Super Bowl XVIIII

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Saquon Barkley, the Chunky Monkey's team captain, stepped up when it counted most.  The sophomore back tallied 422 yards and four touchdowns in the Monkey's two playoff games after disappointingly only accounting for 902 yards and three touchdowns the first fourteen weeks of the season. Barkley scored a season high 41.9 points in the championship game, culminating the in Monkey's fourth championship trophy in franchise history -- tying them with Dirty Birds for best in CTDB history.

The Monkeys overcame the feared Lamar Jackson (who should be the obvious MVP) and Mark Andrews stack who delivered with 62 points, but it wasn't quite enough for Custom J. Saquon and midseason waiver wire pick, Ryan Tannehill, delivered 74 combined points, which was the difference in the game. The Monkeys beat Custom J 139.2 - 123.8.

So how did the Monkeys get here?  After missing the playoffs with a near rock bottom 4-9 season in 2017, the Monkeys hit the lottery with their Toilet Bowl win by drafting Barkley with the first pick in 2018. The team finished 9-4 in 2018 improved to 10-3 this year, en route to its first championship in six years. [ Previous titles: 2006, 2010, 2013 ] In only his second year in the league, Barkley has set the pace for resetting the Monkeys franchise.

Along with the help of an emergent Chris Godwin and the ageless Tom Brady, the Pats defense led the charge for the Monkeys in the first part of the season.  The Patriots averaged sixteen points per game over the first eight weeks -- good enough to help the Monkeys to an 8-0 streak to start the season. While Brady and the Pats D eventually faded, it was good enough to secure the Monkeys a regular season second place finish and a first week playoff bye...and the rest is history.

The Monkeys have a bit of transformation more to do this off season. While Godwin has secured his spot on the keeper roster, there are a few question marks remaining. Hunter Henry failed to live up to expectations, Mark Ingram is on the wrong side of thirty, and is Stefon Diggs is really a WR2. For now though, the Monkeys can enjoy being the first franchise to four titles: no ties, no asterisks, just titles!


Some notable season highlights:

  • Mark Ingram.  Gritty performance by the thirty year old running back. Ingram finished as the #8 back on season despite being an unheralded older keeper for the Monkeys. He was a steady starter all season and locked down an unseasonably turbulent running back corps especially when Barkley was out.
  • Chris Godwin.  Probably the best pick of the draft.  Godwin was snagged at the end of the first round and ended up being the #2 overall WR behind Michael Thomas.
  • Tom Brady. The Monkeys long planned to stream quarterbacks but Brady, like the Patriots D, gave the team a surprisingly steady hand at QB.  Brady was a team top three performer six out of the first eight weeks and played a big role in the team's roaring start to the season.
  • Ryan Tannehill. A late season pick up that clinched the playoffs with two 30+ point performances, Tannehill was the lynchpin to the late season run especially after Brady faded late in the season.
As for Custom J, Josh's first season in CTDB has to counted as a huge success since they won the regular season crown by only losing one game all season. Led by Lamar Jackson, Nick Chubb, Leonard Fournette, DeAndre Hopkins, Joe Mixon, and Mark Andrews, Custom was close to a title but fell just a bit short. A new rivalry brews between them and Chunky and we'll see where Lamar can take them next season!

Super Bowl Preview 2019

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#1 Custom J (12-1) vs #2 Chunky Monkeys (10-3)

Here we are, the first Cousin Bowl in CTDB history! It could have been a Brother Bowl but after Evan took our Eddie last week with a stellar 175.6 - 116.5 stomping, the stage is set for the best and second-best teams this season to face off in a Super Bowl XVIIII. (Yes, that’s nineteen!) Josh’s Custom J took care of business by taking out LA Buffy, 153.2 - 99.4, ending Roger’s upset hopes. Let’s take a look at the matchups.

QB: It’s Lamar Jackson versus Ryan Tannehill. While I haven’t been following football very closely this year, even I know that Lamar Jackson is the new MVP and mega superstar this season. So while there’s a Tannehill resurgence or something, we’re gonna go with the historic season from Jackson. Edge: Custom J

RB: Last year’s number one overall pick, Saquon Barkley powered Chunky Monkeys back to relevance but he’s going to have a tough time going up against fellow 2018 NFL draftee Nick Chubb. He’ll have Mark Ingram — the #8 rated back on the season — alongside him but Chubb has Leonard Fournette, giving Custom J two top ten backs. Still, we like Barkley’s upside and it’s possible that he and Ingram will have a standout Super Bowl. They’ll have to, for Monkeys to stand a chance. Both teams have flexed running backs, with Custom going with Joe Mixon and Monkeys starting Mike Boone. We’re pretty sure Mixon has been trash this year so I guess we’ll just go with big cousin Evan on this one… Edge: Chunky Monkeys

