Power Rankings

10. Tiiite End Jammers (1-4)

The rebuilding Jammers have probably hit an all-time low. Besides Tony Romo and Rashard Mendenhall, the rest of the Jammer lineup is constantly shuffled with the likes of Beanie Wells, Mark Clayton, Michael Crabtree, and Percy Harvin. We like the talent here … all the names above have the supreme talent but just need to find consistencies. As they say, no where to go but up. I think we’ll see a much better Jammers team in future but just not this year.

9. Battle Angels (1-4)

Its been quite a stumble for Vu’s Angels. After a historic 2008 championship run, Vu’s hit a bit of a stumbling block coming out of the gates this season. Drew Brees hasn’t quite been himself this year. Despite a solid 7 td performance, Brees has only been the 6th best QB this year. Significantly behind Manning, Rivers and the surprising Kyle Orton. Even more importantly, Vu’s receiver core which has been rated the best in the league for a few years have been underperforming. Andre Johnson and Greg Jennings have both been averaging less than 10 points per game. Malcolm Floyd has only been slightly better but extremely less consistent. Perhaps its time for Vu to start the infamous TO (53 points). Vu’s running backs have also been extremely mediocre – surprising given the expected leadership of DeAngelo Williams. Shockingly Williams has been averaging just over 8 points per contest. If you boil it all down, the whole team has been underperforming. Vu will have to find the right mix soon to right the ship.

8. DirteByrdeez (2-3)

The Dirty Birds are officially a mess. Coming off of Flaccogate and no Kickergate, the league’s most active coach has been shuttling players in and out of his lineup trying desperately to find the right combination. Adrian Peterson and Miles Austin continue to be solid but the Birds have been trying to find the right quarterback between Flacco and Mattie Ryan. The Birds have also been bitten by the injury bug with Larry Fitz, Michael Turner and now Michael Vick. Despite acquiring to the best performing waiver picks this year in Austin Collie and Vick, the Birds have yet to find the right combination for wins. The Birds scrapped out an ugly win versus the Monkeys in Week 5 but can they continue this streak? Averaging just over 80 points a week … yikes.

7. Gang Green (2-3)

Another stumbling Superbowl champ. The 2009 champ has really stumbled in the past 3 weeks with 3 consecutive losses. Its hard to diagnose the problem here but its clear that expected stars are just not performing. Shonn Greene has taken a clear back seat to LT, Randy Moss has literally fallen off the cliff. To put it in perspective, Moss has less points than Louis Murphy. In their place, we see new starters in Peyton HIllis and Brandon Lloyd. While there definitely is talent on the roster … there are many moving parts.

6. Ante Up (2-3)

Jae has a great quarterback (Aaron Rodgers) and a great running game anchored by Ahmad Bradshaw and Ray Rice. However, it’s the receiving core that’s been a big let down. Outside of Reggie Wayne, the receivers have been very inconsistent. First round pick, Mike Sims-Walker, has done literally nothing in two games. Specializing in bagels, MSW is now on the cusp of being released by Ante Up management. This is probably going to be another 5-8-ish season for Ante Up.

5. Fobsters (3-2)

Despite a second place record, the Fobsters lineup is still in a state of disarray. Outside of Tom Brady and Megatron, the Fobster lineup is mixed with 3 TEs and the likes of Mike Tolbert and Caddy Williams (who was somehow a keeper this year). There is young talent on this team – led by Dez Bryant, Mike Williams and Santonio Holmes but they will need time to develop.

