The New Number One!

We haven't had a three way trade since 2010's mega doozy, and we haven't had a trade for the #1 overall pick in a draft since, maybe forever? Well, GM Frank of Athena Nike had been talking about Ezekiel Elliot since the beginning of the summer -- and technically tried to draft him last year -- and we were pretty sure he was just Danny Ainge-ing us, with no actual trade in sight. Well, lo and behold, with the clock ticking, Frank pulled off a stunner that may have shifted the CTDB landscape!

Let's take a look at how this deal shakes out for each team, and try to divine where they stand heading into the 2016 draft.

Trade ID#12: 

• Athena Nike receive Buffy 2016 RD1 and 2016 RD3, and Battle Angel 2017 RD2
• Buffy receives Rob Gronkowski, Thomas Rawls, Athena Nike 2016 RD1 and RD2, and Battle Angel 2016 RD1
• Battle Angels receive Kelvin Benjamin, Jarvis Landry, Athena Nike 2016 RD4, Buffy 2016 RD5

Battle Angels: For giving up the #3 overall in this year's draft, along with next year's RD2, last season's 2-11 (worst place) team receives Kelvin Benjamin and Jarvis Landry to bolster their keeper core. Both should be an improvement on alternate keeper selections Golden Tate or Josh Reed. Heading into Drew Brees' last few years, Battle Angel needs to bolster their passing attack quickly to return to playoff contention. Angels also add additional RD4 and RD5 picks in this year's draft, but those feel like more of a toss in to complete draft selections.

Buffy: What a haul for the #1 overall pick! Roger wasn't thinking about dealing away a surefire top running back in Elliot but the offer on the table was just too big to refuse. It was easy for the fan base to go from "Oh man, we're losing Ezekiel!?!" to "Let Gronk Gronk!" By trading down, Buffy picks up the #3 and #7 selections overall, plus an extra RD2 (#17 overall) -- albeit giving up a RD3 in the process. In addition, Buffy bolsters their keeper core by receiving Rob Gronkowski and Thomas Rawls, Marshawn Lynch's heir apparent in Seattle. Getting Gronk alone could make up the difference between #1 and #3 overall, as Gronkowski was a top ten WR/TE last season. After last year's 6-6-1 campaign and a Toilet Bowl win, Roger is fully restocked and ready to head back to the real Bowl this season.

Athena Nike: What does it take to get the rookie running back of your dreams? A hell of a lot apparently! Three picks and four keeper-worthy players later, Frank emerges with 2016's #1 overall pick, Ezekiel Elliot. Was it worth it? Well, we won't be able to tell until Elliot hits the field, but from what all the pundits say, Elliot is the perfect rookie in the perfect situation. We need to step back and look at the bigger picture here, as Frank had an excess of young receivers that he couldn't keep. With roster locks DeAndre Hopkins and Amari Cooper joining Aaron Rodgers, there was only room for two of Rob Gronkowski, Jarvis Landry, Kelvin Benjamin, DeVante Parker, and Kevin White. Well, we know what happened next as Gronk, Landry, and Benjamin were dealt, with Parker and White's potential joining Nike's new lineup.

Time will tell who "wins" this trade, but we're pretty certain CTDB already won just for having another mega-three way deal go down. Thanks for the fireworks gentleman, and good luck in the upcoming season!

2016 Draft Order

1. Battle Angel (2-11)
2. Fobsters (4-9)
3. Tiiite End Jammers (4-8-1)
4. LA Buffy (6-6-1)
5. Philadelphia Phreaks (8-5)
6. Gang Green (9-4)
7. Athena Nike (9-4)
8. Chunky Monkeys (10-3)
9. Fat Jubas (5-8) *Runner Up
10. Dirty Birds (7-6) *Champion

Toilet Bowl Win: LA Buffy
TB Loss: Fobsters

Tie-Breakers
1) Gang Green vs Athena Nike (9-4): H2H, Athena Nike defeated Gang Green 1-0, WK5

Super Bowl XV

As we mentioned last week, we had two #3 seeds facing for the 2015 championship. Fat Jubas entered the playoffs on the strength of a 5-8 record and then promptly dispatched two higher seeds behind two stellar weeks, barely breaking a yawn in the process. Dirty Birds snuck into the playoffs with a respectable a 7-6 record and then used big weeks to dispatch their division’s top two seeds, with only a scare from defending champ Chunky Monkeys.

