Super Bowl 0

Not counted as part of our keeper history since this was Season Zero, so to speak.

Chunky Monkeys (119) vs Ante Up (110)-

In a stunning game that echoed last year’s NFL Super Bowl, Ante Up came up short in the championship game versus the Chunky Monkeys after making a furious Monday Night comeback behind Torry Holt’s 26 pts and Kurt Warner’s 18 pts. In a nail biter of a game, both teams showcased offensive fireworks as they fought for the finish. The Monkeys were led by playoff and Super Bowl MVP Donovan McNabb who scored 31 pts to lead all players. All the success can’t be laid on McNabb’s shoulders however, as second half hero Lamar Smith (15 pts), Muhsin Muhammed (14 pts), Ed McCaffrey (12 pts) and explosive Randy Moss (21 pts) all worked together to achieve victory. Robert Smith had no impact in this game (4 pts) but it didn’t matter with the Titans D punishing a horrible Cleveland team in the snow for 18 points.

Ante Up was down a gigantic 66 points heading into Monday Night but with three of his best players yet to take the field, the trophy was surely in reach. First off, Kurt Warner connected with Torry Holt from every angle to the tune of 316 yards. The problem was that for the two superstars to succeed meant that the Buc D had to fail. And fail it did, recording single digits for the first time in five weeks. The Buccaneers stole three INTs but those came at the expense of Warner. The only way for Ante Up to avoid self impalement was for the Bucs to get big sacks and to score TDs, neither of which happened. Fred Taylor and Jerome Bettis (20, 13 pts) were able to keep this game close but Jimmy Smith and Keenan McCardell caught only 1 TD between them and that could have been the difference.

A last minute drive left Ante Up nine points short but the more amazing story was how great a game this was. Ante Up may not of had won the Super Bowl this year but it had the most astonishing playoff run in league history, with two wins by a total of 15 points and putting a big scare into the Chunky Monkeys.

In the end, it was an oxymoron that felled mighty Ante Up as the Rams played the Bucs. And just as Derrick Mason and the Titans may never forget that one yard (after the Music City Miracle one week prior), Ante Up may never forget 9 points (after the miraculous 1 point victory over favored Green Team) which separated the champion and the runner up. Could a dynasty be in the works for the Monkeys? Riding seven straight wins and eight Century games to end the season? Time will tell. But for now let them bask in the glow of non-alchoholic champagne and the ever famous phrase uttered at times like this... ”I gotta go study for finals.”

Super Bowl Matchup

In a stunning story, a possible NFL MVP candidate was snubbed by the fans, coaches and players. Donovan McNabb, offensive leader and quarterback of the NFC East leading Eagles was not voted onto the Pro Bowl, much to the chagrin of the whole Eastern United States. In a direct quote taken from Al Gore’s mouth, “I feel for Mr McNabb, I know what it’s like to deserve to win and then be…excuse my French…screwed over…by the system. I will be sending Mr McNabb a fruit basket and a signed 8x11 glossy of myself as a consolation prize.” McNabb refused to comment except to say this to the media, “It’s not a big deal. I don’t want to distract myself at this point. I’m a winner. I don’t care about awards. Let some other pretty boy quarterbacks get the acclaim. I don’t need to be a Pro Bowler or a MVP or a Cinderella story. I just want to win. I got nothing left to say. Oh, except for this...I’m GUARANTEEING a great game for me. I don’t want to be pompous but I would say roughly 23-35, 390 yards, 4 TDs and no INTs. Oh, and 12 yards rushing. That’s 31 points if anyone’s counting.”

Asked if his comments were directed specifically at Kurt Warner, last year’s consensus MVP, Pro Bowler and Cinderella story, Mr McNabb would only say, “Let’s just see what happens on Sunday. I’m a player. I just play games. Games. I play them. I like to play games.” And so with this drama as a prelude, let us look at our last and final match up. SUPER BOWL.

