8 Questions

Shanghai, China - June 8, 2004

With the 2004 CTDB season just around the corner, we here in the commissioner's office thought we'd take a look at 8 burning preseason questions for the upcoming season -

1) Are the Battle Angels planning on going with the empty backfield approach?
We feel this is pertinent when the best running back on the roster is one Eddie George - yeah, the same guy who was supposed to be released on June 1, and the guy who is now engaged in discussions with management about a pay cut. Even if he plays, let's not forget it's the same guy who has struggled to average 3 yards a carry for the past few years. After Eddie? There's the 55 year old Curtis Martin who looks like he's a better fit for the AARP than for the end zone. Moe Williams and Warrick Dunn round out the RB core, two injury-prone guys who are currently slated to be on the short end of a runningback-by-committe platoon. For the Angels, there's always the draft, where stud rookies and quality #2 RBs await.

2) Are the Chunky Monkeys just CTDB's version of the NBA's Sacramento Kings?
That is, an extremely talented team that always seems ready to go the distance but ends up being a bigger tease than that underclassman you took to the senior prom. Let's face it, with a roster sporting the likes of Ladanian Tomlinson, Shaun Alexander, Peyton Manning, Darrell Jackson and David Boston, our sights were set high. But again, the Monkeys succeeded in convincing everyone that they were ready to go the distance - LT routinely ripped off 75 yard screen passes for TDs, Shaun Alexander figured out how to not score all of his TDs in one half and to spread them around, David Boston actually played, Darrell Jackson caught fire, and Peyton Manning was, well, Peyton Manning. Maybe it's something in the water at Monkey Headquarters, maybe it's the management. We just don't know. But we figure that like the King's Maloof brothers, it's only a matter of time before Monkey management realizes something needs to be done and shakes things up.

3) Is Shrapnel GM Eric-L really planning on stepping in and playing QB himself?
We were reluctant at first to give credence to these rumors flying around about Mr. Liao taking snaps behind center, but when we looked at the Shrapnel roster, we realized he might not be kidding. A late season trade for Steve "I finally missed a game because of injury" McNair looks to be a stop-gap measure for last year's playoffs instead of the long term answer, and Tommy Maddox's bumpy 2003 campaign leaves us wondering if Shrapnel will once again be the only team to enter the draft without a signal caller. With 5 solid keepers to be had in the Shrapnel RB and WR ranks, it's not hard to envision. However, heading into the season with Joey Harrington at the helm might be even harder to envision.

4) What's the over-under on the Phreaks' win total at the end of 2004? 1? 2?
Seriously, after a sterling 2-11 2003 campaign, do the Phreak players even believe they can win a game anymore? Sure, there was the credible explanation of the league's toughest schedule, but 2-11 has to be damaging to anyone's psyche - anyone not named "robocop" anyways. It would be beating a dead horse to say that the Phreaks need help at WR - with top 5 talent at the QB, RB1, and RB2 positions, it's difficult to see how this team struggled so mightily last season. Then you realize that the Phreaks last year lost games by scores like 109 - 106, 123 - 102, 108 - 95, and 115 - 91, and you see how it's possible. We've been over this before, but it bears repeating - during the 2003 regular season, Phreak opponents averaged 11 points more against them than against Flaming Shrapnel. 11 points - that's like playing 10 on 11 every week. No wonder. Compared to the Monkeys, who faced the league's second toughest schedule, Phreak opponents averaged 5.2 more points - that's like playing against an extra kicker every week. So, with a little help from lady luck, and perhaps a wide receiver or two, the Phreaks could be poised for a dramatic reversal of fortune in 2004.

5) How many games will Michael Vick last in 2004?
The guess here is less than or equal to 10. Don't get us wrong, we love the guy and the world of athleticism he brings to the QB position. But let's face facts, the guy's not yet a refined quarterback - and who doesn't cringe when Vick gets blindsided by an enraged, 250-pound 'backer as he gallops down the field. Hey Michael - one word of advice: "SLIDE!" Unless he settles down in the pocket and/or learns how to slide to avoid some of those nasty hits he takes, Vick's career is going to be a short one.

