New Division Names

Our original division names, Inscrutable Drama Kings and Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses, were made with the Wu-Tang Name Generator — now made famous by Childish Gambino. However, the names were always a mouthful, and it’s doubtful people remembered it year to year. So here we are to change it up because this league is all about change!

Many great suggestions were made (mostly by Roger), but the one that really drew us in was Marvel vs Capcom, which satisfied the requirement of being easy to remember: one-word, no abbreviations, and more importantly, on theme. For us young guys, 1998 may seem like just yesterday but let’s face it: we old! Marvel and Capcom definitely captures us in our heyday and I'm sure most of us were either video game players or comic book readers, and probably both.

Also, sorry if you wanted to be on Marvel, or wanted to be on Capcom. Too bad! ESPN reads left-to-right so Inscrutable Drama Kings will become Marvel and Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses changes to Capcom. Maybe there's a case for re-alignment here?

Out of seventeen seasons, here are how many division titles each franchise has earned [Google Sheet here]:

Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses / Capcom:
Fat Jubas (6), Battle Angels (4), Gang Green (4), Philadelphia Phreaks (2), Skool / Fobsters (1)

Inscrutable Drama Kings / Marvel:
Chunky Monkeys (8), Buffy (3), Dirty Birds (2), Tiiite End Jammers (2), Ante Up / Athena Nike (2)

Note: Our two newest owners, Jimmy and Frank, have both never won a division title! I believe Frank joined three years ago and Jimmy, I dunno?! I'm officially cheering for them to take their first one this season.

And here's how many titles each division has won since 2001: Marvel (11.5) vs Capcom (5.5)

So how often did a top seed win the title? The answer is that out of seventeen years, a top seed won the title twelve times. Thus if you get that bye, your team's chances of winning it all are a whopping 70%!

Number-one seeds that made the championship round but didn't win the title game? Chunky Monkeys (3x, in 2004, 2009, 2015) and Ante Up (2x, in 2003, 2005). 'Nuff said...

Some other division name suggestions:

• Dinobots vs Constructicons
• Joes vs Cobra
• CT vs Bananas / Champs vs Stars
• Gummy Bears vs Smurfs
• Darkwing vs Scrooge
• Marvel vs DC
• In-N-Out vs White Castle
• Sega vs Nintendo
• BSB vs N’Sync
• Avengers vs X-Men
• Underworld vs Twilight
• LOTR vs Harry Potter
• Star Wars vs Star Trek
• Jons vs Jimmys

Draft Review: Marvel

Last year we had a brisk ninety-minute draft and this year went just two hours on the dot. Not bad! Once again, we all were present and we get another year of eighteen man rosters, ready to compete. [2017 Inscrutable Drama Kings draft review]

Chunky Monkeys (4-9)
After winning the Toilet Bowl and getting ranked as the worst keeper core in CTDB, Monkeys went a long way toward rebuilding after selecting consensus beast Saquon Barkley with the first overall pick. And then it got weird… Michael Crabtree and Mark Ingram were first out of the gate and its safe to say both players have seen better days. Sleeper tight end Trey Burton was a nice get in RD4 and Evan should hit on one of his young guys like Marquise Goodwin, Christ Thompson, Kenny Stills, or Chris Godwin. Kirk Cousins will lead this team out of the cellar — or Matt Stafford — and well, that’s about it. Still, for all his work behind-the-scenes, and for that incredible draft spreadsheet, we can’t give Monkeys anything less than a stellar score.
Grade: A++

LA Buffy (5-8)
It’s been a long drought for Roger, our three-time champs who has gone a long six years (and counting) between titles. It was time for new blood — Buffy had the oldest team in 2017 — after last year’s debacle and our second place Toilet Bowl finisher loaded up on Royce Freeman at 1.2, Ronald Jones at 2.2, and another rookie runner, Jordan Wilkins at 9.2. With the pre-draft addition of Jerick McKinnon, Buffy should have a backfield full of excitement. The receiving corps is a bunch of semi-old to straight up old guys, save the always underperforming Sammy Watkins. AJ Green, Larry Fitz, and Doug Baldwin will be joined by Julian Edelman, Randall Cobb, and Donte Moncrief. The duo of Russell Wilson and Andrew Luck will be solid, and when you go kicker in RD6, you are declaring your intentions for some wins. Who gets to four titles first: Chunky or Buffy? Shout out to Roger for throwing out potential new division names, and giving us our favorites, “Marvel vs Capcom.”
Grade: B

