Super Bowl VI

Camarillo, CA

The suspense was almost unbearable, the final score a little too close to call but at the end - the Monkeys franchise secured their first ever championship title. In a close game that didn't end until the final drive, the Monkeys finally mustered enough points to pull out a 101-93 victory over the defending champions, Fat Jubas.

After what was likely the most dominating regular season in CTDB history, the Monkeys stumbled their way into their first Super Bowl victory. During the regular season, the Monkeys averaged 131 points - almost 30 more points per game than Buffy who was second in overall league scoring. 2006 saw the Monkeys break a number of records including:

1) Highest average score per game
2) Most points scored in a game
3) Highest winning percentage
4) Most high week scores
5) Most points scored in a season

Monkey co-captain, LaDainian Tomlinson, had a season for the ages with 31 touchdowns through 16 weeks and finished with an amazing 431 points through 16 weeks. The next closest was teammate, Peyton Manning, at 376 points.

However, this playoffs was a little different. The Monkeys’ final tally of 101 points was their second lowest all season. LT, for the first time in ten weeks, didn’t score at least 28 points. Monkeys’ receivers Owens, Boldin and Johnson combined for only one touchdown (on a broken play no less) and 23 total points. After a season which saw the Monkeys win by an average score of 30 points per game, the Monkeys seemed to back into this win. The Jubas left over 100 points on the bench with Vince Young and Marc Bulger combining for nearly 80 points.

After Laveraneus Coles was shut down on the final drive in the last game of Week 16, the Monkeys finally were able to pull out their championship shirts and caps. In their post game conference, Tomlinson summed up his emotions - "It feels ridiculously awesome. As good as we were all season, this was a much more difficult playoffs battle than any of us ever imagined. We didn't play our best ball, I didn't get in the endzone but guys find a way to pull it out. After 5 years of early exits, this win is the one that I will cherish. Our team deserves this – this is our trophy."

Monkeys GM, Evan Shiue, spoke to reporters after the victory. "Would we have liked to cruise through this game like we did the rest of the season? Sure. But that's why we play the game. The Jubas played a great game. I need to remember to give Eric a call to thank him for playing Brett this week. But I will not take anything away from this franchise. We are without a doubt, one of the most consistent and top performing franchises in CTDB history. All we were missing was that ring and now we have that. Our front office has done a great job in the draft and our current roster proves that. Our season proves it and now, our championship title proves it."

ESPN Analyst, Chris Berman, was clear in his thoughts about the Monkeys' win. "This championship win secures the Monkeys' place in the elite tier of league teams. This team has year after year put together great teams with great players. The current roster is probably arguably the best roster of all time and the cumulative talent assembled here will difficult to match. The records broken this year are incredible in retrospect. The win was fitting. We are finally crowning a team that absolutely dominated the league – 2006 will always be known as the year of the Monkeys."

Chunky Soup?

With an edge at nearly every position, the Monkeys are looking at their best chance to capture that elusive first championship. Last year, these two teams met in the Super Bowl and the Fat Jubas walked away with a 24-point upset victory. The automated matchup on our website predicts a 34-point win for the Monkeys this year but should the Jubas pull off an improbable upset again, it would qualify as the greatest upset of all time. Bigger than Patriots vs Rams, bigger than Pistons vs Lakers, bigger than Douglas vs Tyson...

The Monkeys have lost only one game all season and might have been undefeated but for an (unfortunate) explosion by Buffy mid-season. Everything that the Monkeys have been building up to -- for five years -- has come to this point. This is the best team that time can buy. The best QB in the game, the top two RBs, three quality WRs. There are no holes here. The Monkeys have traditionally failed in the playoffs due to their lack of a solid third receiver and the annual late season blip by Manning and Tomlinson. This year however, the Chargers and the Colts are engaged in a race for AFC homefield advantage, so neither team will sit its stars in this most crucial of weeks.

The defending champion Fat Jubas head into Super Bowl VI with a team that is a bit of a patchwork squad on paper but strong on the field. Make no mistake, the Jubas deserve to be here. They've used savvy trades and waiver wire pickups to build upon last season's success. They managed to win their division -- for the third time -- without the services of last year's MVP, Shaun Alexander, for most of the season. Now Shaun's back and he's ready to find the end zone a few times.

This is the first time that two number one seeds have faced off in the playoffs. This will truly be a battle of the titans -- despite the Monkeys averaging 38 more points per week during the regular season than the Jubas. This prognosticator thinks it'll come down to the quarterbacks. LDT and LJ will get theirs, we expect Gore and Alexander to have good games, and the wide receivers should mostly cancel each other out (although it'll be tough for Coles to match last week's career numbers).

The difference between an easy victory and a tight finish might be Peyton versus whoever ends up starting for the Jubas. Will it be old man Brett Favre? Or will it be Vince "Forever" Young? Even Marc "Big" Bulger has a chance to start. We don't envy the decision Eric will have to make behind this three-headed monster.

Speaking of Peyton Manning, this is his game to win -- or lose. If he can't prove his mettle in this biggest of pressure cookers, then the Manning era may be over in Chunky-land. Nobody represents the face of the Monkeys more than the infamous look Peyton wears after he gets upset (each year) in the playoffs. Can that face be one of victory and delight this winter? We'll see.

So, can Evan finally get the monkey off his back? Can years of regular season success and an enviable roster finally add up to a championship? If they win, we forsee a name change for the Chunkies; but let's not get ahead of ourselves, let's just get ready for what will no doubt be a historic and memorable weekend. Super Bowl VI: The Revenge?

Note: In an effort to curry favor with his fan base, Evan scooped up Chargers Defense again after a one week break. Good karma move.

Ambulances are standing by should the Monkeys lose...

De-Buffed

Chunky Monkeys (128) vs Buffy (70)

There was a palpable sigh of relief from Monkey management Monday night - the team had finally beat long-time divisional rival, Buffy. Despite being the odds on favorite for this matchup after what has largely been considered the greatest regular season of all time, the Monkeys were nervous about the match up.

Entering the playoffs, Buffy was the only team to hang a loss on the Monkeys in the regular season. Despite the Monkeys scoring 149 in week 6, Buffy surmised almost superhuman abilities to run their score to 163 and handed the Monkeys their only (and likely the highest scoring) loss during the regular season. Despite averaging a pedestrian 103 pts per week during the regular season, Buffy had shown the most explosiveness as does the typical run n gun Buffy team does. With scoring outbursts of 163 (6), 149 (10) and 140 (Wild Card game) - Buffy had the weapons to displace the juggernaut also known as the Monkeys.

Even more serious was Buffy's franchise record in the playoffs - this was the FIRST ever playoff loss for the franchise since the inception of the league. Buffy, the only two time league champion, has only made the playoff twice before this year and won both times. As such, the Monkeys' confidence was noticeably more muted this week during practice.

But thats why they play the game. The Monkeys played a typical Monkeys game which featured 3-4 offensive explosions - this time led by team captains, Peyton Manning (39) and Ladainian Tomlinson (32). Manning and Tomlinson are the only two current members on the team that were part of the initial draft class in 2001. Despite unexpected slow games by Larry Johnson and Quan Boldin, the Monkeys almost matched their regular season average of 135 points.

Buffy suffered offensive letdowns from a traditionally strong passing game. While Willie Parker and Ladell Betts (who?) combined for 35, Carson Palmer, Torry Big Game Holt, Terry Glenn and Marty Booker combined for only 25. The team only managed 70 total points.

