By Mel Alper, CTDB Analyst
What a week - the Monkeys shipped an awesome week despite displaying some really rookie GM mistakes. Evan spent Wednesday morning shopping for a kicker but somehow picked up a defense and cut the kicker and as a result, had played against Gang Green with no kicker. It didn't matter though - the Monkeys still won (see below). The Monkeys front office is calling it an administrative error, and an unnamed member of the staff has been placed on a performance improvement plan.
The Monkey's nine men in a ten-man lineup scored 163, beat Gang Green by 29, and put the Monkeys alone in first at 5-1.
It was also a week to be a backup quarterback. Sam Darnold, Matthew Stafford, Trevor Lawrence and Jared Goff all threw for 26 or more from a bench, and six of the ten starting quarterbacks scored less than all four of them. Darnold’s 39 sat behind Brock Purdy’s 42 on the same Blitz roster, on the way to the highest score this league has seen all season. For all that bench production, not one quarterback call flipped a game. Purdy and Shough outscored the backups behind them. Goff’s extra 7 would have left Greg 22 short, and Stafford would have left Roger a point and a half short.
The preview board went 3-2. It was right on Blitz, on the Angels, and on the Phreaks over the roster the computer drafted. It was wrong on Gang Green, who lost to the commissioner by 29, and wrong on the Boyz, who lost by 72.
The games
Chunky Monkeys 163, Gang Green 134
This was the first real test for the champion. They were the only two teams above even, and Gang Green had won the last two meetings, 136 to 84 in 2024 and 116 to 112 last season. The preview took Greg because the Monkeys’ Wednesday lineup needed two substitutions just to reach its own ceiling. Evan made both of them, and then a third.
Tyler Shough, claimed Wednesday for 5, threw for 34 while Lawrence sat on 28. Brock Bowers played for the first time this season and went for 23 at tight end, where Michael Mayer would have given him 11. Luther Burden III took Rhamondre Stevenson’s spot and outscored him 16 to 5. Add them up and the three changes were worth 30 points, and the margin was 29. With the Wednesday lineup left alone, the Monkeys lose this game by eight-tenths of a point.
Greg lost it in the half of his roster he didn’t start. Josh Allen threw for 19 on a projection of 30, and Goff threw for 26 on the bench, a week after throwing for 41 there. Michael Wilson caught 20 and Kalif Raymond, the 19-dollar claim, caught 18, both on the bench. Nobody sets that lineup on a Sunday morning, but it was on the roster, and it scores 169. Greg did what the projections told him and scored 134, fourth in the league. That was good enough for the standings win and nowhere near enough for the game.
A Squad Called Blitz 174, Crunch Bunch 102
Blitz had won the last two meetings in this Bay Area series, and Eddie came in with one obvious fix: Joe Burrow in for Jaxson Dart, who had already been cut. He made it, and Burrow threw for 31. It didn’t matter.
Blitz had four players at 20 or better, and no lineup on Eddie’s roster was catching that. Purdy threw for 42. Bijan Robinson ran for 34, twice his projection. Drake London and Harold Fannin Jr. added 24 and 21. The Masterminds’ 167 from Week 2 lasted exactly one week as the season high.
Thien has run this franchise since 2023 and finished ninth, fifth and fifth, and it hasn’t cracked the top four in the last five years. A roster that scores 174 with a 39-point quarterback on the bench isn’t built for fifth. It’s too early for verdicts, and I’m tempted anyway.
The call that hurt Eddie was at running back, where Kyle Monangai started and scored 3 while Jaylen Warren ran for 19 on the bench. It was the worst lineup call in the league this week, and it didn’t decide anything. The best lineup the Bunch owned scores 154 and still loses by 20.
City of Angels Masterminds 147, Jail Yard Boyz 75
The preview picked the Boyz on history. They had won the last three meetings, scoring 147, 151 and 170. This time Dak Prescott didn’t need another 41. He threw for 24, and the Masterminds scored 146.9, within a rounding error of the 147 the Boyz once beat them with, and won by 72.
The Boyz didn’t lose at one position. They lost everywhere. Victor had switched to Drake Maye at quarterback, and Maye threw for 6 against a projection of 24, the furthest any player in the league fell short of his number. Justin Herbert threw for 17 on the bench, so the switch cost 11, which barely registers in a 72-point loss. Six Boyz starters finished at 6 or less. Ja’Marr Chase caught 20, and no other starter got past 12.
The Masterminds didn’t need a star. Prescott, James Cook III and Davante Adams all landed between 17 and 24, and the Vikings defense added 18, most of what won Marcus the Pot.
Philadelphia Phreaks 99, Custom J 90
This was a rematch of December’s semifinal, which Custom J won 130 to 119, and it came down to the tight end slot. At midweek Ping had Dallas Goedert there, doubtful and projecting zero, a starting spot with nothing in it. By Sunday Goedert was out and Kenyon Sadiq, the round 8 rookie, was in. Sadiq caught 20 on a projection of 7. The Phreaks won by 9, so Sadiq covered the margin twice by himself.