For our Super Bowl XV showdown, it was last year's Toilet Bowl matchup all over again, but this time for bigger stakes! Both Jubas and Birds had a lot on the line. Namely, one of them was going to join the list of three-time champions -- along with Chunky Monkeys and Buffy -- but who was it going to be? Well, after a huge 43.9 point effort from Kirk Cousins on Saturday night, in his first start this season no less, the Birds held on for a victory. Jubas had a shot, with Emmanuel Sanders putting some pressure on MNF, but that effort ultimately fell short. So there we are, DIRTeByRDeeZ take the 2015 title, their first since 2007 -- their first ring was in 2002!

• Dirty Birds vs Fat Jubas, 115.1 - 103.7

Startlingly, there’s still a player left over from that roster eight years ago: Adrian Peterson. After almost getting traded this offseason, AP bounced back from a season of suspension and turmoil to become the #2 ranked running back. And it was his 18.4 point performance in the waning stages of Super Bowl XV that gave Dirty Birds the necessary buffer to win out. Dirty Bird started the season 1-5 before embarking on a six game win streak to get into the playoffs, and basically going 9-1 from WK7 and on, all the way toward a title.

Despite this, they were hardly one of the top teams for most of the season. They averaged 105.4 PF, good for only fourth in the Inscrutable Drama Kings division — and only edging out fifth place by +7.3 total PF. They did take out powerhouse Chunky Monkeys twice this season, but also lost both matchups against defending champs Tiiite End Jammers, who finished the year 4-8-1. This was not at all a wire-to-wire dominant season, like those Jammers had in 2014.

And let’s not forget that Andrew Luck, top keeper and last year’s #1 QB, was shelved by WK7 and replaced by Eli Manning. Manning did acquit himself quite well, ending the season as #8 on the quarterback charts, but he was benched in the big game for Kirk Cousins, who basically caught fire for the fantasy playoffs and probably could have been inserted into the lineup sooner. The offseason saw GM Jon trade away Rob Gronkowski and cut Larry Fitzgerald, who only turned in top ten WR/TE seasons. Whoops.

Odell Beckham Jr. was spectacular again in his sophomore season but his untimely suspension really hurt the Birds during the title game, forcing Tyler Lockett and Ted Ginn Jr. into the lineup. That duo put up a measly 6.2 points combined. But at least Sammy Watkins put in a good year, coming in with a huge second half of the season to soften the blow of keeping him over Gronk. And Tyler Eifert was a key contributor this year, although he was unavailable for most of the playoff run.

LeSean McCoy was supposed to start next to Adrian Peterson but he found himself in a semi-timeshare with Karlos Williams and while McCoy had a respectable season overall, he gave way to likely Rookie of the Year, Todd Gurley, for most of the season. As for Gurley, after starting off his career with legendary numbers, he slowed down a little before picking it up just in time for the playoffs, putting up 27.2 - 14.9 - 15.7 points in successive weeks.

In retrospect you could say that the Birds lucked into a Super Bowl win, or maybe they made all the right moves in shifting pieces around to adjust for roster instability and disappointment. At the end of the day, a team that has always been quite good on paper finally broke through and took their third championship. Greatest franchise ever? Nah, but not too bad!

As for Fat Jubas, their thrilling run into the Super Bowl marked the second straight year a 5-8 team from Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses made the championship game. Eric declared that his 5-8 team was the better squad heading into Super Bowl XV and with 128.7 - 100.1 - 127.8 points scored in the past three weeks, he had a strong argument. However, despite great games from rookies Jameis Winston and David Johnson, 25.8 and 20.2 pts respectively, Jubas fell just short.

The roster moving forward for Jubas is very interesting, as Eric will have lots of keeper decisions to make in the backfield. The mid-season trade for Marshawn Lynch didn’t work out as Allen Robinson emerged as a huge game changer right as Lynch headed to IR. And CJ Anderson and Jeremy Hill both regressed, with one or both likely on the keeper chopping block. And then there's 2014’s #2 overall pick, Melvin Gordon... Is a guy who had only three double digit games all season worth keeping? The shiny silver lining among the running back corps is David Johnson, who exploded over the past three weeks and should be keeper worthy.

Jubas was led by receivers in points scored all season, and those top three — Mike Evans, Emmanuel Sanders, Alshon Jeffery — should return as an area of strength. Two runner-up seasons for Fat Jubas in consecutive years, what will happen next? A Toilet Bowl win? Another Super Bowl title? Maybe both?!

