First Blockbuster of the Year

Las Vegas, NV --

Monkey's GM Evan Shiue arrived late Thursday night at the Venetian Hotel for a last minute meeting with Jammer brass, including team president, Lei Pan to wrap up what has been a week long series of negotiatios. Lasting late into the night, the two finalized the first blockbuster of the 2003 season, swapping receivers Joe Horn and David Boston. The deal also involves conditional picks. Details of the draft selections have not yet been disclosed.

Pan, along with his team of negotiators and statisticians, spoke briefly with the press. "I am extremely pleased with the deal. Joe (Horn) is a premier receiver in the league and will be a great addition to our team. With Joe on board, there will be no more excuses for this team. We have two of the top ten receivers, the two best running backs in the game, and a plethora of talented Caucasian quarterbacks. I've spoken to Priest (Holmes) and Ricky (Williams) and they are both ecstatic with this move."

Following the stunning performance of flanker, Amani Toomer, last season, the Jammers have apparently retooledtheir passing game for the coming season. ESPN analyst, John Clayton, broke down the trade. "This is a great addition for both teams. Though, on the surface, it seems that the teams are just swapping receivers, there are intangibles here that will be vital to the success of both teams. Horn's experience and leadership in the clubhouse is consistent with the atmosphere Pan has been looking to build with veterans including Kurt Warner, Priest Holmes, and Ricky Williams.

The addition of Horn gives Pan now another weapon to mix into his already-full arsenal. For the Chunky Monkeys, Boston represents a true top flight receiver who can really take over the game. Monkey runner, LaDainian Tomlinson, averaged 23 carries a game and rushed for 1,683 yards last season. Including his 79 receptions, Tomlinson touched the ball 28 times a game. Naturally, defenses are going to commit an extra safety close to the line of scrimmage to contain and hit Tomlinson. Enter Boston. Once that eighth defender approaches the line, Manning can make a quick audible and send Boston downfield for a big play. It's no wonder Manning was the first to greet Boston on Friday when he arrived in San Francisco."

Super Bowl II

The DIRTeByRDeeZ have finally captured their first fantasy championship of the modern era. After years of perseverance, hard work and ingenius roster moves, the Birds finally had a dream season and took the championship trophy home. With a dominating regular season (10 wins, 9 consecutive), the Birds were heavily favored to take the crown. Faced with a tough divisional final game versus the Jammers, the Birds pulled out a 112-97 victory, based largely on the strength of WRs Marvin Harrison and Plaxico Burress. The Jammers were hobbled by a season ending injury to Priest Holmes and a weak performance from their other superstar Ricky Williams.

As if the planets were not aligned perfectly yet, the next week the Birds faced a Flaming Shrapnel squad missing superstar Terrell Owens. Despite some curious lineup changes, the Birds cruised to a 96-75 victory in one of the uglier Super Bowls to be played. Still, in the end, the Birds started out 1-3, and finished the season out 12-3. How you like them apples?

The Birds this year put together a monster team and a monster season. QB Michael Vick emerged as the name of the future while RBs Ahman Green and Corey Dillon had solid seasons. The WR corps was too deep to sleep, with a record breaking season by Marvin Harrison and stellar numbers by Plaxico Burress and Jerry Rice. Emerging threats Koren Robinson and Chad Johnson barely cracked the starting lineup, despite supernova-like second halves.

Disgruntled Dirty Bird stars, Corey Dillon and Plaxico Burress were wondering why they were left sitting on the bench in the most important game of the year, and played "what if" on the sidelines. As in, "what if the Birds had lost because Coach Yang sat down two of his premiere players?" Luckily, we will never know the answer to that question. For now, the Birds are planning a celebratory RV trailer park cruise around Iraq and Iran as a reward for their successful season and championship status.

