Super Bowl Preview 2019

#1 Custom J (12-1) vs #2 Chunky Monkeys (10-3)

Here we are, the first Cousin Bowl in CTDB history! It could have been a Brother Bowl but after Evan took our Eddie last week with a stellar 175.6 - 116.5 stomping, the stage is set for the best and second-best teams this season to face off in a Super Bowl XVIIII. (Yes, that’s nineteen!) Josh’s Custom J took care of business by taking out LA Buffy, 153.2 - 99.4, ending Roger’s upset hopes. Let’s take a look at the matchups.

QB: It’s Lamar Jackson versus Ryan Tannehill. While I haven’t been following football very closely this year, even I know that Lamar Jackson is the new MVP and mega superstar this season. So while there’s a Tannehill resurgence or something, we’re gonna go with the historic season from Jackson. Edge: Custom J

RB: Last year’s number one overall pick, Saquon Barkley powered Chunky Monkeys back to relevance but he’s going to have a tough time going up against fellow 2018 NFL draftee Nick Chubb. He’ll have Mark Ingram — the #8 rated back on the season — alongside him but Chubb has Leonard Fournette, giving Custom J two top ten backs. Still, we like Barkley’s upside and it’s possible that he and Ingram will have a standout Super Bowl. They’ll have to, for Monkeys to stand a chance. Both teams have flexed running backs, with Custom going with Joe Mixon and Monkeys starting Mike Boone. We’re pretty sure Mixon has been trash this year so I guess we’ll just go with big cousin Evan on this one… Edge: Chunky Monkeys

WR: Tannehill will have deep threats Tyreek Hill, Stefon Diggs, and Curtis Samuel facing off versus DeAndre Hopkins, Courtland Sutton, and Terry McLaurin. That, um, seems like a wash. Hill had a big game last weekend and he’ll have to again to keep up with Hopkins and Co. The big story here is who’s missing for both teams. Monkeys will be without the services for their number one receiver, Chris Godwin, while Custom doesn’t seem to be playing Cooper Kupp or Jarvis Landry. Will Josh’s big gamble on McLaurin turn out to be the right move? Edge: Even

TE: Ah, good old Hunter Henry. Did he finally break out this year? I guess being a top eight tight end means he sort of did, but it seems like his run of double digit scoring is over. He’ll be facing off against Mark Andrews, who is capable of multiple touchdowns and is Lamar Jackson’s safety net, meaning he averages about ten points a game. Edge: Custom J

DST/K: Where art though vaunted Patriots Defense? Monkeys rode the historic start by Patriots DST to the top of the league but they’ve been much less impressive of late. Even a matchup against the Bills might not be enough to push them back to their league crushing ways. While Custom J features the second best defense in the league in Pittsburgh, much of their success was earlier in the season as well. I guess we could talk about kickers then, with Evan’s Younghoe Koo going up against the second-best kicker in Will Lutz. I guess we’ll go with Chunky for this one, since in theory Patriots have more upside and we have to support our ex-Charger and still Korean Koo. Edge: Chunky Monkeys

Intangibles: Everything has lined up for Custom J to take the title this year. A stellar disbursement draft, a MVP candidate in Lamar Jackson. And most of all, the new/old Dirty Birds franchise has never lost to the Chunky Monkeys when its counted (is this even true? I want to say it is...) and we think cousin Josh will keep that streak alive. We predict a close win for Custom J!

Playoffs: 2019 RD2

Playoffs, RD2
#1 Custom J (12-1) vs #6 LA Buffy (5-8)
#2 Chunky Monkeys (10-3) vs #4 Crunch Bunch (8-5)

*Note: We reseed each round...

Toilet Bowl, RD2 Finals
#9 Fat Jubas (3-10) vs #10 Philadelphia Phreaks (1-12)

Playoff Matchups: 2019

Playoffs, RD1
#3 Gang Green (10-3) vs #6 LA Buffy (5-8)
#4 Crunch Bunch (8-5) vs #5 Battle Angel (7-6)

Byes: #1 Custom J (12-1), #2 Chunky Monkeys (10-3)

Toilet Bowl, RD1
#7 City of Angels Masterminds (5-8) vs #10 Philadelphia Phreaks (1-12)
#8 Tiiite End Jammers (4-9) vs #9 Fat Jubas (3-10)

Super Bowl XVIII

#3 Athena Nike (7-6) def #2 Gang Green (7-6), 141.6 - 126.5
As one prognosticator predicted, Athena Nike was the most dangerous team headed into the playoffs and then they went out and proved it, by taking down another higher seed as they romped their way to a title after putting up 135.6, 104.5, and a 141.6 points during the playoffs. (Note: The Super Bowl record for PF was 155.0 in 2001 by Buffy, which is wild since that was before we expanded starting lineups by two slots.) At the end of the day, Nike won eight straight from WK10 on, and that was after a 1-5 stretch from WK4-9, proving that perseverance is a key trait for every champion.

Their games got increasingly, slightly, tougher as they started off with a RD1 fifty-point blowout of Jammers, then a twenty-five point win versus top seeded Chunky in the Marvel finals, and finally a Super Bowl victory by “only” fifteen points. Of course, the title game was essentially sealed with a touchdown pass to Michael Thomas halfway through Sunday, and despite Ben Roethlisberger’s heroics and a comeback attempt by Christian McCaffrey, Gang Green fell short. Technically there were a lot of points left on Greg’s bench but none that would have been inserted normally, and to put an exclamation point for our year-long issues with defensive scoring, Texans defense threw up negative seven for the final matchup.

On the winning side, the heroes were many, as Baker Mayfield stepped in for an injured Cam Newton — his second start for Athena — and won a ring in his rookie NFL season. Ezekiel Elliot slowed a bit as the postseason wore on but still averaged 18+ points. The steadiest hand for Nike during the post-season was DeAndre Hopkins, who was an explosive stick of dynamite. Throw in Leonard Fournette and Adrian Peterson doing just enough, and it was a team-wide effort for this title. Heck, tight end Evan Engram was a free agent last week and then put up 14.3 points in the Super Bowl, while coach Frank also subbed out Vikings defense for Rams, resulting in a one-point increase.

In short, owner Frank’s plan worked out to perfection as he took a team that finished with only five wins in 2014 — the year Frank rejoined CTDB — and launched a rebuild that re-energized trade markets around the league and also resulted in Nike getting two #1 overall draftees despite never actually winning the Toilet Bowl.

Since inheriting a keeper core of Aaron Rodgers, Ray Rice, CJ Spiller, Alfred Morris, and Roddy White, Frank has turned over everyone to not only get younger, but also more talented. 2015 brought in DeAndre Hopkins and a RD3 for Nike's RD2 pick. That spare RD3 was then turned into Rob Gronkowski a day later. So yes, one RD2 pick brought in Hopkins and Gronk!