6) Who's got the best keeper core of RBs heading into 2004?
[Notice we said "keeper core," so yes, age is a factor]
Several teams immediately come to mind - there's the aforementioned combo of Portis and Lewis in Philadelphia, the Monkey's pairing of Tomlinson and Alexander, Ahman Green and Priest Holmes in Jammer land, Fragile Freddy and Edge for Ante Up. For age and injury concerns, however, we eliminate TE Jammers (Holmes) and Ante Up (Fred Taylor). Which leaves us with the Phreaks and the Monkeys. To us, choosing between Portis and Lewis and Tomlinson and Alexander is like choosing between Eva Mendes and Salma Hayek - while you have arguments for or against either one, at the end of the day, you'd be pretty damned happy to be going home with either one of them. So let's look at depth - the 3rd RB on the Monkey roster is Marcel Shipp. Shipp is penciled in as the starter this year in Arizona, though we note that he is playing with an unproven QB and that he did not score a TD last season despite rushing for over 800 yards. The Phreaks sport Brian Westbrook at RB3. Westbrook, the versatile speedster from Villanova posted 945 combined yards last year and 11 TDs - now sharing time with only Correll Buckhalter instead of Buckhalter and Staley, we see only upside to Westbrook's numbers. However, in total, due to slight questions about Westbrook's durability (he missed one game last year due to a triceps injury), and due to Jamal Lewis' ongoing struggles with the law, we call this one a draw between the Phreaks and Monkeys.

7) Who's going to be the surprise team of 2004?
We'd say that the Phreaks have the best chance of posting a last-to-first type story this season, but we wouldn't really be surprised at that. So, we give this one to the DIRTeByRDeez. The DBs finished last season last in their division with a 5-8 record. While the trade of M. Vick leaves them with an apparent hole at QB, we are extremely high on the young Byron Leftwich. Leftwich has reportedly worked very hard this offseason to learn the playbook and develop timing and chemistry with his wide receivers. Corey Dillon, finishing last season on the bench for the Bengals (that one's gotta hurt), finds himself in New England with a chance for a clean slate and with a chance to play for a winning team for the first time in his professional life. Dillon, who has plenty of life left in his legs, figures to receive the vast majority of the carries in Foxboro, and we feel that he has at least 2-3 more double-digit TD years in him. And while there's no Marvin Harrison or Terrell Owens in the WR core, Joe "on the" Horn and Plaxico "don't spike a live ball" Burress form a solid enough core to carry this team a long ways.

8) Who's going to be the [worst] surprise team of 2004?
That is, who's going from first-to-worst? The bet here is Flaming Shrapnel, with or without Eric Liao at quarterback. That Flaming finished first in its division at 8-8, is more a testament to luck and a kind schedule than it was to the scorching play of anyone not named Anquan. Heading into 2004, the Shrapnel [aside from the above QB issues] have several question marks at RB. Thomas Jones has received a lot of attention now that he is once again a starter in Chicago. But can Rex Grossman really do enough to take the pressure off a guy who's been labeled as a "bust" for three straight years? Domanick Davis appears relatively solid, but was only the best rookie from a very weak 2003 rookie RB class. Michael Bennett has yet to prove that he is much other than an injury prone track star, and William Green may never be able to run without looking over his shoulder again [certainly a rather unfortunate affliction for a running back] after being tragically [some might say comically] stabbed in the back by his finacee. While we admit that Terrell Owens, Anquan Boldin and Eric Moulds is a beastly combo of receivers, counting on WRs in fantasy football is like counting on Smarty Jones in the Belmont Stakes.

So there you have it - 8 questions and 8 answers to tide you over and through the preseason workouts and prognistications. Here's to football!