ESPN's Chris Mortensen - "The Monkeys had Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods on the same team this week. Tomlinson and Manning were ridiculous. With so much talent on the offensive front, this team seems like they had a breakout week. It remains to be seen whether the Monkeys can shake the superbowl ghosts of years past next week at the big game."

Double Down?

Fat Jubas (124) vs Philadelphia Phreaks (66)

The Jubas are already making history. No team has had a better shot of repeating as champions. Eric's team powered its way through the regular season -- avoiding the first to worst curse -- and upended the Phreaks for a chance to go to the Super Bowl and possibly, dare we say it, repeat as CTDB Champions.

Buffy has won two rings already, but not two in a row. Could this lone Spunky Misunderstood Genius do what so many Inscrutable Drama Kings could not? Guess we'll find out.

The Phreaks have been in a state of collapse ever since franchise player Donovan McNabb went down to injury. Is it safe to say that McNabb is unclutch now? I mean, he's fabulous but his injury issues seem to doom the Phreaks each and every year.

Donovan's replacement, Jeff Garcia, put up a respectable 16 points but his primary WR, Donte Stallworth, notched a big fat zero. Nobody else on the team stepped up either. Julius Jones had 2 pts, Roy Williams had 1 pt, and only future star Maurice Jones-Drew rumbled for 20 points. As of Monday Night, TJ Houshmanzilli had yet to play, but it's safe to say that he's not scoring 50+ for the miracle win.

What can the Phreaks do? You can't lose your number one QB (Donovan) and your number one RB (Clinton Portis) and expect to win, can you?

The Jubas rode Frank Gore (25) and Laveranues Coles (26) to an easy semi-final win. They'll likely face Chunky in the Super Bowl and guess who were the primary names in that mid-season trade between Chunky and Jubas -- Gore and Coles. After handing Eric a championship last year with the trade of Shaun Alexander, could Evan beat himself again when Gore and Coles take over the game next weekend?

Oh man, that would be ugly. Even worse if Shaun himself comes back for a huge game next week (along with Gore) to defeat LDT and LJ, denying Evan his first championship. By the way, give it up for Patriots Defense -- four interceptions, four sacks, and one long ass touchdown.

Side Note: Both of these franchises have changed names in the recent past. The Jubas used to be known as the Flaming Shrapnel and the Phreaks used to be TAGHeuer. Just an interesting tidbit.

Divisional 2004 Rematch

Los Angeles, CA --
This weekend marks the Inscrutable Drama Kings Divisional Championship. It is also a rematch of the IDK DC from 2004. Once again, team Buffy will be taking on the Chunky Monkeys. In what has been the greatest season ever put together by a fantasy team, Monkeys are the clear favorites to win this match-up. The same thing was said of the Monkeys’ ’04 team as well. Following their bye week after posting a 12-1 regular season record, the Monkeys are ready to take on the winner of the wild-card game, Buffy. With a 7-5-1 regular season record, Buffy gave Tiiite End Jammers a 140-71 shellacking, for the dubious honor of taking on the Monkeys in the Divisional Championship game.

In 2004, the Monkeys boasted a lineup of Peyton Manning, LaDainian Tomlinson, Shaun Alexander, Darrell Jackson, TJ Houshmandzadeh, Chris Chambers, and Andre Johnson. Buffy countered with Brian Griese, Corey Dillon, Michael Pittman, Torry Holt, Isaac Bruce, Joe Horn, and Michael Clayton. Buffy was somehow victorious in the match-up, and now, two years later, the Monkeys team has been heavily upgraded and Buffy, well, they have a full roster of players.

Here’s a look at this weekend’s game:

QB
Arguably the best fantasy quarterback in league history, Peyton Manning has not been as spectacular lately, but is still a model of consistency, averaging close to 24 points each week. Carson Palmer on the other hand is not far behind. After a slow start to the season, he has exploded in the last weeks to help propel Buffy to contention. The Monkeys/Buffy game might just be decided on Monday night when Manning and Palmer face each other. EDGE: Monkeys

RB
On paper, LaDainian Tomlinson and Larry Johnson versus Willie Parker and most likely Ladell Betts is a joke. FWP has had a great season and Betts is coming to his own, but seriously, it’s LT and LJ! The same two backs that each put up 42 points Week 8. Can FWP and Betts score a few TDs to keep pace? They scored for 26 and 19 this past weekend, but that’s not going to be good enough. EDGE: Monkeys

WR
For the first time in CTDB history, the Monkeys boast a wide receiver core worth mentioning. Terrell Owens, Andre Johnson, and Anquan Boldin, are in the top 20 in scoring for WRs; TO and AJ are in the top 8. Not too shabby. While Buffy counters with franchise player Torry “Big Game” Holt, Terry Glenn, and possibly Derrick Mason this weekend. Joe Horn will play if available. As explosive as Buffy’s WRs can be, they have not shown the consistency as the Monkeys’ core has over the course of the season. Although known throughout the years as a fielding the greatest aerial attack ever, Buffy looks like they are flying a bit low this year. EDGE: Monkeys

K
Buffy has ridden the leg of last year’s top kicker Neil Rackers all season long and has wanted to make a change, but decided to stick by his draft choice. He has pulled a last minute “Bill Parcells” move and replaced him with Josh Scobee. This move may hurt team chemistry, but it seems that a change was necessary. The Monkeys’ Nate Kaeding has been one of the most consistent kickers this year. EDGE: Monkeys

DEF/ST
Usually we don’t bother rating DEF/ST, but in this case, Buffy has da Bears D, which is the best defense unit out there. The Bears D single-handedly defeated the Monkeys in their second meeting this year putting up 23 points. And after posting 29 points in week 13, there is no doubt Buffy’s D is extremely explosive. The Monkeys’ have made a last minute change and are going with the Jaguars D. Releasing hometown Chargers D must have been heartbreaking, but it seems as though Monkeys GM Evan Shiue needed to make a change to help put the best possible team out there. EDGE: Buffy

MOJO
With the highest scoring team in league history, the best regular season record in league history, with most weekly high scores, it seems pretty obvious the Monkeys will be going to the big game. It is almost impossible to put together a better roster. However, Buffy is a two-time CTDB Champion. Buffy likes playing the role of underdog, and they have been riding a 5-game winning streak. Will the week off hurt the Monkeys team? Is Buffy in fact once again the true team of destiny?

Monkeys by 30.

All In with Ante Up

Recap 2006:
Ante Up started off this season very strong with three straight wins. They had a 5-pt win over Buffy in WK1, a 55-pt drubbing of Fobsters in WK2, and then a 27-pt blow out over Dirty Birds in WK3.

Of course, this fast start was negated by a four game losing streak, which was only stopped by acquiring another win against Buffy in WK8. Sitting at 0.500, Ante Up needed to step up it up. But an up-and-down next five games (three wins and two losses) put the pressure on them in WK13.

In that last game of the season, Ante Up won a close one against the [Donovan-less] Phreaks, 83-81. Corey Dillon had a season high 20 points but indicative of the season, starting QB Rex Grossman ended up with -5 points, while Trent Green sat on the bench with 34 pts.

The Jammers also won a close last game however, 99-93 versus the Green Team, to advance over Ante Up to the playoffs. Despite similar records, the Jammers had a Points Scored advantage on the season (after 1-1 head-to-head record) and sent Ante Up packing for the winter.

Roster 2006:
So, Ante Up finished with a winning 7-6 record but got locked out of the playoffs. The big reason for their wild season? Let's point the finger at QB Trent Green, who was injured early and didn't return in time to help the team out. Replacement QB Rex Grossman was on fire during the first half of the season, but by the time he got into Ante Up's lineup, he had cooled off (understatement) and finished accruing only 40 points for the team -- including two weeks with negative scores. The other backup QB, Daunte Culpepper, was a worthy pre-season gamble, but has fallen far from his glory days.

