Ocho-Oucho

All that stands between the Fobsters and immortality is...the Dirty Birds. The Fobsters can complete an un-winning season by losing this week to the Birds -- who, at 3-8-1, is 29.2% better than the Fobsters in the win column. Having already set a record for far and away the worst losing streak ever (12 games and counting), the Fobsters are still talking tough and hoping to pull out a victory here. It's going to be an uphill battle both ways however.

How bad have the Fobsters been? Consider that they average 74.5 points per game, almost a dozen points below their next closest competitor. The league leading Chunky Monkeys average 135 points per game. See the difference? Granted, the Fobsters have faced far and away the toughest schedule in the league (opponents average 113 points), but there must be some blame placed at their feet. Not even one win? How is that possible?!

Blame the so called "stars" of the team. Chad Johnson may average almost 15 points a game this season but to be quite honest, before his 45 and 41 point explosions in WK 10 and 11, he was hardly the stuff that legends were made of. But we'll give Cinco Cinco a pass as he's still this team's vocal and on-field leader. What about leading RB Tiki Barber? He's been steady, but not every explosive (only 1 TD this year) and he's leaving after the season to pursue a career in...well, who knows? The other RB spot has been tossed around by NO teammates Deuce McAllister and Reggie Bush. Bush has been a bust, straight up, but his tantalizing talent has made Jimmy start him a few times over the far more productive Deuce. Whoops. I guess next year could be more of the same. Decisions, decisions.

And let's talk about terrible decisions by Jimmy. QB Matt Hasselbeck has been in the starting lineup for the past few weeks. Isn't Seneca Wallace the Seahawks QB? Why, yes he is! Bigger whoops! In fact, the best player on this team, Philip Rivers, was just acquired a few weeks ago off the waiver wire and hasn't started a game for the Fobsters -- despite Hasselbeck being hurt. The rest of this team hasn't fared well either.

Todd Heap has been pretty steady, but better off as a third receiver, not as your second. Keyshawn has disappeared, especially now that the Steve Smith experience has returned to Carolina. At least young WR Chris Heny has logged a few explosive games, but his inconsistency has kept him firmly planted on Jimmy's bench for most of the season. And last and definitely worst, Cadillac Williams has proved that even a young Caddy can lose a few wheels. 3 TDs on the year, 697 yards, 3.8 yards per carry. The Caddy needs a new nickname -- the Hyundai perhaps?

Such a talented group of players have gelled this year to produce a historic record. The Fobsters have eclipsed the century mark only twice, in a WK 6 loss to the Phreaks (121-101) and another loss to Buffy in WK 10 (149-109).

The closest they ever came to victory this season? Week 11, where they "only" lost by 15 to the Fat Jubas. The worst beatdown they took? Green Team annihilating them by 93 points in WK 4 (145-52), in what was surely a sign of things to come. Records are being made here gentlemen, and not of the good kind.

So can they do it? Can they finish the season totally defeated? Who will they go with? Matt Hasselbeck (returned from injury) or Philip Rivers? Can Chad Johnson put up another 40+ points in a losing effort? Do the Fobsters even have a future in this league? We will see come Sunday: Battle of the Worst!

Game of the Week

As we enter the heart of the second half of the 2006 CTDB season, the nooses on the playoff races across the league are definitely tightening as teams vie for a slot in this years playoffs. While the Monkeys have all but wrapped up a first week bye in the IDK division, things are no where near as clear in the SMG division. For the first half of the season, Ping's Philadelphia Phreaks had a stranglehold on first place. However, a ridiculous 7 game win streak by the Jubas (including an important divisional win over the Phreaks last week) finally put the Jubas in the driver's seat. This weeks schedule features a Monday Night Primetime matchup between the Green Team and Philadelphia Phreaks that could have huge playoff ramifications. Both teams are looking to snap a two game losing streak and more importantly, both are looking to secure their slot in this year's playoffs.

QUARTERBACK: As much as ESPN loves anyone named Manning, there is no contest here. Donovan McNabb, despite a terrible Week 8 performance and this week's bye, remains the best fantasy player this year. Donnie, as he is known throughout the Phreaks organization, is tied for the league lead for all quarterbacks with 19 combined touchdowns. With more passing yards than Peyton Manning and 33 times more rushing yards, there is no doubt McNabb is a frontrunner for this year's MVP award. The Phreaks have thrived off of McNabb's success and he is clearly carrying the team. On the flipside, Green Team's Eli Manning has averaged a solid 20 points per week this year. But has scored only 3 more points than Jon Kitna who is currently unemployed in our league. ADVANTAGE: PHREAKS

RUNNINGBACK: The key here is depth. The Phreaks have it while Green Team does not. GT is led by the very serviceable Ronnie Brown but relies on Jamal "Big House" Lewis as his running partner. Lewis has been bothered by injury all year and has been a disappointment (Mr. Lewis is currently being outscored by Reggie Bush who I thought was an even bigger bust at the time of me writing this article). For the Phreaks, its all about depth. GM Shen has four running backs on his roster currently rated as a top 20 back or higher. The group is led by the surprising Kevin Jones (who is outscoring the likes of FWP and Tiki Bear), Clinton Portis, Julius Jones and Maurice-Jones-David-Edward-Jonathan-Drew-Evan. The question for Shen has always been which running back to start - while Kevin Jones has entrenched himself as a every-week start, CP and Julius Jones have been rotated in and out of the lineup this year. We'd like to see CP if healthy. ADVANTAGE: PHREAKS

RECEIVERS: If you asked me last week who I liked here, it was likely I would've said GT here. Despite the explosive lineup of Roy Williams, TJ Whosyourmama, and Donte Stallworth, Green Team had an equally solid lineup in super sleeper Bernard Berrian, solid-Joe Hines Ward and mutant TE/WR Antonio Gates. However, Green Team representatives announced earlier today that Berrian is likely to be out 2-4 weeks following a rib injury. With Santana Moss injured, Green Team will likely look to Jerricho Cotchery - who is just as likely to go for 20 yards on 4 catches as he is 100 yards and 2 touches. Things are looking better for the Phreaks. Roy Williams has evolved into super stud while TJ has become a legitimate end zone target this season. McNabb's favorite target, Donte Stallworth, has been hurt but is expected to be back at full speed this week. We expect plenty of fireworks here. ADVANTAGE: PHREAKS

DEFENSE / KICKER: I hate rating these positions as they are a total waste of fantasy brain cells. Robbie Gould is the probably the biggest surprise if not for some dude called Colston this year but Wilkins isn't so shabby either. Eagles have a huge matchup against the Skins this week while the Falcons face off against a somewhat resurgent Browns team. I'm not sure what to say otherwise. ADVANTAGE: TIE

PREDICTION: Phreaks (121) over the Green Team (114)

Expert Analysis: According to Yahoo! fantasy expert, Brandon Funston - "This is a huge matchup and will go a long way in determining which team wants this year's playoffs more. I expect the Phreaks to come out firing here as this will be the first week in a long time where the starters will play together. The Phreaks have quietly had the second best offensive season this year and are definitely a team to watch. If the Phreaks come to play as they expect to do, Green Team may simply be overmatched."