Battle of the Champs

In what might have been the most exciting divisional finals in CTDB history, the two winning teams won by 3.05 points total. Yes, it was that close. The Fat Jubas using a strong performance from Cam Newton and Reggie Bush to barely fend off Battle Angel's 49.0 point Drew Brees explosion. And on the other side, the Dirty Birds lost by 0.8 points as Buffy overtook them on MNF with David Akers and Steelers defense.

So now both number one seeds are ready to face off with a lot at stake. Roger has two championships under his belt and is desperate for a third. Eric could claim a spot on Mount CTDB by winning a second Super Bowl. Let's take a look at the matchups.

QB: It's Cam Newton versus Matt Ryan. On the surface it looks like Killer Cam has got this one all the way, as he hasn't scored less than twenty points in five weeks. However, Matt Ryan has been absolute fire recently and should be able to match the audacious rookie point for point. Both quarterbacks face off against terrible defenses so we're looking for big numbers here. EDGE: Even

RB: Earlier in the year we would have said Roger had a huge edge here as he boasted Arian Foster, Matt Forte, and even Steven Jackson. Post-Forte, Buffy has chosen to run-and-gun, even though Jackson had a big week on the bench during WK14. On the other side, Reggie Bush and Frank Gore are big names but more likely to top out at about thirty points total, assuming everything goes well. Bush has been resurgent the back half of the season but Gore hasn't been that great. If Arian Foster has a monster game and either of them stumble a bit, Roger could get the same production out of one RB as Eric gets out of two. Here's what's crazy, Chris Johnson and Darren McFadden will be sitting the bench for the Jubas. Who would have thought that from the beginning of the year?! EDGE: Buffy

WR: This entire matchup will hinge on which receivers play well for their respective teams. Buffy has Wes Welker, Victor Cruz, AJ Green, and Antonio Gates lined up. Usually two of them have great games, but if they suffer another combined weak outting like last week, that opens the door for the Fat Jubas. The Jubas have some boom and bust options themselves, with Vincent Jackson, Jimmy Graham, and Santana Moss starting. It's hard to call who has the edge here, but we believe Wes Welker can't have another bad game with Brady slinging him the ball. EDGE: Buffy

K/DEF: Normally this reporter could care less what a K and Def are like for playoff matchups, but seeing as this reporter lost to exactly that combination last week, we'll take a look at who is playing defense for each of our championship contenders. Buffy has Steelers defense facing off against the Rams. After putting up only 4 points last week, we think they'll bounce back to their low double figures form. As for the Eric's Niners defense, they destroyed Pittsburgh last week and will now face off against the Seattle offense. We can't see anything lower than 15 points here. EDGE: Fat Jubas

We think this is Buffy's Super Bowl to lose, but if these playoffs have shown us anything, it'll be a nail biter!

Toilet Bowl II

Some guys just hate to lose! Even when down and out, after a season that saw them knocked out of the post-season for the first time ever, Evan and his Chunky Monkeys rallied hard to end the season on a high note. They demolished the Tiiite End Jammers on their way to a Toilet Bowl victory by throwing up their highest week of the season. Sure it's not a championship but at least it's something right?

Quarterback Matthew Stafford connected with Calvin Johnson to put up 79.95 points together, and that was more than enough to send Lei's team packing. Heck, Evan even had a ton of guys on his bench -- including an unused 33.2 points from CJ Spiller. The Tiiite End Jammers tried to make a comeback behind Tony Romo's 34.45 points but they just couldn't keep up on the scoreboard despite scoring 101.15 points.

For both teams, the future will be that much brighter with some top picks. Lei's team will need an infusion of new talent, as they're a little light on quality depth. However, with Romo, Maurice Jones-Drew, and Percy Harvin, they are at least better than a year ago. As for Evan, we predict a quick return to contention as they have Ryan Mathews, DeMarco Murray, Felix Jones, CJ Spiller, Antonio Brown, Brandon Marshall, and Julio Jones to select from. Not only that, Jamaal Charles returns next year and a top pick will likely bolster the roster even more. The only real question for them this off-season is which QB to keep: Philip Rivers or Matt Stafford?