Tiiite End Jammers (6-7)
The Jammers are loaded, with their keeper core being ranked number one overall by analysts. Our champ from 2014 couldn’t resist the best quarterback in the land coming to them at 1.4 and now this keeper core is by far the best around. If Rodgers can stay on the field, watch out! Rookies Sony Michel and Kerryon Johnson compete for a starting gig while a strange backup receiver core of Jordy Nelson, Dez Bryant (still unsigned), and Kelvin Benjamin will likely not even see the field, especially with 5.1 Emmanual Sanders in front of them. We like the combo of Delanie Walker and Tyler Eifert at tight end, but to be real, it’s going to be a gigantic year of Jammers to use Rodgers and his all-world potential to take pole position for the 2018 season.
Grade: A-

Athena Nike (8-5)
Despite sort-of trying to tank last year, Athena went 8-5 and almost won the division! The core five are fantastic and with three extra picks in RD2 and RD3, Frank got to work mining for more gems. Armed with 2.7, 2.8, and 2.10, Nike drafted Mike Williams, Michael Gallup, and Donta Foreman (who will start the season on the PUP list). Back-to-back picks at 3.7 and 3.8 brought in yet another rookie receiver, Courtland Sutton, and the shocking selection of Adrian Peterson, who wasn’t even on Evan’s big board. But when you got lots of picks you can afford to take big swings. Packers sophomore running back Jamaal Williams is the guy to have in Green Bay, and then Derrius Guice, the likely number-two rookie before his injury, will be an auto-IR candidate for a draft-and-stash. Whew! Add in Josh Doctson, Jordan Reed, more rookies in Kalen Balalge, Matt Breida, and Christian Kirk, and our favorite last round pick: Lamar Jackson, and this team might not even miss Aaron Rodgers. Speaking of Rodgers, the new starting quarterback, Cam Newton (1.8) was the result of some controversy as Frank came to the draft late and was given Newton by a certain someone — thus missing out on his pre-season 1.8 target: Calvin Ridley. Still, Nike is the presumptive 2019 favorite, even while being a true contender with that talented core in 2018.
Grade: B+, but probably A- without the tardiness

Dirty Birds (8-5)
Our reigning champs -- and four-time winners -- might have snaked Calvin Ridley away at 1.10, but the next great Falcon probably won’t grade out as more than a WR4 this season. So with that in mind, Jon took four other receivers, all young but mostly flashes in the pan: Nelson Agholor, Rishard Matthews, Jamison Crowder, Martavis Bryant, and over-the-hill Pierre Garcon. However, getting a top DEF (5.10 - Rams) and K (10.10 - Justin Tucker) means Dirty Birds are here for business, and with Drew Brees leading the way, they’ll look to get the first repeat in CTDB history. Oh yeah, OJ Howard and Cameron Brats are the tight ends here, so that’s like, whatever. Let's go Birds!
Draft: C-

Draft Review: Capcom

Take a look at our newly named Marvel division draft review, and then dive into the new Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses: aka Capcom division! [2017 Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses draft review]

Fat Jubas (4-9)
Eric’s team collapsed hard after their 2016 title because David Johnson got injured for the year. We said Jubas needed some more level talent to climb back up in the standings and it looks like the job was accomplished! Adam Thielen was a bit of a surprise at 1.3 but he’s got loads of potential after a nice rookie year. Marvin Jones is always underrated, Robert Woods has bit play ability, same as John Ross, and Evan Engram should be a good tight end. Carlos Hyde and Chris Carson will get starting gigs in Cleveland and Seattle, and they might supplant keepers Rex Burkhead and Tevin Coleman pretty quickly. Add in Peyton Barber and Duke Johnson and this backfield should be fine. People raved about securing Keelan Cole at 11.2! Eric was by far the last owner to move on a starting quarterback, picking up Alex Smith in RD9 (next closest was Kirk Cousins in RD6), with Mitch Trubisky to back him up at RD12. We dunno where this team will end up this year, but really there’s nowhere else to go but up!
Grade: B+

