Grading the 2011 Draft

A summer that threatened lockout and a late beginning to the NFL. Whew, glad we dodged that one. Officially kicking off our second decade, Catch the Damn Ball heads into its eleventh season with the Chunky Monkeys on top and quite a few past champions sitting at the bottom of the standings. Let's take a look at what everyone reloaded with, during an exciting and trade heavy off-season. These grades mainly reflect what was done with the draft slot opportunity, and how the players acquired project to help their teams this upcoming season.

1. Battle Angels
After winning the inaugural Toilet Bowl -- an accomplishment since the Angels had the worst record last year -- Vu knew exactly who to target with his number one pick. Because he already had Saints QB Drew Brees in the fold, Vu stepped away from Mark Ingram toward Dolphins rookie RB Daniel Thomas. Pundits are split on which rookie RB will have the most impact, but Thomas has just as good a chance as anyone else. There's a clear need for another breakout back on this team, as keepers DeAngelo Williams and Cedric Benson are probably middle of the pack due to situation or talent. While we like Fred Jackson, he'll hardly be the new face of the franchise. And seventh round pick Ronnie Brown is an afterthought.

The Battle Angels will be primarily an aerial team again this season, as Austin Collie, Vernon Davis, James Jones, and Malcolm Floyd will be productive complements next to Andre Johnson and Greg Jennings. Vu also went all in with the Pack, by scooping up their defense in RD6. Even with a number one overall pick, this NFL draft offered no clear superstars, so Vu went with a mixed collecton of young veterans with upside. We gave the Angels draft last year an A-, but that actually turned out to be way off as they bottomed out. Perhaps this low relatively low grade will end up opposite of predictions also.
Grade: B

2. Dirty Birds
After a pair of off-season trades, this franchise went from having two top ten backs to possibly going run and shoot for the immediate future. Michael Turner was essentially exchanged for Roddy White, and the Birds had only Knowshon Moreno as a second back heading into the draft. GM Jon went RB heavy with his mid-round picks, grabbing rookie Roy Helu, Mike Tolbert, and Rashad Jennings in successive rounds. None of them are starters -- same with eighth round pick Javon Ringer -- and all are involved in timeshares. Hum.

The good news is the arrival of Dwayne Bowe and Michael Crabtree give the WR corps a very strong look. White, Larry Fitzgerald, Miles Austin, and Bowe are the best receiving group in the league, and they'll have to be as the Birds look to spread the field. This year's two-headed QB attack will be Ben Roethlisberger and Josh Freeman. Without the addition of Bowe, we're thinking this draft might have been less than average as there is still gaping holes next to Adrian Peterson.
Grade: C+

3. Tiiite End Jammers
Right before the draft started, GM Lei shipped off Michael Vick in exchange for RB Maurice Jones-Drew, giving his backfield a great one-two punch. With Rashard Mendenhall, Jones-Drew, and Ryan Grant in the fold, the Jammers needed some receivers to pair with Percy Harvin. The drafting department went right to work, using five of their first six picks on pass catchers. Marques Colston and Hines Ward have both seen better days but they're still able to contribute. Young guys like Sidney Rice, Mike Thomas, Johnny Knox, and Jacoby Ford all have potential, and should one of them follow through, that would greatly boost the Jammers' chances of finally returning to the playoffs.

The Vick for MJD trade also involved a fifth round swap, which basically amounted to RBs Marshawn Lynch for Ryan Torain. We're not sure if Torain will see much time in a crowded Redskins backfield, but the Jammers probably won't need him much this season. QB Tony Romo has been given the vote of confidence and Lei will need him to stay healthy this time around.
Grade: B+

4. Gang Green
Traditionally, the draft is the appetizer to Gang Green's in-season free agent meals. Their draft plan is generally this: Grab a few Michigan guys here, draft a couple of New York players there, and wait for the waiver wire to open. Last year's keeper core was mostly decimated due to injury and retirement so this year's keeper five features three players acquired through free agency last year: Peyton Hillis, Steve Johnson, and Brandon Lloyd. Disappointing Shonn Greene was the only returning player, along with last year's first round pick, breakout WR star Hakeem Nicks.