2016 was a mega-deal that resulted in draft picks used to grab Ezekiel Elliot and Michael Thomas. 2017 was another three-team mega-trade that involved Frank shipping off assets for Leonard Fournette and a bunch of future picks, knowing that 2018 was the year Athena Nike would mature into a contender. Three consecutive Augusts, four huge deals that laid the groundwork for this title run. There were other success stories too, like the long gestating belief in Amari Cooper’s talent if not actual production, etc. Even when stabbed in the back by GM Jon — who grabbed Calvin Ridley in 2018’s draft and gave Frank Cam Newton — things turned up roses for Frank as Newton outperformed Rodgers for most of the year.

All in all, it’s been a roller coaster ride for Frank in CTDB, split over two stints, but a short and well calculated flight to the top resulted in his first ring. Athena Nike looks stacked with talent galore and given the chance, Frank has a great shot at going back-to-back. Given the chance…

As for Gang Green, it was their fourth Super Bowl appearance but their first since their 2009 title. A third ring would’ve been nice but Greg was mostly just happy to be in the championship game after two previous seasons of getting bounced in RD1 of the Toilet Bowl. Gang Green finished the year out with the second best running back, Christian McCaffrey, and the best receiver, Davante Adams, meaning their traditionally star-less state is over. A 0-4 start to the season ended with 9-2 record until the title game loss. Being on the losing end of the highest scoring Super Bowl in CTDB history — and putting up the highest losing score ever -- is not bad at all for a runner-up season!

Playoffs & TB 2018: RD2

Playoffs, RD2 - Conference Finals
#1 Chunky Monkeys (9-4) vs #3 Athena Nike (7-6)
Frank's team took out the trash on the way to an "upset" of Tiiite End Jammers and now Evan's worst fears have materialized: a matchup with streaking Athena Nike, who haven't lost in five weeks. We are very excited about this matchup and can't wait to see what happens!

#1 Philadelphia Phreaks (7-6) vs #2 Gang Green (7-6)
Greenies didn't need Derrick Henry's 47.8 points to sneak by Fobsters in RD1. While Fobsters did make it interesting near the end, they eventually lost by -2.2 points, which was a common theme for them all season long. Phreaks had a huge week on bye, and a repeat would vault them right into their first ever Super Bowl appearance.


Toilet Bowl, RD2 - Finals
#3 Battle Angel (5-8) vs #4 Fat Jubas (5-8)
Both lower seeds advanced, but it's fair to say that Battle Angels, our #3 seed, was the clear Toilet Bowl favorite as they led CTDB in PF this season. They blew Buffy out by 33+ and that was all she wrote for Roger. Vu lost to Eric WK12 so there is an upset chance here.

Fat Jubas used a big week from Jameis Winston, plus a decent game from Steelers' third running back Jaylen Samuels, to upset defending champ Dirty Birds. After an eight-game win streak WK4-11, they've now won three in a row. Can they pick up one more victory and secure next year's top pick?!

Playoff Previews 2018

A look at each team's 2018 season and playoff preview after our division re-names and a year of amazing parity that resulted in seven of our ten teams within one game of 0.500.

Tiiite End Jammers (7-6) vs Athena Nike (7-6)
After starting off red hot and looking like a juggernaut at midseason, Jammers have dropped five of their last six and barely squeaked into the playoffs — that one win was a 0.5 squeaker versus Fobsters too. All this and Jammers still ended up with the  easiest PA in the league at 110.4 per week.

So which Jammers will show up for the playoffs? Unfortunately, probably the same one that only put up 115.0 points per week, and it’s not like injuries wrecked their second half of the season. Aaron Rodgers  has slowed and despite his of impressive receivers — Antonio Brown, Julio Jones, Emmanuel Sanders, Sony Michel — there just isn’t enough offense here. Rookie running backs Kerryon Johnson and Sony Michel have been good when on the field, but both have missed games. The absolute lost season from Le’Veon Bell really hurt here.

As for the team they’ll be facing, Athena Nike, it’s the complete opposite story. Frank’s team has won five of its last six and has had an absolutely monstrous back half of the season by stomping on every opponent and displaying a massive ceiling — it took a 173.4 PA in WK9 to beat Nike.

Ezekiel Elliot is a man refreshed, as is Amari Cooper post-Cowbodys trade. The trio of Cooper, Michael Thomas, and DeAndre Hopkins is excellent, and there’s a possibility Courtland Sutton sneaks in a start due to Matt Breida’s injury. With Leonard Fournette back from a one-game suspension and Adrian Peterson proving that he’s still got wheels, it should be an easy stroll in the park upset for Cam Newton and Athena Nike this week. Or does Frank step in with rookie Baker Mayfield?!?

Gang Green (7-6) vs Fobsters (6-7)
A WK13 win at Buffy locked in Gang’s playoff spot and they even got a higher seed out of the situation as Fobsters fell. Much like Phreaks, Greg’s team is peaking at the right time as they’ve put up 130+ in recent weeks, representing their best two week showings. And while Athena Nike has been wow-ing CTBD during the late stretch, Gang Green has cleaned up with five of six wins in their back half of the season as well. Just as we predicted, Gang finished up with a nice playoff push.

Christian McCaffrey has been the second half stud for this team, as the second-year running back has posted 31+ in four of his last five games. Davante Adams has been great as well, and after an early season of Deshaun Watson starts, it looks like Big Ben is now the preferred starter for coach Greg. There isn’t a whole lot behind McCaffrey-Adams as far as star power or depth, so it’ll take a lot for Green to avoid an upset.

The Capcom division leader heading into WK13, Fobsters slipped to a three-seed after a loss to 5-8 Jubas. Bad form. That’s three straight losses for Fobsters and four of six for their back half of the season. Still, the playoffs are a new ball game and Fobsters are undeniably talented as they sport Melvin Gordon, Kareem Hunt, Joe Mixon, and rookie second-half sensation Nick Chubb. Oh wait, did we mention Hunt? Whoops, looks like he’s gone due to his…we all know what happened. Still, with Gordon on the mend, a three-headed RB attack is still here for Fob.

The big question is their passing game, as Tom Brady has slipped this year and exciting years by sophomores Kenny Golladay and Corey Davis, this team could use a big more pop through the air.

A season featuring tough losses — by 2.5 to Monkeys, 0.5 to Jammers, 4.3 to Gang Green — leaves this team wondering what could have been. If Fobsters get knocked out in the first round, they’ll perhaps regret not pulling the plug on Brady earlier, despite a nice season’s worth of unearthing gems like Chubb, Golladay, Anthony Miller, and Geronimo Allison.

Bye Teams

Chunky Monkeys (9-4)
Flying very high off back-to-back 160+ point weeks, Chunky will look forward to a bye after laying an absolute egg in WK13, scoring their lowest total of the season. That blip won’t really matter though as Monkeys are still in pole position for a title after racking up 130.4 points per game — good for second in CTDB.

Rookie of the year Saquon Barkely has led Monkeys all year and there is plenty of support behind him as Kirk Cousins and Tyreek Hill, although a slightly weak tight end position could be cause for concern moving forward. Still, a big congrats to Monkeys for going last-to-first and capturing a Marvel division title — for the ninth time — as well as the best record in the league by two whole games.