Another player that doomed Ante Up's playoff chances? The rock of the franchise, running back Edgerrin James. The move to Arizona cost James his fantasy stud status. He could barely push over 9 points per game and was sitting on the bench by the end of the season.

To replace him, Ante Up had to use old workhorse Corey Dillon, who wasn't too much better overall. The bright spot here was Brian Westbrook, this season's Ante Up MVP. Westbrook averaged 18 points a contest (221 total), was the fourth best running back in the league, the tenth best player overall and had multiple explosive games this year (two 30+ games, four 20+ games).

The three main WRs were pretty damn good actually. Reggie Wayne finished as the second best WR around (14.75 avg) and Donald Driver was ranked tenth (13 avg). Chris Chambers didn't exactly break out as planned, but he was fine as a third receiver.

Worth mentioning is that the Ravens D was the second best defense around and averaged almost as many points as Reggie Wayne (14.3 avg).

So really, not a bad team overall. A top RB, two great WRs, and an amazing D. But that hole at QB really hurt the team, as did the total collapse by Edgerrin James. But the future is bright for Ante Up as the potential keeper core looks pretty solid.

Historical Record
Ante Up has had three 5-8 seasons, with two of those coming in our first two years of existence. After that however, Ante Up has reached the divisional finals twice, despite never quite making it into the Super Bowl. They were the best team in the league in 2005 and not every team has that on their resume.

This team -- when they're not 5-8 -- is just gunning for that ring, coming tantalizingly close a few times but never quite reaching it. They, along with the Monkeys, are the only two teams left in their division without a championship (ironically, they are the two teams who met in Super Bowl 0).

Core Roster
When I think of Ante Up, I think of a strong running game and a great defense. The defining player from this team is actually the Buccaneers Defense. Although they were only technically on the team for three years (2001, 2002, 2004), they were always crazy dominant and often led Ante Up to victory after victory. Even during the years when the Buc D ended up on other teams, Ante Up took strong defenses like Miami (2003), Pittsburgh (2005), and Baltimore (2006) to support their offense. Defense wins championships, well, almost.

Their first ever pick, RB Edgerrin James, has served solidly through thick and thin. Nobody can doubt Edge's skills and he's the only original player left from 2001. The other player that I always associate with Ante Up is Fred Taylor. I thought he was an original Ante Upper, but he actually came on board the next year, in 2002. Aside from that feared combination, backs like Jerome Bettis, Warrick Dunn (2001), and most recently, Brian Westbrook (drafted in 2005) have displayed their skills with this team.

For a long time, Derrick Mason (original draft pick, 2001) was the leader in the WR department. He was joined by Laveranues Coles and Reggie Wayne the following year and since then, Wayne has clearly emerged as a worthy number-one wide receiver. Ante Up has always lacked a traditional superstar receiver however, since Wayne is still the second banana on the Colts.

Jeff Garcia and Trent Green have been the only two men to qualify as franchise quarterbacks on this team. Garcia in his heyday was a monster. And Trent Green has been an underrated fantasy player his whole career. Journeymen like Jake Plummer and Jake Delhomme -- yes, The Two Jakes -- have stepped into the breach at times, but mostly it's been the Trent Green show since he took over the full time reins from Garcia in 2003.

A pounding running game, a dominant defense, and one stud receiver. Sounds like a Steelers team doesn't it? Maybe Ante Up need some magical rookie mojo, like the one Big Ben gave to Pittsburgh in 2005, to push them toward that elusive championship.

Season Breakdowns
2006: 7-6; Edged out of the playoffs despite a winning record.
2005: 10-3; Best record in the league and had a seven game win streak to close out the season. Upset by the Monkeys (103-89) in the divisional finals.
2004: 5-8; Finished in last place, but was only one win away from a playoff spot.
2003: 8-7; Upset the Monkeys (124-108) in the first round, but then lost to eventual champion Jammers (92-122) in the the divisional finals.
2002: 5-8; After starting out 5-3, they lost the last five games of the season to sink to second-to-last place in the division.
2001: 5-8; Finished in last place after losing the final two games of the season.

Stats
Highest Avg Game Score, Season: 102.23 (2005)
Most Points Scored, Game: 140 (2004)
Least Points Scored, Game: 51 (2003)
Best Margin of Victory, Game: 71 (2003)
Worst Margin of Defeat, Game: -63 (2002)
Longest Winning Streak, Season: 7 (2005)
Longest Losing Streak, Season: 5 (2002)

Playoffs 2006 - Round I

Well, the bye weeks weren't hard to figure out. The Monkeys had that locked up about 4 weeks ago and enters their first week bye with a record breaking 12-1 record in the regular season. The (defending champion) Jubas on the other hand lived off their nine game win streak and enters the playoffs with a commanding two game lead despite dropping the last two. So lets talk about the real matchups!

Inscrutable Drama Kings Division

Tiiite End Jammers (7-6) at Buffy (7-5-1)

Buffy revived their season entering the first week on the heels of a four game win streak. Just four weeks ago, Buffy was 4.5 games out of first and 1.5 games out of playoff contention. But the revival of Carson Palmer has enabled Buffy to rally into the second seed. A key stat here is that Buffy has won the championship ring ever year the team has made the playoffs. For the Jammers, this is their first foray in the playoffs since their triumphant appearance in the 2003 CTDB Championships. As they say, never underestimate the regular season. The Jammers took care of business and won their last game and despite being in a virtual tie in terms of overall standings and head-to-head record, the Jammers outscored Ante Up by nearly 100 points which means they, and not Ante Up, will still be playing in December. New blood has been the key for the Jammers. With the re-emergence of Vick, the explosion of rookie Addai and the solid play of what is probably the most underrated recieving core of Harrison, Jackson and Javon Walker. The team isn't extremely deep here with Fargas, Sammy Morris, Leon Washington and Deion Branch riding the pine but the starters are definitely capable.

Prediction: This will go to the team that wants it more. Buffy has the hotter streak but we can see an upset happening here. Jammers by 5.

Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses Division

Battle Angels (6-7) at Philadelphia Phreaks (7-6)

You know its a good year when you finish the regular season under .500 and still make the playoffs. The stars are aligned. You lose your last game but your divisional rivals goes and loses 6 in a row and right out of playoff contention. Go back to Week 7. Green Team was sitting pretty in second, one game back of the Phreaks with a 5-2 record. A six game slide helps no one. The moral of the story? Battle Angels in at 6-7. Now, this doesn't mean the Angels don't have a shot.

Any team with Drew Brees and Steve Smith could easily have a 60 point base on any given week. The question is what can Maroney, Ahman, Reggie Brown and Galloway do in the playoffs? On the flip side the Phreaks are reeling from the loss of #5 - McNabb. He's actually still the QB. Its unclear whether GM Shen is doin this for morale reasons or if he is just taunting Vu and the Angels. But the Phreaks were the leaders in the SMG for a good part of the season - and for good reason.

With a healthy Donte Stallworth, an emerging Roy WIlliams and a solid TJ Houshmandzadeh. The loss of CP and the emergence of Marion Barber over Julius Jones has hurt the Phreaks but M. Jones Drew and Kevin Jones are no slouches.

Prediction: With McNabb = Angels by 10, With a McNabb sub = Phreaks by 10.

Frank the First

Despite what appears to be a meaningless matchup between divisional leaders the Chunky Monkeys and the Fat Jubas (besides bragging rights), there is one interesting stat at stake.

