FlaccoGate

It started innocently enough. During WK1, a blowout was in the making as Buffy had already more than doubled the Dirty Birds' score heading into Monday night. In a move to protect his young quarterback and to secure his place on the waiver wire, GM Jon pulled Ravens' QB Joe Flacco from the lineup. Immediately, cries of foul play rang out through the league as this went against the nature of "fight for every yard." Camaraderie and the sanctity of honor among owners was forever shattered. Local media lambasted Coach Jon for his devilish move, labeling it "immature, a sin, and just downright awful."

"Sure, Flacco's eight measly points that night wouldn't have mattered but an unspoken rule was broken," said one anonymous general manager. "What that franchise did there is as bad as Spygate, and we all know how karma came back to bite the Patriots in the ass." If you recall, New England went undefeated all the way through to the Super Bowl before being upended by the helmet catch in the greatest Super Bowl upset of all time.

Well, how has karma been treating the Dirty Birds? The week after their 151-63 loss to Buffy, the Birds got steamrolled again, losing to Ante Up 116-80. Things were looking dire as starting QB Joe Flacco had put up thirteen points in two combined weeks and newly acquired running back Michael Turner sustained an injury. Facing the league's toughest schedule, it looked like the fantasy gods were going to keep the Birds from ever winning a game this season, as punishment for their audacity.

Luckily, waiver wire wonder WR Austin Collie (nabbed with that "strategic" WK1 waiver wire move) has emerged as the top non-QB scorer in the entire league. Sure it's been only three weeks but Collie has scored more points than Adrian Peterson, Chris Johnson, and almost twice as many points as his teammate, Reggie Wayne. While it's pretty doubtful Collie can keept his up, his spot on the Dirty Bird roster is secure as he fills the third WR position behind Larry Fitzgerald and Miles Austin quite nicely.

Behind Collie's 35 points, Adrian Peterson's 33 pts, and Michael Vick's 41 points, the Dirty Birds finally picked up a win this week, trouncing the Tiiite End Jammers 136 - 90. Oh right, Michael Vick, another waiver wire wonder, has vaulted to the top of the charts, ranking only behind Peyton Manning in scoring so far this young season. Given his newfound accuracy and position as the Eagles' starter, Vick could easily capture the Dirty Birds' QB position the rest of the way, keeping Flacco and Matt Ryan on the bench. Management believes the karmic payback for FlaccoGate is now over and has dedicated themselves to taking the high road the rest of the season.

One note, the Birds are still kickerless but are in negotiations with a few high profile candidates. John Carney perhaps?