Philadelphia Phreaks (7-6)
Ping’s team vaulted into a bye and a Capcom division title in WK13 by securing a win over Battle Angel and then out tie-breaking Gang Green. They seem to be peaking at just the right time too, as they’ve put up back-to-back 140+ points and super passing attack of Patrick Mahomes, Zach Ertz, JuJu Smith-Schuster, and Keenan Allen will have to take the week off.

After suffering through season ending injuries to Devonta Freeman, Cooper Kupp, and Marshawn Lynch, it’s been a big victory for Ping to emerge with this bye week, a distinction they last earned in 2014, and now with three division titles total.

Playoff Matchups: 2018

Playoffs, RD1
Tiiite End Jammers (7-6) vs Athena Nike (7-6)
Gang Green (7-6) vs Fobsters (6-7)

Byes: Chunky Monkeys (9-3), Philadelphia Phreaks (7-6)

*Tie-breaker: Points Scored, H2H was tied 1-1 so Tiiite End Jammers beat Athena Nike on PF for higher seed
*Tie-breaker: Points Scored, H2H was tied 1-1 so Philadelphia Phreaks defeat Gang Green on PF for higher seed and division title

Toilet Bowl, RD1
#1 Dirty Birds (6-7) vs #4 Fat Jubas (5-8)
#2 LA Buffy (6-7) vs #3 Battle Angel (5-8)

*Tie-breaker: Points Scored, H2H was tied 1-1 for both 6-7 and 5-8 teams so defer to PF

Super Bowl Preview 2017

#1 Battle Angel (9-4) vs #1 Dirty Birds (8-5)
Both number one seeds in the two conferences took care of business last week, pounding their opponents into submission by scoring over 140+ points each. It’s unlikely Todd Gurley and Cam Newton will go over 40+ each again, but who knows! These were the two highest powered offensive teams in the league -- despite some pre-season doubts putting Angels at #10 in the power rankings -- this year so a shootout on championship Sunday could be coming.

Dirty Birds rushed out of the gates 5-0 before tumbling back to Earth a bit but they’ve been rock solid in recent weeks, and used their first round bye to rest up. A team ravaged by injuries — Odell Beckham Jr, Andrew Luck, rookie Alvin Cook, and many lesser lights — has still been good enough to get to the final game in a weird weird NFL season. The two headed monster of Gurley and LeSean McCoy has been outstanding and while T.Y. Hilton (acquired from Battle Angels pre-draft) has been disappointing, Dez Bryant (another pre-draft acquisition) has been just enough to help the team out.

After that, there’s been a series of pretty weak WRs on the roster, thus the last minute free agent grab of Keelan Cole, who has been red hot on fire the past three weeks. Could Cole be the x-factor here? As for the flex position, Jerick McKinnon will get the chance to shine as there isn’t really a whole lot of options left behind him. At tight end, Hunter Henry is now on IR but Delanie Walker has been better all season anyway. He’ll serve as the safety valve for Philip Rivers, who gets the start over Dak Prescott, who has been boom or bust this season.

As for Battle Angels, they faced a big quarterback decision of their own as they’ve got Newton and Drew Brees on the roster and have split starts between the two of them. Newton has scored 198.1 points for Angels this season, while Brees has scored 190.6. Maybe Vu can play both, one per half? Either way, they’ll have the best TE in the league to toss the rock to in Travis Kelce, who came over pre-draft from Dirty Birds. (Great trade eh?!) Jarvis Landry has been a flat out star this season — acquired pre-draft last year — and he’ll be joined by Jamison Crowder and Mike Wallace, who have been inconsistent but useful. There’s a chance Kelvin Benjamin, Robby Anderson, or old favorite Randall Cobb could show up in the starting lineup, but for now it’s Landry plus Crowder and Wallace. Either way, it’s clear that Angels have a big edge in the receiving department.

The question is what will the running game look like? Is Vu really going with Kerwynn Williams and Theo Riddick as his RB2 and FLEX positions? Could be! It really may not matter here though as likely ROY Alvin Kamara (undrafted by the way, fantasy football is stupid…) has been incredible save one week in WK14 when he left a game due to concussion. Aside from that, Kamara has been just as good as Gurley and could explode for huge fantasy points at any time.

There's a lot on the line for both teams. Dirty Birds could become the first four-time title winner in CTDB history (and second in three years) while Angels haven't added a championship to their trophy room since 2008. Overall, Battle Angels haven’t scored less than 123.9 points since WK7 so they’re likely going to be tough to upset. We predict an easy Angels win, unless something wonky happens.

Note: Let's not forget the pre-draft controversy that exploded and resulted in Dirty Birds having to compensate Angels an extra RD2 pick in 2018. That would be sure adding salt in the wound if they lost, right?!?

Playoffs & TB 2017: RD2

Playoffs, RD2 - Conference Finals

#1 Dirty Birds (8-5) vs #3 Tiiite End Jammers (6-7)
Well, an upset by Jammers, Lei now looks like the strongest team left in the league, much less the conference. Can Birds fend off Jammers? 

#1 Battle Angel (9-4) vs #2 Fobsters (8-5)
Fobsters took care of business, even in “rebuilding” year, and now pose a formidable threat to top seeded Battle Angel. Let’s get it on!

Toilet Bowl, RD2 - Finals

#2 LA Buffy (5-8) vs #4 Chunky Monkeys (4-9)
Buffy snuck out a 0.1 point victory Monday night on the strength of Gostkowski and Patriots defense, shocking Fat Jubas, who thought they had it in the bag. Meanwhile, Monkeys upsets Gang Green, eliminating our #1 Toilet Bowl seed, congrats to Roger and Evan who are both headed for top picks! Now who’ll get number one!?!

Playoff Matchups: 2017

Playoffs, RD1
Fob Stars (8-5) vs Philadelphia Phreaks (7-6)
Athena Nike (8-5) vs Tiiite End Jammers (6-7)

Byes: Battle Angel (9-4), Dirty Birds (8-5)

Toilet Bowl, RD1
#1 Gang Green (6-7) vs #4 Chunky Monkeys (4-9)
#2 LA Buffy (5-8) vs #3 Fat Jubas (4-9)

*Tie-breaker: H2H, Fat Jubas defeated Chunky Monkeys WK6

Super Bowl XVI

What did we say last week? "Eric will have to rely on some witchcraft for that once in a decade upset…” Well, it happened, and it looks like our fourth three-time champion will be Fat Jubas! We gave the Tiiite End Jammers the edge at nearly every position but come game time, everyone not named Andrew Luck, LeVeon Bell, and Antonio Brown came up short for Jammers. In fact, while Sunday and Monday represented hope for Lei, this matchup was almost over by Sunday as Fat Jubas jumped out to a huge lead on Saturday night.

Playoff MVP David Johnson had another 100+ combined yards game, and threw up 31.6 points. The quarterback juggling that ended up starting Jameis Winston was a great move by Eric. And that big game Jubas needed from slumping receiver Mike Evans? Got it! Having another receiver step up to help him? Hello Alshon Jeffery's 11.7 points! And with LeGarrette Blount pounding his way to 17 pts himself, Jubas were looking great early on.