Thanks for an entertaining Toilet Bowl II boys, and better luck next year!

Playoffs: Division Finals

Buffy (9-4) vs Dirty Birds (8-5)
After eaking out another miracle win, the Dirty Birds are about to change their name to "The Tebows." Or perhaps "The Gronks" would be more appropriate, as Rob Gronkowski set an NFL record for tight end touchdowns and scored 31 points to lead the upset of high powered Ante Up -- who almost came back on a huge MNF run by the Seahawks defense. Now the newly dubbed Gronky Tebows face off against Buffy, another two time champion. There's a lot on the line here, as historically, both franchises win it all when they reach the Super Bowl round.

Roger's team boasts Wes Welker and that could be a huge factor, as he and Gronkowski tend to trade off big games for New England. It could be Welker's turn this weekend. QB Matt Ryan had a career game during the bye, and he's going to continue his steady leadership. The big question for Buffy is if they'll leave Arian Foster as the lone back or think about substituting Steven Jackson. As of now, Welker is joined by Victor Cruz, A.J. Green, and a very healthy Antonio Gates. Of the four, Cruz seems to be sliding a bit but he's fantastic overall. There's a lot of depth on this team, it's just a question of which players will get the starting nod.

For Jon, he'll have his Big Four wide receivers too, in some combination of Gronkowski, Roddy White, Larry Fitzgerald and either Dwayne Bowe or Miles Austin. The question is if Adrian Peterson will return to balance out the running game. Rookie Roy Helu has been good the past few weeks but he's unlikely to replace All Day. As we noted in a previous post, it's going to take at least a 100+ game to beat Buffy, as they haven't dipped below that plateau in two months. Does Tebow have one more magic upset left in him? We're about to find out!

Fat Jubas (7-6) vs Battle Angel (6-7)
All it took for Battle Angel to dispatch the Fobsters was Drew Brees and some defense. Brees scored 29.45 points and Packers defense added another 20.0 for Vu. Nobody else scored in double digits for them though. However, Jimmy's team didn't fare much better, with Tom Brady exploding for 34.65 points but then his Cowboys defense adding a whopping negative ten points to the till. This has to be the first case of a defense costing a team a playoff win. I mean, without that -10, and having any standard defense in for the Cowboys to accrue one point, the Fobsters would be facing off against division champ Fat Jubas instead.

It looks like Eric's team could be in for an easy weekend if they can just clear the century mark. Heck, scoring 90+ could be enough as Vu's team is dinged up all around. Andre Johnson is iffy, Greg Jennings is out, and there's a murderer's row lineup of Cedric Benson, Mike Tolbert, Malcolm Floyd, and....need I go on? Vu's team is in big trouble this week, and it might not matter what Drew Brees is capable of.

The Fat Jubas are just too strong right now in comparison. They have their own ultra-fantasy quarterback in Cam Newton. They have Frank Gore and Chris Johnson in the backfield. Vincent Jackson will clearly be better than his teammate Floyd. And there's Jimmy Graham around to take a little juice off of Brees' points. To be honest, we don't see how Eric loses this one, short of a total meltdown, as they've been consistently near the century mark all season long. It would be nice to say both of these former champs have an equal chance of winning their second Super Bowl, but the numbers are showing us a beat down by Fat Jubas.

Toilet Bowl II Preview

#1 Chunky Monkeys (7-6) vs #3 Tiiite End Jammers (5-8)
Lei has been pissed off about not having more success the last, well, half decade or so. His Tiiite End Jammers haven't been in a championship game since before Justin Bieber was born. And now they're in the final game of a Toilet Bowl! The Jammers were so fired up that they pounded out an astonishing 156.95 points last weekend to fend off Gang Green's high scoring effort. Behind forty plus points each from Tony Romo and Maurice Jones-Drew, Lei has assured himself of at least a high draft pick next season. Season ticket sales are already up 5%!

