2018 Keepers

Ranked in light keeper core strength order. Very light.

1) Tiiite End Jammers
Lei’s team may have not won the title last year but it still sports the best keepers around. The returning foursome of Le’Veon Bell, Antonio Brown, Julio Jones, and Demaryius Thomas are unimpeachable, and the addition of Golden Tate makes this passing attack even more dangerous. A new running back will need to be found though, as longtime Jammer DeMarco Murray retired. The 2014 champs look ready to contend again.

2) Dirty Birds
Why mess with a good thing? 2017’s champs return four to the core: Todd Gurley, LeSean McCoy, Odell Beckham, and TY Hilton. Mega-trade bust Dez Bryant will be pushed aside in favor of last year’s promising rookie runner, Dalvin Cook. There’s injury concerns here but if the defending champs can bring back ODB and Cook, that would be like the Celtics adding a healthy Kyrie and Gordon to their soon to be title team. Back-to-back?!?

3) Athena Nike
After inheriting Aaron Rodgers, Frank has cut him in a push year, which signals Rodger’s first time off Ante Up / Athena Nike’s keeper core since 2010. His replacement is worthy though, last year’s #1 overall pick, Leonard Fournette. With Ezekiel Elliot back for a full season that’s quite a one-two punch in the backfield. Add in DeAndre Hopkins, Michael Thomas, and Amari Cooper, and it’s easy to see why Rodgers had to make room for the non-QB players on this team.

4) Fobsters
Jimmy’s team had 5-4-3 wins in the previous three seasons, and then went 8-5 last year. I guess all those pre-draft moves from last season worked! Kareem Hunt was a monster early and late, Joe Mixon struggled but flashed enough promise, and Corey Davis was still the top drafted wide last year, before injuries ruined his rookie season. The 2017 draft brought in a ton of talent to replace Carlos Hyde, Sammy Watkins, and Kevin White — the latter two recipients from the mega-trade, so maybe not a huge upgrade? The good news is that Melvin Gordon has proven his top tier status, and the immortal Tom Brady is returning to lead this team again.

5) Battle Angels
Last year's rookie sensation Alvin Kamara joins the core, along with Robby Anderson, the hope of New York and receiver replacement for Kelvin Benjamin. Longtime franchise cornerstone Drew Brees was tossed overboard, so there could be a new hero at the helm to throw to Travis Kelce and Jarvis Landry. Can Jay Ajayi truly become a top tier running back? Our defending Spunky Misunderstood Genius conference champs will try and find out!

6) Gang Green
A complete turnover of keepers from just two years ago, Greg always has a churning core. This year there’s Davante Adams and Jimmy Graham for the passing game and possibly increased work for runner Derrick Henry.  Kenyan Drake blew up after Jay Ajayi was shipped from Miami and if he can stay on a nice workload, he could be a top ten option -- better than Lamar Miller at least. Add in sophomore multi-threat Christian McCaffrey and this running game looks good. And oh yeah, see ya Michael Crabtree!

7) Fat Jubas
Let’s hope David Johnson returns to prime form for Eric, as he’ll be needed in a likely rebuilding year, with Mike Evans being the only other franchise talent on this team. Alshon Jeffery can still catch touchdowns but he is likely in soft decline, but he was kept in favor of new Raider Jordy Nelson. New additions Rex Burkhead and Tevin Coleman are time-share backs with some upside — goodbye Isaiah Crowell — but without a refreshed Johnson, this ground game could be in trouble.

8) Philadelphia Phreaks
Riding high off an Eagles championship, Ping’s already a champion this season. Maybe that explains why he kept Carson Wentz — who didn’t win the Super Bowl btw — when just two other quarterbacks were kept overall. We’re pretty sure keeping Allen Robinson or Brandin Cooks was the better option but the heart wants what it wants! Let’s hope Phreaks can get a title of their own behind the Wentz to Zach Ertz connection, along with Devonta Freeman, Keenan Allen, and the highlight stylings of Juju Smith-Schuster.

9) Buffy
Looking for a return to the post-season, Roger will get the #2 overall pick this year to join the likes of Rob Gronkowski, AJ Green, Doug Baldwin, and Larry Fitzgerald — the latter replacing Julian Edelman. A pre-draft trade brought in Jerick McKinnon but as he’s the only running back on the roster, after cutting Mark Ingram, we expect Roger to go with a rookie RB, but which one!? There's no clear consensus and if this pick hits big, it could set Buffy up for the near future.