Josh had a fix of his own on the bench and didn’t make it. The preview said Tony Pollard belonged in the lineup. Pollard ran for 12 on the bench while TreVeyon Henderson started and scored 3, and Terry McLaurin’s 17 sat behind Josh Downs’s 10. Those calls cost 15 points in a game Custom J lost by 9. The draft was the computer’s. The lineup was Josh’s.
So the league’s favorite storyline holds for another week: the roster a computer drafted lost to the roster an Eagles fan built around his team, though the Eagles had little to do with it. Ping’s five Eagles starters gave him 26 between them, the Eagles defense finished at minus 2, and Jahmyr Gibbs, a Detroit Lion, carried the Phreaks with 38. The computer has no comment. It also lost its best running back the same afternoon, which is where the Trainer’s Room starts.
Battle Angel 108, LA Buffy 100
These are the two franchises with the worst five-year records in the league, and the Angels came in 0-4. The preview picked them anyway, because Will’s lineup was already the best version of itself and nobody else’s was. He started exactly the lineup the projections wanted, and it held up.
Roger lost this on the lineup page. Jordan Addison caught 18 on his bench while Tre Tucker started and caught 6. Swap those two and Buffy wins by 3. His calls cost 11 points in the closest game of the week.
The quarterback call will get more attention, and it mattered less. In Week 2, Patrick Mahomes beat Matthew Stafford by about half a point, 38.8 to 38.25, with Stafford on the bench. This week Mahomes threw for 22 and Stafford threw for 29 on the bench. Start Stafford and Buffy still loses by a point and a half. The receiver call decided the game.
The Angels won by 8 and finished fifth in scoring, so their first win came with a second one attached. They went from 0-4 to 2-4 in one Sunday. Kyren Williams and Bryce Young each put up 19, and Javonte Williams added 17.
Heroes and Zeros
The final scores tell you who won. This section covers the individual swings behind them: the heroes are players who blew past anything a manager could reasonably expect, and the zeros are healthy starters who were supposed to carry a lineup and gave nothing back.
Heroes. Bijan’s 34 was 17 points above his projection, the most by any starter. The only player who beat his number by more was Darnold, by 18, from the Blitz bench, and that tells you about Blitz’s week. It was also a tight end week, with George Kittle’s 23 for Gang Green leading four tight ends at 20 or better: Kittle, Bowers, Fannin and Sadiq. Two of them decided games. Bowers’s return covered 12 of the Monkeys’ 29-point margin, and Sadiq outscored the Phreaks’ margin twice.
The waiver wire finally paid this week, mostly to benches. Shough was the one who started: 5 dollars, 34 points. Darnold, a free Blitz pickup before Week 1, threw for 39 behind Purdy. Raymond, last week’s biggest bid, caught 18 behind Zay Flowers. A week ago, every claim that made a lineup scored 7 or less. Evan spent 17 of the league’s 19 dollars on Wednesday. The 5 on Shough bought 34 points. The other 12 bought a benched running back, a benched defense and a kicker who didn’t last until Sunday.
Zeros. Jadarian Price, the eighth pick of the draft, followed a 5 in Week 2 with a 1 for Gang Green. Tetairoa McMillan, a Bunch keeper, caught 3 against a projection of 12. Jonathan Taylor won last week’s Pot with 27 out of the flex and ran for 8 this time. Jalen Hurts threw for 14 on a projection of 25, on Monday night, for the one GM in the league who started five Eagles. Three started defenses finished at minus 2: the Eagles, the Bengals and the 49ers.
The one mercy is that no zero cost anyone a game. Price’s owner lost by 29, Taylor’s and McMillan’s games were decided by 72, and Hurts’s team won anyway. The lineup page did all the damage this week.
Manager of the Week
Rosters get built in August, but games get won on the lineup page. This award measures the one thing a manager fully controls on Sunday: his score against what the lineup the projections wanted would have scored.
Manager of the Week: Evan, Chunky Monkeys. His calls gained 11 points, the most in the league, and every one of them came from Burden over Stevenson. Shough and Bowers were what the projections wanted anyway, so they don’t count toward it. Complaints about the commissioner winning an award in his own league can be filed with the commissioner.
Nothing to decide. Will, Greg, Marcus and Victor each started exactly the lineup the projections wanted. Victor’s is the one to feel bad about. He did what the projections said, and the projections missed on the Boyz by 52. Thien gained 4 and Ping lost 1.
Calls that cost. Eddie’s cost 16, the most in the league, and all of it was Monangai over Warren. Josh’s cost 15 and Roger’s cost 11, and those were the only two sets of calls this week that decided a game.
The Trainer’s Room
In a keeper league, an injury isn’t just one bad Sunday. It lands on the five players a manager built his roster around, it follows the franchise into next summer’s keeper decisions, and it sends half the league to Wednesday’s wire. Five keepers picked up a new tag since midweek, and one of them is gone for the year.