Gang Green (6-7)
With a youthful new brain trust installed, GM Greg was hanging out by the pool in the Hamptons while making his selections. Once the toast of the now defunct Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses division, the Greenies have fallen on hard times, appearing in only one division finals (2015) and one runner-up in the Toilet Bowl (2012) since their 2009 title. But Greg’s teams can always surprise. Allen Robinson was a great get at 5.5, Deshaun Watson even better at 6.5, and hey, we like Devin Funchess in RD7 too! The running back wheel-of-fortune will consist of keepers Kenyan Drake and Derrick Henry, while Isaiah Crowelland Devontae Booker join the mix. Robinson and Funchess will have DeVante Parker, Sterling Shepard, and Jermaine Kearse nipping at their heels, while Kyle Rudolph is installed as the value tight end. So, what does Greg’s new brain trust say about his 2018 prospects? “Tiiite End Jammers will win it all….” So there it is, the truth from the mouth of babes!
Grade: B-

Philadelphia Phreaks (7-6)
Searching for a second running back to pair with Devonta Freeman, Ping took rookie Rashaad Penny, presumptive Texans starter Lamar Miller, and new Panther CJ Anderson in RD1-3. He also nabbed Dion Lewis and Marshawn Lynch in RD7/8, plus LeGarrette Blount in RD11. We aren’t sure what to make of that, to be honest. The 2015 All Stars? We like Cooper Kupp in RD4 and Allen Hurns, Mike Wallace, and Danny Amendola, who should all fit right in on this “are they over the hill?” crew. Patrick Mahomes will start the season under center, as Carson Wentz will likely be on the bench. After going 0.500 in his past two seasons, can Ping rise back to his 8-5 2015 record? Who cares, go Eagles!
Grade: C+

Fobsters (8-5)
After going all-in last year, and after losing a shootout to Battle Angels in the division finals, it looks like Jimmy is now on the scout-for-talent path, despite having the highest ranked keepers in Capcom. Rookie DJ Moore, sophomore tight end David Njoku, Negatron Kenny Golladay, started off Fobsters’ draft. After grabbing the top defense in RD5, Jimmy went right back to work grabbing young guys: rookie Nick Chubb, Tyler Lockett, Cordarrelle Patterson, Anthony Miller, Geronimo Allen (Geronimo!), Dante Pettis, and Mike Gesicki, whoever that is. See any names that have done anything much in the NFL? Not really! But hey, Tom Terrific and his old backup Jimmy the Beautiful are here to take these young guys to another playoff appearance. Who knows, maybe playing the lottery will get Fobsters to the promised land?
Grade: C

Battle Angel (9-4)
After losing in the title game in 2013 and 2017, Vu’s team is hungry to grab their second title, which came in 2008, a long decade ago. Last year’s rookie free agent gem, Alvin Kamara, gives this team a superstar to ride with -- and to think Battle were given the worst slot for Power Rankings in 2017. While dialing in from a family BBQ, Vu went for youthful vets to keep his winning ways going. Brandin Cooks a nice 1.9 grab for an already strong receiving corps, and we like Chris Hogan and Will Fuller in RD3/4 respectively. Jay Ajayi is a pretty erratic starter so we’ll see if Marlon Mack, Aaron Jones, Tarik Cohen, or Bilal Powell can take over. Niners tight end George Kittle is quite the sleeper and he could be quite the value in RD10. Last year’s quarterback combo of Drew Brees and Cam Newton are gone, replaced by Philip Rivers and Jared Goff. Maybe leaving Los Angeles made Vu nostalgic for old times? He also has Chargers defense to boot. Can Kamara avoid the sophomore slump and lead these Angels over the championship hump? We’ll about to find out!
Grade: B

2018 Keepers

Ranked in light keeper core strength order. Very light.