10) Chunky Monkeys
Evan was close to trading the #1 overall pick but decided to stand pat as his ailing franchise is short on premier talent. Of last year’s keepers, only Jordan Howard and Tyreek Hill are back, but both are low-ish keepers. Alex Collins and Stephon Diggs have talent and are an upgrade over Ty Montgomery, Terrelle Pryor, and Greg Olsen though. Plus, the return of Josh Gordon to a keeper core! What a mighty gamble by a former powerhouse team. It looks like Chunky really needs this pick to pan out! Hello Saquon!

Rules Changes 2018

We had a slew of new rules changes last season -- take a look -- and we had a few more this year. Take a look at the voting if you like.

1) Prohibit the trading of keeper slots (7/2 "yes" votes - Pass)
Keeper slots cannot be traded, and you can't hold a keeper for another team, even through another year. Any attempt to circumvent these rules will be

2) Update DST scoring (9/1 "yes" votes, albeit with two wanting new proposed or comments - Pass)
We're revamping DST scoring to be both less overall and fewer negative games. For our initial thinking, we are using this Reddit guide as a baseline: "You Deserve Better D/ST Scoring (2018 Preseason Edition)"

• DSTs start at 0 (not 10)
• Defensive TDs of any kind are worth 6 points. Counts for INT and FR.
• Increase Punt/Kick return TDs to 8 points. Give a boost for return TDs because they are momentum shifters and won't receive a natural bonus from turnover points.
• Increase safeties to 4 points. Not only is it 2 points on the scoreboard, but it's also a turnover. So it's 4 points total because math.
• 2-PT Conversion Returns are worth 4 points. They put 2 points on the board for the team and prevent 2 points from the opposing team: a 4-point swing in theory. They can shift the momentum of a game just a much as a Safety, if not more so.
• Increase blocked kicks to 3 points.  Not only are they in many ways like a turnover (worth 2 points) but they're also a momentum shifter, which should hold value. "Kicks" applies to punts and field goals.
• -2 points per 100 yards allowed after 400 yards allowed.
• -2 per 10 PA after 2 PA.

FAILED
1) WR/TE designations are simply now TE (1/8 "yes" votes - Fail)
Currently we have three WR/TE slots, which means a team can start four TEs. The measure didn't pass so the weirdness of four TE lineups lives on.


Rules not voted on but mentioned/discussed:
• Extending keeper slots from five to more
• Expansion and/or reset
• Eliminated DEF or K positions altogether
• Two starting QBs
• Re-think playoff seeding
• Re-shuffle divisions
• Re-name divisions

Draft Order: 2018

1. Chunky Monkeys (4-9)
2. Fat Jubas (4-9)
3. Buffy (5-8)
4. Tiiite End Jammers (6-7)
5 Gang Green (6-7)
6. Philadelphia Phreaks (7-6)
7. Fobsters (8-5)
8 Athena Nike (8-5)
9. Battle Angels (9-4) *Runner Up
10. Dirty Birds (8-5) *Champion

Toilet Bowl Win: Chunky Monkeys
TB Loss: Buffy

Tie-Breakers
1) #1 and #2 picks: Monkeys (4-9) and Jubas (4-9). Monkeys was 0-1 vs the Jubas so Monkeys win and secure the first pick of each round.
2) #7 and #8 picks. Athena (8-5) and Fobsters (8-5). Birds and Angels are the last two picks since they were in the Superbowl. Fobsters was 0-1 vs Athena so they secure the higher 7th pick, Athena is 8th pick.
3) #4 and #5 picks. Jammers was 0-1 vs Gang Green so secured the higher pick #4 pick

Super Bowl XVII

Dirty Birds def Battle Angels, 136.3 - 104.3
The Dirty Birds have been here before, a whopping four times now: champs of Catch the Damn Ball! While we haven’t had any back-to-back winners yet, this was two of three for Birds, and represents the closest two titles we’ve had in CTDB history. After finishing 5-8 last season, Birds came right back to become the second highest PF team this year (while facing the softest opposing scheduled) and earned a first round bye after starting off the season 7-1. Despite a tepid 1-4 finish to the year, once the playoffs hit, all it took was two epic games from Todd Gurley and Dirty Birds were headed for another parade.

What a quick rebuild! The only player left over from that 2015 championship team was Gurley, as old stalwart Adrian Peterson was cut from the keeper roster prior to this year. And despite losing basically every trade he made before the draft — 2017 #1 Leonard Fournette for Dalvin Cook, Travis Kelce for TY Hilton, acquiring Des Bryant and Jimmy Graham, etc — and suffering season ending injuries to Odell Beckham Jr. and Cook, Jon’s team still steamrolled through the year. What a game, fantasy football!

