The Big Bowl of China

Chunky Monkeys (9-4) versus Fobsters (7-6)
So the matchup is set, after two not so close games, it's Evan versus Jimmy. Uh oh, we've seen this storyline before. High powered Chunky Monkeys enters into the Super Bowl against a lowly third seed. Denizens of Monkeyland prepare a parade rout, cue up the dancing girls, and call the confetti company. Then the collapse. I guess the mayor of Monkeyland can just use last year's celebration plans because they sure didn't get to use them after being upended in last year's Super Bowl. If you just look at the stats, CM seems to have had another ho-hum winning year. But we can't discount the efforts they've made to recover from a pretty disastrous off-season trade and still make the Super Bowl.

This is the Fobsters first Super Bowl appearance and if they can win, they'd be like the 2009-10 Saints, coming from the depths of loserdom to make an improbabe franchise turnaround. Pundits are in a bit of disbelief that this is the team they'll be watching in the last game of the season, but true fans in Taiwan and China knew all along that they would be rooting for a Fobster team in the Super Bowl -- some day. The Fobs have an uphill battle though, as they are clearly the David in this matchup, even if the Goliath isn't as dominant as usual. Or should we say it's tiny Taiwan versus vast China?

QB: How about this for a marquee matchup? In his first year with the Monkeys franchise, Philip Rivers has elevated his game to another level and powered his new crew to the Super Bowl. GM Evan must be delighted not to have chokester Peyton Manning calling the shots, as he often disappeared in the biggest fantasy moments. Rivers is a stud who doesn't feel pressure, and threw up thirty one points to lead the Monkeys to the big game. This week he goes against a week Bengals pass defense. Fireworks!

This would all be very intimidating if Tom Brady wasn't patrolling Jimmy's sideline. Brady has been the best fantasy player down the stretch, and the only thing that can slow him down is inclement weather. Jimmy must be displeased to see a late December showdown in snowy Buffalo for a championship game, but if anyone can crank out a huge game under possibly terrible conditions, it's Tom Terrific. Edge: Even

RB: This is the shoddiest collection of running backs we've ever seen in the championship game. Oh how times have changed when having two strong RBs was the key to playoff success. In theory, Jamaal Charles has been outstandin and he's been hot enough to drive Evan's successful trip to the Super Bowl. In reality though, a guy who scores 22-14-5-21 in the last few weeks isn't that excitinig. If he has a big Super Bowl though, this reviewer will eat his words. Evan's other three RBs, Ryan Mathews, Pierre Thomas, and the corpse of LaDainian Tomlinson, all scored five points or less last week. There's a strong case to be made here for a run and shoot lineup.

The good/bad news is that the Fobsters' franchise features even worse RBs. Mike Tolbert for MVP anyone? While we have much respect for Tolbert, he's a ten point performer and that's about it. Jimmy could roll the dice with Tashard Choice or Brian Westbrook, but both can be slightly risky plays. Westbrook gets the most carries of the three, but is arguably the most volatile choice. Will Jimmy run and shoot or go two backs? This could be a key decision. Edge: Chunky Monkeys

WR: When there's no running game, there's some balls flying through the air. Am I right? Evan boasts Roddy White, Brandon Marshall, and Dwayne Bowe. Roddy is one of the best in the business, and Marshall finally had a breakout game (just in time), while Bowe escaped quadruple coverage to get some points on the board. While it's hard to say that Evan's WRs will all have a great game this weekend, two out of three should be plenty. Anquan Boldin also lurks on this roster, and there are rumors he'll get into the lineup despite scoring zero points last weekend.

On the other side of the ball, Jimmy has Calvin Johnson, Jason Witten, Mike Williams, and Santonio Holmes. Don't sleep on Witten, as he's had two straight double 20+ outings and mid-teens otherwise. He's been a star performer. Calvin is the Megatron and even if he's working with a third string QB in Detroit, he'll get his numbers. The big question here is Mike Williams, who tends to boom or bust every other week. He boomed last week with 18 points so is he doomed to disappear during the championship game? Jimmy better hope not. Edge: Even

K/Def: When it gets down to such high stakes, selecting the right kicker or defense can be huge. Evan's Patriots Defense has twelve big points last weekend and helped him seal the win. Jimmy's Packers D had a measly one point. That's a big disparity. While the two kickers, Matt Bryant and Nate Kaeding, are mostly evenly matched, the performance of the defenses could be huge. For now we go with the Patriots having a big edge as they are facing off against a terrible Buffalo Bills offense. Edge: Chunky Monkeys

Mandarin Mojo: Having attended many a Chinese school class with both of these guys, I can safely say that Jimmy's Chinese outpaces Evan's by a broad continent (he also has less morals about cheating on tests, ahem). This is our first Chinese School Bowl, and it's kind of exciting. After years of participating in fantasy leagues, often together, Jimmy and Evan find themselves face to face, just like on the playground on a Saturday morning.

If this were just a regular season game, whatever, the gods and ancestors could care less. But high stakes are here for both teams. A record tying second Super Bowl win for Evan. An unbelievable playoff run capped by a championship for Jimmy. Whose proud parents will be able to take the podium after this weekend and declare their child the victor? Which thirty year old-ish child will be berated and beaten for being inferior and not good enough (ever)? Edge: Fobsters