The Jammers did make a game of it though. Any time you have Bell and Brown yet to play, any lead can be overcome. And the two Steelers did combine for 47.8 points to close the gap, but a dud by Demaryius Thomas and negative five points from Titans defense really hurt. In the end, the golden trio of Luck, Bell and Brown -- plus Matt Bryant’s 17 pts -- weren’t enough to complete a comeback win for Jammers.

• Fat Jubas (9-4) def Tiiite End Jammers (10-3), 119.9 - 103.9

How did Jubas get here? Well, to be honest, they’ve always been here. Like we said last week, this was their third back-to-back title showing, and they already had two rings (2005, 2012) in their trophy room. Jubas missed the playoffs just once in recent years (starting off 1-8 in 2014), and the last decade has seen them go as far as the division finals seven out of ten times, plus four straight division titles from 2010-2013 (and an additional one this year), and four Super Bowl appearances. Are they the best team from Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses division? That’s a definite “yes.” Are they one of the best franchises in CTDB history? Again, that answer must now be answered in the affirmative.

In the 2012 title game, the hero for Jubas was Cam Newton, who subsequently became a keeper for the next two seasons. And then, starting in 2015, GM Eric decided to ditch keep-ing a quarterback and opted to stream options. Meanwhile, his entire roster has changed from then, as Chris Johnson, Darren McFadden, Vincent Jackson, and Jimmy Graham gave way to the current crop of Jubas’ champs.

The biggest pickup of all was sophomore running back David Johnson -- undrafted as a rookie -- who has emerged as the greatest fantasy weapon of all. And while there’s been ups and downs for the likes of CJ Anderson, Alshon Jeffery, and Emmanuel Sanders over the last few years, each has served their time with Jubas, with Jeffery and Sanders completing their third season before finally getting a long awaited ring.

This year, Jubas started off 5-0 before suffering a 2-4 midseason swoon, but they picked it back up for a 4-1 record to clean up the division title and earned a crucial bye. Then we had the 0.4 point win over Battle Angel to get into the Super Bowl. And then, amidst all the doubters, Jubas came through and finished the job, and got their much deserved third title! Congrats to Eric on his third ring!

As for the Jammers, this Super Bowl collapse was a disappointment but a second finals showing in three years definitely signals that the franchise is back as an every season contender. After going to our first three Toilet Bowls (2010-12), the Jammers have worked themselves up over the past few seasons, culminating in one of the most dominant seasons ever, in 2014. Coming up just short this year is still a win for a team that dropped out of the playoffs last year.

Overall, all this success signals a return to glory for Jammers, and their fantastic keeper core will keep them in title contention for years to come. GM Lei has shown a deft touch on the waiver wire, and this season unearthed Jordan Howard, Tyreek Hill, and Taylor Gabriel, among others. With Luck, Bell, Brown, plus DeMarco Murray and Demaryius Thomas on-board, this is still the most talented team in CTDB and Jammers won’t likely fall prey to the championship curse they suffered last season.

Super Preview 2016

My goodness, in what has to be the closest divisional finals ever, Fat Jubas narrowly edged out Battle Angel by 0.4 points, 84.7 - 84.3! Once upon a time we had a tie in the Super Bowl, but that was before decimal scoring came into our league, and for hyperbole’s sake let’s just say that this was the narrowest CTDB playoff victory ever! With Jammers dismissing Chunky Monkeys by a comfortable margin, the Super Bowl matchup is set, as our two #1 seeds prepare to face off for a shot at their third titles each! Let’s take a look at the matchups…

QB: Here’s to sudden waiver wire starts! Bills QB Tyrod Taylor was inserted into the lineup after being picked up off of the waiver wire right before the big game — Taylor was on this team earlier this month too, but was dumped in favor of Matthew Stafford. And that decision basically won Fat Jubas the game -- Stafford put up only 13 points, free agent two day pickup Winston had 17 (he was cut for Taylor), and Taylor threw down 19.6, a crucial difference in the tight game versus Battle Angel. Great GM move Eric, and now he'll return to the Super Bowl again.

And now Taylor is gone again, with Jameis Winston returning to the roster for the championship game. Again, this just shows how shuffling quarterbacks is a viable option in our league — Jubas has used five quarterbacks this year. Winston will face off against Lei's Andrew Luck, who has been steadily putting up 25+ points each game. EDGE: Jammers

RB: You can’t find a better backfield than LeVeon Bell and DeMarco Murray, and that combo led Jammers to their last title. But David Johnson and LeGarrette Blount aren’t slouches either. And even if Bell goes supernova, so too could Johnson, as they are neck-and-neck the best running backs in football. Both are facing off against tough defenses, so no edge there. But secondary back Murray seems to have more upside than touchdown king Blount, and so we’re going to just wait and see which pairing can combine for a bigger weekend. (I want to mention that Jordan Howard, one of the semi-breakout backs of this year, can’t even get on the field for Lei’s squad…) EDGE: Jammers

WR/TE: Aside from having a drool worthy backfield, Jammers also have Antonio Brown, the best receiver in the game. My goodness! For this Super Bowl Xmas matchup, it’ll be Brown, Demaryius Thomas, and whoever becomes the third receiver here. Last week it was Jordan Matthews, but we have a suspicion Kenny Britt, Tyreek Hill, Taylor Gabriel, or even Jeremy Maclin might get the call for their big play ability.

Unfortunately, Jubas is coming into this matchup with their number one receiver, Mike Evans, in quite a slump. The good news is Tampa Bay will play New Orleans this week, so a return to big numbers could happen for Evans. It needs to happen actually, for Jubas to have a chance. And maybe Eric could slide Alshon Jeffery into the hero slot, as Jeffery is back on the field and had a great last week. Otherwise Eric'll be juggling between Emmanuel Sanders, Tyrell Williams, and JJ Nelson for starting receivers. None look like difference changers. EDGE: Jammers

DEF/K: Matt Bryant and Matt Prater are both top kickers, working for high scoring offenses. Bryant has been the #1 kicker for most of the year, giving Jammers yet another top position option, but there’s really no big difference between Bryant and Prater. And both defenses are pretty fantasy boring. Chargers and Titans, for Jubas and Jammers respectively, are both okay but neither will top more than five or six points this weekend. EDGE: None

Prediction: There’s no way not to predict a Jammers win, as they’ve been the highest scoring team all year long (117.2 to 109.3 for Jubas), the most consistent team week-by-week, and also seem to be playing their best ball at just the right time. Fat Jubas did beat Jammers in their lone matchup this year, but that was in WK2, pre-Bell. For Jubas to win this time out, Eric will have to rely on some witchcraft for that once in a decade upset. Fun fact: Jubas has made three back-to-back Super Bowl appearances (2005-6, 2011-12, 2015-6), and each time it's been a win and a loss, so that portends well for their matchup this weekend. Still, we are going with Jammers by twelve points...