Setup for the Super Bowl

For nearly an hour after yesterday's SMG Divisional Championship game, Shrapnel's General Manger, Eric-L, patiently answered questions as hordes of reporters and media analysts swarmed around his podium during the post game media conference. At times, Liao just nodded and smiled ... amazingly serene for a GM that just won his divisional championship game. Regardless, his team is now one step away from completing one of the most astonishing franchise turnarounds in CTDB history.

After suffering through a horrible 2001 season with a 3-10 record, the Shrapnel team has seemingly come back from the dead and has been the hottest thing since Mike Vick. Led by supplemental first round pick, Aaron Brooks, GM Liao's high octane passing offense eventually proved too much for the Philadelphia Phreaks in the championship game. "That was a rough one," admitted Ping Shen, GM of the Philadelphia Phreaks. "[Clinton] Portis was a rockstar for us but you have to hand out props where its due. Eric has done a hell of a job. Their team has so many offensive options, it was just a bit too much. As good as the DIRTeByRDeeZ have been this year, I think this will be one hell of a matchup. I expect to see plenty of fireworks. It's gonna be a good game."

Down the 101, the Birds lived up to their billing once again, steamrolling yet another team. With a ten game win streak on the line, the Birds have momentum if anything. According to Birds' GM, Jon Yang, "We've been pretty hard to stop once we get rolling. Our guys are just playing so well, I wish we had additional starting positions because its been hard to sit guys like Chad (Johnson) and Koren (Robinson). Eric has put together a damn good team over there and this will be a great SuperBowl. Its good for our league, its good for the game, and a win would be damn good for our franchise."

CTDB Guru, Evan, analyzed the matchup in yesterday's conference call. "Sources familiar with the Shrapnel franchise indicate that their leading receiver, Owens, will likely be held out of this weeks game with a sore gluteus maximus muscle. Surgery has been discussed as a possible option. This is huge for the Birdeez as Owens has been one of the elite receivers this year. Regardless, this game will feature two of the most mobile quarterbacks in the league with Michael Vick and Aaron Brooks. We're going to see a lot of 8 man fronts and a lot of frantic linebackers. In terms of the running game, you'll see a lot of hard physical running.

My guess is that we'll see a standard 3 wide 2 back set out of the Birds this game. Green, despite the injuries, will be back in the starting lineup with Corey Dillon. These two have been relatively quiet this year but are as explosive as ever. On the other side of the field, Tiki Barber and Eddie George have been the anchor of the Shrapnel team, providing stability and putting up consistent points week in week out. With the lightning quick Tiki and the bruising Eddie George in the backfield, the Shrapnel has one of the best change of pace running games in the league. The key to this game, however, will be the passing game. With only 3 active receivers on the roster, an injured Terrell Owens will leave a huge gap in the Shrapnel passing game. Liao will be scouring the free agent wire but with the quality of the remaining talent so low, it will be very difficult for him to fill TO's shoes.

On the otherhand, the Birds are stacked in their passing attack. With Rice and Plastico playing so well, the talented duo of Chad Johnson and Koren Robinson have had a tough time finding playing time. Hitting a gold mine with the strong armed Mike Vick and the fact that the Birds have receivers coming out of their ears, I expect to see a lot deep bombs and deep crossing patterns out of this offense. But if I had to put my money on one team, the best play of the week would have to be them dirty dirty Birds. Their offense has been huge and I see no reason that that will change this week."

McNabb Fractures Ankle, Tosses 4 TDs

Today Donovan McNabb added another legendary tale to his long list of personal exploits. Tackled by two Cardinals, McNabb fractured his fibula just above the ankle joint. He came out of the game briefly, did not miss a play, then returned to lead the Phreaks to victory with 4 first half TDs.

After the game it was revealed that McNabb had actually fractured his ankle, and could miss up to 8 weeks. ESPN's Chris Berman commented that, "That game is the grittiest performance that I've seen--it's on a par with Emmitt's playing a half with a dislocated shoulder against the Giants. Can you imagine a guy playing an entire football game on essentially a broken leg, and going out and just having the second best passing game of his career? Four first-half touchdowns? Are you kidding me? Can anyone ever question this guy's heart, ever? Any other QB in the league would have packed it in right away. Donovan didn't miss a single play. That's inspirational."

