Draft Review: Inscrutable Drama Kings

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Here we go with a look at the Inscrutable Drama Kings division. And don't forget to see the review for Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses.

Dirty Birds (5-8)
Despite winning the Toilet Bowl, GM Jon wasn’t happy to just sit on his prize, swinging four trades pre-draft to restructure his core and move down to the #4 slot in the 2017 draft. With a competitive keeper core of LeSean McCoy, Todd Gurley, Odell Beckham, and new acquisitions TY Hilton and Dez Bryant, Jon was on the hunt to fill out his QB and TE positions. Andrew Luck and Dak Prescott will timeshare as signal callers while Hunter Henry will figure out when he’ll get more looks aside Antonio Gates — there’s also a third TE on the roster, Delanie Walker. With RD1 pick Dalvin Cook likely to be slow to come around, it may have been shortsighted of Jon to only draft one other running back, Ameer Abdullah. But this team will be loaded with receivers, as ODB, Hilton, and Bryant will be joined by Jamison Crowder, Sterling Shepard, Will Fuller, Laquon Treadwell, and Tyler Lockett. Can the Birds fly high and challenge for a postseason appearance? Or will their post-2015 title slump continue? Draft: B-

Athena Nike (6-7)
With Ezekiel Elliot out for seven weeks, Athena Nike shifted gears and opted to play future forward by dealing up from #4 for the 2017 #1 overall draft pick: Leonard Fournette. That gives Frank two of the most coveted rookie running backs in back-to-back years behind Elliot and Fournette. Having sacrificed a big portion of his 2017 draft — in order to cash in big next year — Frank mostly moved for rookies with OJ Howard, ArDarius Stewart, D’Onta Foreman, speedster John Ross, and Jamaal Williams. Fobsters aren’t the only franchise to go mostly rookie this year! Even if only one of these guys hits, it’ll be a win for Frank’s draft. Old hands Danny Woodhead, Martellus Bennett, Mike Williams, and Giovani Bernard (a possible steal at RD7) will be around to prop up the starting lineup but Nike is all about upside this season. With a young core of Elliot, Amari Cooper, DeAndre Hopkins, and Michael Thomas, that seems like an excellent strategy. Will Aaron Rodgers be happy punting a year though? Or should he be moved to a contender… Grade: B

Chunky Monkeys (7-6)
We’re not entirely sure how this team made the playoffs last year behind a keeper core of Jamaal Charles, Latavius “Don’t call me Lamond” Murray, Randall “Not Reggie” Cobb, and John "Boring" Brown. The only leftover was Julio Jones, who was shipped off pre-draft to complete an entirely new keeper core. The Monkeys should be younger, if not necessarily better, because 7-6 isn’t awful. New keepers Jordan Howard, Ty Montgomery, Terrelle Pryor, and Tyreek Hill all exhibited great talent but the chances of all four working out are slim. At least TE Greg Olsen will be a mainstay here, as he’ll bring exactly average tight end numbers to the table. We are fans of Spencer Ware here as Evan’s RD1 pick, and having the combo of Marcus Mariota and Philip Rivers to pilot through the rebuild should work out just fine. Evan’s overall strategy seemed to grab youngish veterans who haven’t fully proven themselves — Stefon Diggs, Theo Riddick, Kenny Britt, Robby Anderson, DeAndre Washington — and some old vets for competitive play this season via Pierre Garcon, Kyle Rudolph, and Jacquizz Rodgers (he’s still playing?). Grade: C+, but A+ for making that awesome draft spreadsheet.

LA Buffy (8-5)
Roger probably wishes he had just kept last year’s #1 pick, Ezekiel Elliot, but is making do with the lone holdover from that trade: Rob Gronkoski. Easy Rob’s value has never been higher as the best tight end in the land, if he can stay healthy. He’ll be joined by RD1 pick Jordan Reed, who is oft-injured himself, but if he can get on the field, Buffy could play a nice double TE lineup. From there, it’s a cast of veterans and semi cast-offs. Darren McFadden, Larry Fitzgerald, LeGarrette Blount, Andrian Peterson, Jeremy Maclin, and Matt Forte have all seen better days. Even the quarterbacks here are a little outdated, with Andy Dalton and Joe Flacco being serviceable but nothing exciting. I guess the draft matches the keeper core, as Roger had Julian Edelman, Doug Ballin, newly acquired Mark Ingram, and AJ Green as his keepers. RB Mike Gillislee is the youngest player on this team, but it’s hard to argue he represents upside. On the positive side, Buffy could have just acquired a lot of undervalued veteran talent, and he could find himself right back in the postseason. Grade: C