In one of the last clauses from this year's blockbuster trade involving Gore and Boldin, the trade stipulated that if Gore was to finish in the top five of all running backs during the regular season, the Monkeys would then have the rights to the Jubas' first round pick instead of their second round pick.

Entering this week, Gore was only one point behind Willie Parker. So if Gore simply outperforms Parker, the Monkeys will move up another round.

According to GM Shiue, "Look, we are going to try our best to beat the Jubas' brains out. That should not be a question. They are the best team in the other division and we may potentially see them later on. I want our team to literally break their spirits going into the playoffs. But as an objective fan of the league, Franky G is a great back and was a great teammate when he was here with us. I will of course be rooting for him. That first round pick would also help too but thats for another year."

Ocho-Oucho

All that stands between the Fobsters and immortality is...the Dirty Birds. The Fobsters can complete an un-winning season by losing this week to the Birds -- who, at 3-8-1, is 29.2% better than the Fobsters in the win column. Having already set a record for far and away the worst losing streak ever (12 games and counting), the Fobsters are still talking tough and hoping to pull out a victory here. It's going to be an uphill battle both ways however.

How bad have the Fobsters been? Consider that they average 74.5 points per game, almost a dozen points below their next closest competitor. The league leading Chunky Monkeys average 135 points per game. See the difference? Granted, the Fobsters have faced far and away the toughest schedule in the league (opponents average 113 points), but there must be some blame placed at their feet. Not even one win? How is that possible?!

Blame the so called "stars" of the team. Chad Johnson may average almost 15 points a game this season but to be quite honest, before his 45 and 41 point explosions in WK 10 and 11, he was hardly the stuff that legends were made of. But we'll give Cinco Cinco a pass as he's still this team's vocal and on-field leader. What about leading RB Tiki Barber? He's been steady, but not every explosive (only 1 TD this year) and he's leaving after the season to pursue a career in...well, who knows? The other RB spot has been tossed around by NO teammates Deuce McAllister and Reggie Bush. Bush has been a bust, straight up, but his tantalizing talent has made Jimmy start him a few times over the far more productive Deuce. Whoops. I guess next year could be more of the same. Decisions, decisions.

And let's talk about terrible decisions by Jimmy. QB Matt Hasselbeck has been in the starting lineup for the past few weeks. Isn't Seneca Wallace the Seahawks QB? Why, yes he is! Bigger whoops! In fact, the best player on this team, Philip Rivers, was just acquired a few weeks ago off the waiver wire and hasn't started a game for the Fobsters -- despite Hasselbeck being hurt. The rest of this team hasn't fared well either.

Todd Heap has been pretty steady, but better off as a third receiver, not as your second. Keyshawn has disappeared, especially now that the Steve Smith experience has returned to Carolina. At least young WR Chris Heny has logged a few explosive games, but his inconsistency has kept him firmly planted on Jimmy's bench for most of the season. And last and definitely worst, Cadillac Williams has proved that even a young Caddy can lose a few wheels. 3 TDs on the year, 697 yards, 3.8 yards per carry. The Caddy needs a new nickname -- the Hyundai perhaps?

Such a talented group of players have gelled this year to produce a historic record. The Fobsters have eclipsed the century mark only twice, in a WK 6 loss to the Phreaks (121-101) and another loss to Buffy in WK 10 (149-109).

The closest they ever came to victory this season? Week 11, where they "only" lost by 15 to the Fat Jubas. The worst beatdown they took? Green Team annihilating them by 93 points in WK 4 (145-52), in what was surely a sign of things to come. Records are being made here gentlemen, and not of the good kind.

So can they do it? Can they finish the season totally defeated? Who will they go with? Matt Hasselbeck (returned from injury) or Philip Rivers? Can Chad Johnson put up another 40+ points in a losing effort? Do the Fobsters even have a future in this league? We will see come Sunday: Battle of the Worst!

Game of the Week

As we enter the heart of the second half of the 2006 CTDB season, the nooses on the playoff races across the league are definitely tightening as teams vie for a slot in this years playoffs. While the Monkeys have all but wrapped up a first week bye in the IDK division, things are no where near as clear in the SMG division. For the first half of the season, Ping's Philadelphia Phreaks had a stranglehold on first place. However, a ridiculous 7 game win streak by the Jubas (including an important divisional win over the Phreaks last week) finally put the Jubas in the driver's seat. This weeks schedule features a Monday Night Primetime matchup between the Green Team and Philadelphia Phreaks that could have huge playoff ramifications. Both teams are looking to snap a two game losing streak and more importantly, both are looking to secure their slot in this year's playoffs.

QUARTERBACK: As much as ESPN loves anyone named Manning, there is no contest here. Donovan McNabb, despite a terrible Week 8 performance and this week's bye, remains the best fantasy player this year. Donnie, as he is known throughout the Phreaks organization, is tied for the league lead for all quarterbacks with 19 combined touchdowns. With more passing yards than Peyton Manning and 33 times more rushing yards, there is no doubt McNabb is a frontrunner for this year's MVP award. The Phreaks have thrived off of McNabb's success and he is clearly carrying the team. On the flipside, Green Team's Eli Manning has averaged a solid 20 points per week this year. But has scored only 3 more points than Jon Kitna who is currently unemployed in our league. ADVANTAGE: PHREAKS

RUNNINGBACK: The key here is depth. The Phreaks have it while Green Team does not. GT is led by the very serviceable Ronnie Brown but relies on Jamal "Big House" Lewis as his running partner. Lewis has been bothered by injury all year and has been a disappointment (Mr. Lewis is currently being outscored by Reggie Bush who I thought was an even bigger bust at the time of me writing this article). For the Phreaks, its all about depth. GM Shen has four running backs on his roster currently rated as a top 20 back or higher. The group is led by the surprising Kevin Jones (who is outscoring the likes of FWP and Tiki Bear), Clinton Portis, Julius Jones and Maurice-Jones-David-Edward-Jonathan-Drew-Evan. The question for Shen has always been which running back to start - while Kevin Jones has entrenched himself as a every-week start, CP and Julius Jones have been rotated in and out of the lineup this year. We'd like to see CP if healthy. ADVANTAGE: PHREAKS

RECEIVERS: If you asked me last week who I liked here, it was likely I would've said GT here. Despite the explosive lineup of Roy Williams, TJ Whosyourmama, and Donte Stallworth, Green Team had an equally solid lineup in super sleeper Bernard Berrian, solid-Joe Hines Ward and mutant TE/WR Antonio Gates. However, Green Team representatives announced earlier today that Berrian is likely to be out 2-4 weeks following a rib injury. With Santana Moss injured, Green Team will likely look to Jerricho Cotchery - who is just as likely to go for 20 yards on 4 catches as he is 100 yards and 2 touches. Things are looking better for the Phreaks. Roy Williams has evolved into super stud while TJ has become a legitimate end zone target this season. McNabb's favorite target, Donte Stallworth, has been hurt but is expected to be back at full speed this week. We expect plenty of fireworks here. ADVANTAGE: PHREAKS

DEFENSE / KICKER: I hate rating these positions as they are a total waste of fantasy brain cells. Robbie Gould is the probably the biggest surprise if not for some dude called Colston this year but Wilkins isn't so shabby either. Eagles have a huge matchup against the Skins this week while the Falcons face off against a somewhat resurgent Browns team. I'm not sure what to say otherwise. ADVANTAGE: TIE

PREDICTION: Phreaks (121) over the Green Team (114)

Expert Analysis: According to Yahoo! fantasy expert, Brandon Funston - "This is a huge matchup and will go a long way in determining which team wants this year's playoffs more. I expect the Phreaks to come out firing here as this will be the first week in a long time where the starters will play together. The Phreaks have quietly had the second best offensive season this year and are definitely a team to watch. If the Phreaks come to play as they expect to do, Green Team may simply be overmatched."