2016 RD2 Matchups

Tiiite End Jammers (10-3) vs Chunky Monkeys (7-6)
The Malcolm Mitchell versus Julian Edelman matchup on MNF determined the fate of Inscrutable Drama Kings’ first round, and in the end, Monkeys snuck out with a close victory behind Kirk Cousins, DeSean Jackson, and Mitchell’s MNF heroics. However, having only topped 100+ in one of the last five weeks, Evan’s team seems ill equipped to fend off Jammers, who haven’t gone under the century mark since WK7, and threw up 144.7 (non-counting) points during the bye. Should Monkeys just concede now?

Fat Jubas (9-4) vs Battle Angel (7-6)
With both teams floundering in round one, Battle Angel used a 21.7 point outburst from Jeremy Hill to edge out Ping’s team, who didn’t have anyone except Caleb Sturgis, the kicker, go over double digits. Now Vu gets to face the Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses division winner, a team that averaged 109.3 ppg (to just 98.1 from Angel) this season. Battle Angel’s hopes ride on anther quiet week from Jubas' David Johnson and Mike Evans, while simultaneously hoping Drew Brees and TY Hilton are enough to fend off Matthew Stafford and Emmanuel Sanders, plus LeGarrette Blount versus Jeremy Hill. Actually, this could be quite the matchup! Can Fat Jubas make their fourth Super Bowl in six years? Or will Battle Angel make a return appearance to the big game (their last one was in 2013)?

Toilet Bowl
#2 Dirty Birds (5-8) vs #4 Fobsters (3-10)
Nothing exciting here, as Fobsters neatly dispatched top seed Athena Nike behind a huge Tom Brady game and also a Carlos Hyde and Jordy Nelson cherry on top. The Dirty Birds had home field advantage and used every inch of it to crush Gang Green 116.8 - 63.9. Last year’s champs could win a Toilet Bowl again (they won in 2014), or Fobsters could get over the hump after losing out to Buffy in the fight for the #1 overall pick last season -- they won in 2013. Either way, both of these teams have had Toilet Bowl success, and another Chinese school rivalry lives on!

Playoff Matchups 2016

Not much changed since WK6, as the playoff matchups we expected then shook out basically exactly the same! What a weird year for fantasy, and it's safe to say that there are some pretty hobbled teams fighting it out in RD1...

PLAYOFFS
LA Buffy (8-5) vs Chunky Monkeys (7-6)
Despite scoring only 97.8 ppg — the lowest in IDK division — Buffy faced the league’s softest schedule and took advantage to start 6-2 before stumbling a bit down the stretch. The good news is that they’re 2-0 this season in H2H matchups versus Monkeys, and even the loss of Rob Gronkowski won’t hurt too much, as he’s been MIA most of this season anyway. Losing AJ Green though, that’ll hurt a lot, and Cam Newton will need Matt Forte and Julian Edelman to really step up if they hope to avoid the upset this week, and to pick up their first postseason win since the 2012.

Chunky Monkeys was in danger of missing the playoffs for the first time in five years, but they managed to win WK11-12, and secure their postseason spot. Self-admittedly one of the weaker Monkeys teams in recent years, Evan recently traded for Mark Ingram to shore up an empty running game — an astonishing fourteen running backs have been used this season — and Kirk Cousins has been handed the reins after Matt Stafford and Dak Prescott were around for most of the year. It’s an open question if Julio Jones and Terrelle Pryor’s big play ability will be enough for these Monkeys to hit the second round...

Battle Angel (7-6) vs Philadelphia Phreaks (6-7)
Two equal, both 3-3, teams entered WK13, working to get home field advantage for their playoff matchup. To be honest, Battle Angel’s 98.1 - 83.8 victory doesn’t mean that much, except a slight uptick in confidence I guess. Neither team has put up a century game in three weeks, so this likely won’t be an explosive affair. If Drew Brees can put up a huge game, he could win this matchup almost by himself, perhaps needing just one explosive week from either T.Y. Hilton, Jarvis Landry, Stefon Diggs, or Kelvin Benjamin. Or maybe Vu will choose to go to the ground by throwing out Jeremy Hill and Jay Ajayi together? Let's see what Angel has in store for Phreaks when the game actually counts...

Ping's Phreaks average a league low 89.9 ppg, but they’ve battled to an almost 0.500 record this season, and secured an early playoff spot to boot. While they don’t have much top end explosiveness as a team, Ping’s team does have a superstar quarterback of his own: sophomore Marcus Mariota, who has put up incredible stats since a slow first month. Mariota has been pretty much just as good as Brees this season! Also, the strong running game of Devonta Freeman and Spencer Ware could present a roadmap to victory for Phreaks. Which of these teams will get to the next round?!

BYES
Tiiite End Jammers (10-3), Fat Jubas (9-4)
Well, Lei’s team is going for two out of three titles, and had an impressive bounce back from a post-championship hangover. Leading the league in wins and points — 117.2 per game — Jammers is coming off of four straight victories and has pushed past the century mark in each of their last seven games. Led by Andrew Luck, DeMarco Murray, LeVeon Bell, and Antonio Brown, plus the best kicker in the game (Matt Bryant), Jammers is the odds-on favorite to take their third title overall!

After making the Super Bowl last year on the “strength" of a 5-8 record, Fat Jubas will look to reappear in this year's championship game with a Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses division title in tow. The class of the division with 109.3 ppg, Eric’s team is riding David Johnson, the way underrated Mike Evans, and LeGarrette Blount toward their third title chance as well. It looks like Jubas will go with Matthew Stafford into the postseason, as Carson Palmer was dumped after starting most of the year. And despite a three game losing streak W6-8, Eric’s team has picked it up in recent weeks again, finishing strong with four wins in their last five games.

TOILET BOWL
#1 Athena Nike (6-7) vs #4 Fobsters (3-10)
It’s a battle of old Chinese school foes as Frank and Jimmy face off in RD1 of the Toilet Bowl. Athena Nike was actually the third highest scoring team in the league — at 109.1 ppg -- but they couldn’t get to 0.500 and started  the season off 2-5, torpedoing their playoff fortunes. The silver lining here is that Frank could draft #1 back-to-back if they can win the Toilet Bowl this year, which would be quite the cherry on top of his rebuild. Could Leonard Fournette join Ezekiel Elliot in Nike’s backfield next season?!

Similar story for Fobsters, as they’re the second highest scoring team in SMG division, and fourth overall. Despite that, Fobsters only acquired three wins this season, after getting pounded by a league leading 112.1 PA, and starting off 0-6. Even with Tom Brady back, Fobsters managed to dump their last four games too. The good news is that Brady, Melvin Gordon, and Jordy Nelson are playing hot right now, and there’s a chance Fobsters could upset their way to a Toilet Bowl finals.

#2 Dirty Birds (5-8) vs #3 Gang Green (4-9)
Our defending champs had a horrific year, as they faced a tough schedule and a multitude of injuries, including losing Adrian Peterson for the season early on. Dirty Birds had Matt Ryan, LeSean McCoy, and Odell Beckham submit stellar numbers but that wasn’t nearly enough, as they enter the Toilet Bowl having lost three of their last four, and clearly won’t get a chance to go back-to-back. The post-championship curse remains!

