Toilet Bowl VI

#1 LA Buffy (6-6-1) def #3 Fobsters (4-9), 110.9 - 89.3
The first time Buffy was in the Toilet Bowl was 2013 (up to then their only showing), they suffered a five point loss to Fobsters in the first round. This time, the two teams met in the Toilet Bowl finals, with Buffy coming off a 0.500 season and poised to win the whole right to 2016’s #1 draft pick.

With Cam Newton benched for the first round of the Toilet Bowl, coach Roger got a stellar 50.0 point performance from Carson Palmer and AJ Green combined, giving them a tight win versus Battle Angel, who threatened an upset behind Drew Brees and TY Hilton.

On the other side of the bracket, Fobsters handled Tiiite End Jammers with ease, ending Lei’s difficult championship defense -- although technically it wasn't a "defense" anymore. Fobsters rode Doug Baldin to the win, and it shouldn’t be overlooked that over the past month, Baldwin has averaged an astounding 23.3 ppg, and has scored ten TDs in the process. That set up a potentially great Toilet Bowl Finals against Buffy, as both teams were pumped for big performances.

However, despite Baldwin’s 18.5 pts, Delanie Walker’s 19.4 pts (!), and Tom Brady’s 25.4 pts, Fobsters didn’t put up much of a fight against Buffy. Roger’s team had Palmer, Matt Forte, Greg Olsen, and James Jones all score in the high teens and then Stephen Gostkowski’s 15 pts helped seal the deal in the easy win. And let’s not overlook that Roger had Cam Newton with 55 pts sitting on the bench. When has a potential NFL MVP been sat for the stretch fantasy run before? Right now, that’s when!

Who will Roger take in next year’s draft? Will it be Ezekiel Elliot? Could it be someone else? Despite an injury plagued season that saw injuries to most of Buffy major’s assets, they fought through and turned their season around with a Toilet Bowl victory, their first. Congratulations!

Toilet Bowl Semis

• #1 LA Buffy (6-6-1) def #4 Battle Angel, 102.4 - 100.2
• #3 Fobsters (4-9) def #2 Tiiite End Jammers (4-8-1), 91.5 - 59.4

Playoff Matchups

PLAYOFFS
Athena Nike (9-4) vs Dirty Birds (7-6)
During a so-called “rebuilding year,” Frank’s team went 8-1 down the stretch and almost stole an Inscrutable Drama Kings title from Monkeys. Instead, they’ll have to be happy being the hottest team in the division heading into the playoffs, and then try to knock off Evan in the division title game. A long playoff run could be hard with Rob Gronkowski out and basically the entire team dinged up but the path is clear for Nike!

After a 1-5 start to the season, it looked like Dirty Birds were headed straight to the Toilet Bowl, especially with Andrew Luck having a totally lost season. However, six straight wins later and Jon was headed to the playoffs, despite losing their last matchup. With the Eli Manning and Odell Beckham combo leading the way, Birds hope to pull off an improbable first round upset.

Philadelphia Phreaks (8-5) vs Fat Jubas (5-8)
Phreaks won the Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses division last year with a 7-6 record, but will have to battle in the first round despite one more win. After starting off the season 3-4, Ping righted the ship and cranked out five wins in six tries to lock up a playoff spot. With new superstar Allen Robinson on the rise, can they pick up their first post-season win since 2006?

The annual “this team doesn’t really deserve to be in the playoffs do they?” team, Fat Jubas. Two straight wins qualifies Jubas as “hot” however, in this division, and Eric’s team will be looking to make noise, as history has shown us that a team with a losing record can still advance far in the post-season. With Marshawn Lynch lost for the season, David Johnson, Jeremy Hill, and Darren McFadden will have to step up together.

BYES
Chunky Monkeys (10-3), Gang Green (9-4)
Evan’s team started off the season on a seven win streak before being upended by the defending champs, Tiiite End Jammers, in WK9. Including that loss, Monkeys have been only 2-3 and have lost to both Athena Nike and Dirty Birds in recent weeks. Still, there may be nothing to fear here as this team is the highest PF in the league at 116.9 ppg and only had one week below the century mark. That’s consistency!