Brady to Retire

After collecting 11 TDs and throwing for close to 900 yards during yesterday's Monday Night matchup with Minnesota, Tom Brady announced in the locker room afterwards that he was retiring. "After today's record-breaking win and historic comeback victory against the Chunky Monkeys, I don't feel like I have anything left to prove. Three championship rings, a storied career, and a hot babe on my arm. Actually, speaking of arms, Doc tells me that I'm gonna have to amputate the throwing one after tonight's efforts. Oh well. I'm sure whoever my backup is will do a fine job of leading the 2-5-1 Dirty Birds to the top draft pick, I'm not worried about my future or the future of my (fantasy) team."

It may have been too modest of Brady to call his Herculean efforts merely "historic." How about legendary? Awe inspiring? Stunning? Call it the greatest sports related feat since Wilt's 100 point game. This wasn't just a comeback either, it was the "Miracle on Turf." A mere 20 or so hours after the Chunky Monkeys reveled in setting the new league record for a single game (178), they were upended and dumped on their rear ends in the waning moments of WK 8 -- yes, they were Buccaneered.

Brady started off the night kind of slowly with an interception...that he made. Brady had been pressed into service as a quarter-back, after the Patriots couldn't find enough CBs after their nickel and dime packages were spent. "That's right, we spent a quarter to get five cents -- but it worked didn't it?" Brady then immediately reeled off a barrage of three TDs before sitting down at the 11:54 mark of the first quarter. "I didn't want to blow out the other team, that's just unclassy." But then Brady was alerted that the Birds needed some more points to win this week and he decided to take the field anew. In fact, he decided to become Tony Stark, the Iron Man, by inserting himself for offensive and defensive series, as well as one special teams play.

That lone special teams play -- a 37 yard kickoff return for a touchdown -- was actually sort of an aberration. Brady was on the sidelines trying to get his photo taken by a reporter but the poorly aimed onsides kick by Minnesota kicker Ryan Longwell swung wide right and towards the sideline. Since Brady was already on the field (helmet-less) posing for his GQ cover as the ball sailed near him, he just...well let him tell it. "I just reached up and grabbed it, thinking that a production assistant was tossing me the ball to take a picture with. Then I just ran it back and did the Deion-dance thinking it would make for a good spread. I didn't even notice Longwell trying to tackle me near the end zone, he was so little and weightless."

By the end of the 3rd quarter, Brady had racked up 7 throwing TDs, 1 rushing TD (for fun), 1 kickoff return TD, 2 interceptions, and 3 sacks. Still, needing nearly twenty more points for the win, Brady made a decision to "go for it." In a move that is common for the playgrounds and in middle school, but had never before been tried in a NFL game, Brady played all time quarterback. That's right, he replaced Brad Johnson as Vikings QB for the fourth quarter and started chucking the pigskin to both sides.

With his new multi-team eligibility, every pass he put up there was positive points. The Viking and Patriot players would just line up near the goal line, and Brady would throw it up from the opposite goal-line, and call "Three Fly's Up!" Whoever caught the ball (Viking or Patriot) would then run it back for an easy, yet exhilirating, 90-yard touchdown. This continued for about ten minutes of game time before new NFL commissioner Roger Goodell called in to put a stop to this tactic that barely concealed Brady's desire to win for a fantasy team.

The Birds were still a few points shy of victory so to insure a win for them, Brady went back to the Patriots sideline, slapped on Adam Vinatieri's memorial helmet (looks like the real thing, but wholly unfunctional, more of a ceremonial item) and went off to try a 64-yard field goal. "If that Matt Bryant can hit a 62 after never kicking a 50, I can surely break the record." And Brady did it too, securing the win for the Birds after accumulating 111 points for the day.

So, in an insane, improbable turn of events, Tom Brady, Michigan alum and surefire Hall of Famer, will walk off into the sunset after securing both a win against a hated division rival, and the greatest individual game and team game for our league. Good bye Tom, it's been a great year -- and career. Thanks for playing. We love you man.

That thump heard in the Far East was Evan's body hitting the floor as he lost yet another high powered shootout. The Monkeys will now be changing their name to "The Eagles."

Record Breakers

Hong Kong, China - October 29, 2006

CTDB 2006 has been a wild ride for the Monkeys. GM Shiue said at the beginning of the season that this would be the year that we would see the team truly play its best football – and so far, he’s been right. As the Monkey’s cruised to another victor over the struggling Dirty Birds, the team is making history while they are at it. The team broke the cherished CTDB Points Scored in a Single Game record originally set by the Phreaks in 2004 by scoring 178 points in Week 8.

While featuring the likes of Donovan McNabb, Brian Westbrook, Javon Walker, and Julius Jones – the Phreaks scored an unprecedented 174 in 2004. The record stood for over two years and was never really threatened until Buffy scored over 160 two weeks ago. Until now – backed by a stunning 121 points scored between Peyton Manning, Larry Johnson and LaDainian Tomlinson alone, the Monkeys made history as they won their 7th game this season by scoring 178 points. Despite the press surrounding today’s achievement, the Monkeys are actually in the midst of another record breaking stretch – the team has scored a total of 149, 153 and 178 in the last three weeks for a total of 480 points since Week 6. The league has never seen a dominating offensive streak like this before.

In a post-game interview, GM Shiue tried to downplay the team’s accomplishments. “The goals of this team have always been the same – win home-field advantage in the playoffs and win the Super Bowl. We are well on our way to our first objective but until we get the second one, none of this matters frankly. The team is of course, very proud of today’s accomplishment. The record set by Phreaks was a high bar and it took a couple of seasons for us to reach it. Its something we cherish and hope will stand for a long time. However, we need to continue working hard and putting points up on the board. We’re very fortunate to have one of the most talented and explosives lineup and its up to us to make it count.”

ESPN Analyst, John Clayton made little effort to hide his praise for the team. “Hands down this is the best team in CTDB history but until they win that ring, this team will be just like the Bills. However, the ability and the explosiveness of this Monkey’s team is frankly just not in the same league as the rest of the teams. Larry Johnson and LaDainian Tomlinson easily represent the best 2 running tandem this league has ever witnessed. Peyton Manning has been and remains one of the most dangerous quarterbacks and with the acquisition of Anquan Bolding, the trio of Bolding, Terrell Owens and Andre Johnson gives the Monkeys a receiver set that now really has no weakness. The offensive explosion we’ve seen this year should not be a surprise. GM Shiue had a plan for the team and they are simply executing that plan better than the rest of the league. Now they just need to win that league title.”

Crazy Town

It's a crazy year so far; I've never seen such a disparity in the quality of teams (and the gap in standings) in our league. We have five teams coming off wins and five teams coming off losses this week -- duh. But, did you know that we have four teams with winning streaks of three or more, and four teams with losing streaks of four or more. That's insane!

The only teams who are coming off of one win or one loss are Chunky Monkeys (who reeled off five straight wins before an incredulous loss in WK6) and the Tiiite End Jammers (who just lost one this past week).

In the Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses Division, the playoff teams are already sewn up -- barring a historic comeback. The Phreaks are leading the division at 6-1, with five straight victories, while two 5-2 teams (Green Team and Fat Jubas) are coming off of multiple win streaks of their own. The teams that are already looking forward to next season, Battle Angels and Fobsters, have lost five and seven games in a row respectively. The Battle Angels are 2-5 and the Fobsters are 0-7.

