired from Battle Angels pre-draft) has been disappointing, Dez Bryant (another pre-draft acquisition) has been just enough to help the team out.

After that, there’s been a series of pretty weak WRs on the roster, thus the last minute free agent grab of Keelan Cole, who has been red hot on fire the past three weeks. Could Cole be the x-factor here? As for the flex position, Jerick McKinnon will get the chance to shine as there isn’t really a whole lot of options left behind him. At tight end, Hunter Henry is now on IR but Delanie Walker has been better all season anyway. He’ll serve as the safety valve for Philip Rivers, who gets the start over Dak Prescott, who has been boom or bust this season.

As for Battle Angels, they faced a big quarterback decision of their own as they’ve got Newton and Drew Brees on the roster and have split starts between the two of them. Newton has scored 198.1 points for Angels this season, while Brees has scored 190.6. Maybe Vu can play both, one per half? Either way, they’ll have the best TE in the league to toss the rock to in Travis Kelce, who came over pre-draft from Dirty Birds. (Great trade eh?!) Jarvis Landry has been a flat out star this season — acquired pre-draft last year — and he’ll be joined by Jamison Crowder and Mike Wallace, who have been inconsistent but useful. There’s a chance Kelvin Benjamin, Robby Anderson, or old favorite Randall Cobb could show up in the starting lineup, but for now it’s Landry plus Crowder and Wallace. Either way, it’s clear that Angels have a big edge in the receiving department.

The question is what will the running game look like? Is Vu really going with Kerwynn Williams and Theo Riddick as his RB2 and FLEX positions? Could be! It really may not matter here though as likely ROY Alvin Kamara (undrafted by the way, fantasy football is stupid…) has been incredible save one week in WK14 when he left a game due to concussion. Aside from that, Kamara has been just as good as Gurley and could explode for huge fantasy points at any time.

There's a lot on the line for both teams. Dirty Birds could become the first four-time title winner in CTDB history (and second in three years) while Angels haven't added a championship to their trophy room since 2008. Overall, Battle Angels haven’t scored less than 123.9 points since WK7 so they’re likely going to be tough to upset. We predict an easy Angels win, unless something wonky happens.

Note: Let's not forget the pre-draft controversy that exploded and resulted in Dirty Birds having to compensate Angels an extra RD2 pick in 2018. That would be sure adding salt in the wound if they lost, right?!?

Toilet Bowl VIII

#4 Chunky Monkeys (4-9) def #2 LA Buffy (5-8), 115.3 - 100.5

It seems like every time Chunky Monkeys hit the Toilet Bowl they manage to come out with a victory. Last time Monkeys were out of the playoffs, in 2011, Evan ran the table in the loser's bracket and somehow he managed to do it again, this time while being the second-worst-team in the league to boot! A 4-9 record and a horrific PF sent the vaunted Monkeys franchise to the bottom of the league, before they recovered with three straight wins to end the season and capture next year’s #1 overall pick.

With a roster that boasts, um, Tyreek Hill and sort of Jordan Howard — plus the ghost of Julio Jones, who was traded before the season — Evan’s team is devoid of talent so they’ll really need next year’s top pick to hit. The good news is that last time GM Evan picked so high, he grabbed future Hall of Famer Trent Richardson… Can Trent 3.0 help Evan reclaim his championship dreams?

As for Buffy, a #2 overall pick isn’t bad, especially since Roger escaped a slot or two lower by narrowing beating Fat Jubas last week. A 1-5 start doomed Buffy to almost ran status but this is a nice consolidation prize for a rough 2017. With a veteran heavy team, it could be prime time for Buffy to rescale into a younger version to restore themselves to past glory.

Both Buffy and Chunky Monkeys are three time CTDB winners so this may have been the most honored Toilet Bowl ever, great job guys!

Playoffs & TB 2017: RD2


Playoffs, RD2 - Conference Finals
#1 Dirty Birds (8-5) vs #3 Tiiite End Jammers (6-7)
Well, an upset by Jammers, Lei now looks like the strongest team left in the league, much less the conference. Can Birds fend off Jammers? 

#1 Battle Angel (9-4) vs #2 Fobsters (8-5)
Fobsters took care of business, even in “rebuilding” year, and now pose a formidable threat to top seeded Battle Angel. Let’s get it on!

Toilet Bowl, RD2 - Finals
#2 LA Buffy (5-8) vs #4 Chunky Monkeys (4-9)
Buffy snuck out a 0.1 point victory Monday night on the strength of Gostkowski and Patriots defense, shocking Fat Jubas, who thought they had it in the bag. Meanwhile, Monkeys upsets Gang Green, eliminating our #1 Toilet Bowl seed, congrats to Roger and Evan who are both headed for top picks! Now who’ll get number one!?!

Playoff Matchups: 2017

Playoffs, RD1
Fob Stars (8-5) vs Philadelphia Phreaks (7-6)
Athena Nike (8-5) vs Tiiite End Jammers (6-7)

Byes: Battle Angel (9-4), Dirty Birds (8-5)

Toilet Bowl, RD1
#1 Gang Green (6-7) vs #4 Chunky Monkeys (4-9)
#2 LA Buffy (5-8) vs #3 Fat Jubas (4-9)

*Tie-breaker: H2H, Fat Jubas defeated Chunky Monkeys WK6