SUPER BOWL- Ante Up (7-6) vs Chunky Monkeys (8-5) QB- The gauntlet has been thrown down by Donovan McNabb who is coming off a clutch performance. Nothing can be said here except that Donovan already played a great game. Warner is a great QB and possibly the best fantasy player but even he might be hard pressed to throw up 4 TDs against a tough Tampa Bay defense. Normally, this would be an even matchup but seeing as Donovan already played, and played great, the advantage of Kurt Warner may be negated. EDGE: Chunky Monkeys

RB- Once again, the hottest RB in the game will face a weak defense. While Fred Taylor is a little banged up, a game of this magnitude requires every player to suit up and play, especially a superstart like Taylor. Facing the inept Bengals is further incentive to come out and ignore the pain. The question at the other running back spot for Ante Up might be decided at game time. Jerome Bettis had a horrible game last week and faces another tough defense again (Washington) but he might get the call. If not, recent acquisition Ahman Green might get the start. Green has been stellar in past weeks and is coming off his best game of the season (24 pts). He will probably get into the game in place of the Bus.

For the Monkeys, the duo of Smith and Smith will have to do. Robert had been steady as rain (no, we don’t know what that means either) for 6 weeks but then came up with only 7 points last week. That could be cause for concern but why change horses at midstream? The other Smith, Lamar, is coming off a decent day (13 pts) versus the Buccaneers defense. With his legs as Miami’s only offense and facing a less than stellar Indy D, he should have a field day. This is a great matchup but it’s hard to see Fred Taylor having less than a 30 point game. If Ahman Green fails, then the Monkeys have a huge edge but the Smith brothers can also be shut down unexpectedly sometimes. EDGE: Ante Up

WR- As the Jags go, so does Ante Up and that won’t change this week. Luckily, the Jags are facing the Bengals so that spells big points for the whole team. Last week Jimmy Smith and Keenan McCardell teamed up for 32 points and they should be able to collectively get 30+ once again. The big question here will be Torry Holt, who had another great outing last week. He is Ante Up’s premier receiver and will get should get no less than a dozen points this week. However, the Buc defense could wreak havoc on the Rams offense so Holt could either burn them or be burned out. For the Monkeys, Randy Moss, Ed McCaffrey and Muhsin Muhammed will try to match up the Ante Up’s prolific trio.

The Monkeys receivers are just as talented as Ante Up’s and are coming off of a great week. It’s been too long since Moss has exploded and this week could end the drought, with the matchup over the short Green Bay cornerbacks. The difference maker here could be Muhsin Muhammed, who has had a great past few weeks (25, 14, 15) and Ed McCaffrey (19 pts) continuing their excellence. Look for a great day from all six receivers in a very even matchup. EDGE: none

K/D- In what would normally be a huge edge for Ante Up and their Buc Defense, I would have to say that this week the tables could reverse as Chunky Monkey has the Titan D versus the Brown offense. But underestimating the Buc defense has been the doom of many teams this year so we won’t go so far as to give the edge to the Titans. Instead, we’ll look at the irony of Ante Up’s stiff Buc D facing Kurt Warner, Torry Holt and Jeff Wilkins. If the Bucs have a great game, that could stifle Ante Up’s plans but it is also possible for the Buc D to get some sacks and INTs (and possibly another TD) without interfering with Warner and Co’s positive numbers. Ante Up will have to walk a fine line this week do avoid eviscerating themselves this week. All that can safely said about this matchup is that the Gary Anderson will be his usual steady self kicking for the Monkeys. EDGE: none

PREDICTION- A matchup of the hottest team from the first half of the season (5 straight wins to open the season for Ante) and the hottest team from the second half (8 wins and counting, plus 7 straight Century games). This is an epic war waiting to happen. Chunky obliverated Buffy last week and Ante Up has survived two straight tough games to get here. Each team has its roster concentrated on a few teams, the Rams (Warner, Holt, Wilkins), Jaguars (Taylor, Smith, McCardell) and Vikings (Smith, Moss, Anderson). Additionally, the Packers (Ahman Green) will be facing Minnesota, making this a huge game to watch. Regardless of how Sunday goes, this game will be decided on Monday Night. Anything can happen with Warner, Holt, Wilkins and Buc D all playing on Monday.