Yes, the Fobsters have yet to win a game. Even the Raiders have won a game... And this is a team with Matt Hasselbeck, Tiki Barber, Duce McAllister, Reggie Bush, and Chad Johnson on the roster. Not too shabby sounding on paper eh? But the closest the Fobsters have come to a victory has been in WK6, which featured a 101-121 loss to the Phreaks. So unless the Phreaks, Green Team, or the Fat Jubas collapse and the Battle Angels go on an unbelievable run, the playoff teams for this division is already decided.

In the Inscrutable Drama Kings Division, the Chunky Monkeys are off to the races, even though their potential undefeated season was ruined by a 149-163 loss to division rival Buffy last weekend. With that win and another this week, Buffy (3-3-1) is on a three game winning streak and looking to solidy their position in the playoffs. The two 3-4 teams behind Buffy fighting it out for another playoff spot are heading in different directions. After three quick wins to start the season, Ante Up has lost four in a row and don't show any signs of rebounding. The Tiiite End Jammers have had an up and down season but they are still clearly in the running for a coveted playoff spot. The 1-5-1 Dirty Birds (on a five loss streak) are clearly only competing for pride and a high draft pick next year.

Is it parity in Catch the Damn Ball? Or is it despar-ity?

Power Rankings!

Shanghai, China - October 25, 2006

A look at the teams best (and worst entering the second half of the season). Lets start with the bottom shall we?

1. Fobsters (0-7-0) – Rookie GM, Jimmy Wu, has struggled mightily in his initial season. With Art Shell leading his Raiders to a win, its safe to say that the Fobsters are in a class by themselves. Lets just say this class likely takes a different bus to school than the other kids. The Fobsters are loaded with talent in the backfield, but just cannot put together a win. With Chad Johnson struggling to work on his endzone celebration having only scored one TD all year, Tiki Bear announcing his retirement, Hasselbeck suffering a likely more-serious-than-ESPN-is-reporting injury – the team continues to be in disarray. The natives are restless and rumors are whirling regarding management and changes that will likely to be made.

2. Dirty Birds (1-5-1) – Veteran GM, Jon Yang, has struggled mightily in his 5th professional season in CTDB. The team is thoroughly underperforming and has struggled to find any sort of consistency on offense. While Yang has collected 2 Chargers on his team (a smart move on his part), the Birds are losing their feathers quick. After its superbowl season in 2002, the Birds suffered through two years of losing records before breaking out last year. With injuries and underperformers littering the lineup, the Birds recently suffered its 5th straight loss. Dirty Bird fans were temporarily placated with the success of last season but now faced with a 3rd losing season in the last 4 years, the trolls are back. Sources tell us that Andre Rison has been interviewing for the coaching position. Some bad moon wouldn’t be that bad would it?

3. Ante Up (3-4-0) – Standings would tell us that Battle Angels are technically a worse team but we see more issues here. While the team has plenty of firepower with Tatum and Westy in the backfield (along with Edge who is probably averaging less than his height in yards per carry) bolstered with a solid receivers core consisting of Chambers, Driver, and Reggie W – Ante Up has struggled mightily in putting up points. Ante Up has scored a total of 587 points this season or 83 points a week. The rest of the IDK division is averaging 10 more points per week than Ante Up. Edge has been a borderline disaster, Westy is banged up and while Chambers has been decent, Donald Driver and Reggie Wayne have been disappointments. To make things worse, Rex Grossman has transformed into a 4th tier QB that recently recorded the worst carry over in CTDB history: -5.

4. Battle Angels (2-5-0) – After suffering its 5th straight loss, the Angels are probably outsiders looking in for this year’s playoffs. GM Vu Dinh has tinkered with his lineup throughout the season to try and find a winning combination. Star rook, Laurence Maroney, has shown flashes of brilliance. Steve Smith has been all-world. Reggie Brown has proved to be much better than Fred-Ex and has been a star receiver the last three weeks with scores of 15, 23, and 15. However, the top three teams in SMG divisions all have 5-2 records or better. We see good things for the Angels this year but it probably won’t be enough.

5. Tiiiite End Jammers (3-4-0) – The Jammers, long time nemesis of the Monkeys, just isn’t quite what they used to be. With three straight playoff seasons since 2001 culminating in a dominant 2003 season, the Jammers have been a bottom-dwelling team since then. While the team has already matched last year’s win total (3 games), the team is struggling through its first real roster shakeup in a couple of years. Names such as Leon Washington, Joseph Addai, and Jerious Norwood now comprise of the main talent on the Jammers. While the receiver core has been a pleasant surprise from a traditionally run-first team (you run when you have Terrell Davis, Priest Holmes, and Ricky Williams on the same team in 2001) – the team is struggling to find a consistent offense. The upside is that the Jammers will likely make the playoffs this year unless they find a way to tank below Ante Up.

6. Buffy (3-3-1) – No, this is not a makeup call for a brutal win against the Monkeys. Hate mail will undoubtedly flood in after this is posted. How can a team that has won 3 games in a row, a team that demolished the Monkeys by nearly 15 points, a team that set the likely season high score of 163 points in a week – be only the 5th best team? Can this really be a fluke? We say yes. Buffy can flex all they want but we want to see more. If you take away the 163 and the resulting 117 score (mostly from a ridiculous 80+ pt carryover from 3 players), Buffy has averaged a very pedestrian 93 points per week. Take away the crazy carryover, Buffy probably would’ve scored under 70 points this week. The team is fortunate that its playing in an unusually weak IDK division this year and is treading a second place ranking with a .500 record.

7. Green Team (5-2-0) – GM Ng deserves all the credit he can get. He has struck fantasy gold with the acquisitions of Bernie Berrian and Robbie Gould. The guy could have also found a keeper monster in Brandon Jacobs as well. There is a reason why the lean green machine has reached a 5-2 record so far. The roster is solid and deep with a good mix of talent and veteran leadership. The bad thing is that they are in the same division as the Phreaks and Shrapnel. It will be a great winter for football in the SMG.

8. Fat Jubas (5-2-0) – The defending champs are back. The Jubas, outside of the Monkeys, have quietly been a model of success. The Jubas is one of the top two teams in the SMG division each and every year and consistently reach the division championships or the playoffs each year. They put it together finally last year with a huge win over arch-rival Monkeys. (I think the Monkeys are hated by everyone). The team has won 5 games in a row and is nipping at the heels of first place again. Despite the loss of Shaun Alexander, GM Liao has made a number of shrewd moves – including the trade for Gore and Coles, the signing of Colston and playing in more magic tournaments – the team is here to stay folks. Get used to it.

9. Philadelphia Phreaks (6-1-0) – The Anti-Juba. The Phreaks have had only one winning season since 2001. While its 2-11 record of worst season record is being threatened by the likes of the Fobster and Dirty Birds this year, the Phreaks have finally put together a legitimate team. The Phreaks are clearly the class of the SMG division and a solid draft this year has put the team on top. Donnie is all world again and TJ and Roy Roy are breaking out. The running backs are talented if not a tad inconsistent. With the impending return of Donte, there won’t really be a weakness here. Barring injuries, this is a divisional champion in the making. They have best record in the league, second most points, second best breakdown (hypothetical aggregate standing if you played everyone each week) and the most number of Shanghainese cheerleaders in the league.