De’Von Achane, Custom J. Torn ACL on his third carry Sunday, out for the season. He had been a Custom J keeper since 2024 and gave the team 2 on a projection of 17 before he went down. A late-September tear leaves an outside chance he’s ready for Week 1 next year, so next summer’s keeper decision turns into a medical question. For now Pollard is the fill-in, and Jonah Coleman, the round 13 rookie, is on injured reserve with a high ankle sprain and can’t come back before Week 7. Custom J is the obvious bidder at running back this week.
Josh Allen, Gang Green. Questionable after a 19-point day and a helmet to the left knee late in the game. His coach says he isn’t concerned, and early reads call it a bruise rather than structural damage. Allen has been a Gang Green keeper since 2022, and his backup has thrown for 41 and 26 from the bench the last two weeks. Of all the quarterback injuries in the league, this is the one nobody needs to panic about.
Justin Jefferson, Phreaks. Ankle sprain. Imaging came back clean and he could play in Week 4, though the more cautious read of the tape says high ankle, which usually costs two to three weeks and dents production for a while after he returns. He has been a Phreaks keeper every year since 2021, and he caught 4 before he left. Ping’s list is longer than that. Puka Nacua missed his second straight game with a hip, and the Rams are hopeful but noncommittal about Week 4. Goedert missed Sunday with the knee sprain and is expected to miss Week 4 too. Baker Mayfield, the backup quarterback, is out at least three weeks with a dislocated thumb on his throwing hand.
Travis Etienne Jr., Angels. A keeper who aggravated his hamstring and will miss time, with no timeline yet and injured reserve still possible. Will has the depth for it: both Williamses started beside him and scored 17 or better.
Breece Hall, Masterminds. A keeper, week-to-week with a quad strain, and likely out in Week 4. The MRI was better than feared. The back who takes over the Jets backfield, Braelon Allen, is sitting on Gang Green’s bench, so Marcus won’t find the handcuff on the wire. Caleb Williams, the Masterminds’ backup quarterback, is still on a three-to-four-week clock with the hamstring strain from Week 2.
The rest. Nico Collins, a Buffy keeper, missed his second straight game with a mild hamstring strain, returned to practice Wednesday, and has a decent chance to play in Week 4. Rico Dowdle sat out for Blitz with a toe, and Jalen Coker left with what looks like a mild quad strain and is questionable. Mike Evans is day-to-day for Custom J with a rib injury, and even if he plays, receivers with rib injuries tend to lose snaps and targets. Jayden Daniels is back at practice for the Angels, limited, in an elbow brace and with no surgery, and could return in Week 4, though the cautious read says Week 6.
Back. Bowers played for the first time this season, and Mayer, the 15-dollar fill-in, goes back to the bench. Flowers played through his hamstring for Gang Green, and Darnold came back from a glute injury and threw for 39 from a bench.
Tidbits
A few things that didn’t decide a game but will come up at the draft table anyway.
The Monkeys have won Week 3 every year since 2021. The Masterminds had lost it every year since 2021. Both streaks were live on Sunday, and only one of them survived.
Blitz and the Masterminds both won by 72, in the same week, four-tenths of a point apart.
Blitz has now beaten the Bunch three straight times.
Ping beat Josh in the Stanford game, and Evan, the third Stanford GM, won his.
The family went 1-3. Evan won and Victor lost. The brothers, Josh and Eddie, both lost, and both are 2-4.
This Week’s Pot
Week 3 paid the highest combined score from a starting kicker and defense, and the City of Angels Masterminds (Marcus Moore) take it with 29: Brandon Aubrey kicked for 11 and the Vikings defense scored 18. Marcus switched from the Texans to the Vikings this week, a week after the Vikings scored 15 on his bench, and the switch was worth 10. He didn’t need it. Aubrey plus the Texans’ 8 still wins at 19, with the Boyz and the Bunch tied for second at 12. The Monkeys, who spent 6 dollars on this Pot, finished ninth with 4.
The standings count the game plus a second result for finishing in the top or bottom half of the week’s scoring. The Monkeys went 2-0 and sit alone at 5-1, even though three teams have outscored them. Blitz, the Masterminds and Gang Green are 4-2. Blitz leads the league in points at 446, and the Masterminds and Gang Green are separated by a tenth of a point, 425.4 to 425.3. ESPN still lists Gang Green third, because head-to-head is the first tiebreaker and Gang Green won their Week 1 meeting. The Phreaks are 3-3. Custom J, the Bunch, the Angels, Buffy and the Boyz are 2-4, and the Boyz have scored 263 points, 60 fewer than anyone else.
Next week
The Monkeys, 5-1, host Custom J, 2-4. That puts the commissioner against the roster the computer drafted for his cousin Josh, now playing without its best running back. The Monkeys lead that series 8-4 over the last five years.
Blitz hosts the Boyz in the Bay Area division, the best score of Week 3 against the worst, in a series the Boyz lead 8-4. Gang Green visits the newly revived Angels in the Road division, with Allen’s knee the question. The Masterminds host the Phreaks, Hall probably out on one side and Jefferson and Nacua uncertain on the other, and Buffy visits the Bunch. Picks come in the preview.
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