Super Bowl VII

What is this? A tie in the Super Bowl? 105 - 105?!?

Well, something about having Greg in the Super Bowl tends to make for very exciting games. In 2004, Super Bowl IV, Buffy and the Green Team faced off with Greg narrowly losing a championship by only two points (99-97). His loss made Buffy the only two time champion.

Green Team's roster back then was Brett Favre, Thomas Jones, Reuben Droughns, Eddie Kennison, Hines Ward, and Antonio Gates. While Droughns and Ward are still on the roster, neither were standouts this year. Then again, the now re-named Gang Green has never relied on superstars and instead has always patched together fearsome teams from the waiver wire and through savvy drafting. Quick, name one player that you'd associate with the Greenies. None right? Have they ever had a top five talent on the roster? Hard to say right?

But in the last four seasons, Gang Green has won three divisional titles and advanced to the Super Bowl twice (including this year). It can be said that Greg's team has been the best team from the Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses. Nobody has gotten more out of "no-name" talent than Greg, and we say that in the most respectful way possible. This year, they made two draft day trades -- one for Jerricho Cotchery and another for Randy Moss. The two wide receivers combined for 44 points in Super Bowl VII.

In fact, the top four players for Gang Green this season were all wide receivers. Moss, Cotchery, Bernard Berrian, and Hines Ward were all more consistent than the running backs (Brandon Jacobs, Ronnie Brown, Cedric Benson, Reuben Droughns) and the quarterbacks (Philip Rivers and Eli Manning). Even without researching, I'm sure there's no way that has ever happened before. Going into the big game, Gang Green was severe underdogs but stepped up to the plate to create the greatest game ever in Catch the Damn Ball playoff history. But more on that later. Let's look at where the Dirty Birds have come from.

Since capturing their Super Bowl title in 2002 (Super Bowl II), the Birds have been a wreck. The trade for Ricky Williams the following year -- in exchange for Michael Vick, Marvin Harrison, and Ahman Green -- devastated the team as Ricky started his sojourn into oblivion. The Bird have had three losing seasons since and while they've made the playoffs twice, they've been swiftly eliminated each time. Despite fielding a very deep team in 2002 (Vick, Harrison, Green, Corey Dillon, Plaxico Burress, Jerry Rice, Chad Johnson, Koren Robinson) the franchise has hit upon hard times.

However, this year, everything clicked as a stable of outstanding WRs emerged. Braylon Edwards, Wes Welker, Larry Fitzgerald, Plaxico Burress, and Greg Jennings enabled the Bird to go run-and-shoot every week -- dubbed the "Red Gun" in homage to the Andre Rison / Michael Haynes offense of the 1990s -- even as the running game (Steven Jackson, Rudi Johnson, Adrian Peterson) struggled with injuries. More importantly, Ben Roethlisberger and Matt Hasselbeck provided stability at the quarterback position.

For the last three years, the Birds have had great teams on paper, but have always been hobbled by a bad locker room culture and a hole at quarterback. This year, they ripped off seven wins in a row en route to a 10-3 record and a second place finish in the Inscrutable Drama Kings Division. Even trading away the best QB and WR in the land during the draft didn't stop them from turning in a stellar all-around season.

So what the hell happened this weekend? How did this tie occur? Well, on Thursday night, Big Ben and Steven Jackson started things off swimmingly for the Birds by scoring 32 and 17 points respectively. Meanwhile, Hines Ward only caught six passes for 8 points. Even early Sunday, it looked like the Birds would cruise as Braylon Edwards was on his way to another 20+ point day.

However, by the afternoon games, the tide was shifting. Gang Green's two New York stalwarts started going big. Both Brandon Jacobs (26) and Jerricho Cotchery (25) turned in season high performances. Gang Green's Randy Moss caught two quick TDs in the first half -- but ended up with "only" 19 points. Adrian Peterson, Jon's rookie of the year, turned in a Sunday night stinker and the Birds were left only fifteen points ahead with Philip Rivers to play on Monday night.