This year first rounder yielded another Giants player with nice upside in Ahmad Bradshaw, who has excellent potential. RB BenJarvus Green-Ellis won't score 13 TDs again but he'll prove a useful backup. Unsurprisingly, Matt Schaub and Eli Manning are the QBs Greg went with, both very familiar to this franchise. Braylon Edwards, Kellen Winslow, and Roy Williams rounded out the draft, none of whom we're much excited about. We like Bradshaw, the two quarterbacks and Jets Defense, but really the draft has never been crucial to this team's success.
Grade: C+

5. Ante Up
GM Jae has been on a roll with his drafts recently, unearthing Aaron Rodgers, Ray Rice, and LeSean McCoy. With his backfield beautifully positioned for the future, Jae was looking to add some depth behind fading Reggie Wayne and promising Kenny Britt. First rounder Santonio Holmes is going to have a big comeback season and we think he's a steal here. Second rounder Mario Manningham could be headed for a big step up too, after proving he was a big playmaker for the Giants last season. Heck, even Lance Moore could step in for a few games if necessary.

Even with Rice and McCoy locked up, Jae felt the need to grab four more RBs -- Jonathan Stewart, CJ Spiller, Joseph Addai, Michael Bush. Every one of those guys, save Spiller, has proven to be useful in some capacity in their careers. As backups they'll be more than enough, and one could serve as useful trait bait if necessary. We are big fans of Jae's draft and think he made all the right moves to stay in contention after making it to the divisional finals last year. True story: Ante Up scored the most points during the record season last year.
Grade: A

6. Philadelphia Phreaks
The bold trade for Michael Vick is going to determine whether or not the Phreaks have back-to-back winning seasons for the first time in their franchise's history. Vick is a game changer and if he can deliver on even 75% of his promise, the Phreaks can book a spot in the playoffs. Of course, giving up their only reliable running back created a huge hole in the backfield. GM Ping moved to fill that quickly with LeGarrette Blount, who came on really strong during his rookie year. He'll fill one spot in the empty backfield but we're not sold on Jahvid Best staying healthy -- but watch out if he can! This year's rookie RB, Ryan Williams, just ruptured his patella tendon and is already out for the season. That means Ping is going to need Best, Marshawn Lynch, or Falcons' rookie backup Jacquizz Rogers to be there behind Blount. We think they'll need more.

What the Phreaks do have is an outstanding passing attack, anchored by DeSean Jackson, Jeremy Maclin, and Mike Wallace, who had a fantastic breakout season last year. Pierre Garcon, Davone Bess, and Deion Branch will provide depth but we can't see any of them hitting the field behind that fabulous starting trio, short of injury or bye weeks. Ping went all in with the Eagles -- as usual -- by selecting their defense and special teams in RD4. An ex-Eagle, Kevin Kolb, will serve as Vick's backup this season and he's sure to see the field at some point.
Grade: C+, downgraded due to the unfortunate Williams injury

7. Fat Jubas
A last to first performance for the Jubas. That's what happens when you trade for Peyton Manning, Chris Johnson, and have Darren McFadden finally emerge. The Jubas have an intimidating roster, with Frank Gore also on-board, and last year's draft freebie, WR Vincent Jackson back in Chargers' powder blue for a full season. The Jubas have never had back-to-back winning seasons either, which is a bit surprising. We're going to find out real quick if last year's success can be duplicated as Manning is suffering from a scary neck issue still, and Johnson is holding out for mega-bucks.

Eric loves his veterans, and especially his tight ends. Last year's team featured four or five TEs on the roster and this year the Jubas have Dallas Clark, Marcedes Lewis, and Owen Daniels ready to go too. Next to Jackson, we're looking at a bounce back season for Anquan Boldin and maybe a little something from Plaxico Burress. With this many veteran pass catchers around, the Jubas will be fine, if not necessarily spectacular passing the ball. Sleeper rookie DeMarco Murray could start very soon, and we like him ten times as much as Brandon Jacobs, who doesn't offer much more than a few yards and some touchdown work.
Grade: B

8. Buffy
Despite being upset in the first round last year by Ante Up, Buffy had a very successful 2010 campaign. Second best record in the league, the second most points scored, Arian Foster emerging as a fantasy monster, and nice multi-dimensional seasons from Matt Forte and Stephen Jackson. There were a lot of failures in the receivers department though, as Wes Welker was off his game and Antonio Gates was dinged up quite a bit. Enter rookie AJ Green, the new hope for a healthy passing game. With the Bengals stuck in offensive purgatory, Green is a great pick but likely at least a year away. That means Chad Ochocinco will have to step up his game -- a 50-50 toss up. The WR we're high on is actually Danny Amendola, who will have a more experienced Sam Bradford tossing him the rock.