Tiiite End Jammers (10-3)
Our 2014 Super Bowl winner and last year’s runner-up has assembled an outrageous team. The trade for Julio Jones gives this team a Jones / Antonio Brown / Demaryius Thomas receiving corps to go along with LeVeon Bell and DeMarco Murray. That’s easily the best keeper core around. Add in my personal favorite underrated WR, Golden Tate, in RD1, and this is quite the lineup. Injury prone Tyler Eifert will man the TE position for a team named after tight ends — with Julius Thomas around just in case — while basically everyone else on this roster will be backups if all goes well (Bilal Powell, CJ Anderson, Mike Wallace, Doug Martin, Donte Moncrief, Jamaal Charles). The quarterbacking duties will fall to Jameis Winston (looking for a true break out year) and old hand Ben Roethlisberger. While there was nothing exciting about this draft, Lei clearly set up additional safe depth and if things can just stay even, he’ll find himself challenging for a title yet again. Grade: B

Pre-Draft Trades: 2017

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Sure we complained about a lack of movement before, but this off-season exploded with eight big trades before keepers declaration! Sure, there was a huge confusing mix-up, one make-up trade, and general confusion all around, but we do have the largest (by volume) trade in the books for CTDB, and let's hope this leads to more trades during the season. Or dare we say it, the draft?!

There were so many trades we're just going to throw up an image and then analyze by team:


Chunky Monkeys - Trade ID#14, 16
Evan started things off by shopping Julio "Not 25 years old" Jones around and had quite a few nibbles before he decided to turn Jones and a 2018 RD5 into Jordan Howard, Tyreek Hill, and a 2018 RD4. With a weak (very weak) keeper roster, the 7-6 Monkeys made the playoffs last season but weren't really a threat. Now it's rebuild time! Of course, most rebuilds don't include trading Mark Ingram to Buffy for a Greg Olsen, a thirty-one year old tight end, but Evan has his mysterious ways. Anyway, let's see if our three time champs can win another title soon -- if Monkeys don't win this year or the next, they're facing their longest title drought since 2006.

Fat Jubas - #17, 19
Our defending champs, and also three-time title winners, are hoping to become the first repeat champs in league history. Eric moved his 2017 RD1, 2017 RD2, and 2018 RD2 to hoover up Jordy Nelson and Isaiah Crowell. Those two will team up with David Johnson and Mike Evans to power Jubas to the title game yet again, maybe.

Battle Angels - #15, 20
Vu's team lost the conference finals to eventual champs Jubas by only 0.4 points last year. Despite that devastating setback, the 2008 champs feel it's time again for another title chase. Completing the rebuild he started last year off the heels of the 2016 draft, Vu grabbed Travis Kelce as his new TE, picked up a 2017 RD2 to recoup value from last season's trade, and then got a compensatory RD2 pick as well for a commish confusion/error (see below). Win, win, win!

Athena Nike - #18
With a huge three way trade, Frank moves into the #1 overall draft pick two years in a row. Last year, Ezekiel Elliot worked out great for him, and Frank is hoping this year's top selection will do the same. Let's just say that we already know who that pick will be, as part of the trade involves Athena Nike selecting a specific player. Frank moves from 2017 1.4 to 1.1 for the cost of Jimmy Graham, Kevin White, both of his 2017 RD2 picks (2.3, 2.4), and his 2017 RD4 (4.4). Sounds like a lot doesn't it? But then next year Nike will receive a 2018 RD2 from Dirty Birds, plus 2018 RD2 and 2018 RD3 from Fobsters. With franchise star Elliot sitting six weeks on a suspension, Athena Nike is clearly already playing for next year.

Fobsters - #18, 20
Upset with his aging keeper core, Jimmy was ready to blow things up in a big way. In the end, he'll move from 2017's 1.2 slot to 1.4, receive Sammy Watkins and Kevin White for his youth movement, and then get five of the first fourteen picks in the 2017 draft -- 1.4, 1.10, 2.1, 2.3, and 2.4. That is a monster rebuild strategy, the likes that CTDB has never seen before! Of course, Jimmy had to send out Dez Bryant and Jordy Nelson -- along with 2018 RD2 and RD3 -- but if Fobsters can draft well, this trade will set him up for a glorious future.

Dirty Birds - #15, 17, 20, 21
Mostly content with his roster a week ago, Jon moved into major trade motion after losing out in the Julio Jones sweepstakes. First, he picked up TY Hilton for the price of Travis Kelce and a 2017 RD2 -- and another 2017 RD2, which will be explained later. He also got a 2017 RD3 back from Battle Angels. He also shipped out Isaiah Crowell for a RD2 -- which will be conveyed to Battle Angels due to the previously mentioned error.

