Ocho-Oucho

All that stands between the Fobsters and immortality is...the Dirty Birds. The Fobsters can complete an un-winning season by losing this week to the Birds -- who, at 3-8-1, is 29.2% better than the Fobsters in the win column. Having already set a record for far and away the worst losing streak ever (12 games and counting), the Fobsters are still talking tough and hoping to pull out a victory here. It's going to be an uphill battle both ways however.

How bad have the Fobsters been? Consider that they average 74.5 points per game, almost a dozen points below their next closest competitor. The league leading Chunky Monkeys average 135 points per game. See the difference? Granted, the Fobsters have faced far and away the toughest schedule in the league (opponents average 113 points), but there must be some blame placed at their feet. Not even one win? How is that possible?!

Blame the so called "stars" of the team. Chad Johnson may average almost 15 points a game this season but to be quite honest, before his 45 and 41 point explosions in WK 10 and 11, he was hardly the stuff that legends were made of. But we'll give Cinco Cinco a pass as he's still this team's vocal and on-field leader. What about leading RB Tiki Barber? He's been steady, but not every explosive (only 1 TD this year) and he's leaving after the season to pursue a career in...well, who knows? The other RB spot has been tossed around by NO teammates Deuce McAllister and Reggie Bush. Bush has been a bust, straight up, but his tantalizing talent has made Jimmy start him a few times over the far more productive Deuce. Whoops. I guess next year could be more of the same. Decisions, decisions.

And let's talk about terrible decisions by Jimmy. QB Matt Hasselbeck has been in the starting lineup for the past few weeks. Isn't Seneca Wallace the Seahawks QB? Why, yes he is! Bigger whoops! In fact, the best player on this team, Philip Rivers, was just acquired a few weeks ago off the waiver wire and hasn't started a game for the Fobsters -- despite Hasselbeck being hurt. The rest of this team hasn't fared well either.

Todd Heap has been pretty steady, but better off as a third receiver, not as your second. Keyshawn has disappeared, especially now that the Steve Smith experience has returned to Carolina. At least young WR Chris Heny has logged a few explosive games, but his inconsistency has kept him firmly planted on Jimmy's bench for most of the season. And last and definitely worst, Cadillac Williams has proved that even a young Caddy can lose a few wheels. 3 TDs on the year, 697 yards, 3.8 yards per carry. The Caddy needs a new nickname -- the Hyundai perhaps?

Such a talented group of players have gelled this year to produce a historic record. The Fobsters have eclipsed the century mark only twice, in a WK 6 loss to the Phreaks (121-101) and another loss to Buffy in WK 10 (149-109).

The closest they ever came to victory this season? Week 11, where they "only" lost by 15 to the Fat Jubas. The worst beatdown they took? Green Team annihilating them by 93 points in WK 4 (145-52), in what was surely a sign of things to come. Records are being made here gentlemen, and not of the good kind.

So can they do it? Can they finish the season totally defeated? Who will they go with? Matt Hasselbeck (returned from injury) or Philip Rivers? Can Chad Johnson put up another 40+ points in a losing effort? Do the Fobsters even have a future in this league? We will see come Sunday: Battle of the Worst!