Super Bowl XV

As we mentioned last week, we had two #3 seeds facing for the 2015 championship. Fat Jubas entered the playoffs on the strength of a 5-8 record and then promptly dispatched two higher seeds behind two stellar weeks, barely breaking a yawn in the process. Dirty Birds snuck into the playoffs with a respectable a 7-6 record and then used big weeks to dispatch their division’s top two seeds, with only a scare from defending champ Chunky Monkeys.

For our Super Bowl XV showdown, it was last year's Toilet Bowl matchup all over again, but this time for bigger stakes! Both Jubas and Birds had a lot on the line. Namely, one of them was going to join the list of three-time champions -- along with Chunky Monkeys and Buffy -- but who was it going to be? Well, after a huge 43.9 point effort from Kirk Cousins on Saturday night, in his first start this season no less, the Birds held on for a victory. Jubas had a shot, with Emmanuel Sanders putting some pressure on MNF, but that effort ultimately fell short. So there we are, DIRTeByRDeeZ take the 2015 title, their first since 2007 -- their first ring was in 2002!

• Dirty Birds vs Fat Jubas, 115.1 - 103.7

Startlingly, there’s still a player left over from that roster eight years ago: Adrian Peterson. After almost getting traded this offseason, AP bounced back from a season of suspension and turmoil to become the #2 ranked running back. And it was his 18.4 point performance in the waning stages of Super Bowl XV that gave Dirty Birds the necessary buffer to win out. Dirty Bird started the season 1-5 before embarking on a six game win streak to get into the playoffs, and basically going 9-1 from WK7 and on, all the way toward a title.

Despite this, they were hardly one of the top teams for most of the season. They averaged 105.4 PF, good for only fourth in the Inscrutable Drama Kings division — and only edging out fifth place by +7.3 total PF. They did take out powerhouse Chunky Monkeys twice this season, but also lost both matchups against defending champs Tiiite End Jammers, who finished the year 4-8-1. This was not at all a wire-to-wire dominant season, like those Jammers had in 2014.

And let’s not forget that Andrew Luck, top keeper and last year’s #1 QB, was shelved by WK7 and replaced by Eli Manning. Manning did acquit himself quite well, ending the season as #8 on the quarterback charts, but he was benched in the big game for Kirk Cousins, who basically caught fire for the fantasy playoffs and probably could have been inserted into the lineup sooner. The offseason saw GM Jon trade away Rob Gronkowski and cut Larry Fitzgerald, who only turned in top ten WR/TE seasons. Whoops.

Odell Beckham Jr. was spectacular again in his sophomore season but his untimely suspension really hurt the Birds during the title game, forcing Tyler Lockett and Ted Ginn Jr. into the lineup. That duo put up a measly 6.2 points combined. But at least Sammy Watkins put in a good year, coming in with a huge second half of the season to soften the blow of keeping him over Gronk. And Tyler Eifert was a key contributor this year, although he was unavailable for most of the playoff run.

LeSean McCoy was supposed to start next to Adrian Peterson but he found himself in a semi-timeshare with Karlos Williams and while McCoy had a respectable season overall, he gave way to likely Rookie of the Year, Todd Gurley, for most of the season. As for Gurley, after starting off his career with legendary numbers, he slowed down a little before picking it up just in time for the playoffs, putting up 27.2 - 14.9 - 15.7 points in successive weeks.

In retrospect you could say that the Birds lucked into a Super Bowl win, or maybe they made all the right moves in shifting pieces around to adjust for roster instability and disappointment. At the end of the day, a team that has always been quite good on paper finally broke through and took their third championship. Greatest franchise ever? Nah, but not too bad!

As for Fat Jubas, their thrilling run into the Super Bowl marked the second straight year a 5-8 team from Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses made the championship game. Eric declared that his 5-8 team was the better squad heading into Super Bowl XV and with 128.7 - 100.1 - 127.8 points scored in the past three weeks, he had a strong argument. However, despite great games from rookies Jameis Winston and David Johnson, 25.8 and 20.2 pts respectively, Jubas fell just short.

The roster moving forward for Jubas is very interesting, as Eric will have lots of keeper decisions to make in the backfield. The mid-season trade for Marshawn Lynch didn’t work out as Allen Robinson emerged as a huge game changer right as Lynch headed to IR. And CJ Anderson and Jeremy Hill both regressed, with one or both likely on the keeper chopping block. And then there's 2014’s #2 overall pick, Melvin Gordon... Is a guy who had only three double digit games all season worth keeping? The shiny silver lining among the running back corps is David Johnson, who exploded over the past three weeks and should be keeper worthy.