Facing off against his old college roommate, Greg’s Gang Green is coming into their matchup with four losses in their last five, so it’ll be a game of serious losers. The young arm of Derek Carr throwing to old guys Larry Fitzgerald and Michael Crabtree just wasn't enough this season, especially with an erratic ground game that provided no consistent presence. A number one overall pick would be great for the perpetually starless Greenies, but it’ll be an uphill battle to earn one this year.

Super Bowl XV

As we mentioned last week, we had two #3 seeds facing for the 2015 championship. Fat Jubas entered the playoffs on the strength of a 5-8 record and then promptly dispatched two higher seeds behind two stellar weeks, barely breaking a yawn in the process. Dirty Birds snuck into the playoffs with a respectable a 7-6 record and then used big weeks to dispatch their division’s top two seeds, with only a scare from defending champ Chunky Monkeys.

For our Super Bowl XV showdown, it was last year's Toilet Bowl matchup all over again, but this time for bigger stakes! Both Jubas and Birds had a lot on the line. Namely, one of them was going to join the list of three-time champions -- along with Chunky Monkeys and Buffy -- but who was it going to be? Well, after a huge 43.9 point effort from Kirk Cousins on Saturday night, in his first start this season no less, the Birds held on for a victory. Jubas had a shot, with Emmanuel Sanders putting some pressure on MNF, but that effort ultimately fell short. So there we are, DIRTeByRDeeZ take the 2015 title, their first since 2007 -- their first ring was in 2002!

• Dirty Birds vs Fat Jubas, 115.1 - 103.7

Startlingly, there’s still a player left over from that roster eight years ago: Adrian Peterson. After almost getting traded this offseason, AP bounced back from a season of suspension and turmoil to become the #2 ranked running back. And it was his 18.4 point performance in the waning stages of Super Bowl XV that gave Dirty Birds the necessary buffer to win out. Dirty Bird started the season 1-5 before embarking on a six game win streak to get into the playoffs, and basically going 9-1 from WK7 and on, all the way toward a title.

Despite this, they were hardly one of the top teams for most of the season. They averaged 105.4 PF, good for only fourth in the Inscrutable Drama Kings division — and only edging out fifth place by +7.3 total PF. They did take out powerhouse Chunky Monkeys twice this season, but also lost both matchups against defending champs Tiiite End Jammers, who finished the year 4-8-1. This was not at all a wire-to-wire dominant season, like those Jammers had in 2014.

And let’s not forget that Andrew Luck, top keeper and last year’s #1 QB, was shelved by WK7 and replaced by Eli Manning. Manning did acquit himself quite well, ending the season as #8 on the quarterback charts, but he was benched in the big game for Kirk Cousins, who basically caught fire for the fantasy playoffs and probably could have been inserted into the lineup sooner. The offseason saw GM Jon trade away Rob Gronkowski and cut Larry Fitzgerald, who only turned in top ten WR/TE seasons. Whoops.

Odell Beckham Jr. was spectacular again in his sophomore season but his untimely suspension really hurt the Birds during the title game, forcing Tyler Lockett and Ted Ginn Jr. into the lineup. That duo put up a measly 6.2 points combined. But at least Sammy Watkins put in a good year, coming in with a huge second half of the season to soften the blow of keeping him over Gronk. And Tyler Eifert was a key contributor this year, although he was unavailable for most of the playoff run.

LeSean McCoy was supposed to start next to Adrian Peterson but he found himself in a semi-timeshare with Karlos Williams and while McCoy had a respectable season overall, he gave way to likely Rookie of the Year, Todd Gurley, for most of the season. As for Gurley, after starting off his career with legendary numbers, he slowed down a little before picking it up just in time for the playoffs, putting up 27.2 - 14.9 - 15.7 points in successive weeks.

In retrospect you could say that the Birds lucked into a Super Bowl win, or maybe they made all the right moves in shifting pieces around to adjust for roster instability and disappointment. At the end of the day, a team that has always been quite good on paper finally broke through and took their third championship. Greatest franchise ever? Nah, but not too bad!

As for Fat Jubas, their thrilling run into the Super Bowl marked the second straight year a 5-8 team from Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses made the championship game. Eric declared that his 5-8 team was the better squad heading into Super Bowl XV and with 128.7 - 100.1 - 127.8 points scored in the past three weeks, he had a strong argument. However, despite great games from rookies Jameis Winston and David Johnson, 25.8 and 20.2 pts respectively, Jubas fell just short.

The roster moving forward for Jubas is very interesting, as Eric will have lots of keeper decisions to make in the backfield. The mid-season trade for Marshawn Lynch didn’t work out as Allen Robinson emerged as a huge game changer right as Lynch headed to IR. And CJ Anderson and Jeremy Hill both regressed, with one or both likely on the keeper chopping block. And then there's 2014’s #2 overall pick, Melvin Gordon... Is a guy who had only three double digit games all season worth keeping? The shiny silver lining among the running back corps is David Johnson, who exploded over the past three weeks and should be keeper worthy.

Jubas was led by receivers in points scored all season, and those top three — Mike Evans, Emmanuel Sanders, Alshon Jeffery — should return as an area of strength. Two runner-up seasons for Fat Jubas in consecutive years, what will happen next? A Toilet Bowl win? Another Super Bowl title? Maybe both?!

Road to the Super Bowl XV

How did we get here? Let’s do a quick recap since we missed all the action from rounds one and two. With Chunky Monkeys and Gang Green taking a well deserved break from the action, Athena Nike and Dirty Birds faced off for the right to face off against #1 seed Evan. Frank and Jon had been on friendly terms all season, discussing trades and pickups, but all that niceness was put on hold as Eli Manning and Odell Beckham teamed up to throw up 30+ points each and blow out Nike, who only had Aaron Rodgers and Panthers defense show up to the battle.

During the next round, Dirty Birds faced a much tougher challenge versus the slumping Chunky Monkeys. By the end of Sunday night, it looked like Jon would be down for the count after leaving Kirk Cousins and Ted Ginn Jr. on the bench, but somehow Eli and Odell had a brief (and controversy filled) comeback and then when Calvin Johnson and Tim Hightower could only muster a combined 12.4 pts on MNF, that sealed Evan’s collapse.

For Fat Jubas, the path was much easier as they found themselves peaking at just the right time and dispatched the higher ranked Philadelphia Phreaks and then Gang Green in easy fashion. David Johnson exploded for 42.9 pts in the conference finals and Johnson’s one of the only sure things in a lineup that GM Eric has been juggling in recent weeks to get the best production. If he can strike for magic once again Jubas could pull off a tremendous Super Bowl win as a losing team, and on a four game winning streak to boot.

Both the Birds and Jubas are looking for their third titles, with Jubas’ two coming in 2005 and 2012 and the Birds’ coming in 2002 and 2007. On paper, Jon’s team has the bigger names, and are 8-1 heading into the Super Bowl, but they’ve also been very mercurial, with a defense that has scored zero and negative two points in recent weeks. Plus, Odell Beckham is facing a one game suspension at the worst possible time, so Jubas is going to be in prime position to have his WR heavy team — Mike Evans, Alshon Jeffery, Emmanuel Sanders, and Allen Robinson are the top four scorers — bomb their way to an upset victory. Which coach will pilot their team to history? Let’s find out!

