Jammers Shake Things Up

Even after an impressive 3-0 start, the expansion team Tiiite End Jammers refused to sit tight and be satisfied with past successes. In fact, it has been a busy week of wheeling and dealing for GM Lei Pan. GM Pan first held a press conference on Tuesday to announce a trade with Chunkey Monkeys. The Jammers moved WR Johnnie Morton, WR Keenan McCardell in return for RB Terrell Davis and a player to be named later. As part of the deal, the teams also swapped their kickers, with the Jammers receiving K Martin "Automatica" Gramatica and the Monkeys picking up K Mike "I Jacked It" Vanderjagt. After the trade was announced, Morton remarked, "Sure, I was disappointed to leave a great organization like the Jammers, but I'm a professional and I'll do my job for whichever organization has my services." Morton also quickly added, "I would love to play for the Jammers again at any time; it's a club that's so dedicated to winning, and that's what I'm all about -- winning."

GM Pan commented on the trade, "I have nothing but the utmost respect for Johnnie [Morton] and Keenan [McCardell]; they added value to our club during games, on the practice field, and in the community. But, sometimes you have to make a move to improve the club's prospects for the future without hurting our chances to win in the present. We have the most depth at WR and that made the move right for us. When paired with Ricky [Williams], Terrell [Davis] will give us a strong and dynamic duo in the backfield for years to come." When asked about the swapping of the kickers, GM Pan remarked, “How can you go wrong with a kicker whose nickname is ‘Automatica’?”

In keeping with the theme of no player is untouchable, GM Pan immediately announced on Wednesday that the team has waived "Automatica" to pick up K Jose Cortez off of waivers. As part of its waiver moves, the Jammers also added WR Orande Gadsden, RB Priest Holmes, and QB Doug Flutie. Gadsden will move immediately into the starting lineup, while Holmes and Flutie will bolster the bench. The Jammers also announced that RB Olandis Gary and QB Mark Brunell are regrettably no longer with the club. RB Gary was dumbfounded when told of the news. "What really irks me is that I never even got into any games! I had zero chance to perform on the field before I was released!" Gary exclaimed.

When told of Gary's comments, GM Pan calmly explained, "Olandis [Gary] is ultra-talented. No one is questioning that. However, what makes Priest [Holmes] so valuable to the club is his work ethic. He is the consummate veteran professional. Gary, on the other hand, thought that his talent could carry him through and did not work hard in practice even after sitting out last season with an injury. Instead, he sought to win a starting job through jabbering his mouth all day. We [the Jammers] are committed to winning games, and we will not tolerate such a clubhouse cancer."

When told of GM Pan's explanation, Gary had no comments to add and remembered a pressing appointment he had forgotten about. GM Pan's aggressive managing and brutal honesty might offend some players and observers, but no one can question that GM Pan is committed to winning. When you think of things in the light of his commitment to winning, no one can fault him for his actions and comments.

With new faces on the team, the Jammers face the rest of the season with a continued confidence of past successes and a new optimism with its newly acquired talent. Whether it's on or off the field or in the community, GM Pan and his Jammers are winners all the way.