Jubas was led by receivers in points scored all season, and those top three — Mike Evans, Emmanuel Sanders, Alshon Jeffery — should return as an area of strength. Two runner-up seasons for Fat Jubas in consecutive years, what will happen next? A Toilet Bowl win? Another Super Bowl title? Maybe both?!

Road to the Super Bowl XV

How did we get here? Let’s do a quick recap since we missed all the action from rounds one and two. With Chunky Monkeys and Gang Green taking a well deserved break from the action, Athena Nike and Dirty Birds faced off for the right to face off against #1 seed Evan. Frank and Jon had been on friendly terms all season, discussing trades and pickups, but all that niceness was put on hold as Eli Manning and Odell Beckham teamed up to throw up 30+ points each and blow out Nike, who only had Aaron Rodgers and Panthers defense show up to the battle.

During the next round, Dirty Birds faced a much tougher challenge versus the slumping Chunky Monkeys. By the end of Sunday night, it looked like Jon would be down for the count after leaving Kirk Cousins and Ted Ginn Jr. on the bench, but somehow Eli and Odell had a brief (and controversy filled) comeback and then when Calvin Johnson and Tim Hightower could only muster a combined 12.4 pts on MNF, that sealed Evan’s collapse.

For Fat Jubas, the path was much easier as they found themselves peaking at just the right time and dispatched the higher ranked Philadelphia Phreaks and then Gang Green in easy fashion. David Johnson exploded for 42.9 pts in the conference finals and Johnson’s one of the only sure things in a lineup that GM Eric has been juggling in recent weeks to get the best production. If he can strike for magic once again Jubas could pull off a tremendous Super Bowl win as a losing team, and on a four game winning streak to boot.

Both the Birds and Jubas are looking for their third titles, with Jubas’ two coming in 2005 and 2012 and the Birds’ coming in 2002 and 2007. On paper, Jon’s team has the bigger names, and are 8-1 heading into the Super Bowl, but they’ve also been very mercurial, with a defense that has scored zero and negative two points in recent weeks. Plus, Odell Beckham is facing a one game suspension at the worst possible time, so Jubas is going to be in prime position to have his WR heavy team — Mike Evans, Alshon Jeffery, Emmanuel Sanders, and Allen Robinson are the top four scorers — bomb their way to an upset victory. Which coach will pilot their team to history? Let’s find out!

ROUND ONE

• Dirty Birds (7-6) def Athena Nike (9-4), 128.6 - 84.4
• Fat Jubas (5-8) def Philadelphia Phreaks (8-5), 100.1 - 76.1
• Byes: Chunky Monkeys, Gang Green

CONFERENCE FINALS

• Dirty Birds (7-6) def Chunky Monkeys (10-3), 101.4 - 94.8
• Fat Jubas (5-8) def Gang Green (9-4), 127.8 - 95.4

Toilet Bowl VI

#1 LA Buffy (6-6-1) def #3 Fobsters (4-9), 110.9 - 89.3
The first time Buffy was in the Toilet Bowl was 2013 (up to then their only showing), they suffered a five point loss to Fobsters in the first round. This time, the two teams met in the Toilet Bowl finals, with Buffy coming off a 0.500 season and poised to win the whole right to 2016’s #1 draft pick.

With Cam Newton benched for the first round of the Toilet Bowl, coach Roger got a stellar 50.0 point performance from Carson Palmer and AJ Green combined, giving them a tight win versus Battle Angel, who threatened an upset behind Drew Brees and TY Hilton.

On the other side of the bracket, Fobsters handled Tiiite End Jammers with ease, ending Lei’s difficult championship defense -- although technically it wasn't a "defense" anymore. Fobsters rode Doug Baldin to the win, and it shouldn’t be overlooked that over the past month, Baldwin has averaged an astounding 23.3 ppg, and has scored ten TDs in the process. That set up a potentially great Toilet Bowl Finals against Buffy, as both teams were pumped for big performances.

However, despite Baldwin’s 18.5 pts, Delanie Walker’s 19.4 pts (!), and Tom Brady’s 25.4 pts, Fobsters didn’t put up much of a fight against Buffy. Roger’s team had Palmer, Matt Forte, Greg Olsen, and James Jones all score in the high teens and then Stephen Gostkowski’s 15 pts helped seal the deal in the easy win. And let’s not overlook that Roger had Cam Newton with 55 pts sitting on the bench. When has a potential NFL MVP been sat for the stretch fantasy run before? Right now, that’s when!