The QBs Roger tagged to start off the season are Matt Ryan and Jay Cutler, with Ryan liking getting most of the early work. In an interesting move, Buffy drafted both the Ravens and Steelers defenses. While a defense in RD6 isn't necessarily too early, two of them in two rounds makes little to no sense. Explanation? If Green is slow to start and Ochocino can't link up with Tom Brady, we foresee either Forte or Jackson to be shipped off for receiving help, assuming Foster stays healthy. Reggie Bush was drafted in the late rounds to provide some media pull as an ex of Kim Kardashian.
Grade: C

9. Fobsters
It's clear that the once much mocked Fobsters are now a perennial contender. With three playoff appearances in four years and last year's shocking run to the Super Bowl, semi-new owner Jimmy has turned this franchise around. After inheriting a team that fueled a 2-23-1 record over his first two seasons, Jimmy has been running a 0.500 (26-26) operation since. We gave Fobsters a "D" for last year's draft, which filled no holes in the gaping backfield. However, rookies Dez Bryant and Mike Williams both impressed and have upgraded the upside at receiver by a factor of ten. Veteran TE Jason Witten returns and he'll provide his usual 80+ catches and 1000 yards. With all those receivers in hand, the Fobsters made an off-season trade to turn franchise receiver Calvin Johnson into running back Michael Turner. While Johnson is a consensus top three receiver, getting a dependable RB was very important for this franchise. This gives the Fobsters their only legitimate top ten back since Deuce McAllister.

Now for 2011's draft. Frankly, we love it. Getting a top rookie running back at ninth overall is huge. Even if Mark Ingram is just one cog in the Saints' offensive juggernaut, he can't be any worse than Reggie Bush (originally drafted by the Fobsters and finally un-keepered this off-season). With his seventh rounder, Jimmy swept up Ingram's teammate, Pierre Thomas, for insurance. While the "real" Steve Smith is no longer a franchise player, he's worth a shot in case he gets traded. Heck, talented but trapped in Buffalo Lee Evans was moved to Baltimore recently, which will greatly enhance both his and Joe Flacco's value. The Fobsters took Evans and Flacco in RD4 and RD6 respectively, pre-trade. The season ending injury to Cardinals' rookie Ryan Williams opens the door for Beanie Wells, another slight boost. And if Tim Hightower can make some moves in Washington, Jimmy might finally have a decent ground game to complement Brady and his stable of pass catchers.
Grade: A-

10. Chunky Monkeys
It's clear that even if Ryan Mathews emerges this season, the trade for him that cost the Monkeys Chris Johnson was a lopsided one. Then again, the Monkeys won their second title without the services of Johnson, and are primed to do it again. Jamaal Charles may split time with a bigger back but his stats are out of this world. He's a top fantasy option and is only getting better. The less said of Mathews right now the better, and he represents a huge hole at the second RB position. With too many keeper worthy players around, Evan had to make some tough cuts, including Dwayne Bowe and Anquan Boldin. The good news is their last few trades maneuvers resulted in a whopping three second round picks for a defending champion. Very dangerous.

After nabbing Felix Jones in RD1, GM Evan snatched up TE Jermichael Finley, rookie Julio Jones, and WR Santana Moss. By the time other people were just gathering their rosters together, the Monkeys had their lineup and backups all filled out. This Falcons' fan may be a bit biased but WR Julio Jones is going to be tremendous. With the recent swap of Roddy White for Calvin Johnson, Evan won't even have to worry about inter-team conflict in the future. While we're not entirely sold on Brandon Marshall, Monkeys' management is convinced he's headed for a bounce back year. Old hand Santana Moss will likely fit into the third receiver slot with Johnson and Marshall to start the season. Unless Mr. Irrelevant, Robert Meachem, wants a crack at the starting gig.