Phreak GM Ping Shen, speaking after the game outside the Phreak locker room said, "I talked with Donovan; he is in good spirits. If there's any way he can play next week, he will. I think that today we all saw what kind of character that man has, and why the Phreaks organization has so much respect for him. You tell me--who else do you know that threw four touchdowns in one half on a broken leg? It's simply amazing what this guy brings to the field every Sunday. If he does miss time, other guys will just have to find a way to step up and produce. We'll know more tomorrow."

Power Rankings!

10 teams in the league, 9 are still in the hot hunt for the remaining 6 playoff spots. Amazing. With talent flowing deep through all teams, no two teams (unless you're a fan rooting for the unlucky Battle Angels) are separated by more than 2 games. Heading into Week 11, this has been one of the fiercest playoff races in CTDB history. Here's a look at who's hot and who's not.

1. DIRTeByRDeeZ - Rising from the slums of yesteryear, the Birds have become the league's powerhouse team of 2002. Running almost exclusively on the monster quads of Michael Vick, the Birds have quickly risen to the top. With a league leading 7-3 record heading into Week 11, GM Yang has watched his team win 6 in a row. Along with Vick the Sick, the Birds are powered by a talented running duo of Ahman Green and Corey Dillon. The passing attack has been jaw dropping -- led by veteran superstar Starvin' Marvin Harrison, Plaxico Burress (253 yards and 2 touches last week!?) and Jerry Rice have been simply amazing. NFL Team: Packers Superbowl Odds: 3-1

2. Chunky Monkeys - The Monkeys are solid once again. Leading the league in points scored, the Monkeys have quietly put together a 4 game win streak of their own. Despite a down year from stud back Shaun Alexander, the Monkeys have still been an offensive juggernaut this year. The lowest score the Monkeys have put up all year has been an astounding 97 points in Week 6. (Think of it this way, in 10 weeks of play, the Angels have only surpassed that figure twice) In fact, the Monkeys are the only team in the league that have never scored below 90 in any given week. With MVP candidate LaDainian Tomlinson leading the charge, the Monkeys have been pushing their opponents more than any other team. Expect much of the same in the coming weeks leading up to the playoffs. NFL Team: Chargers Odds: 4-1

3. Buffy - A team that plays with fire to say the least. Last year's defending champion has had its share of lumps this year with star receiver, David Boston, quickly becoming the league's leading candidate for Bust of the Year. In the games that Buffy scores over 100 points, the team has averaged 124 pts/game. However, in the games where the team failed to reach the century mark, Buffy has averaged only 84 pts ... pathetic. So which Buffy will show up next week? With a huge matchup against divisional leader, the DIRTeByRDeeZ, in Week 11, we believe that Buffy will be fired up. Old man Gannon along with the Marshall are still the best in the business. Look for additional confidence and fireworks in the weeks ahead. NFL Team: Raiders Odds: 8-1

4. Philadelphia Phreaks - Probably should be renamed Donovan's Phreaks but whatever. No question who the leader is on this team -- McNabb has been the best quarterback outside of Gannon, averaging a steamy 27 pts a game. The Phreak runners ain't half bad either. What started as a young, inexperienced bunch has become the anchor of this team. Clinton Portis is the second best player on this team and Jamal Lewis has been a surprise after coming off last year's devastating ACL injury. The receivers are talented but underperforming. Despite a few monster games, the receivers have been a disappointment thus far. An unreliable receiving core is what knocks the Phreaks down a notch below Buffy. However, what the Phreaks do have is momentum -- they enter Week 11 as one of the hottest teams in the league, averaging 109 pts/contest in the last 3 games (3rd best in the league behind the Monkeys and Birds). History shows that once the Phreaks franchise starts rolling, its damn near impossible to stop them. NFL Team: Team Donovan (Eagles by default) Odds: 9-1