Who will Roger take in next year’s draft? Will it be Ezekiel Elliot? Could it be someone else? Despite an injury plagued season that saw injuries to most of Buffy major’s assets, they fought through and turned their season around with a Toilet Bowl victory, their first. Congratulations!

Toilet Bowl Semis

• #1 LA Buffy (6-6-1) def #4 Battle Angel, 102.4 - 100.2
• #3 Fobsters (4-9) def #2 Tiiite End Jammers (4-8-1), 91.5 - 59.4

Playoff Matchups

PLAYOFFS
Athena Nike (9-4) vs Dirty Birds (7-6)
During a so-called “rebuilding year,” Frank’s team went 8-1 down the stretch and almost stole an Inscrutable Drama Kings title from Monkeys. Instead, they’ll have to be happy being the hottest team in the division heading into the playoffs, and then try to knock off Evan in the division title game. A long playoff run could be hard with Rob Gronkowski out and basically the entire team dinged up but the path is clear for Nike!

After a 1-5 start to the season, it looked like Dirty Birds were headed straight to the Toilet Bowl, especially with Andrew Luck having a totally lost season. However, six straight wins later and Jon was headed to the playoffs, despite losing their last matchup. With the Eli Manning and Odell Beckham combo leading the way, Birds hope to pull off an improbable first round upset.

Philadelphia Phreaks (8-5) vs Fat Jubas (5-8)
Phreaks won the Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses division last year with a 7-6 record, but will have to battle in the first round despite one more win. After starting off the season 3-4, Ping righted the ship and cranked out five wins in six tries to lock up a playoff spot. With new superstar Allen Robinson on the rise, can they pick up their first post-season win since 2006?

The annual “this team doesn’t really deserve to be in the playoffs do they?” team, Fat Jubas. Two straight wins qualifies Jubas as “hot” however, in this division, and Eric’s team will be looking to make noise, as history has shown us that a team with a losing record can still advance far in the post-season. With Marshawn Lynch lost for the season, David Johnson, Jeremy Hill, and Darren McFadden will have to step up together.

BYES
Chunky Monkeys (10-3), Gang Green (9-4)
Evan’s team started off the season on a seven win streak before being upended by the defending champs, Tiiite End Jammers, in WK9. Including that loss, Monkeys have been only 2-3 and have lost to both Athena Nike and Dirty Birds in recent weeks. Still, there may be nothing to fear here as this team is the highest PF in the league at 116.9 ppg and only had one week below the century mark. That’s consistency!

Similarly, Gang Green started off 6-1 before going only 3-3 the rest of the way. With injured players left and right — Jimmy Graham and Mark Ingram are both out of the season -- Greg must be happy for this much needed bye. That’lll give Blake Bortles an extra week to show us that he could possibly be a (fantasy) championship quarterback!

TOILET BOWL
#1 LA Buffy (6-6-1) vs #4 Battle Angel (2-11)
It’s tough to get into a winning rhythm when you're facing the toughest PA in the league. Buffy was respectable the whole year but despite two wins to close out the season, they missed the playoffs by one game. Buffy has had to deal with losing Arian Foster and Julian Edelman for the year, also Matt Forte missed some extended game time. But with Carson Palmer and AJ Green blowing up, they are the favorites to win the Toilet Bowl.

I guess when you start 2-4 with a four game losing streak and then finish off the season with seven straight losses you’re the worst team in the league. With a last place PF that averaged 86.9 ppg, Vu’s squad didn’t even need a tough schedule to bury them. Martavis Bryant has been brilliant since his return from injury but we’re thinking this might be Drew Brees last year leading Battle Angel...

#2 Tiiite End Jammers (4-8-1) vs #3 Fobsters (4-9)
Our defending champs had a limp title defense, starting off with just one win in their first eight matchups. But at least they gave Monkeys their first loss of the season. Strangely, Jammers had a good 3-4-1 division record but went 1-4 against the other (weaker) side, which does not load well for their cross division matchup versus Fobsters. Oh yeah, last year this was our Super Bowl XIIII matchup, can you believe that?

Jimmy’s team crapped the bed with one win in their last eight tries, and basically rode Tom Brady the whole season while the rest of the roster fluctuated due to a startling amount of injuries. At least some nice finds happened, with Chris Ivory, Travis Benjamin, TJ Yeldon, and TE sensation Gary Barnidge contributing around Brady. Can they pull off a Toilet Bowl upset or two like their “magical” run to the Super Bowl last year? We’ll see!

Final Standings 2015

Full Standings Breakdown