The Chunky Monkeys were much less effusive in their victory last weekend, grimly dispatching Ping's Phreaks by a perfunctory score of 105.95 - 98.6. The score was closer than the game was, as MNF gave Marshawn Lynch a shot at the upset, but he couldn't quite deliver. So now the Monkeys are in a championship, of sorts. Their front office released no season ticket holder news but we saw a lot of angry fans protesting outside, demanding their seat licenses back. It must irk owner Evan to no end that his Monkeys are 5-1 over the past few weeks, yet he's only playing for a consolidation prize.

The Jammers have a little streak of their own, three wins in a row, and they are coming off their best back-to-back scores all season. While Romo and Jones-Drew can hardly be expected to duplicate their efforts, there's the potential here for a nice win if Percy Harvin and Marques Colston (combined 47.9 points WK14) can keep up their great pass catching ways.

On the other side, the Monkeys need to just keep doing what they've been doing all season long, bringing a flurry of boom and bust players off the bench and into the lineup. There could be some tough decisions to be made this weekend, as Philip Rivers and Julio Jones are making the case that maybe they should be starting. We know Ryan Mathews, DeMarco Murray, and Antonio Brown are locks, but the mighty Megatron has been very mortal over the past month. We see a pretty even split for the two teams, but we think it would be nice if the Jammers could win something of value this season.

Playoffs Week 1

Battle Angel (6-7) vs Fobsters (6-7)
These two teams split their regular season matchup and only Battle Angel's superior PF gave them the home field advantage. Both teams lost coming into the playoffs -- and scored less than 90 points each -- so neither really has a momentum advantage. During the last four weeks, the Fobsters have only scored over the century mark one time. Battle Angle has done it twice, and was definitely more consistent the other weeks in-between. Still, this will be a close battle.

Vu's team will be led by Drew Brees and his throwing arm. The bad news is that the receiving corps is a little thin right now. Greg Jennings has been good all season, but Andre Johnson got hurt again and Vernon Davis and Malcolm Floyd are barely capable starters. Also, getting a break out season from RB Fred Jackson was great, but now Jackson is done for the year and an ailing Cedric Benson or recent free agent pickup Mike Tolbert will have to step in. That's not good.

As for the Fobsters, they are similarly constructed with a great QB and a wide open passing game. Tom Brady will lead Steve Smith, Jason Witten, Jordy Nelson, and Dez Bryant into their matchup. That should be enough to give them the edge. The problem is, their prize off-season acquisition, Michael Turner, has been slowed by injury recently and probably won't give them much of a ground game either. Look for this game to come down to which quarterback can submit the bigger game and which receiver will explode to help his team to a win!

Ante Up (8-5) vs Dirty Birds (8-5)
Both times they met this season, Ante Up wiped the floor with Dirty Birds, scoring over 120+ each game and beating the flailing birds by an average of 63.225 points. Ouch. However, those games were all played early in the season, before the Tebow Experience. Since switching to Tebow in WK11, the Birds haven't lost, eaking out wins against opponents that scored 68.1, 72, and 87.85 points. Most of those wins came without Adrian Peterson playing either.

After starting off 1-5, the DBs ended the season on a 6-1 streak, which can be attributed to their run-and-shoot attack that featured Larry Fitzgerald, Roddy White, Dwayne Bowe, and most importantly, Rob Gronkowski. The amazing tight end was the sixth best RB/WR/TE in fantasy this year, and has gone over twenty points in four of his last five games.

All of this is impressive but the magic train could stop here as Jon faces off against Jae, owner of the highest scoring team this year -- by a wide margin. Ante Up hasn't scored less than 100 points since WK7, and in fact, only had two games less than that mark this season. They have routinely shot past the 140+ point mark MVP candidate Aaron Rodgers and an astounding ground game led by LeSean McCoy and Ray Rice. Rodgers is the best QB in the land and McCoy and Rice are the top two backs.

The reason Ante Up didn't win a few more games probably had to do with their underpowered receiving crew, which is headlined by Santonio Holmes and a fading Reggie Wayne. It took a late season surge by Laurent Robinson to give Ante Up some consistent play from the position. Odds are good that Ante Up will mow down the Dirty Birds for a win (especially if Peterson remains on the sidelines), but you never know when Tebow magic is in the house!