Rivers has been mercurial this season, as capable of 30 point explosions as he is of 5 point duds. Still, scoring 16 points didn't seem entirely out of reason. As the Chargers kept on racking up the points against the Broncos and Rivers inched toward 15 points, the Birds were destined for a loss. Then, around the third quarter, Chargers coach Norv Turner pulled Rivers; after he'd accrued exactly 15 points. Similar to the conference championship game versus the defending champion Monkeys (when LDT was pulled after just one explosive first half), the Birds were blessed.

What now? The game was over and both teams had scored 105 points. Fans were confused, the cheerleaders didn't have any "We Tied!" cheers, and ownership wasn't sure what to do. A quick meeting was convened between G-o-d, Allah, John Madden, and Bill Simmons and it was decided that in the spirit of the greatest game ever, and the friendship that exists between the two combatants, the Super Bowl VII trophy would be awarded to both the Dirty Birds and Gang Green. It was a King Solomon-like decision and the peasants rejoiced.

So, here are your 2007 Catch the Damn Ball co-champions, Greg and Jon!

Frenemies

Take a look at this snapshot from Week 11, the first time ever in the history of CTDB that good friends Jon and Greg haev both been in first place. Well, a few weeks later, it's happened again. The DIRTeByRDeeZ and Gang Green are champions of their respective conferences and set for a Super Bowl matchup. Both survived and threw down minor upsets, despite an ugly round of games throughout.

Greg, away on his honeymoon, rode the strong legs of fellow New Yorker Brandon Jacobs (17 pts) on the way to a comeback victory Sunday night. The matchup versus the Fobsters provided few pyrotechnics as Tom Brady and Randy Moss were sleeted out and put up only 5 and 9 points respectively. Still, Jimmy's team had good performances by RB Earnest Graham (19) and WRs Chad Johnson (10) and Jason Witten (15). With such a low scoring matchup, that was almost enough as the Fobsters ended Sunday with 63 points. However, Greg countered with Philip Rivers (13 pts) and Hines Ward (11 pts) and while they didn't have spectacular games, it was enough to make up the difference over the Fobsters, preserving their number one seed and a spot in the big game.

The Dirty Birds might have won by almost twenty points on paper (102 - 84) but the game was much closer than that in reality. At the end of the morning's games, they had only scored 90 points total, with Evan's big three of Peyton Manning, LaDainian Tomlinson, and Terrell Owens still to play. Well, Oakland "shut down" Peyton to the tune of 17 points, Owens alligator-armed his way to 4 points, and LDT was pulled after putting up two touchdowns and 24 points in the first half. The Monkey's kicker Martin Crosby had 16 outstanding points but that was negated by the stiff Patriots Defense of the Dirty Birds, who had 18 points.

For Jon, it was Steven Jackson leading the way with 24 points and QB Matt Hasselbeck contributing 18. The big difference in the game though, was the quality of the receivers. Braylon Edwards, Larry Fitzgerald, Greg Jennings and Wes Welker scored 45 points combined. Evan's Owens, Brandon Marshall, Roddy White, and Antonio Gates combined for 19 points. In fact, White and Gates didn't score at all thsi week.

So what will happen next week? Well, considering the Dirty Birds have scored 90+ in every weeek this season while Gang Green has only eclipsed that plateau six times (with sub 80 point games three weeks running), this should be a cakewalk for the tremendously talented Birds. However, anything can happen and with all the great mojo generated by Greg this year, might a super upset be in order?

In a post-game press conference, Jon was quoted as saying, "Now that we're both here, it doesn't really matter who wins to me. Sure, I deserve (another) ring but I think it might be nice for Greg to finally win something, especially so close to the holidays and right after he got married. Shit. Who am I kidding? I hope I blow him out Patriots style! Go Dirty Birds! Do this for Vick!"