ROUND ONE

• Dirty Birds (7-6) def Athena Nike (9-4), 128.6 - 84.4
• Fat Jubas (5-8) def Philadelphia Phreaks (8-5), 100.1 - 76.1
• Byes: Chunky Monkeys, Gang Green

CONFERENCE FINALS

• Dirty Birds (7-6) def Chunky Monkeys (10-3), 101.4 - 94.8
• Fat Jubas (5-8) def Gang Green (9-4), 127.8 - 95.4

Playoff Matchups

PLAYOFFS
Athena Nike (9-4) vs Dirty Birds (7-6)
During a so-called “rebuilding year,” Frank’s team went 8-1 down the stretch and almost stole an Inscrutable Drama Kings title from Monkeys. Instead, they’ll have to be happy being the hottest team in the division heading into the playoffs, and then try to knock off Evan in the division title game. A long playoff run could be hard with Rob Gronkowski out and basically the entire team dinged up but the path is clear for Nike!

After a 1-5 start to the season, it looked like Dirty Birds were headed straight to the Toilet Bowl, especially with Andrew Luck having a totally lost season. However, six straight wins later and Jon was headed to the playoffs, despite losing their last matchup. With the Eli Manning and Odell Beckham combo leading the way, Birds hope to pull off an improbable first round upset.

Philadelphia Phreaks (8-5) vs Fat Jubas (5-8)
Phreaks won the Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses division last year with a 7-6 record, but will have to battle in the first round despite one more win. After starting off the season 3-4, Ping righted the ship and cranked out five wins in six tries to lock up a playoff spot. With new superstar Allen Robinson on the rise, can they pick up their first post-season win since 2006?

The annual “this team doesn’t really deserve to be in the playoffs do they?” team, Fat Jubas. Two straight wins qualifies Jubas as “hot” however, in this division, and Eric’s team will be looking to make noise, as history has shown us that a team with a losing record can still advance far in the post-season. With Marshawn Lynch lost for the season, David Johnson, Jeremy Hill, and Darren McFadden will have to step up together.

BYES
Chunky Monkeys (10-3), Gang Green (9-4)
Evan’s team started off the season on a seven win streak before being upended by the defending champs, Tiiite End Jammers, in WK9. Including that loss, Monkeys have been only 2-3 and have lost to both Athena Nike and Dirty Birds in recent weeks. Still, there may be nothing to fear here as this team is the highest PF in the league at 116.9 ppg and only had one week below the century mark. That’s consistency!

Similarly, Gang Green started off 6-1 before going only 3-3 the rest of the way. With injured players left and right — Jimmy Graham and Mark Ingram are both out of the season -- Greg must be happy for this much needed bye. That’lll give Blake Bortles an extra week to show us that he could possibly be a (fantasy) championship quarterback!

TOILET BOWL
#1 LA Buffy (6-6-1) vs #4 Battle Angel (2-11)
It’s tough to get into a winning rhythm when you're facing the toughest PA in the league. Buffy was respectable the whole year but despite two wins to close out the season, they missed the playoffs by one game. Buffy has had to deal with losing Arian Foster and Julian Edelman for the year, also Matt Forte missed some extended game time. But with Carson Palmer and AJ Green blowing up, they are the favorites to win the Toilet Bowl.

I guess when you start 2-4 with a four game losing streak and then finish off the season with seven straight losses you’re the worst team in the league. With a last place PF that averaged 86.9 ppg, Vu’s squad didn’t even need a tough schedule to bury them. Martavis Bryant has been brilliant since his return from injury but we’re thinking this might be Drew Brees last year leading Battle Angel...

#2 Tiiite End Jammers (4-8-1) vs #3 Fobsters (4-9)
Our defending champs had a limp title defense, starting off with just one win in their first eight matchups. But at least they gave Monkeys their first loss of the season. Strangely, Jammers had a good 3-4-1 division record but went 1-4 against the other (weaker) side, which does not load well for their cross division matchup versus Fobsters. Oh yeah, last year this was our Super Bowl XIIII matchup, can you believe that?

Jimmy’s team crapped the bed with one win in their last eight tries, and basically rode Tom Brady the whole season while the rest of the roster fluctuated due to a startling amount of injuries. At least some nice finds happened, with Chris Ivory, Travis Benjamin, TJ Yeldon, and TE sensation Gary Barnidge contributing around Brady. Can they pull off a Toilet Bowl upset or two like their “magical” run to the Super Bowl last year? We’ll see!

Playoffs: Super Bowl Preview

Tiiite End Jammers (12-1) vs Fobsters (5-8)
Number one overall seed Tiiite End Jammers laid the smack down on defending champ Chunky Monkeys. It was over by early Sunday afternoon, as Lei’s resurgent franchise looked ready to cruise their way to the title game, their first since 2003 — when they won the championship with a team featuring Priest Holmes and Ahman Green. They’ll be facing off against Fobsters, who hit the Super Bowl in 2010, but haven’t found much success since, excluding last year’s Toilet Bowl win. Jimmy’s team upset Philadelphia Phreaks with an impressive performance themselves, as they took eliminated the only team with a winning record from the Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses division.

Even though Fobsters will be facing an uphill battle in this championship game, they conceivably have the chance to pull off a major upset as they’ve consistently been able to reach 120-130+ points recently. Of course, Jammers averaged 133.7 points over the regular season, so it’s going to take an all in effort for Fobsters to win.

• Tiiite End Jammers (12-1) vs Chunky Monkeys (84.5), 122.8 - 84.5
• Fobsters (5-8) vs Philadelphia Phreaks (7-6), 131.0 - 39.4

QB: Tom Brady has regained his championship form recently, posting great efforts for the past three months. Russell Wilson hasn’t been bad himself, and only a point or two separate the two quarterbacks on the season. Wilson is a bit more erratic but he’s just as capable of putting up a 30+ point game as Brady. We’ll give the edge to Brady though, as New England is more than happy to pile on the points. EDGE: Fobsters

RB: Well, Jammers have the #1 and #2 backs in football, so there’s not much to debate here. Le’Veon Bell has been incredible, and DeMarco Murray is right up there with him. Both are basically rampaging monsters and Bell has especially been on a roll recently, posting 35.4 and 44.5 points recently. Fobsters will counter with Eddie Lacy, who is having a good second half of the season, but he’s not Bell and Murray. EDGE: Jammers

WR/TE: Fobsters run a four wide attack featuring a great collection of receivers. Jordy Nelson is #2 in WR points, Dez Bryant is in the top ten, and rookie Kelvin Benjamin has refound his early season success. That fourth receiver is veteran Steve Smith, who has been alternating great weeks with decent ones. That’s not bad right? Well, the problem is that Jammers also feature some stellar receivers. In fact, Antonio Brown and Demaryius Thomas are the #1 and #3 WRs this season, and Jeremy Maclin is ranked #7, one spot ahead of Dez Bryant. So even though Fobsters have more receivers, it’s quality over quantity in this matchup, especially when you consider that Smith is sort of taking the place of one of the running backs. EDGE: Jammers

DEF/K: Usually there’s no need to cover defenses or kickers, but in this case, both teams have very highly ranked defenses. Jammers have Rams defense, who have been stifling folks recently, and have scored TDs in three of their last four weeks. Fobsters counter with a Bills defense that also has three TDs in their last four games, and just took down Peyton Manning and Aaron Rodgers, so there’s no telling what they could do to Derek Carr next week. EDGE: Even

Prediction: Jammers win by fifteen, without hardly breaking a sweat. This just seems like their season, and without an unfortunate (but fortunate) WK10 loss, Lei’s team would have been undefeated and then in the conversation for the greatest season ever!