10. Chunky Monkeys (6-1-0) – Mr. Regular Season. Is this finally it? Is this the season? GM Shiue made a huge statement by trading for Anquan Boldin. You’re looking at a lineup of Peyton, LJ, LT, TO, Andre2000, and Boldin – I know teams tremble. Lets review some stats (you know I love this stuff – its my team and my article). The team is averaging over 131 pts per week through the first seven weeks. That is more than 20 points more per week than the second highest scorer (Phreaks). 20?! The Monkeys have an ungodly breakdown record of 58-5-0 on the season. That’s a 90% win percentage. They are a hypothetical undefeated team against half the league over 7 games. Using the breakdown standings as a proxy, the Monkeys have reached over 100 wins the last two seasons. This season could be even better and would be the best in history. The team suffered a minor bruise of a loss to Buffy despite scoring nearly 150, and the team came back and scored another 140+ the following week. The Monkeys lowest score all season has been 112. None of this matters in the post season though.

Buffy "Flexes"

The juggernaut of a team has finally been handed their first loss. The Monkeys lost to Buffy in one of the most exciting games in CTDB history (163-149, Torry Holt scores 38, Joe Horn 26, and LT 40). GM Cheng said, "It was back and forth all game long, I was sweating bullets. GM Shiue contacted me throughout the game conceding the game, then taking it back again, but we took it in the end."

On any given Sunday, team Buffy can be the best team in the league, outspoken WR Joe Horn, President of the Roy Williams Fan Club, was quoted as saying, "Man, i told ya'll, if our offense is playing the way its supposed to, we can score 150 a game, no doubt baby!" With 163 points scored, team Buffy was only 11 points short of tying the all-time high score in a single game.

GM Cheng concluded the post-game press conference with the following remarks, "We are not the type of team to take it one game at a time, we plan on winning every game the rest of the season, and that started last week. We will be a 3-time CTDB champion, It's our destiny."

Defeated?

As CTDB enters its 5th week, teams are starting to separate themselves. Some teams, like the undefeated Monkeys and the surprising Phreaks have started strong this season. However, this issue looks to examine the floundering teams of CTDB - most notably Buffy and Fobsters. The two teams are a combined 0-7-1 and have scored a combined 621 points. The Monkeys and the Phreaks on the otherhand have totaled 947 points in that same time frame. Over 4 weeks - thats an average of over 80 more points scored a week or 40 points per team! As GM Yang would say - Wowzas!

Buffy (0-3-1)
The glory team of yesteryear. Are they the CTDB version of the Raiders? A once dominant team committed to excellence is now struggling to put up offense and finds itself 3.5 games out of first place entering Week 5. Experts point to an aging lineup and an inexplicable managerial style that has resulted in many wasted points (see Mssr Willie Parker). However, the core skill players remain talented and explosive. Carson Palmer seems to be fully healed and is only held back by his teammates inability to stay out of jail. Torry Holt remains a top receiver while Willie Parker is everything that is young, fast, and Willie about CTDB. However, the rest of the team is anchored by veterans that simply haven't performed. Outside of Terry Glenn, soon to be retirees Joe Horn, Derrick Mason, Fred Taylor and even a rebounding Jamal Lewis have failed to make an impact this year. Despite a great special teams and outstanding defense, Buffy will need to see some consistency in the backfield and the WR3 position before considering a run this year. Buffy fans have rallied for the owner to rebuild and trade for young talent but GM Cheng is notorious for going with his best guns who are often the wily vets. We'll see ... its been awhile since Buffy has seen the mountaintop.

Fobsters (0-4-0)
CTDB's first and premiere expansion team - hasn't exactly been a success. Rookie GM, Jimmy W, with his years of coaching experience in the CTDBDL (CTDB Development League) has struggled to keep up with the rules in the big show. Following a draft that was met with mixed reactions from fans, the team has failed miserably in putting up any sort of offensive effort. The core of this team is as talented as any in the league but will likely need a move or two before it can crawl back into contention. Hasselbeck has been up and down. Star backs, Tiki Barber, Reggie Bush and Cadillac Williams have been fantasy disappointments. So has Chad Johnson. The talent is here and ready ... they just need a gameplan to execute. How long before we see fans carrying "TRADE JIMMY" posters?

Gored!

The Chunky Monkeys and the Fat Jubas announced a trade earlier this afternoon that sends running back, Frank Gore, and wide receiver, Laveraneus Coles to the Fat Jubas for flankers, Anquan Boldin and Troy Williamson. The Jubas have also agreed to send a conditional draft pick to the Monkeys based on a series of clauses. If the Fat Jubas designates Gore as a franchise keeper player at season's end, the Jubas will send their second round draft pick in the 2007 supplemental draft in exchange for the Monkeys fifth round pick in that draft. Should Frank Gore finish the season as a top five runningback, the Jubas will then send their first round pick in the 2007 supplemental draft in exchange for the Monkey's fourth round pick. This clause, if effected, supercedes and would replace the former clause.

In what was a long anticipated move for the Monkeys, GM Evan Shiue was finally able to acquire the long coveted star receiver he's been looking for. Despite being an unquestionably talented young running back, Frank Gore had little chance to play with the presence of Ladainian Tomlinson and Larry Johnson. The Monkeys also had veteran running back Chester Taylor in the wings as well.

"Quan (Boldin) and Troy (Williamson) will help legitimize our lineup. Quan is an explosive receiver with outstanding hands and is clearly entering the prime of his young career. We believe he can be one of the top five receivers for a long time. Troy will be an excellent backup player for us. He has excellent speed and will have the opportunity to compete with Michael Clayton for playing time this season."

For the Jubas, Gore represents a young talented back with unlimited potential. Gore was an underrated runningback entering this season and is finally living up to the hype. Gore, through the first two weeks of the season, has been the second highest scoring runningback behind Tomlinson. According to Shiue, "We were sad to see Frank go. Frank is an excellent player who is a leader in the clubhouse." Coles is expected to be a starter as well with his team - he's currently the second highest scoring receiver behind Donte Stallworth.

According to ESPN Fantasy Analyst, Eric Karabell, the deal should help both teams immediately. "Gore is a tremendous talent and will make an immediate impact for the Jubas. Despite the fact that Boldin has established himself as one of the best young receivers in the NFL, Gore has the potential to be the best player in this trade. Coles will be a solid receiver this year and will be a solid contributor this year. I do like the Monkey's acquisition of Williamson. As they say, you can't teach speed and Williamson has a lot of it."

Undefeated

2-0 and on top of the world. That's what the Chunky Monkeys and Ante Up are. In the traditionally tough Inscrutable Drama Kings division, it's hard to claw your way to the top. Last year's division winner, Ante Up (10-3), and perennial power Chunky Monkeys (8-4-1) are sitting pretty again. How are they doing it?

ANTE UP
After last year's dominating streak to end the year, Ante Up is picking up right where they left off last season. Disregarding their loss in the playoffs, Ante Up has won 9 regular season games in a row. Impressive. Especially considering that Ante Up has had an up and down franchise record. Three 5-8 records (2001, 2002, 2004) and only one other winning season, 8-7 in 2003. If you want to go to pre-historic history however, before we had the CBS Record Book up, I believe Ante Up ripped off 8 or 9 wins in a row in our inaugural year -- of course, he also lost an equal number of games in a row that year (Fred Taylor, guess when he got hurt?) to leave him at 0.500 or very close to that.

Last year's success was powered by RB Edgerrin James, QB Trent Green, and the decently productive duo of WRs Chris Chambers and Reggie Wayne. Some things have changed in 2006. RB Brian Westbrook seems to be revitablized, with his rushing/receiving skills piling up the yards. WR Donald Driver has been en fuego and should continue to produce with Brett Favre throwing his arm out every game. And WR Reggie Wayne? Back on track with Peyton and Co.