1) Tiiite End Jammers
Lei’s team may have not won the title last year but it still sports the best keepers around. The returning foursome of Le’Veon Bell, Antonio Brown, Julio Jones, and Demaryius Thomas are unimpeachable, and the addition of Golden Tate makes this passing attack even more dangerous. A new running back will need to be found though, as longtime Jammer DeMarco Murray retired. The 2014 champs look ready to contend again.

2) Dirty Birds
Why mess with a good thing? 2017’s champs return four to the core: Todd Gurley, LeSean McCoy, Odell Beckham, and TY Hilton. Mega-trade bust Dez Bryant will be pushed aside in favor of last year’s promising rookie runner, Dalvin Cook. There’s injury concerns here but if the defending champs can bring back ODB and Cook, that would be like the Celtics adding a healthy Kyrie and Gordon to their soon to be title team. Back-to-back?!?

3) Athena Nike
After inheriting Aaron Rodgers, Frank has cut him in a push year, which signals Rodger’s first time off Ante Up / Athena Nike’s keeper core since 2010. His replacement is worthy though, last year’s #1 overall pick, Leonard Fournette. With Ezekiel Elliot back for a full season that’s quite a one-two punch in the backfield. Add in DeAndre Hopkins, Michael Thomas, and Amari Cooper, and it’s easy to see why Rodgers had to make room for the non-QB players on this team.

4) Fobsters
Jimmy’s team had 5-4-3 wins in the previous three seasons, and then went 8-5 last year. I guess all those pre-draft moves from last season worked! Kareem Hunt was a monster early and late, Joe Mixon struggled but flashed enough promise, and Corey Davis was still the top drafted wide last year, before injuries ruined his rookie season. The 2017 draft brought in a ton of talent to replace Carlos Hyde, Sammy Watkins, and Kevin White — the latter two recipients from the mega-trade, so maybe not a huge upgrade? The good news is that Melvin Gordon has proven his top tier status, and the immortal Tom Brady is returning to lead this team again.

5) Battle Angels
Last year's rookie sensation Alvin Kamara joins the core, along with Robby Anderson, the hope of New York and receiver replacement for Kelvin Benjamin. Longtime franchise cornerstone Drew Brees was tossed overboard, so there could be a new hero at the helm to throw to Travis Kelce and Jarvis Landry. Can Jay Ajayi truly become a top tier running back? Our defending Spunky Misunderstood Genius conference champs will try and find out!

6) Gang Green
A complete turnover of keepers from just two years ago, Greg always has a churning core. This year there’s Davante Adams and Jimmy Graham for the passing game and possibly increased work for runner Derrick Henry.  Kenyan Drake blew up after Jay Ajayi was shipped from Miami and if he can stay on a nice workload, he could be a top ten option -- better than Lamar Miller at least. Add in sophomore multi-threat Christian McCaffrey and this running game looks good. And oh yeah, see ya Michael Crabtree!

7) Fat Jubas
Let’s hope David Johnson returns to prime form for Eric, as he’ll be needed in a likely rebuilding year, with Mike Evans being the only other franchise talent on this team. Alshon Jeffery can still catch touchdowns but he is likely in soft decline, but he was kept in favor of new Raider Jordy Nelson. New additions Rex Burkhead and Tevin Coleman are time-share backs with some upside — goodbye Isaiah Crowell — but without a refreshed Johnson, this ground game could be in trouble.

8) Philadelphia Phreaks
Riding high off an Eagles championship, Ping’s already a champion this season. Maybe that explains why he kept Carson Wentz — who didn’t win the Super Bowl btw — when just two other quarterbacks were kept overall. We’re pretty sure keeping Allen Robinson or Brandin Cooks was the better option but the heart wants what it wants! Let’s hope Phreaks can get a title of their own behind the Wentz to Zach Ertz connection, along with Devonta Freeman, Keenan Allen, and the highlight stylings of Juju Smith-Schuster.