We're still very concerned about that hole next to Jamal Charles. Felix Jones is a pass catching threat, but not the sort of runner Evan generally likes. LaDainian Tomlison is returning though, and it would be quite amusing if he has another season that is better than his Chargers' heir apparent. QB Philip Rivers is the centerpiece of the whole Monkeys' operation, and backup Matt Stafford will likely never see the field. To be honest, we're surprised at the lack of promise in the Monkeys' draft, outside of the two Jones'. The three second rounders seem slightly wasted? All Evan was hunting for to defend his championship seems to be solid performers who may or may not be up to the challenge.
Grade: B-

One Primate to Rule Them All

Historical Record
After a rough couple of years that featured only a 38-22-1 record, the Chunky Monkeys decided they had enough in 2006 and went on a 12-1 tear that threatened to rip apart the fabric of the CTDB universe. That one loss was a squeaker in WK6 versus Buffy, and it took 163 points to do it. Two weeks later, the Monkeys set the regular season high for points in a game with 178 points -- they were coming off of 149 and 153 point weeks. That year they set the record for Most Points Scored (2054), Highest Average Game Score (136.93), Most Wins (14), Best Average Point Differential (+40.60), and Most High Week Scores (10). They literally rewrote the record book. Oh, and they came back to avenge that one loss in the playoffs, annihilating Buffy 128-70 in the division finals before winning Super Bowl VI.

In the past five years, the Monkeys have compiled a regular season record of 47-18, won every division title during that span, been to four Super Bowls, and taken home two championship trophies. A case can be made that the Chunky Monkeys have been the greatest franchise in CTDB history. They have an all time record of 103-53-2, a sterling 65.8% winning percentage. That's twenty more wins than their next closest competitor in that category by the way. They've never had more than five losses in a season, been under 0.500 only once (!), and... Okay, we could go on. It's hard to argue that CM haven't been one of the best ever. The question is: Why isn't that a definitive "The Monkeys are the best ever!"

Well, the answer to that is because the Monkeys were for a very long time perceived as chokers. Despite being favored many times and usually heading into the playoffs cushioned with a bye, the juggernaut Monkeys have also folded just as many times as they've won. Sure we're rating them on an impossible scale but when your team is perceived as the most talented year after year, the fan base expects rings. In their first five seasons, the Monkeys regularly ripped off regular season wins only to collapse in the playoffs. The one time they made it to the Super Bowl, they lost to the Fat Jubas without putting up much of a fight.

Insert Peyton face.

There are some people who would argue that other teams have a spot at the top of the charts. Just two years ago, Green Team seemingly ended the Team of the Decade debate. In head to head matchups, the Greenies are the only team to have a winning record versus the Monkeys, none bigger than their stunning upset in Super Bowl VIII. Some had argued that other franchises' two championships make them the best team ever. For awhile, that was a viable stance.

Oh, but wait, the Monkeys have their two championships now too. If they can win another championship soon, while avoiding another Super Bowl upset, they could make their case for the Greatest Team of All Time, forget just Team of the Decade. Right now, they are simply "The Winningest Team" or "The Most Consistent Team." We feel like the Monkeys need to have more wins in the Super Bowl than they do losses before we're ready to give them the crown. Plus we need a reason to believe that the rest of us have a chance.

Core Roster
At the beginning of our first keeper season in 2001, a younger Evan drafted Peyton Manning and a Chargers' rookie named LaDainian Tramayne Tomlinson. Those two stalwarts laid the groundwork for a decade of success. Operating with the philosophy that two stud running backs wins games, Evan featured Fred Taylor and Terrell Davis early on, before turning to LDT as the featured back. Blessed with both Peyton and Brett Favre, an early season trade netted WRs Johnnie Morton and Keenan McCardell. However, a weak WR corps would plague the Monkeys for years. Joe Horn emerged as a serviceable first receiver but he was far from the superstar that Evan coveted. Other receivers that first season included Jerome Pathon, Germane Crowell, Derrick Mason, and Wayne Chrebet.

Superior running backs would come and go over the years as the Monkeys became famous for their awesome pairings. Shaun Alexander ran alongside LDT for many years, both men churning into endzones on the regular. Then when Alexander was traded, Larry Johnson stepped up to the plate. Gifted with an eye for drafting young RBs, Evan always had many an emerging runner on his roster. Frank Gore, Matt Forte, Chris Johnson, and Jamaal Charles all came up through the Monkeys' farm system. Many of the RBs would be shuffled around but the Monkeys always had a stable of studs. At one point in 2009, the roster boasted LDT, Chris Johnson, Forte, Charles, and Larry Johnson. Goodness!