It wasn’t all Gurley’s work this season though, as LeSean McCoy once again proved his star status, and Dak Prescott and Philip Rivers alternately time in the starting quarterback slot. With no receiving game to speak off -- Hilton led the team with Delanie Walker placing as the #6 TE -- the Birds turned to new rules that allowed three RBs and continually ran Gurley, McCoy, and Jerick McKinnon out there.

With Beckham and Cook returning next year, could Birds go for a repeat and really cement themselves as the greatest ever in CTDB history? With a league leading four titles, they have temporarily taken the lead, but we all know that the mythical G.O.A.T. title tends to change every few years. Note: This marks the fourth season in a row that Jon has won something, from the Toilet Bowl in 2014 and 2016 to titles in 2015 and 2017. What a run!

As for our runner-up, Battle Angel was looking to grab their second title (their last one was in 2008) and looked like they were in great position to do it. Likely ROY Alvin Kamara was the pickup of the season and Angel was coming off a 142.8 week in the conference finals. Alas, Kamara was stifled in the Super Bowl and while Vu made the right choice of Cam Newton over Drew Brees, the rest of his vaunted receiver core didn’t quite come to play, especially Jarvis Landry. The good news is that after leading the league in wins this year, Battle Angel is firmly back in proper contention after going 16-10 in the last two seasons, after participating in the pre-draft blockbuster of 2016.

Super Bowl Preview 2017

#1 Battle Angel (9-4) vs #1 Dirty Birds (8-5)
Both number one seeds in the two conferences took care of business last week, pounding their opponents into submission by scoring over 140+ points each. It’s unlikely Todd Gurley and Cam Newton will go over 40+ each again, but who knows! These were the two highest powered offensive teams in the league -- despite some pre-season doubts putting Angels at #10 in the power rankings -- this year so a shootout on championship Sunday could be coming.

Dirty Birds rushed out of the gates 5-0 before tumbling back to Earth a bit but they’ve been rock solid in recent weeks, and used their first round bye to rest up. A team ravaged by injuries — Odell Beckham Jr, Andrew Luck, rookie Alvin Cook, and many lesser lights — has still been good enough to get to the final game in a weird weird NFL season. The two headed monster of Gurley and LeSean McCoy has been outstanding and while T.Y. Hilton (acquired from Battle Angels pre-draft) has been disappointing, Dez Bryant (another pre-draft acquisition) has been just enough to help the team out.

After that, there’s been a series of pretty weak WRs on the roster, thus the last minute free agent grab of Keelan Cole, who has been red hot on fire the past three weeks. Could Cole be the x-factor here? As for the flex position, Jerick McKinnon will get the chance to shine as there isn’t really a whole lot of options left behind him. At tight end, Hunter Henry is now on IR but Delanie Walker has been better all season anyway. He’ll serve as the safety valve for Philip Rivers, who gets the start over Dak Prescott, who has been boom or bust this season.

As for Battle Angels, they faced a big quarterback decision of their own as they’ve got Newton and Drew Brees on the roster and have split starts between the two of them. Newton has scored 198.1 points for Angels this season, while Brees has scored 190.6. Maybe Vu can play both, one per half? Either way, they’ll have the best TE in the league to toss the rock to in Travis Kelce, who came over pre-draft from Dirty Birds. (Great trade eh?!) Jarvis Landry has been a flat out star this season — acquired pre-draft last year — and he’ll be joined by Jamison Crowder and Mike Wallace, who have been inconsistent but useful. There’s a chance Kelvin Benjamin, Robby Anderson, or old favorite Randall Cobb could show up in the starting lineup, but for now it’s Landry plus Crowder and Wallace. Either way, it’s clear that Angels have a big edge in the receiving department.

The question is what will the running game look like? Is Vu really going with Kerwynn Williams and Theo Riddick as his RB2 and FLEX positions? Could be! It really may not matter here though as likely ROY Alvin Kamara (undrafted by the way, fantasy football is stupid…) has been incredible save one week in WK14 when he left a game due to concussion. Aside from that, Kamara has been just as good as Gurley and could explode for huge fantasy points at any time.

There's a lot on the line for both teams. Dirty Birds could become the first four-time title winner in CTDB history (and second in three years) while Angels haven't added a championship to their trophy room since 2008. Overall, Battle Angels haven’t scored less than 123.9 points since WK7 so they’re likely going to be tough to upset. We predict an easy Angels win, unless something wonky happens.

Note: Let's not forget the pre-draft controversy that exploded and resulted in Dirty Birds having to compensate Angels an extra RD2 pick in 2018. That would be sure adding salt in the wound if they lost, right?!?