Playoffs: RD1 Recap

PLAYOFFS, RD1
Chunky Monkeys (7-6) vs Buffy (8-5), 117.8 - 126.4
Last year’s champion Monkeys pull off a big upset as Julio Jones, Calvin Johnson, and Jamaal Charles help fend off Arian Foster and A.J. Green. Recent champion Buffy enjoyed a return to the post-season after last year’s Toilet Bowl showing, but was ultimately upended — with Ryan Fitzpatrick captaining the loss, when Matthew Stafford or Jay Cutler would have earned the win.

Fobsters (5-8) vs Gang Green (5-8), 123.5 - 49.3
With four of their five teams going 5-8, the Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses sent their “best” to the post-season. Fobsters haven’t hit the playoffs since 2010 and Gang Green since 2009 (their co-champion year). Greenies got blasted off the field as only their defense and kicker scored double digits. For Fobsters, they had huge performances from Tom Brady, Eddie Lacy, and Jordy Nelson on their way to an easy win.

BYE: Tiiite End Jammers (12-1), Philadelphia Phreaks (7-5)

TOILET BOWL
Dirty Birds (6-7) vs Athena Nike (5-8), 122.4 - 91.7
Fat Jubas (5-8) vs Battle Angel (5-8), 112.1 - 99.7

SuperBowl XIII

Chunky Monkeys vs Battle Angel, 93.3 - 79.7
A championship match up defined by peaks and valleys.  There really is no other way to describe what we saw this past weekend in the thirteenth CTDB super bowl with a match up between long time Mt. Carmel friends, Vu's Battle Angels and Evan's Chunky Monkeys.

Similar to their last win, the Monkeys seemingly had etched out a smoothly paved win to their third title. The Dirty Birds found a way to beat the Jammers, who at the time, was one of the hottest teams in the league.  However, the victory came at a high price and the Birds found themselves severely handicapped with Adrian Peterson and Rob Gronkowski out. The number one ranked Monkeys found themselves matched up against a very undermanned Dirty Birds.  As expected, the Monkeys cruised to an easy victory mostly on the back of your 2013 fantasy MVP, Jamaal Charles.

The same could be said for the Super Bowl.  The Jubas were the number one team on the SMG division but somehow found  themselves on the losing end against the Angels. This left the Angels matched up against the goliath Monkeys. Adding insult to injury, Angel's quarterback, Drew Brees had a really tough road match up against Carolina (who the Angels also had on their roster) and the Angels had to scramble to find viable starters for BenJarvus Green Ellis and Brian Hartline -- both were barely startable.

Then came the extreme makeover. Battle Angels tabbed free agent running back Dennis Johnson as his flex player; Johnson was named the Texans starter just three days before the match up. Then Angels promoted Greg Jennings over Hartline, and followed that up by signing Andy Dalton and the Rams defense off the street. The insertion of Johnson and Jennings was just the beginning. Coach Vu then showed the hairiest set of cojones you'll see this side of Mississippi. Despite Brees and Carolina being the second best QB and DEF all year, coach Vu decided to bench both in favor of the Red Rocket, Andy Dalton, and Rams defense. This meant half of the starting roster was new, just in time for the big game.

The last two calls were brilliant. Commissioner Jon called the moves "genius." Dalton went on to throw for 366 yards and 4 TDs, good for 43 points. On the bench, Brees was pedestrian with only 17 points. This is the single best Super Bowl pick up ever. The Rams put up seven sacks and two fumbles good for another 15 points.

Then the Angels peaked. Dalton and the Rams were nearly 75% of the Angels production. No other player scored over 9 points. Despite this mediocrity, the Angels had a strong chance going into Monday Night Football -- coincidentally the last game ever at Candlestick Park -- needing less than 14 points from Vernon Davis.  The same VD who was the third best TE all year. Instead, Coach Vu got a big fat zero from Vernon. Three targets, no catches. Unbelievable.

And that's how it ended for the Angels; needing 14 to win, the Angels got the the bagel.  43 points from the free agent quarterback and zero points from the veteran starting tight end who's been on the Angels keeper list the past two years.

On the flip side, it was another successful rebuilding year for the Monkeys.  After failing to make the playoffs for the first time in team history in 2011, the Monkeys made it to the division championships in 2012 and found themselves in a familiar position this year with a shot at the ring.

The highest scoring team this year averaged nearly 120 points per week and was led by Jamaal Charles, far and away the best non-QB this year.  However, we shouldn't forget that the Monkeys also had the #1 and #2 receivers with Megatron and Josh Gordon (who the Monkeys signed off the street in WK2 after the Angels cut him!). Charles finished the fantasy season with 1,287 rushing yards, 693 receiving yards and 19 combined touchdowns.  That is LT-esque if you ask me.  Through the air, Megatron and Gordon combined for 164 catches for 3,056 yards and and 21 touchdowns.   No other combination was close.

The team overcame season ending injuries to Julio Jones and Randall Cobb, Shane Vereen was basically was on IR all year, and Trent Richardson basically should've been injured.  The rest of the team was supported by quarterback Russell Wilson -- who performed more than admirably -- and a rotating cast of receivers ranging from Torrey Smith, to Harry Douglas, to Michael Floyd. All of them got a couple starts and while none were able to show sustained success, it was more than enough.  In the flex, we saw the emergence of Shane Vereen and Giovani Bernard.  Pundits suspect we'll see one of the two on the keeper list next year.  It's important to note the success of the Monkey's 2013 supplemental draft. Bernard, Vereen and Smith were the first draft picks.  All of them stayed with the team the entire year and all three contributed significantly all year.

Looking ahead, the future is bright for the Monkeys.  The Monkeys survived without three keepers in Julio Jones, Randall Cobb and Trent Richardson.  If things go as expected, a receiver core with Megatron, Julio and newly found superstud Josh Gordon will form the strongest receiving core the Monkeys have featured yet.  Jamaal Charles will likely be the #1 overall pick in drafts next year and the flex we suspect will go to a young rising star in Gio Bernard.  If all goes well, this may be the best keeper roster we've seen from the Monkeys -- even better than the 2007 roster which included Peyton, LT, Larry Johnson and Terrell Owens.

The Monkeys will earn their third ring -- second in four years -- which ties them with Buffy.  This certainly re-establishes the Monkey as the team to beat in CTDB.  All hail the Monkeys!!