The passing game, on the other hand, usually lacked consistent performers. An aging Jimmy Smith faded away, Joe Horn was traded after two seasons, David Boston never panned out. A trade for Javon Walker seemed to amply fill the hole at third receiver but Walker's best year (singular) was already behind him. Same with Chad Johnson, who was unceremoniously cut the same season he arrived via trade for an declining Larry Johnson. Donald Driver and Darrell Jackson were steady veterans but never quite the stars Evan was looking for. A string of young receiving talent would go on to bomb: Kevin Dyson, Travis Taylor, Brandon Lloyd, Michael Clayton, DJ Hackett, Jerricho Cotchery, Anthony Gonzalez, just to name a few. The Monkeys did draft Andre Johnson but early on he would proved to be injury prone and was eventually released. By 2008, the Monkeys did settle into a nice core of Terrell Owens, Anquan Boldin, Vincent Jackson, and a brief fling with Antonio Gates.

Last year's new look receiving corps was the strongest Evan ever assembled: Roddy White, Dwayne Bowe, Brandon Marshall, and an ailing Anquan Boldin. They led the way for a new passing attack centered around QB Philip Rivers, who was acquired in the trade that sent Peyton Manning packing. The traditional two headed RB monster is now just one, Jamaal Charles, as rookie Ryan Mathews has yet to prove that he was worth Chris Johnson. With Peyton and LDT both off the keeper roster, a new era of Monkey madness has begun, one that might see less WK16 sit downs and bow outs.

One thing's for certain, the Monkeys never stand pat. They've moved more superstars around the league than Drew Rosenhaus. Over the years they've participated in about one big deal per year. Let's go take a look. See a pattern? Evan tends to mine young RBs and then swap them out for a WR or two. The hunt for a dominant air game has cost them at times. In 2005, they moved franchise player Shaun Alexander and subsequently lost the championship to Fat Jubas -- the team that received Alexander. All that wheeling and dealing has kept life exciting though, and Evan has proven that he's a GM who takes risks and works every angle to maintain an unparalleled level of excellence.

Season Breakdowns
2010: 9-4; Won the division and dominated throughout the playoffs, winning a second Super Bowl by defeating Fobsters
2009: 8-5; Won the division but lost to major underdog Gang Green in the Super Bowl
2008: 8-5; Won the division after starting off slow (1-2), lost to the favored Battle Angels in the Super Bowl
2007: 10-3; Won the division but upset by eventual co-champ Dirty Birds in the divisional championship game
2006: 12-1; Won the division, rewrote the record book, nearly went undefeated, and stampeded their way to a Super Bowl win
2005: 8-4-1; After handily winning their two playoff games, including upsetting Ante Up, they lost to Fat Jubas in the Super Bowl
2004: 9-4; Won the division but lost in the division finals to eventual champion Buffy
2003: 9-4; A second seed but then upset in the first round of the playoffs by Ante Up
2002: 8-5; A second seed but lost to eventual champion Dirty Birds in the divisional championship game
2001: 8-5; Led by ROY LaDainian Tomlinson, racked up nine century games in a row but lost in the playoffs to eventual champion BuffyStats (full)
Highest Avg Game Score, Season: 136.93 (2006)
Most Points Scored, Game: 178 (2006)
Least Points Scored, Game: -- (----)
Best Margin of Victory, Game: 87 (2009)
Worst Margin of Defeat, Game: -54 (2008)
Longest Winning Streak, Season: 9 (2005)
Longest Losing Streak, Season: 3 (2005)

The Eagle Has Landed

In a move that was largely seen as inevitable, Michael Vick 2.0 is now a Philadelphia Phreak. The Tiiite End Jammers boasted two top QBs, with Vick and Tony Romo on board, but that was one too many. After an injury plagued season from Romo last year, the Jammers knew that Vick had more trade value.

After a round of whirlwind discussions, it was agreed that Ping would send RB Maurice Jones-Drew and a 2011 RD5 pick for Michael Vick and an accompanying RD5 pick. With Vick now in the fold, the Philly Phreaks boast the entire Eagles' aerial attack, as WRs DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin are also keepers. The lone running back will be sophomore speedster Jahvid Best, which means the Phreaks are in the market for more durable options entering the draft.

As for the Tiiite End Jammers, they now have Tony Romo back at the helm. With three solid running backs behind him -- Jones-Drew, Rashard Mendenhall, Ryan Grant -- Romo should have a balanced attack. The official Jammers' press release about the trade was a bit harsh on Vick, but the PR department quickly stepped in to say nice things about the ex-dog killer afterwards. The original statement was this: "After using up all of Vick's mojo last season, the Jammers have kicked Vick to the curb and made it Romo's team once again!"

