Somehow, the entire Inscrutable Drama Kings lost their games this week while the Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses won all of theirs. In this year's battle for division bragging rights, it can be rightly said that the SMGs are the winner. After all, they boast the top two records in the league despite scoring slightly less than the IDK side. But history isn't made in
the regular season. Even a regular season that featured extreme parity and balance.
Here's the big questions heading into the playoffs: Can the Battle Angels rise from the depths to claim their first championship? Can Gang Green repeat and capture their first solo crown? Or will the Drama Kings continue their dominance in the big game? If history tells us anything, it's the
Tiiite End Jammers turn to be the next two-time champs, but with no dominant teams this year, the next few weeks will be extremely interesting.
TOP OF THE WORLD
Battle Angel (9-4)Wrapping up the most successful season in
franchise history is cause for celebration. It's been a long time coming as the Angels have been on a downslide recently and haven't posted a winning record since 2004. This year, they had a 8-1 record to close the season
(after starting out 0-3), and had five and four game winning streaks. They've also scored 125 and 134 points in recent weeks and it's almost a shame they'll be on bye as they're clearly peaking.
Lacking a strong running game all season, Vu's team is suddenly bolstered by the emergence of RB
DeAngelo Williams, who has posted 20+ points in four straight weeks. That takes some of the pressure off the fantastic aerial game that features QB Drew Brees slinging it all over the field to WRs Greg Jennings, Andre Johnson, and Steve Smith. We think the Angels are a clear threat for the championship and with their high octane offense, they could ignite their way right into the Super Bowl.
Chunky Monkeys (8-5)Evan's worst season in the league still left him atop the standings at the end of the day in the Inscrutable Drama Kings Division -- while scoring the most points of any team. Since WK7, the Monkeys have gone 6-1 (the only loss coming in last week's meaningless regular season finale) and gone over the century mark five times.
While franchise stalwarts Peyton Manning, LaDainian Tomlinson, and Terrell Owens have had their cold streaks this season, the emergence of rookies Matt Forte and Chris Johnson really helped to offset their slides. With WR Anquan Boldin fully healthy, and the underrated Vincent Jackon (replacing the entirely useless Chad Johnson) on board, the roster is loaded. So here's the story at the end of the day: The Monkeys are a top contender for the championship. Again.
THE CHALLENGERS
Gang Green (9-4)Just like the real life New York Giants, Gang Green are coming off
a surprising Super Bowl victory by tacking on a great regular season -- proving that maybe it shouldn't have been all that surprising. And now they're the hottest team in the league after winning five games in a row to close out the season. While the Greenies aren't as explosive as some of the other contenders, they are consistent, managing to post 90-110 points almost every week.
By taking a grind it out mentality behind New York RBs Brandon Jacobs and
Thomas Jones, Gang Green punishes lazy opponents and grinds them into submission. The passing game is in good hands too, with deep threats Randy Moss and Bernard Berrian (replacing that idiot Plax) matching up nicely with the solid hands of Hines Ward. To be honest, Gang Green is probably going to go as far as QB Brett Favre can take them. Seeing as the Jets are Greg's favorite team, this seems to be poetic.
J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets!Fat Jubas (7-6)At mid-season, the Jubas were 2-5 and seen to be out of the playoff picture. Since then however, the Jubas have posted five wins and their only loss was a blowout to the Monkeys in WK12. Now, the
only champions to emerge from the SMG division is poised for a deep playoff run. It helps that they have two of the better RBs in the game in Michael Turner and Frank Gore. They aren't without some question marks though.
If the Jubas had a better all around season, QB Kurt Warner clearly would have been the league MVP. He's been absolutely amazing this year and was the highest scoring player. The question is who he's been throwing the ball to. Featured WRs Brandon Marshall and Marques Colston were erratic and injured, respectively. The search for an elusive third receiving threat took GM Eric to the depths of the free agent pool. Six different FA receivers were used in the lineup, none posting more than ten points total. At the end of the day, old stalwart Tony Gonzalez has been Warner's favorite target. If the Jubas are to get past Gang Green, they'll need at least one WR to step up.
Dirty Birds (7-6)After jumping out to a 5-1 record to start the season, the Birds took a nosedive and lost three in a row. Scratching their way through the rest of the regular season and into the playoffs, they are determined to fight till the end defending their title. The good news is that the Birds haven't scored under 90 points in five weeks and have some explosive efforts on their side.
With the only change this year coming at the top in QB Jay Cutler, the Birds' strategy has remained mostly the same. The big difference is that they've lost their WR depth of last season in dramatic fashion. Plaxico Burress
was traded away, Greg Jennings was released, and of the remaining options, only
Larry Fitzgerald remained a top tier pass catcher. Wes Welker and Braylon Edwards both regressed, very badly in Edwards case. Still, with the explosive Adrian Peterson on-board and the return of Steven Jackson (along with the emergence of Peyton Hillis), the Birds do have an outside chance to become the first three time winner. Maybe.
Tiiite End Jammers (6-7)The Jammers back doored their way into the playoffs. At mid-season,
this publication declared them the runaway best team this year. Whoops. Since then, the Jammers have won just one game. After posting six century games through the first eight weeks, they've only gone over that mark once (in WK12). Without the collapse of Buffy and Ante Up, the Jammers could have easily missed the postseason. So, what happened?
