Franchise: Tiiite End Jammers

With the first of our ongoing series, we look at all ten CTDB franchises. The last time we did this was over ten years ago so let's start anew and see where our teams have gotten to in the meantime: Franchises 2.0.

#7 Tiiite End Jammers, Lei
It's been hard to stand out in the super powered division that is Marvel, formerly Inscrutable Drama Kings. Multiple Super Bowl appearances, multiple titles, and even a handful of division wins have not been enough to set the Jammers apart as the cream of their division. However, make no mistake about it, Tiiite End Jammers are dangerous when they put it all together, as evidenced by the two shiny rings on Lei’s fingers. “Jammed Up (2008)”

Regular Season [ 118-114-2, 0.509 ]
We’ve said before that a successful Jammer season was usually one in which they tore out of the gates and then smashed their way to a title. Their two most successful start-to-finish seasons were exactly like this, as they went 11-2 and 12-1 in 2003 and 2014 respectively, ending both of those campaigns with Super Bowl victories, Super Bowl III and Super Bowl XIIII. The same thing would have happened in 2016, if not for an upset win in the title game by Fat Jubas.

In the first three seasons of CTDB, Jammers compiled a 26-13 regular season record and looked like a team for the future. However, a 5-8 2004 campaign followed, and then a 3-10 2005, and those two years were the start of the lost decade for Jammers. Between 2004 and 2012, Lei’s team posted a 45-71-1 record with only one season above 0.500 and an incredible five 5-8 records in nine years, including three in a row. It seemed like the Jammer franchise was lost at sea after their early success.

However, a bounce-back 8-5 2013 led into a rampaging 2014 and another Marvel division title — their second — as well as another championship. While it hasn’t all been smooth sailing since then — Jammers went 4-8-1 right after that second title year — there has at least been some stability as Jammers has been 23-16 in the last three seasons.

Overall, Jammers has captured three division titles and taken the regular season wins crown three times, which ties them with second-most along with Buffy and Battle Angels. All that winning and losing may come in erratic ups and downs but Jammers' 0.509 regular season winning percentage is good enough to rank them fourth overall in CTDB, right behind three of their Capcom division mates. Perhaps that lost decade was just due to being in a tough division that often saw the Jammers squeezed against some of the best teams in the league?

Playoffs [ 8-8, 0.500 | 16 games ]
For the most part, if Jammers can get out of the first round of the playoffs, they tend to do pretty well. Overall they've seen ten playoff seasons, which is the median mark for the league. Jammers have suffered four first round exits in seven tries though. However if they can get to the divisional round, they are slightly better at 3-3, albeit with all three of those wins coming when they’ve earned a first round bye. The short answer to Jammers’ postseason recipe is this: get a bye and avoid the first round.

The Jammers rarely get upset, or do the upsetting, and their closest playoff victory was all the way back in 2001, by eight points over Chunky Monkeys. Their next closest win was fifteen years later — +12.20 points in 2016 — over the Monkeys yet again. Overall, the Jammers don’t keep it close that often in the playoffs. They’ve literally only had one other single digit game aside from that 2001 matchup, a six point upset loss in 2013 to Dirty Birds. The Jammers really are all or nothing!

Jammers are 1-1 overall versus Fat Jubas, 1-1 versus Athena Nike, 1-0 versus both Jimmy and Jae, and have never met half the teams in CTDB in the playoffs. Is that weird? They have also never beaten Buffy or Dirty Birds in the playoffs, in two and four tries respectively. However, the Jammers are the undisputed Monkeys killers. Lei’s team has knocked Evan out of the playoffs four times in the playoffs — including back-to-back in our first two CTDB seasons — and have yet to lose a playoff game to Chunky. Do we smell huge rivalry here?

Toilet Bowl [ 2-4, 0.333 | 6 games ]
There’s been four Toilet Bowl appearances for Jammers — three in a row in 2010, 2011, 2012 — and they’ve managed to get to the TB Finals twice. Chunky Monkeys finally beat Jammers in a postseason matchup, winning the 2011 Toilet Bowl by +48.60 points, but even that victory was slightly Pyrrhic as Evan chose Trent Richardson with the first overall pick while Lei took DeMarco Murray. GM Lei seems to have a knack for doing great things with the number two overall pick as the following year he lost in the TB Finals to Gang Green but grabbed Le’Veon Bell in the following draft — while Greg took David Wilson. Here’s hoping we don’t see Jammers in the Toilet Bowl for some time, as they’ve been on a franchise tying streak of three straight seasons in the playoffs. Otherwise if you see Jammers in the TB Finals, it may be best to let them win...

Keepers [ 2008 - 2019 ]
Jammers have had the luxury of two of the longest tenured superstar receivers for their keeper core. It’s been seven years apiece for Demaryius Thomas and Antonio Brown on Tiiite End Jammers. Of course, 2019 could bring a change of scenery here as Thomas was let go as a keeper and Brown is well, facing some issues. Franchise runner Le’Veon Bell is going on his sixth year with Jammers while Tony Romo and DeMarco Murray had both logged five years each. There was also Percy Harvin for four years, plus a couple of keeper slots kept around for Maurice Jones-Drew and Julio Jones over the years. The current core still has Brown, Bell, and Jones, but new blood could be coming as the Jammers’ ex-Steelers are starting to lose their shine with on and off the field problems aplenty.

  • Playoff Appearances: 10
  • Division Titles: 3
  • Most Regular Season Wins: 3
  • Super Bowl Appearances: 3
  • Championships: 2 (2003, 2014)
  • Toilet Bowl Finals: 2
  • Toilet Bowl Winner: 0
  • Regular Season: 118-114-2, 0.509
  • Overall Postseason: 10-12, 0.455 (22 games)
  • Playoffs: 8-8, 0.500 (16 games)
  • Toilet Bowl: 2-4, 0.333 (6 games)
  • Playoff Point Differential: -52.60 points
  • TB Point Differential: -62.65 points

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