Analysts love the trade for both sides. Having two top QBs in a ten team league was useless for Lei, so getting a franchise running back was a great return. As for the Phreaks, if Vick can stay even seventy five percent healthy, he's got the potential to be the best fantasy player in the land. As part of the Phreaks' recent resurgence, we really like this move.

2011 Keepers

The Rules 2.0

General League Rules

• New rules are implemented upon a majority vote from the league.
• Trades can be overturned by three-fourths of the Rules Committee (Jon, Evan, Eric, Ping). If it is a tie, then the trade goes through.

Roster Limits

• 8 active starters, 6 reserves, 1 IR slot
• Any player can be placed on the IR slot, but once there, they no longer allowed to be active for the rest of the season. The player in the IR slot can be released.
• Five players may be designated as keepers each year

Starting Lineup

1 QB
1 RB
3 WR/TE
1 RB/WR/TE
1 K
1 Def

• Illegal rosters score zero points in standings
• Lineup deadline: Five minutes before gametime for each player

Scoring

• See scoring rules spreadsheet
• Tiebreaker: None, leave regular season matchups as ties

Transactions, Waivers, and Trades

• Add/Drop Deadline: Five minutes before each week's first game
• Add/Drop Limit: None, allow owners to do unlimited add/drops

• Waivers run: Wed, Thu, Fri, Sat
• Waivers period: 1 day
• Waivers Order Resets: Never, set at beginning of season according to draft order
• All players not on a roster are picked up via the waivers process for the first waiver run of each week
• All players not cut by a team are then free agents, and available for unlimited adding after the first waiver wire run of the week

• Trade Deadline: December 1st

Playoffs & Toilet Bowl

• Playoffs start: Week 14
• First Round Bye: Division winners receive a first round bye
• Playoff seeding tiebreakers will be determined by: (1) Head to Head Record, (2) Points Scored, (3) Division Record
• [Added 8/2015] Playoff teams always draft after non-playoff teams, regardless of win-loss record.
• In the event that a playoff game ends in a tie, the deadlock will be broken using (1) Most touchdowns scored by a starting roster, (2) Most points scored by a starting defense
• The winner of the Toilet Bowl receives the #1 overall pick in RD1, while the loser of the Toilet Bowl receives #2 overall pick in RD1, before they revert to their original positons for the rest of the draft. Toilet Bowl seedings and details.

Drafting

• Yearly draft order is calculated according to reverse regular season standings (same tie-breakers as playoff format)
• The two Super Bowl contestants draft second-to-last and last
• The draft is worst to first, non-snake

Moving Forward

New Rules for 2011

• Decimalization of scores. Each rushing/receiving yard is now 0.1 points, and each passing yard is 0.05 points.
• Illegal rosters score zero points for the team and in the standings.
• Waivers will now be run 4x a week: Wed, Thu, Fri, Sat. Players cut by a team will be on waivers for one day. In addition, the waiver order will be set at the beginning of the season (in draft order) and then never reset. Picking up a player will drop a team to the bottom of the queue. Free agents will still be picked up free for all, after the first day of waivers run each week. (Detail)

Things voted on but not passed

• Using CBS vs ESPN: Denied on a 5-5 tie.

Mega-Roddy!

Well, that sure didn't take long. A few hours after newly minted Dirty Bird receiver, Calvin Johnson, passed his physical, word came that a deal had been struck which would send Johnson to the Monkeys for Roddy White.

The deal was officially struck this afternoon as the commissioner's office received the final details of the trade. Calvin Johnson plus the Dirty Bird's 2nd pick in the 2011 draft for Roddy White and the Monkey's 3rd pick in the 2011 draft.

Strangely enough, this was the first trade between the two storied franchises. "As active as both Jon (GM of the Dirty Birds) and I have been, for some reason, we never found a deal that we both liked. This deal was one we both liked," said GM Evan of the Chunky Monkeys.

According to the Monkey GM, "We've always loved Calvin Johnson and his big play ability. Roddy was a terrific contributor to our Super Bowl team last year and I thank him for all his hard work for us last year. However, getting Megatron was a unique opportunity to get a little younger, taller and in our opinion, better. We spoke with Philip Rivers prior to getting the deal done and he is very excited about working with Calvin. We think this could be a great pair for years."