The answer to that question is simple: injuries. Tony Romo took a few weeks off (but is now back and posting 30+ games), Joseph Addai was hurt, and there was a general let down by the receiving corps in the meantime. Dwayne Bowe and Lee Evans were decent, but Marvin Harrison and Chris Chambers were awful, and both veterans have since been cut. Luckily for the Jammers, the question of who will be that elusive third receiver has been solved by FA pickup Lance Moore, who has caught touchdowns in five straight games. Now if the running game of Clinton Portis (slowed last week by injury) and Joseph Addai can provide a few points, the Jammers are in great position for an upset.
SEE YA LATER
Philadelphia Phreaks (6-7)Geezes, what the hell happened? The Phreaks were basking in the glow of a Phillies championship, their basketball team got Elton Brand, and Donovan McNabb was experiencing an early season resurgence.
At the halfway mark, the Phreaks were number one and on their way to a post-season showing. Then they lost four in a row (all by very close margins) and sealed their fate. Another year, another high draft pick.
We're going to blame the receiving corps for this one, plus a slight side of mismanagement. The best performing WR on the roster,
TJ Houshmandzadeh, inexplicably only played long enough to log eight points for the season. He averaged over ten points a game but Coach Ping never inserted him into the lineup -- and an extra 48 points is all that separated the Phreaks from a playoff spot. Santana Moss and Laveranues Coles went cold as ice during the back half of the season and rookie DeSean Jackson outperformed them both. And let's not even talk about Roy E. Williams, who got neutered when he was moved to Dallas.
At least the running game is in good hands. Even though first overall pick Darren McFadden failed to do much, he has the luxury of growing up behind steady RBs Marshawn Lynch and Maurice Jones-Drew. The big question facing Ping this off-season is whether or not McNabb will be worth a keeper slot and if the fan base will turn after such a big slide.
Fobsters (5-8)Another early season favorite swooned and collapsed over the back half of the season. Sitting pretty at 4-3 just a few weeks ago, Jimmy's team went harakiri and lost the next six in a row. Coming off last year's resurgent season, that had to be a huge let down. The root cause might seem to be Tom Brady's season ending injury but in actuality, Aaron Rodgers was more than an adequate replacement.
The biggest culprit for the Fobsters slide might lie in their lack of team depth. Buoyed by Reggie Bush's amazing early season, the Fobsters were trampling foes and WR Calvin Johnson and TE Jason Witten were cream of the crop. Then Bush and Witten got hurt and it was all over. Lackluster replacements like Earnest Graham, Warrick Dunn, Muhsin Muhammad, Kellen Winslow, and Jerricho Cotchery, plus the inept work of Larry Johnson couldn't quite patch the hole. Still, it can't be said that GM Jimmy didn't give it his all, as injuries followed him all season long and with a few moves, the Fobsters could be back on top again.
Buffy (4-9)It hasn't been easy for Buffy this season. Despite some fine individual performances, the chemistry was just off all season and they collapsed with four straight losses at the end, after never truly being in post-season contention. Facing the league's toughest schedule didn't help their cause any. The highlight of the year? A 91-81 victory over dreaded rival Chunky Monkeys...in Week One (they lost the rematch 120-138).
But all is not lost in Buffy-land because this roster has plenty of talent. In a true transition of the guard, long time stalwart Torry Holt is probably on his way out after a terrible season and a new crop of stars are ready to replace him. The trio of QB Philip Rivers, RB Marion Barber, and WR
Roddy White should be solid for years to come. Willie Parker is a fine keeper once healthy and that means old timer Jamal Lewis is done. After suffering through a tough season with Carson Palmer, there's a good chance he'll be released too. After two straight losing season, Buffy should be on the upswing next year.
Ante Up (4-9)The season began on such a high note after a stellar draft and two wins out of the gate. Then reality hit and Ante Up finished at 4-9 for the second year in a row. Eclipsing the 100+ mark just three times this season indicates that Jae's team needs an infusion of explosiveness. The good news is that Ante Up has a future star in rookie RB Steve Slaton, which was very necessary as the face of the franchise, Brian Westbrook, can't be relied on to stay injury free.
Overall, the team just lacked star power. WR Reggie Wayne was decent, but hardly broke out, catching just 68 balls and 5 TDs. Donald Driver has been supplanted by Greg Jennings as Green Bay's best receiver, and Santonio Holmes wasn't a sleeper, he just slept. With injuries to Ben Roethlisberger early on, the QB carousel of Jake Delhomme, Tyler Thigpen, and Matt Cassel failed to provide dividends.
GM Jae went through lots of free agents in an attempt to find some help for his squad but came up empty. A for effort but a D for execution. The good news is that next year should provided a nice clean slate, the number one overall pick, and more of Steve Slaton.
Last year's championship game came down to a Monday Night matchup and left the combatants in a tie. This year, the final game of the season went down to the Monday night wire too but a clear victor emerged. We probably could have seen this coming. Despite starting the season in a 0-3 hole with two very close losses, Vu's Battle Angels (briefly the Battle Nuggets) were the hottest team in the league by mid-season. After that rough start the Angels went 9-1 the rest of the way. The only loss during that time? A WK9 106-121 matchup with their Super Bowl opponent, the Chunky Monkeys.
Their 113-104 Super Bowl victory wasn't a walk in the park however. Evan's Chunky Monkeys had a stellar lineup of his own and despite a semi-rough season, were more than capable of an upset. Despite not used to being the underdog, the Monkeys blasted out of the gates Thursday night with QB Peyton Manning's 36 points and three touchdowns. With a stable of running backs (LaDainian Tomlinson, Matt Forte, Chris Johnson, Pierre Thomas, Deshaun Foster) and big name receivers (Terrell Owens, Anquan Boldin, Vincent Jackson, and Chad Ocho Cinco), Evan's roster was no slouch.
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