Road to the Super Bowl XV

How did we get here? Let’s do a quick recap since we missed all the action from rounds one and two. With Chunky Monkeys and Gang Green taking a well deserved break from the action, Athena Nike and Dirty Birds faced off for the right to face off against #1 seed Evan. Frank and Jon had been on friendly terms all season, discussing trades and pickups, but all that niceness was put on hold as Eli Manning and Odell Beckham teamed up to throw up 30+ points each and blow out Nike, who only had Aaron Rodgers and Panthers defense show up to the battle.

During the next round, Dirty Birds faced a much tougher challenge versus the slumping Chunky Monkeys. By the end of Sunday night, it looked like Jon would be down for the count after leaving Kirk Cousins and Ted Ginn Jr. on the bench, but somehow Eli and Odell had a brief (and controversy filled) comeback and then when Calvin Johnson and Tim Hightower could only muster a combined 12.4 pts on MNF, that sealed Evan’s collapse.

For Fat Jubas, the path was much easier as they found themselves peaking at just the right time and dispatched the higher ranked Philadelphia Phreaks and then Gang Green in easy fashion. David Johnson exploded for 42.9 pts in the conference finals and Johnson’s one of the only sure things in a lineup that GM Eric has been juggling in recent weeks to get the best production. If he can strike for magic once again Jubas could pull off a tremendous Super Bowl win as a losing team, and on a four game winning streak to boot.

Both the Birds and Jubas are looking for their third titles, with Jubas’ two coming in 2005 and 2012 and the Birds’ coming in 2002 and 2007. On paper, Jon’s team has the bigger names, and are 8-1 heading into the Super Bowl, but they’ve also been very mercurial, with a defense that has scored zero and negative two points in recent weeks. Plus, Odell Beckham is facing a one game suspension at the worst possible time, so Jubas is going to be in prime position to have his WR heavy team — Mike Evans, Alshon Jeffery, Emmanuel Sanders, and Allen Robinson are the top four scorers — bomb their way to an upset victory. Which coach will pilot their team to history? Let’s find out!

ROUND ONE

• Dirty Birds (7-6) def Athena Nike (9-4), 128.6 - 84.4
• Fat Jubas (5-8) def Philadelphia Phreaks (8-5), 100.1 - 76.1
• Byes: Chunky Monkeys, Gang Green

CONFERENCE FINALS

• Dirty Birds (7-6) def Chunky Monkeys (10-3), 101.4 - 94.8
• Fat Jubas (5-8) def Gang Green (9-4), 127.8 - 95.4

Toilet Bowl VI

#1 LA Buffy (6-6-1) def #3 Fobsters (4-9), 110.9 - 89.3
The first time Buffy was in the Toilet Bowl was 2013 (up to then their only showing), they suffered a five point loss to Fobsters in the first round. This time, the two teams met in the Toilet Bowl finals, with Buffy coming off a 0.500 season and poised to win the whole right to 2016’s #1 draft pick.

With Cam Newton benched for the first round of the Toilet Bowl, coach Roger got a stellar 50.0 point performance from Carson Palmer and AJ Green combined, giving them a tight win versus Battle Angel, who threatened an upset behind Drew Brees and TY Hilton.

On the other side of the bracket, Fobsters handled Tiiite End Jammers with ease, ending Lei’s difficult championship defense -- although technically it wasn't a "defense" anymore. Fobsters rode Doug Baldin to the win, and it shouldn’t be overlooked that over the past month, Baldwin has averaged an astounding 23.3 ppg, and has scored ten TDs in the process. That set up a potentially great Toilet Bowl Finals against Buffy, as both teams were pumped for big performances.

However, despite Baldwin’s 18.5 pts, Delanie Walker’s 19.4 pts (!), and Tom Brady’s 25.4 pts, Fobsters didn’t put up much of a fight against Buffy. Roger’s team had Palmer, Matt Forte, Greg Olsen, and James Jones all score in the high teens and then Stephen Gostkowski’s 15 pts helped seal the deal in the easy win. And let’s not overlook that Roger had Cam Newton with 55 pts sitting on the bench. When has a potential NFL MVP been sat for the stretch fantasy run before? Right now, that’s when!

Who will Roger take in next year’s draft? Will it be Ezekiel Elliot? Could it be someone else? Despite an injury plagued season that saw injuries to most of Buffy major’s assets, they fought through and turned their season around with a Toilet Bowl victory, their first. Congratulations!

Toilet Bowl Semis

• #1 LA Buffy (6-6-1) def #4 Battle Angel, 102.4 - 100.2
• #3 Fobsters (4-9) def #2 Tiiite End Jammers (4-8-1), 91.5 - 59.4