And then there was the big three way trade, which ultimately moved Birds down one slot from 1.1 to 1.2, and then netted them Dez Bryant and Jimmy Graham -- later shipped out for a weak RD6 to Gang Green. Overall, Dirty Birds moved the 2017 1.1 pick, Travis Kelce, Sammy Watkins, Isaiah Crowell, two 2017 RD2's, and a 2017 RD13 to move down one slot in the draft, grab a 2017 RD3, Dez Bryant, and a 2017 RD6. Um, sounds like a win?


What was the controversy?!
Due to a combination of miscommunication and clerical error, and ESPN's stupid non-snaking settings, trade #15 between Battle Angels and Dirty Birds was reported incorrectly. The 2.6 pick from last year that was going from Battle Angels to Athena Nike was mistakenly reported as the 2.3 pick, which was subsequently traded to Fobsters in the three way. #mistake

What this meant was that the three way -- and all trades afterwards -- were faced with being overturned, and while many opinions and options were offered, ultimately it was up to the affected parties to work it out. Long story short: Fobsters demanded reparations for his move down from 2.3 to 2.6, threatening many laughable things, while Battle Angels (whose trade was legit, and would have stood) decided to be the bigger man and stay at 2.6 -- and take a 2017 RD2.10 from Jon as compensation.

While there was no admission of sole guilt by any party, especially Jon, despite him paying the iron price, we can assign a bit of fault here. So, let's go:
  • ESPN: For not having the ability to set up a non-snaking keeper draft. Thus leading to the confusion.
  • The commissioners: For not catching the mistakes until too late, and not informing the wider CTDB league about the ESPN non-snaking issue.
  • Battle Angels: Forgetting about their 2016 trade that had a 2017 RD2 already gone, and then getting confused about the numbering due to ESPN's wacky ways.
  • Dirty Birds: Not reporting the trade correctly, and not clarifying that the 2.3 should really have been a 2.6. And for creating chaos.
  • Fobsters: For demanding a 2018 RD1 and Todd Gurley from Dirty Birds as compensation for moving down three slots...
  • Athena Nike: Trying to find logic in an illogical (Trump)world. And for also demanding compensation for time wasted negotiating a three way trade that might be verified.
  • Chunky Monkeys: For giving Jammers Antonio Brown and Julio Jones duo to go along with the rest of Lei's amazing roster. RIP 2017 title hopes for anyone else!
  • Jimmy: For the poop he / his son left on my carpet. And for being a d!ck.
See you all at the draft!

Adding Roster Slots and FAAB

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We haven’t had new rules since 2010, when we cut out carryovers for bye weeks and bonus points for long touchdowns. Plus we are adding a new rule that was shot down back then, Free Agent Acquisition Budget (FAAB)! Oh wait, we also had 2011, where we added decimalization of scores and illegal lineups scoring zero points — plus an adjustment to waiver running days. Take a quick refresher of all the current rules if needed by going through the "rules" tag on the blog.

So this year we voted on three new rules, and they passed by simple majority:

1) Adding a mandatory TE position + 1 new bench spot (9/10 "yes" votes)
Welcome back the tight end to CTDB! We’ve been running WR/TE combos since the beginning but after 10+ years, we’re finally bring tight ends into the fold. NFL teams regularly have two TEs on the field now so we follow suit by requiring at least one. Note: This will come with an expansion of a new bench slot as well.

2) Adding a RB position + 1 new bench spot (7/10)
With the changing NFL roster dynamics, the days of the single running backs are (mostly) long behind us. Also, with a ten team league, requiring two RBs was seen as a necessary change. Note: This change will also come with a new bench spot.

3) Changing our Waiver system to a Free Agent Acquisition Budget (6/10)
We’ll detail out what days we run FAAB -- still figuring out that detail. The beginning FAAB budget is $100 and there can be no trading of FAAB budgets. However, an owner could trade for a player that someone else bids on for them, similar to acquiring a player using another owner's waiver wire spot. Here's some FAAB articles if you need an explainer:



So moving forward, we have new roster limits and starting lineup requirements:

New Roster Limits
  • 10 active starters, 8 reserves, 1 IR slot
  • Any player can be placed on the IR slot, but once there, they no longer allowed to be active for the rest of the season. The player in the IR slot can be released. (??)
  • Five players may be designated as keepers each year

Starting Lineup 
1 QB
2 RB
3 WR/TE
1 TE
1 RB/WR/TE  (Flex)
1 K
1 Def
  • Illegal rosters score zero points in standings
  • Lineup deadline: Five minutes before gametime for each player