Toilet Bowl Seedings

#1 Chunky Monkeys (7-6)
The defending champions were flying high from WK8-12, winning four games out of five, vaulting over the century mark each time, and setting themselves up for a playoff spot. Then disaster struck in WK13 as they got creamed by Fat Jubas, losing by 53 points. And so the streak ends; ten straight years in the playoffs is over. Most seasons, a winning record would have preserved Evan's precious record, but they were ultimately undone by the lose of Jamaal Charles early, the inconsistency of Philip Rivers all around, and emphatic answer to "Is Ryan Mathews the next LDT?"

The good news is, Evan's trade for Calvin Johnson was a fantastic move, he used Matthew Stafford to step in for Rivers, and he unearthed DeMarco Murray, Julio Jones, and Antonio Brown. If they can secure a top pick here, the Monkeys will easily be right back in contention. So enjoy their downfall CTDB, it may not last for long! "Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead!"

#2 Gang Green (5-8)
Another two time champ disgraced. The Greenies lost their last four games to go from penthouse to cellar in record time. They even faced the softest schedule in the division. The wheels came off for Greg this year, as his normally golden touch on the waiver wire was nowhere to be found. In fact, there wasn't one guy he picked up that contributed much of anything. And with the three headed "monster" of Peyton Hillis, Shonn Greene, and Ahmad Bradshaw not giving him much of anything, Greg's season went down the tubes. Eli Manning was also forced into action after Matt Schaub left the building.

The upside is that there are some serviceable receivers here, with Hakeem Nicks, Stevie Johnson, and Brandon Lloyd getting steady double digit points. However, without much of a run game, and no magic elixir from the free agent pool, Greg slid to another losing season, just like last year.

#3 Tiiite End Jammers (5-8)
Lei's team hasn't won in the playoffs since their championship in 2003, and they haven't made the post-season since 2008. This year, they were eliminated from contention early, even as the rest of the league fell into extreme parity. Their five total wins is a bit of a mirage, as they won two games at the end to even up the pace a little. And the Jammers can't blame scheduling either, as they faced the easiest schedule in the league.

What's weird is that there are some good pieces here. The trade for Maurice Jones-Drew turned out wonderfully, and Percy Harvin could be a star. Sure Rashard Mendenhall has had a tough season, but at least Tony Romo has been slinging it. Looking over the roster, there does seem to be a big drop off in talent after the top two or three players. Marques Colston is a borderline starter, Sidney Rice has nothing going on, and while WR Eric Decker and RB Willis McGahee have helped the real life Broncos, they've done next to nothing for the Jammers. As our first two time participant in the Toilet Bowl, the Lei will look to do better than their one point loss in last year's first round. Analysts suggest perhaps a name change, to wash the stink off the franchise's recent exploits.

#4 Philadelphia Phreaks (4-9)
Speaking of name changes, Ping's team could use a re-branding too. After finally making the playoffs last season, after who knows how long, the Phreaks regressed right back to their losing ways. They dropped their last five games, didn't break the century mark after WK5, and often struggled to put up even 80+ points as the lowest scoring team in the league.

As usual, GM Ping went all in with the Eagles and this time it was to disastrous results. Michael Vick was still fantasy good -- until he went down in WK10 -- but Jeremy Maclin and DeSean Jackson both suffered through injuries, suspensions, and just terrible play. Jahvid Best also caught the injury bug and last year's sensation, RB LeGarrette Blount had only four games over double digits. The good news is Marshawn Lynch has put up amazing numbers the past five weeks (20.8, 25.2, 15.9, 19.6, 26.8); the bad news is he's only gotten off the Phreaks bench for the last two. A few victories in the Toilet Bowl would be nice here, as this franchise hasn't gotten a post-regular season win since 2006.

Celebrating the Division Winners

This year, our division winners didn't really emerge until the last weekend. In fact, this entire season was full of ups and downs as eight out of ten teams were in contention heading into the last two weeks. I mean, take a look at the standings prior to our last week of the regular season. At the of the day, it was Buffy who conquered Inscrutable Drama Kings and Fat Jubas who stands alone as the leader of the Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses.