5. Flaming Shrapnel -- Last year's CTDB Chumps of the Year candidate are revamped, retooled and currently sitting pretty at second in the mercurial SMG division. With newly drafted quarterback, Aaron Brooks, at the helm, the Shrapnel offense has been solid this year, averaging exactly 100 points/contest. Not too shabby for last year's doormat team. TO and Moulds now actually have someone who can get them the ball. Shrapnel ball carriers have been disappointing however -- E. George and A. Thomas have all been subpar at best. George has 620 yards and 4 TDs while Anthony Thomas has been worse, having yet to surpass the 600 yard mark. When the running game improves, the Shrapnel team will be a difficult team to play against. Thats a big WHEN. NFL Team: Buccaneers Odds: 10-1

6. Green Team -- This year's dark horse has gotten a lot darker. After starting out strong with a 3-1 record while averaging a whopping 115 pts per game, the Green Team has slipped considerably in recent weeks. The Green Team is currently mired in a 4 game skid where it has averaged under 90 points a game. What's going on? Favre has been great. Henry has been surprisingly good. Duce has been spectacular. Ward has been a rock. Brown has been ok. Booker has been inconsistent. Patten has been worse that Booker. Jackson is not even predicted to play. Without additional receivers to support Ward, the Green Team passing game has been grounded pretty much the last 5 weeks. Until the team finds its passing attack, its gonna be a hard road ahead. NFL Team: Panthers Odds: 15-1

7. Ante Up -- A team that features Jeff Garcia, Fred Taylor, and Edgerrin James...rewind this baby back to 1999 and you have yourself a champion team in the making. Alas, Edge is now hurt, Fred Taylor is about to get hurt, and Garcia, well, has been damn good this year despite a slow start. The receivers are inconsistent at best. Pathon, Coles, and Wayne have struggled mightily to find open pockets. When Derrick Mason is injured, Garcia has virtually no targets ... as a result, opposing defenses have been stacking the line, limiting the running lanes available to Freddy and Edge. This week's matchup against a strong Phreak team will be a good indicator of Ante Up's ability to face tough teams. With the presence of the Monkeys, Birds, Buffy, and the Jammers in the IDK division, Ante Up will need to put it all together in order to have any shot of securing one of the 3 slots in their division. NFL Team: Vikings Odds: 20-1

8. Tiiite End Jammers - Last year's expansion juggernaut team has fallen mightily this year without gun-slinger Kurt Warner in the lineup. While carrying a respectable 5-5 record into Week 11, the weaknesses of this team have been exposed and teams are taking advantage of it. The Jammers are averaging less than 99 pts a game (good for third worst in the league) and is currently on a rough 3 game slid. More telling however, is that the Jammers have not been able to break the century mark in its last 5 games, averaging a pathetic 89 pts a game during that stretch. Priest Holmes and Ricky Williams are still rock solid and remain one of the top 3 duos in the league but with opposing defenses stacking the line against the run, production from the run game has declined. This week's matchup against the rolling Monkeys will probably result in another loss. NFL Team: Bengals Odds: 20-1

9. Skool - Despite the exploding emergence of Deuce McAllister and Peerless Price, Skool has little else. Fiedler is injured, Daunte has been benched and everyone else is either hurt or just sucks. Who would've thought that Stephen Davis, Kevin Johnson, Michael Bennett and Tony Gonzalez could suck so much collectively. Injuries and benchings have devastated this team. Maybe next year. NFL Team: Lions Odds: 50-1

10. Battle Angels - What the hell happened? Last year's wonder boy, Tom Brady along with Curtis Martin and Randy Moss have been leading this team no where. Martin and Moss are right up there in the top 5 busts of the year. At least Shaun has 11 TDs in 9 games. Where was the veteran leadership that we expected? Man, what a messed up year. We know that GM Dinh is better than this and we expect a strong resurgence next year with replenished talent. NFL Team: Texans Odds: 100-1