Playoffs: Conference Finals

Chunky Monkeys vs Dirty Birds
There's a lot on the line here, that's obvious. It's two former champs facing off for the chance to secure a second championship. For the Birds, it's been four long years since their Super Bowl win. For the Monkeys, it's just two more victories until they repeat -- something nobody has ever done. Despite a roster simply brimming with talent, the Birds could have easily lost their first playoff game if heavy underdog Buffy had played Marion Barber (33), Kevin Jones (22), or Willie Parker (16) over the combo of Jamal Lewis (25) and Travis Henry (8). GM Yang would like to take it as a bullet he dodged but the truth of the matter is, the Birds deserved this victory, they needed this victory, and they got the victory.

Looking ahead to a huge conference championship, it'll be the three headed monster of Peyton Manning, LaDainian Tomlinson, and Terrell Owens. Even with a first round bye, Evan made his presence known by throwing up 141 points. With the Big Three chipping in 60-70 points a week, it'll take just one more player to step up and give the Monkeys some support. The question is will it be Antonio Gates (great draft day trade), Brandon Marshall (great draft pick), or Roddy White? The one sure thing is that we won't be seeing Monkeys' stalwarts Larry Johnson and Anquan Boldin on the field. Both are injured and in Larry Johnson's case, that's a great thing.

The Dirty Birds are truly taking to the skies this year as they boast a five headed receiving corps of Larry Fitzgerald, Braylon Edwards, Plaxico Burress, Wes Welker, and Greg Jennings. All five are in the top dozen WRs in the league. The biggest question is who to start? Braylon and Wes are no brainers. Larry has been consistent but also injured. Greg Jennings has been a revelation paired up with Brett Favre. Will Plaxico's inconsistency make him the odd man out? This is all assuming of course, that the Birds go run-and-shoot, but they could still pick between Steven Jackson, Adrian Peterson, and Rudi Johnson as their RBs. Did somebody say lineup headache?

The Monkeys have a cake walk of a schedule for all of their major stars and here's hoping Peyton sits out the second half. The Birds have a great chance of knocking off the reigning champs but they'll have to predict the future like Nostradamus in order to do it. We'll call it an even matchup with a coin flip deciding the winner. My heart says (a bit biased) Birds so we'll go with them for a minor upset.

Fobsters vs Gang Green
Do you realize that the first three owners in this year's supplemental draft was Jimmy, Jon, and Greg? And now all three are in the conference finals. Along with Evan, these are the only three teams that had winning records this year too, as the other two playoff participants (Buffy and Fat Jubas) sported losing records. The Fobsters, having a Cinderalla season, wasted no time punishing the Fat Jubas. Sporting the never before seen Three Tight End Attack, Jimmy's team had Jason Witten go for 24 points and Tony Gonzalez pop off for 16. Kellen Winslow was slow with 5 points but he usually does better.

More importantly, Tampa Bay's RB Earnest Graham has 20-16-14-22-25 points in his last five starts, indicating that he's a top five running back over that span. Earnest who? While the loss of Reggie Bush (out for the season) will certainly hurt, he looked better in the lineup than on the scorecard anyway. Behind Graham's 25 and Tom Brady's 45 points, the Fobsters dropped 136 points on the heads of the Fat Jubas. Eric's team could only muster up 94 points behind late season find Ryan Grant (22) and wasn't ever in serious contention anyway.

Who's the Fobsters' opponents this week? How about Greg, just married and out on his honeymoon this week. While he's already the happiest man alive, perhaps a fantasy championship would bring an extra bounce to this step this Christmas season. It'll be tough going though as his team is severly depleted and lacking a running game. Rueben Droughns and Warrick Dunn are Tier 3 running backs at best. Even with the indomitable Randy Moss, flanked by Hines Ward and Bernard Berrian, this team has trouble putting points on the board. It may be time to go run-and-shoot by adding Jerricho Cotchery to the mix. Another area of concern is at QB, as Philip Rivers and Eli Manning are both very average fantasy-wise (and maybe worse real football wise). Who can Greg call upon to drag his team to a championship? Randy Moss can't do it alone; can he?

We're predicting a huge blowout by the Fobsters, not because we want to wish ill will toward Greg but looking at the matchups on paper, who would you rather have as your best player? Tom Brady or Randy Moss? Exactly.