WR: Tannehill will have deep threats Tyreek Hill, Stefon Diggs, and Curtis Samuel facing off versus DeAndre Hopkins, Courtland Sutton, and Terry McLaurin. That, um, seems like a wash. Hill had a big game last weekend and he’ll have to again to keep up with Hopkins and Co. The big story here is who’s missing for both teams. Monkeys will be without the services for their number one receiver, Chris Godwin, while Custom doesn’t seem to be playing Cooper Kupp or Jarvis Landry. Will Josh’s big gamble on McLaurin turn out to be the right move? Edge: Even

TE: Ah, good old Hunter Henry. Did he finally break out this year? I guess being a top eight tight end means he sort of did, but it seems like his run of double digit scoring is over. He’ll be facing off against Mark Andrews, who is capable of multiple touchdowns and is Lamar Jackson’s safety net, meaning he averages about ten points a game. Edge: Custom J

DST/K: Where art though vaunted Patriots Defense? Monkeys rode the historic start by Patriots DST to the top of the league but they’ve been much less impressive of late. Even a matchup against the Bills might not be enough to push them back to their league crushing ways. While Custom J features the second best defense in the league in Pittsburgh, much of their success was earlier in the season as well. I guess we could talk about kickers then, with Evan’s Younghoe Koo going up against the second-best kicker in Will Lutz. I guess we’ll go with Chunky for this one, since in theory Patriots have more upside and we have to support our ex-Charger and still Korean Koo. Edge: Chunky Monkeys

Intangibles: Everything has lined up for Custom J to take the title this year. A stellar disbursement draft, a MVP candidate in Lamar Jackson. And most of all, the new/old Dirty Birds franchise has never lost to the Chunky Monkeys when its counted (is this even true? I want to say it is...) and we think cousin Josh will keep that streak alive. We predict a close win for Custom J!

Toilet Bowl X

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#10 Philadelphia Phreaks (1-12) def #9 Fat Jubas (3-10), 139.4 - 124.0

Well well, after a litany of cries about the unfairness of having a Toilet Bowl and how difficult it made it for the worst teams in the league to garner a top pick, it looks like all that was just cover for an one-win Phreaks team to take the consolation tournament!

After upsetting Masterminds in RD1 by a narrow margin, Phreaks faced off against old foe Fat Jubas and emerged victorious behind big games from Patrick Mahomes, Miles Sanders, and Anthony Miller. All of that was just enough to fend off Jubas’ Jameis Winston’s 45.3 points. (This was Phreaks’ second Toilet Bowl appearance, with their last one being in 2011.)

So it looks like the worst team in 2019 will get a chance at the top 2020 overall pick. What will this portend for the future of the Toilet Bowl? Will this win change Ping’s mind about the unfairness of it all? Should the top pick have just been handed over to a near winless team? We look forward to the offseason debates but for now, congratulations to Philadelphia Phreaks for finally winning something!

Playoffs: 2019 RD2

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Playoffs, RD2
#1 Custom J (12-1) vs #6 LA Buffy (5-8)
#2 Chunky Monkeys (10-3) vs #4 Crunch Bunch (8-5)

*Note: We reseed each round...

Toilet Bowl, RD2 Finals
#9 Fat Jubas (3-10) vs #10 Philadelphia Phreaks (1-12)

Playoff Matchups: 2019

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Playoffs, RD1
#3 Gang Green (10-3) vs #6 LA Buffy (5-8)
#4 Crunch Bunch (8-5) vs #5 Battle Angel (7-6)

Byes: #1 Custom J (12-1), #2 Chunky Monkeys (10-3)

Toilet Bowl, RD1
#7 City of Angels Masterminds (5-8) vs #10 Philadelphia Phreaks (1-12)
#8 Tiiite End Jammers (4-9) vs #9 Fat Jubas (3-10)

Power Rankings 2019

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PLAYOFF TEAMS
1. Custom J (12-1)
2. Chunky Monkeys (10-3)
3. Gang Green (10-3)
4. Crunch Bunch (8-5)
5. Battle Angel (7-6)
6. LA Buffy (5-8)

NON-PLAYOFF TEAMS
7. City of Angels Masterminds (5-8)
8. Tiiite End Jammers (4-9)
9. Fat Jubas (3-10)
10. Philadelphia Phreaks (1-12)

Tie-Breakers
10-3: Chunky Monkeys wins H2H 1-0 versus Gang Green, WK6
5-8: LA Buffy wins H2H 1-0 vs City of Angels Masterminds, WK6

Standings 2019

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