Buffy (9-4)
Starting off 0-3, Roger's team was headed toward a horrible season. Aside from Wes Welker, there was nobody else ready to play after the lockout. Then, Buffy turned it all around and won seven straight, surpassing the century mark each time, and only lost one more game the rest of the way. Yes, a gaudy 9-1 mark to close the regular season out and secure a division championship!

Wes Welker was the unquestioned MVP of this team. He was the best receiver in the game this year, and he slowed down but never faltered. Also, free agent Victor Cruz was somehow the fourth best WR this season, and Roger got a few good games out of that pickup. Then there's A.J. Green, who would be fantasy rookie of the year if not for Cam Newton. Green is going to end up at number ten on the overall WR list. Plus there's Pierre Garcon, intriguing deep threat Torrey Smith, and the still injury ridden Antonio Gates around (still a top TE when healthy). A greying receiving crew with Hines Ward and Ochocinco have been completely replaced by promising talent all around.

Despite starting the year off slow with an injury, RB Arian Foster steamed up the charts after WK3, coinciding with Buffy's winning streak. Foster will end up being the third best RB this season, one slot ahead of Matt Forte, who exploded early but tailed off a little by mid-season. Forte could be gone for most of the playoffs, which could hurt Buffy's running game. Old stalwart Steven Jackson will likely be relegated to the scrap heap after this season, but perhaps he has one shining post-season run left in him.

As for that tricky QB spot, Buffy made do with Matt Ryan most of the year, occasionally turning to Matt Cassell and Jay Cutler when needed. Ryan has actually been a top eight option this year, which bodes well for Roger's title hopes. Andy Dalton is on-board to provide some injury relief. Also, Buffy split time between the Ravens and Steelers Defense, with both ranked in the top five all year long. With two championships under their belt (2001 and 2004), Buffy is in prime position to be the first to get their third trophy.

Fat Jubas (7-6)
Facing the toughest schedule in their division, Eric's team needed to also score the most points to secure a hard fought division title. That's two in a row for the Jubas. Last year's division title was a nice rebound from a poor year in 2009, but after being upset by the Fobsters in the divisional finals, this team wanted another chance to chase the championship.

Eric's team didn't really have a dominant run this season, as they started 2-2, never won more than two games in a row, and more or less alternated wins and losses to become the only team over .500 in their division. Their two best players this season were QB Cam Newton and Jimmy Graham, waiver wire pickups who didn't even arrive on the team until WK2 and WK3 respectively. Graham was the second best TE and would be the fourth best WR/TE in combined charts, so it's obvious he is tremendous.

Killer Cam was the fourth best QB this year, and he saved his best game for the division winning kill by dropping 42.8 points in WK13. There's a good chance that Cam will be the face of this franchise, and not Peyton Manning, who could be unceremoniously dumped after this season. Actually, there's 100% chance Cam is the new face of the franchise and Manning is headed to the re-draft. Did you think anyone would say that six months ago?!

You could say that the entire rest of the Jubas's roster was a disappointment this season. Yes, Vincent Jackson was a top eight receiver, but there were an awful lot of low single digit games on his resume this year. Anquan Boldin had a nice mid-season stretch but barely averaged ten points per game. He played a lot as the third WR for Jubas, but probably because there wasn't much better behind him. Tony Gonzalez was about the same as Boldin, Dallas Clark was a disaster sans Peyton, and Burress caught TDs but was hardly used.

And how about those running backs? Chris Johnson was so bad that there was talk of cutting him. He's picked up his game just in time for the playoffs, but Johnson's post-holdout campaign has to be disappointing. As for Frank Gore, who led a resurgent 49ers team, he's been shackled by injury ever since WK10, and he could sit in favor of the surprising Reggie Bush, who has been a nice surprise this season. Johnson and Gore were supposed to be top five backs, not top fifteenth. In sum, the Jubas perserved through what could have been a tough season, with franchise guys Manning and Johnson practically useless. Instead they hawked the waiver wire, emerged with some new cornerstones, and will be looking to advance to another Super Bowl.

Final Standings 2011