This game should be dubbed the "Thank You Jon for Giving Us These Patriots" game.

Playoffs: Round 1

Shanghai, China

Fobsters (8-5) vs Fat Jubas (6-7)
Who would’ve thunk this. If it weren’t for an unbelievably easy season for Gang Green, Fobsters would’ve likely cruised to a first round bye in what is going to be their first playoff appearance as a franchise (including the former Skool franchise). This is the same Fobster franchise that has NEVER had a winning season. Fast forward to 2007 - the Fobster rolled out to a 8-3 start. Excluding a 2 game slide at the end of the regular season, the Fobsters had a terrific regular season. The franchise was the 3rd highest scoring team this seasons -leading to its best season as a franchise so far.

The Jubas on the other hand, stumbled into their third straight playoff appearance. Remember this is the defending Superbowl Runner Up from 2006. The team averaged less than 85 points per week and enters the playoffs with a sub .500 regular season record.

QB – No contest here. Fobster’s Tom Brady is the MVP this year. The guy is the man. He will be facing Jubas newly minted Derek Anderson. Sure Anderson has a good matchup this week against the Jets. The dude even has legit facial hair in his Sportsline image. But this ain’t even fair son. Make Brady play with his left hand! EDGE: FOBSTERS

RB – Its unknowns versus the even more unknowns. Outside of Reggie Bush, the other scheduled starters are Earnest Graham, Ryan Grant and Kolby Smith. Entering the 2007 draft, my guess is that 0 GMs in this league knew any of the three or even had any of them on their draft boards. Smith is a sleeper. He has looked legit in his recent games. Even Ryan Grant has been very solid. This could be a very underrated backfield for the Jubas. While Fobsters have the name, dig a little deeper and you’ll find that Mr. Bush actually has been quite ordinary. The man hasn’t had any signature long runs and really hasn’t produced like a top pick. EDGE: EVEN.

WR – This is where it gets interesting. The Fobsters have typically trotted out 2-3 tight ends as their featured receivers each week. This week will feature Winslow and Witten to go with CJ. Its worked as Winslow and Witten have been redunkulous this year. Outside of the re-emerging Colston, we like what the Fobsters have – especially against a weaker TE in Cooley and a slot pull in Dwayne Bowe. EDGE: FOBSTERS

Prediction – Jubas will play big this week. They have to. But it won’t be enough. Fobsters by 2 touchdowns.

Dirty Birds (10-3) vs Buffy (6-7)
The Dirty Birds gave up Moss and Brady and are still the second best team in the league (probably the best team at this point). This is a team that currently has Adrian Peterson, Plaxico Burress and Rudi Johnson on its bench. AP will likely start this one but we are talking about probably the most talented and deepest roster in the league this year. We haven’t even talked about the starters – SJAX, Fitz, Braylon, Jennings and Mighty Mouse Wes Welker. Sheesh.

Buffy is no slouch either. Forced to go away from his signature run n’ fun offense, Buffy has had an up and down season as well. Like Jubas, the benefited from a highly bifurcated division and enters the playoffs with a sub .500 regular season record. A 2 game win streak at the game locked up this slot for the Buffy team.

QB – Carson Palmer versus Ben Roth. This is a great great matchup. Carson is playing a terrible STL pass defense while Ben is playing NE. EDGE: BUFFY

RB – We’ll likely see the return of Rook Wonder, Adrian Peterson this week. With AP and SJax in the backfield, this is the best run game in CTDB in 2007. No question. Jamal Lewis and Fast Willie are fine – but they ain’t Peterson and SJax. EDGE: DIRTY BIRDS

WR – The Birds feature a receiver core that includes Braylon Edwards, Wes Welker, Greg Jennings, Larry Fitzgerald and Plax Burress. The Birds already have the best running game in the league – they also have the best passing game in the league. Torry Holt is still great but combined with D. Mason and Joey Galloway – the combined age of this receiving staff is near 100. This could get ugly really fast. EDGE: DIRTY BIRDS

Prediction – Neither game should be that close. There is a fairly big gap in terms of talent level here. Birds by 17 points.