9) Buffy
Looking for a return to the post-season, Roger will get the #2 overall pick this year to join the likes of Rob Gronkowski, AJ Green, Doug Baldwin, and Larry Fitzgerald — the latter replacing Julian Edelman. A pre-draft trade brought in Jerick McKinnon but as he’s the only running back on the roster, after cutting Mark Ingram, we expect Roger to go with a rookie RB, but which one!? There's no clear consensus and if this pick hits big, it could set Buffy up for the near future.

10) Chunky Monkeys
Evan was close to trading the #1 overall pick but decided to stand pat as his ailing franchise is short on premier talent. Of last year’s keepers, only Jordan Howard and Tyreek Hill are back, but both are low-ish keepers. Alex Collins and Stephon Diggs have talent and are an upgrade over Ty Montgomery, Terrelle Pryor, and Greg Olsen though. Plus, the return of Josh Gordon to a keeper core! What a mighty gamble by a former powerhouse team. It looks like Chunky really needs this pick to pan out! Hello Saquon!

Rules Changes 2018

We had a slew of new rules changes last season -- take a look -- and we had a few more this year. Take a look at the voting if you like.

1) Prohibit the trading of keeper slots (7/2 "yes" votes - Pass)
Keeper slots cannot be traded, and you can't hold a keeper for another team, even through another year. Any attempt to circumvent these rules will be

2) Update DST scoring (9/1 "yes" votes, albeit with two wanting new proposed or comments - Pass)
We're revamping DST scoring to be both less overall and fewer negative games. For our initial thinking, we are using this Reddit guide as a baseline: "You Deserve Better D/ST Scoring (2018 Preseason Edition)"

• DSTs start at 0 (not 10)
• Defensive TDs of any kind are worth 6 points. Counts for INT and FR.
• Increase Punt/Kick return TDs to 8 points. Give a boost for return TDs because they are momentum shifters and won't receive a natural bonus from turnover points.
• Increase safeties to 4 points. Not only is it 2 points on the scoreboard, but it's also a turnover. So it's 4 points total because math.
• 2-PT Conversion Returns are worth 4 points. They put 2 points on the board for the team and prevent 2 points from the opposing team: a 4-point swing in theory. They can shift the momentum of a game just a much as a Safety, if not more so.
• Increase blocked kicks to 3 points.  Not only are they in many ways like a turnover (worth 2 points) but they're also a momentum shifter, which should hold value. "Kicks" applies to punts and field goals.
• -2 points per 100 yards allowed after 400 yards allowed.
• -2 per 10 PA after 2 PA.

FAILED
1) WR/TE designations are simply now TE (1/8 "yes" votes - Fail)
Currently we have three WR/TE slots, which means a team can start four TEs. The measure didn't pass so the weirdness of four TE lineups lives on.


Rules not voted on but mentioned/discussed:
• Extending keeper slots from five to more
• Expansion and/or reset
• Eliminated DEF or K positions altogether
• Two starting QBs
• Re-think playoff seeding
• Re-shuffle divisions
• Re-name divisions

Draft Order: 2018

1. Chunky Monkeys (4-9)
2. Fat Jubas (4-9)
3. Buffy (5-8)
4. Tiiite End Jammers (6-7)
5 Gang Green (6-7)
6. Philadelphia Phreaks (7-6)
7. Fobsters (8-5)
8 Athena Nike (8-5)
9. Battle Angels (9-4) *Runner Up
10. Dirty Birds (8-5) *Champion

Toilet Bowl Win: Chunky Monkeys
TB Loss: Buffy

Tie-Breakers
1) #1 and #2 picks: Monkeys (4-9) and Jubas (4-9). Monkeys was 0-1 vs the Jubas so Monkeys win and secure the first pick of each round.
2) #7 and #8 picks. Athena (8-5) and Fobsters (8-5). Birds and Angels are the last two picks since they were in the Superbowl. Fobsters was 0-1 vs Athena so they secure the higher 7th pick, Athena is 8th pick.
3) #4 and #5 picks. Jammers was 0-1 vs Gang Green so secured the higher pick #4 pick