Rules not voted on but discussed:
  • Making some sort of official outlawing of keeper slot manipulation
  • Moving the WR/TE designation to simply WR for some of the WR/TE slots
  • Expansion and/or reset

2017 Draft Order

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1. Fobsters (3-10)
2. Gang Green (4-9)
3. Dirty Birds (5-8)
4. Athena Nike (6-7)
5. Philadelphia Phreaks (6-7)
6. Battle Angel (7-6)
7. Chunky Monkeys (7-6)
8. LA Buffy (8-5)
9. Tiiite End Jammers (10-3) *Runner Up
10. Fat Jubas (9-4) *Champion

Toilet Bowl Win: Dirty Birds
TB Loss: Fobsters

Tie-Breakers
1) Chunky Monkeys vs Battle Angel (7-6): H2H, Chunky Monkeys defeated Battle Angels 1-0, WK7

Super Bowl XVI

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What did we say last week? "Eric will have to rely on some witchcraft for that once in a decade upset…” Well, it happened, and it looks like our fourth three-time champion will be Fat Jubas! We gave the Tiiite End Jammers the edge at nearly every position but come game time, everyone not named Andrew Luck, LeVeon Bell, and Antonio Brown came up short for Jammers. In fact, while Sunday and Monday represented hope for Lei, this matchup was almost over by Sunday as Fat Jubas jumped out to a huge lead on Saturday night.

Playoff MVP David Johnson had another 100+ combined yards game, and threw up 31.6 points. The quarterback juggling that ended up starting Jameis Winston was a great move by Eric. And that big game Jubas needed from slumping receiver Mike Evans? Got it! Having another receiver step up to help him? Hello Alshon Jeffery's 11.7 points! And with LeGarrette Blount pounding his way to 17 pts himself, Jubas were looking great early on.

The Jammers did make a game of it though. Any time you have Bell and Brown yet to play, any lead can be overcome. And the two Steelers did combine for 47.8 points to close the gap, but a dud by Demaryius Thomas and negative five points from Titans defense really hurt. In the end, the golden trio of Luck, Bell and Brown -- plus Matt Bryant’s 17 pts -- weren’t enough to complete a comeback win for Jammers.

How did Jubas get here? Well, to be honest, they’ve always been here. Like we said last week, this was their third back-to-back title showing, and they already had two rings (2005, 2012) in their trophy room. Jubas missed the playoffs just once in recent years (starting off 1-8 in 2014), and the last decade has seen them go as far as the division finals seven out of ten times, plus four straight division titles from 2010-2013 (and an additional one this year), and four Super Bowl appearances. Are they the best team from Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses division? That’s a definite “yes.” Are they one of the best franchises in CTDB history? Again, that answer must now be answered in the affirmative.

In the 2012 title game, the hero for Jubas was Cam Newton, who subsequently became a keeper for the next two seasons. And then, starting in 2015, GM Eric decided to ditch keep-ing a quarterback and opted to stream options. Meanwhile, his entire roster has changed from then, as Chris Johnson, Darren McFadden, Vincent Jackson, and Jimmy Graham gave way to the current crop of Jubas’ champs.

The biggest pickup of all was sophomore running back David Johnson -- undrafted as a rookie -- who has emerged as the greatest fantasy weapon of all. And while there’s been ups and downs for the likes of CJ Anderson, Alshon Jeffery, and Emmanuel Sanders over the last few years, each has served their time with Jubas, with Jeffery and Sanders completing their third season before finally getting a long awaited ring.

This year, Jubas started off 5-0 before suffering a 2-4 midseason swoon, but they picked it back up for a 4-1 record to clean up the division title and earned a crucial bye. Then we had the 0.4 point win over Battle Angel to get into the Super Bowl. And then, amidst all the doubters, Jubas came through and finished the job, and got their much deserved third title! Congrats to Eric on his third ring!

As for the Jammers, this Super Bowl collapse was a disappointment but a second finals showing in three years definitely signals that the franchise is back as an every season contender. After going to our first three Toilet Bowls (2010-12), the Jammers have worked themselves up over the past few seasons, culminating in one of the most dominant seasons ever, in 2014. Coming up just short this year is still a win for a team that dropped out of the playoffs last year.

Overall, all this success signals a return to glory for Jammers, and their fantastic keeper core will keep them in title contention for years to come. GM Lei has shown a deft touch on the waiver wire, and this season unearthed Jordan Howard, Tyreek Hill, and Taylor Gabriel, among others. With Luck, Bell, Brown, plus DeMarco Murray and Demaryius Thomas on-board, this is still the most talented team in CTDB and Jammers won’t likely fall prey to the championship curse they suffered last season.