It will be a gut wrenching experience for Chunky to watch each catch or sack pull Ante Up closer and closer to victory. It would be easy to call Ante Up a dark horse to win but frankly, Ante Up has the slight advantage this week (unless TB shuts down the Rams, which would just be funny as all hell). It would only be fitting for Ante Up to fall a few points shy of victory on Monday Night, as his opposing owners in the playoffs has had to watch while their last desperate hopes for victory crumbled on national TV over the past two weeks (T Gonzalez, KC D, E James). Let’s call it Chunky Monkeys by 3.

Semi Finals: Season 0

GAME ONE- Buffy (93) at Chunky Monkeys (120)
This game looked like it would be a great battle between a team coming off an inspirational victory and the other coming off an important bye week. Truth to tell, it looks like rest is preferable to inspiration. Buffy had no juice left in the tank after their narrow escape from the Warlords last week. Check these stats: Corey Dillon (5 pts), Tim Brown (7 pts), Bill Schroeder (7 pts) and Az-Zahir Hakim a big fat zero. This game was almost over from the get go as Donovan McNabb quickly took control with 4 TD passes. His receivers benefitted from his great day as all three of them recorded 13+ points.

With that advantage, it looked like the Monkeys were headed into the Super Bowl without much difficulty. The only drama arose from the potential explosive exploits of Rich Gannon and Marshall Faulk. Marshall held up his end of the bargain with an insane 4 RUSHING TDs but Rich Gannon could not get into a groove and only posted 14 points. Without Marshall’s career night, this game wouldn’t even have been this close, if a blowout can be called close.

The Monkeys came out ready to play and dominated on both sides of the ball, indeed, the only matchup that Buffy won was with David Akers, the kicker. A disappointing finish ended Buffy’s season long ride and although they accomplished so much, they have to feel slightly disappointed with the efforts from it’s players. The big news from this game was the explosion and leadership exhibited by Donovan McNabb, which could very well carry the Monkeys over the top.

GAME TWO- Ante Up (136) at Green Team (135)
This is a game that will surely enter into the record books. A titanic struggle between two of the finest this league has had to offer this year. MVP candidates at every position and two teams that looked like they were headed for the battle of the century. Those who tuned it were not disappointed.

First on Sunday, the most dangerous team in the league (with the hottest RB) came in and did their thing to the tune of 71 pts (Fred Taylor 27, Jimmy Smith 24, K McCardell 10). Add to that the additional aerial attack from Kurt Warner and Torry Holt (a combined 40 points) and it looked like the Green Team might be blown out. Curtis Martin struggled and ended the day with a mere 8 points. But that was OK because the Bus stalled and pulled up a paltry 3 points. The Green Team’s receivers did their best to match the output of their opponent’s, with Derrick Alexander, Qadry Ismail and Rod Smith all recording double digit scores. The Ravens Defense had a great 22 point night but the Buccaneers also had 24 points (another TD). It looked like every punch by Ante Up resulted in a counter punch from the Green Team. Ali and Frasier. Ante Up and Green Team.

With home field advantage on its side, the Green Team could afford some mistakes (Trent Dilfer 9 pts) but heading into Monday Night, they needed 35 to win and 34 to tie. To the chagrin of Ante Up, the one player left was Co-MVP Edgerrin James. As the world watched, Edgerrin piled up TD after TD. And then late in the game, another TD. Three was the magic number. It looked like a glorious comeback for the regular season champs, the only question was how many yards Edgerrin had. 25? 50? 100? 150? Whatever it was, Edgerrin ended the night a little short with 33 points. Did we hear recount? Did we hear Ante Up in the Super Bowl by 1 point? Did we hear “The Greatest Game Ever Played?” Did we hear “Ante Up, the HOTTEST team heading into and perhaps out of the playoffs?”

So it’s set. Inaguaral Super Bowl. Ante Up vs Chunky Monkeys. Stay tuned……..