According to ESPN Senior Analyst, Adam Shefter, "Great deal all around that just works for both teams. Roddy White gets to play for the home town Dirty Birds and the Monkeys continue to re-tool as they prepare to defend their title. Both are Tier 1A receivers so it was simply a matter of the two teams finding a better fit in the other receiver. The 2nd pick for the Monkeys could be significant as well as they continue to stock pile picks. Good move for both teams."

Turner to GMs: "Not Again!"

For the third time in a little over eighteen months, Falcons running back Michael Turner is on the move. "Shit, I'm not buying no more. Just renting. No, subletting probably. My family is hurting man, we're hurting!" After a bounce back season in 2010, in which Turner churned up 1300+ yards and 12 TDs, Dirty Birds management has decided to swap him for WR Calvin Johnson, the finale in a long rumored deal. In fact, this exact deal may have been attempted last year before the playoffs, but the trade deadline nixed that plan.

The Fobsters' Calvin Johnson feels similarly slighted. After contributing heavily to the franchise's first Super Bowl appearance last post-season, the homegrown receiver thought a big raise was in order. However, management felt differently after Johnson scored only seven points in the championship game. "We thought as an evil Transformer, Megatron would have given us more than four receptions and fifty yards. We were disappointed in his performance," said GM Jimmy.

The number one overall draft pick in 2007, Calvin Johnson has emerged as an elite threat despite working with inferior quarterbacks throughout his career. (That same draft was the one that netted Dirty Birds RB Adrian Peterson, one pick after Johnson) After looking over his roster, GM Jimmy decided that the lack of a ground game was too glaring a hole on his roster. Armed with young guns Santonio Holmes, Mike Williams, and Dez Bryant on the roster, Johnson was deemed a luxury. Turner will be tasked with giving the Fobsters a presence on the ground after their lackluster backfield by committee last season.

As for the team Megatron arrives to, they'll now be a high flying squad. With Larry Fitzgerald, Miles Austin, and Johnson aboard, the Dirty Birds have decided to take to the air. While they still boast consensus number one running back Adrian Peterson, GM Jon felt that a shakeup was in order. The new second RB will be Knowshon Moreno, who has flashed some promise but has yet to achieve the productivity Turner has. Rumors are that other deals are in the works, as the Dirty Birds work to acquire a Falcon for their roster. With this blockbuster, the 2011 season is officially off to a fast start!

Iguana Strikes Back

Historical Record
If we're measuring success by Super Bowl appearances, the Fat Jubas have been one of the most successful franchises in CTDB history. They advanced to the championship round four times -- 2002, 2003, 2005, 2006 -- and won a Super Bowl on their third visit. They also racked up an impressive eight playoff showings and two divisional titles. Those exploits make them second only to Gang Green's achievements in the Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses division.

The Jubas have been savvily guide by Eric and are usually championship contenders and have had their share of big wins. Their 2002-2003 seasons were almost identical. Second place finishes in the division despite losing records, and then a joy filled romp to the Super Bowl.

Strangely, for a team with so much success, they only show up in the league record books once: for a second place showing on Most Points Allowed Season, in 2002. And the Fatties have an overall losing record of 74-80-2 (.481) for the past decade, which is surprising. Some would say that the early weakness of the SMG division gave the then Flaming Shrapnel a leg up, but those people might be just jealous of their postseason success.

Their divisonal rivalry with Gang Green is very lopsided, as they've lost 17 of 23 matchups. They have picked on the Fobsters and Phreaks franchise over the years though, compiling a 29-14 record against those two. Although of late the Jubas have had a disconcerting tendency to be upset in the playoffs by the Fobsters. Perhaps the best measure of the Jubas is to compare them with Battle Angel, who are similar in overall record, head to head matchups, and one championship each. Overall the Jubas have enjoyed a lot of unexpected playoff success but also some heartaches. They're looking to steady the ship heading into our eleventh year and are poised to do it quite well.

Core Roster
The Flaming Shrapnel stumbled out of the gates in 2001 but always had quite the roster of talented players on board. Ahman Green was the franchise running back and he was backed up by Anthony Thomas, Jamal Lewis (IR early), Garrison Hearst, and a young Shaun Alexander -- still stuck behind Ricky Watters. This sort of crowded backfield would come to define GM Eric's strategy for his early years. A few weeks into that first season, Green was shipped out for Eddie George, who had a very poor year. However, by 2002, George, Anthony Thomas, and Jamal Lewis would prove to be a capable running attack. Two years later, that potpourri would include be two younger backs, Domanick Davis and Chris Brown, who never quite sustained their early promise. Other RBs the grace the roster during this time included William Green, Tiki Barber, Warrick Dunn, Onterrio Smith, Thomas Jones, Tyrone Wheatley, and Cedric Benson before he was relevant.