The problem area is that RB Edgerrin James, long the cornerstone of this franchise, is struggling. His move to the desert has not been good for his numbers. And let's not even talk about Chris Chambers, who is forced to receive passes from the inept Daunte Culpepper. Ante Up is gonna need Edgerrin to pick up the pace if they wish to continue winning. Backup Corey Dillon is a man-stud but he's sharing carries with a rookie. Oh, and did we mention that Trent Green has been knocked out of the game for a few weeks? That's never good, maybe brittle Kurt Warner can pick up the slack. Warner has actually been a much better QB than Green so there is hope here.

This year, Ante Up has scored the second most points in the league (218) while shellacking the Fobsters in WK2 (122-67) and a close win in WK 1 versus Buffy (96-91). Their matchup in WK3 against the Dirty Birds seems to be in their favor so we could easily be looking at 3-0 for Ante Up.

CHUNKY MONKEYS
L-O-A-D-E-D. The Monkeys are walking into WK3 with carry over points totaling 66 points. The L boys -- LT and LJ -- combine for 43 points. Kicker Nate Kaeding (15) Chargers D (8) and Terrell Owens (2) make up the rest of the bye week. This might be enough points to beat some teams already.

Mix in Peyton Manning (38 last week), a surprising Laveranues Coles (19 pts each of the first two weeks), and the possible back on track Andre Johnson (13 pts each of the first two weeks). Is there any question as to why the Monkeys are averaging over 130+ points a week and beating opponents by an average of 35 points each week?

Let's not forget young RBs Frank Gore (18pts) and Chester Taylor (13) who sat the bench for the first two weeks. Do you realize that the Monkeys have 4 of the top 10 RBs in the league? And the bottom one has been Larry Johnson. Wow.

This team is so good I want to cry. Or trade. The only uplifting part of this story for the other owners is that #1 WR Terrell Owens has been injured and there is not much depth behind him. Michael Clayton probably won't do enough to consistently be the answer. But with that many quality RBs available, who cares who's catching the ball?

Best QB, best RBs, one of the best Ks and Defenses in the game. Can this equal (finally) championship?

Can You Dig It?

In an intra-division battle, excuse me, war...the Battle Angels, with the lowest winning points last week (72 points), face off against the defending champion Fat Jubas, who was 6 points away from being the worst team last week -- that honor went to the Fobsters (52 pts). So what of this week? Can the champs bounce off the mat and pick up a morale raising victory on their path to a repeat? Or will the CTDB Champion curse -- not to mention the Madden one -- KO them before the season even gets rolling? Here's to our Week 2 highlighted matchup.

QB - The Angels have Drew Brees facing off against a weak Green Bay defense. Of course, the Rams and QB Marc Bulger face off against an even weaker San Francisco offense. So what will it be? Here's predicting a field day for both, and multiple TDs for both Brees and Bulger.
Advantage: Even

RB - The Jubas will enter the fray with last year's MVP Shaun Alexander and either Reuben Droughns or Mike Bell. Neither look like great options, but Bell might be the choice here as he time-shares with Tatum against a suspect KC defense. For the Jubas to have any chance to win, they're gonna need more than 4 points from their star. 4 pts!

The Angels outperformed that last week with only one RB! Despite trying out the run-and-shoot for their inaugural 2006 week, the Angels are looking to return to a standard formation with last week's holdover Willis McGahee (10 pts) and new, yet old, workhorse, Ahman Green (14 pts in a reserve role). If they can manage those basic numbers again, the Angels should be okay here, despite facing off against Shaun Alexander.
Advantage: Battle Angels

WR - The Angels are very thin in their pass catching department without superstar Steve Smith. Reggie Brown and Antonio Bryant did a great job last week (combining for 22 pts) but Joey Galloway had nothing. Galloway has been set aside this week for FA find Muhsin Muhammad, who had a great Week 1. Still, the Angels are a bit hamstrung by the lack of their super mite Steve Smith.

Luckily, it's not like the Jubas have much in the air time department either. Anquan Boldin is an unqualified star (14 pts) but Lee Evans and Rod Smith (7 pts total) aren't exactly barn burners. TE Jeremy Shockey (13 pts last week in reserve) might be inserted into the lineup soon but for now he sits. Speedster Troy Williamson (two huge drops last week, as well as some nice catches) could be a nice addition, but it's a wait-and-see with him. When in doubt, go with team that starts the superstar -- Boldin.
Advantage: Fat Jubas

Def and K - Oh Mike Vanderjagt, putting up a big fat zero last week. That's not good. When the Jubas' kicker, Shayne Graham, is exploding for 11 pts, that's quite a hole to put your team in. Still, Vanderjagt should be a good kicker and Graham can't kick 3 FGs every week.

Luckily, the Angels have the Steelers D, who are always ready to wreck havoc on opposing offenses. They had a monster 15 points last week and while the Jubas' picked up the revitalized Atlanta defense (dropping Seahawks D, who did have 10 pts in WK 1), they shouldn't be better than Pittsburgh.
Advantage: Fat Jubas, based on Graham over Vanderjagt.

So there you have it, the field is set for a titanic struggle. Will either team break the century mark? One team has to win, who will it be? In the NFL, no Super Bowl champion has ever started off 0-2 and then made the playoffs. Can the Jubas avoid the same fate?

Diving into Success

Here we go, Week 1, where dreams begin. Two former champions hope to score their second titles (and first rings) this season. You know a good start is essential to a championship season. Here we go, face off.

QB - Tom Brady versus Michael Vick. Vick used to be a Dirty Bird but now he's just dirty. Facing a Carolina team that usually manhandles him, the decided advantage here is with Brady (even if he's on the injury report).

RB - Steven Jackson and Rudi Johnson face off against Warrick Dunn and DeShaun Foster. Warrick should have an okay game, but again, the Panthers always annihilate the Falcons offense. I'm not sure why that happens and it pains me as a Falcons fan. As a fantasy football owner however, I love it. DeShaun Foster could have a good game as his numbers are always excellent when he starts and remains healthy. Still, the decided edge is with Jackson and Johnson, who are both facing AFC West teams that can be pushed around.

WR - Marvin Harrison, Javon Walker and Eddie Kennison make a nice trio. Marvin is the best in the business and some prognosticators think he'll have one more great season. Walker is a bit of an unknown but if Jake the Snake has to throw to someone, it has to be the fleet footed former Packer. The problem is, the Dirty Birds also boast a nice receiver trio. Randy Moss, Larry Fitzgerald, and Plaxico Burress are big names and big players. In fact, the Birds could boast the tallest receiving corps in the (fantasy) league. High praise, I know. While Fitzgerald is a first class player, Moss and Burress have been decidedly underwhelming recently. So let's call this matchup a wash.

K and Def - Jason Elam will school Michael Koenen. Sure Koenen pulls double duty as a punter but can he match Elam's decade long consistency? Doubtful. Will the Colts shut down Eli and the Giants? Can the Jaguars reduce the Cowboys to little Indians? It's possible. Let's call it another wash with Elam canceling out the edge that the Colts Def should have.

All in all, it looks like the Birds should handily win their first game of the season. Call it a grudge match for the epic trade that dismantled the Birds a few seasons ago and powered the Jammers to their championship. Then again, the Birds could come crashing back to Earth even before take-off occurs. You never know.

May the best team win. And if they don't, I'll still have faith. It's only Week 1 afterall.