Tiki Leaves Town

The last starting member of the Dirty Birds craptastic team from last year has been cut. Yes fanboys and superfans, versatile RB Tiki Barber has been waived from the team that he joined late last season. With his departure from the team, all vestiges of the Dirty Birds dirty season has been cut, save for inconsistent WR Ashley Lelie.

To follow the convoluted path of how the Birds acquired Mr Barber, here is our trade tracker expert, Mel Kiper Sr. "It began with the innocent trade of M Vick, A Green and M Harrison for D Bledsoe, R Williams, J Horn and C Rogers. Soon after that trade, C Rogers was moved for M Bennett. Bennet was moved, along with A Boldin, for T Barber and I Hilliard. And now, Tiki is unceremoniously dumped by the Birds youth minded management."

So how does the "worst trade ever" stack up for the Birds? Almost a full year after the "huge mistake," Bledsoe was cut and Ricky Williams retired. J Horn was moved for young backs S Jackson, W McGahee and WR J McCareins earlier these season. C Rogers turned into M Bennett who turned into Tiki, who just got cut. So, less than two years past a championship core, the Birds have Jackson, McGahee and McCareins instead of Vick, Ahman and Marvin. Sounds fair doesn't it?

Just one week removed from an outstanding WK1 performance, Tiki was understandably upset about his lack of a job heading into WK2. "Last week I ran up and down the field, I broke big runs, I scored a TD, how can they cut me?" Vowing to never set foot in Deion Sanders Stadium ever again, Tiki stormed out from a meeting with GM Jon Yang. "Bastard, see what I do for an opposing team, this move just goes to prove how idiotic management has been for the past year. Retards!"

Asked by reporters why a trade wasn't pursued, GM Yang could only shrug and say, "There was no interest in Tiki, he's kind of washed up you know? And confidence around the league in him is not as high as it once was." This was a business decision, nothing more. We have a stable of young backs and receivers and as much as we needed veteran leadership, we couldn't part with any of our emerging talent. So, we wish Mr Barber the best of luck on his next team."

In other news, Donald Driver was also cut from the Birds roster. Not much uproar was caused. Driver left the building mumbling "They cut me for a defense? What? Who even needs a defense?" When informed that Tiki Barber was cut for a kicker, Driver smiled and said "Oh really? Well, i feel better now!"

In other other news, the Dirty Birds signed Natalie Portman, Kristin Kreuk, Scarlett Johannson and for good measure, Jennifer Connelly and Monica Belluci to be sideline reporters and personal assistants for the team president. "If we can't win a game this year, at least we'll have hot chicks on the field."