It wasn't until 2005 that the Jubas found another franchise runner via trade: Shaun Alexander. A record setting season for Alexander led to a Super Bowl trophy for Eric. The next year, GM Eric got another franchise runner via trade, Frank Gore. By the time Alexander was ingloriously released in 2007, Ryan Grant and Michael Turner were ready for their star turns. After a disastrous 2009 season, GM Eric acquired Chris Johnson in a possible steal. With Gore still on board, and Darren McFadden finally cashing in on his promise, the Jubas enter the new decade with a fantastic three headed monster. Keep in mind, all those franchise making trades for RB came at the expense of Chunky Monkeys.

As the Jubas' backfield was turbulent and flipped over for many years, the receiving corps always had star power and production. Led off by Terrell Owens and Eric Moulds, the team had a nice tradition of a nice 1-2 punch and then a veteran in the third receiver role. Players like Cris Carter, Rod Smith, Jimmy Smith, Laveranues Coles, and Lee Evans had a good season or two before fading on. GM Eric also moved quickly on the waiver wire. Anquan Boldin exploded on the scene in 2003 as a rookie and GM Eric was right there to scoop him up. Another fantastic free agent came in 2006, right as the gap for a TO sized receiver was needed. Marques Colston was undrafted and ended up becoming an important cog in the Jubas' success for the next five years.

Young versions of Dwayne Bowe, Sidney Rice, and Brandon Marshall were also drafted or picked up by Eric. The scouting department for receivers is clearly underpaid at the Jubas' headquarters. Recently, they have started a tight end fascination too, as 2009-10 featured the likes of Dallas Clark, Tony Gonzalez, and Vernon Davis logging plenty of minutes. I believe all three even started a game in last season for the Jubas.

Let's talk about that quarterback position. The inaugural season featured Elvis Grbac and Alex Van Pelt. Trent Green steadied the position before Aaron Brooks came in for one outstanding year. The year after that, a trade for Steve McNair saved the 2003 season, and then Marc Bulger stepped onto the scene, leading Fat Jubas to a championship and steadying the position for a nice stretch. Eric caught Derek Anderson's one great year and then nabbed Kurt Warner for his two year resurgence. Last year, the Jubas traded for the steadiest QB in the game, Peyton Manning. However, with the great track record of grabbing QBs during their career peaks, Manning could just be a luxury.

After winning a divisional title last year, the Jubas have their strongest team on paper ever. Peyton Manning, Chris Johnson, Frank Gore, Darren McFadden, Marques Colston, Vincent Jackson, and Vernon Davis. There's a wealth of talent here and the Jubas are ready to challenge Gang Green for SMG accolades.

Season Breakdowns
2010: 8-5; Won a division title, started off 7-1, but upset by Fobsters in the divisional finals
2009: 4-8-1; Lost three in a row to end the season, sliding to last place in the division
2008: 7-6; Second in the division, mid-season five game winning streak, lost in the divisional round to eventual champion Battle Angels
2007: 6-7; Second in division, started off 2-6, upset in the first round by Fobsters
2006: 9-4; Won division, started off 5-2, advanced to the Super Bowl but lost to Chunky Monkeys
2005: 8-5; Second in the division, advanced to the Super Bowl, won their first championship versus Chunky Monkeys
2004: 7-6; Snuck into the playoffs, lost by three points in the first round to Battle Angels
2003: 6-7; Second in the division, advanced to the Super Bowl before losing to the Tiiite End Jammers
2002: 6-7; Second in the division, advanced to the Super Bowl before losing to the Dirty Birds
2001: 3-10; A lowly last place finish in the division

Stats (full)
Highest Avg Game Score, Season: 124.15 (2009)
Most Points Scored, Game: 161 (2009)
Least Points Scored, Game: 50 (2003)
Best Margin of Victory, Game: 93 (2008)
Worst Margin of Defeat, Game: -79 (2005)
Longest Winning Streak, Season: 9 (2006)
Longest Losing Streak, Season: 5 (2002)