4. Philadelphia Phreaks (2-2-1)

An injection of home-run hitting Jahvid Best seemed like a much deserved moved for the Phreaks. After years of 1st round running back busts, the speedy best burst onto the scene with some incredible runs. Reminiscent of Barry Sanders, Best was on a path of rookie stardom until the dreaded “turf toe monster” apparently caught up. While still a sure keeper, the Phreaks need to find a way to keep their star players healthy. The talent is there with MJD, Jahvid and Eagles WR combo of Desean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin. Even mid-season free agent pick-up, Kyle Orton, is currently a top 5 QB. Lost in all of this is that Phreaks are on their way to their first playoffs in a long time! (fingers crossed)

3. Chunky Monkeys (3-2)

The regular season champs have lost a bit of their charm. After pulling out 3 straight wins, the Monkeys stumbled in week 5 … and stumbled hard. Still trying to find the right running combo, the Monkeys have become a passing team. The combo of Rowdy Roddy, Quan, and B-Marsh are quickly proving to be the best WR set in the land. The key now is to find the right running combo between Jamaal Charles (continued time share), Ryan Mathews (ankle problems) and LT (can he continue taking carries away from Shonn Greene). The Monkeys are likely playoff contenders but can they win it all?

2. Buffy (3-1-1)

The IDK division may have a new leader – team Buffy. A win over division rival, the Monkeys, this week, will go a long way in cementing their place as the new division leader. New found superstars in Arian Foster and Matt Forte have been unexpected surprises. Even Steven Jackson has found less playing time because of their successes. On the flip side, the passing game is anchored by the truly incomparable Antonio Gates. Gates is the top pass catcher in the land and combined with Arian Foster, the two are the two top scoring non-QB position players so far this year. Wow.

1. Jubas (5-0)

The new Chunky Monkeys. Undefeated. Except for a minor stumble last week, the Jubas are on cruise control right now, smashing their opponents with the lethal combo of Manning, CJ2K, and Frank Gore. The trade of Brandon Marshall has forced the Jubas to resort to deploying multiple tight end formations including Dallas Clark and Vernon Davis as regular starters. However, the combination has proved lethal. Averaging nearly 110 points a contest, the Jubas are out for blood and blood they are getting.

One Tight End Not Featured this Weekend

This week marks a CTDB event so cosmically large, it threatens to bring down CBS Sportsline. Yes, we are talking about the Fat Jubas vs. the Fobsters, but not because they are topping the SMG division.

No, this marks a sure to be record-breaking Tight Endxtravaganza. With each team featuring three tight ends each, this Sunday could very well blind the entire league.

The players know what's at stake. Said Vernon Davis: "Dallas, Tony G, and me, we've been waiting all year for this! We'll come out and show them who's tightest!"

Of course, this all requires the cooperation of Fobsters GM Jimmy, who is rumored to be sitting Jason Witten this weekend. "I don't care for no record. We gotta get Jason healthy!" fumed Jimmy. GM Eric of the Jubas had no comment when asked if he would consider starting a 4th TE in either co-captain RBs Frank Gore or Chris Johnson's slot.

LDT a Starter Again?

According to Monkey sources, LaDainian Tomlinson has been taking first team snaps during practice and is expected to be in the starting lineup this week. Wiith Pierre Thomas nursing an ailing knee and Jamaal Charles on bye, Charger brass have been increasingly looking into having Tomlinson move into his familiar role – starting tailback. Reports indicate the Tomlinson will be paired with Ryan Mathews – matching up the former Charger superstar with the current Charger rookie tailback. This would be the first starting opportunity for LT after 3 weeks of watching from the sidelines.

Ryan Mathews told reporters this morning, “They haven’t told me anything but I would relish an opportunity to play with LT. LT is a legend in Monkey franchise history and it’d be my honor to start alongside him. We have a lot of weapons on this team. You guys saw it last week with what Quan, Roddy, and Marsh-dog were able to do with Philip. For us running backs, we just need to carve out a few yards on first down and then enjoy the rest.”

Chargers GM, Evan, in his weekly conference call said “Our coaches will make the final call but I would certainly be very excited about seeing LT out there. He’s been doing great in practice and has been a leader in the clubhouse. We are very excited about having him here and his presence no doubt has a positive effect on Ryan, JC and PT Cruiser. Coach has put in a few plays just for LT and it wouldn’t surprise me if we all got to see the old LT leap for a few more scores this weekend.”