Similarly, Gang Green started off 6-1 before going only 3-3 the rest of the way. With injured players left and right — Jimmy Graham and Mark Ingram are both out of the season -- Greg must be happy for this much needed bye. That’lll give Blake Bortles an extra week to show us that he could possibly be a (fantasy) championship quarterback!

TOILET BOWL
#1 LA Buffy (6-6-1) vs #4 Battle Angel (2-11)
It’s tough to get into a winning rhythm when you're facing the toughest PA in the league. Buffy was respectable the whole year but despite two wins to close out the season, they missed the playoffs by one game. Buffy has had to deal with losing Arian Foster and Julian Edelman for the year, also Matt Forte missed some extended game time. But with Carson Palmer and AJ Green blowing up, they are the favorites to win the Toilet Bowl.

I guess when you start 2-4 with a four game losing streak and then finish off the season with seven straight losses you’re the worst team in the league. With a last place PF that averaged 86.9 ppg, Vu’s squad didn’t even need a tough schedule to bury them. Martavis Bryant has been brilliant since his return from injury but we’re thinking this might be Drew Brees last year leading Battle Angel...

#2 Tiiite End Jammers (4-8-1) vs #3 Fobsters (4-9)
Our defending champs had a limp title defense, starting off with just one win in their first eight matchups. But at least they gave Monkeys their first loss of the season. Strangely, Jammers had a good 3-4-1 division record but went 1-4 against the other (weaker) side, which does not load well for their cross division matchup versus Fobsters. Oh yeah, last year this was our Super Bowl XIIII matchup, can you believe that?

Jimmy’s team crapped the bed with one win in their last eight tries, and basically rode Tom Brady the whole season while the rest of the roster fluctuated due to a startling amount of injuries. At least some nice finds happened, with Chris Ivory, Travis Benjamin, TJ Yeldon, and TE sensation Gary Barnidge contributing around Brady. Can they pull off a Toilet Bowl upset or two like their “magical” run to the Super Bowl last year? We’ll see!

Final Standings 2015

Full Standings Breakdown

Mid-Season: Inscrutable Drama Kings

Is it mid-season already? Six weeks in and we’re almost done? What gives! Well, the good news is that there are still a lot of post-season berths to be handed out, and the bad news is, well, I won’t be getting one of them. Let’s take a short look at each team. [SMG Mid-Season]

Chunky Monkeys (6-0)
When you’re scoring tops in the league at 128 points per week, plus facing off against the easiest schedule (89.8 pts), it’s not hard to be undefeated. Nobody’s come close to touching Evan so far and it doesn’t look like anyone will impede his way to another playoffs. The question at this point is if he can go undefeated. 5-1 Gang Green will get a shot in WK8, so mark that huge game on your calendar. Philip Rivers and Julio Jones have been incredible, while Randall Cobb and Calvin Johnson have been a bit erratic.

The big question at the moment though, is who will replace the injured Jamaal Charles in the backfield?! Last week Coach Evan was forced to start Danny Woodhead, and that’s likely not sustainable. Rumors swirl that GM Evan is looking to make a big deal to stay on top. Stay by your Batphones gentlemen, Monkeys could be calling!

LA Buffy (3-2-1)
Despite facing the second toughest schedule in the league, Buffy has more than held its own this season, including a crazy 141.3 - 141.3 tie in WK3 against defending champ Tiiite End Jammers. The schedule is very soft for the next three weeks, until a matchup against the Monkeys. Carson Palmer has transformed into a top five quarterback, while Matt Forte continues to quietly dominate, putting up 16.4 ppg, good for #2 RB in the land. Julian Edelman, AJ Green, and James Jones are a superb receiving trio and don’t look now but Arian Foster is back! We can see Buffy kicking it up another notch behind his excellent passing game and Foster.  But is Roger's team ready to challenge Monkeys for a Super Bowl appearance? We'll find out...

Athena Nike (3-3)
We thought this would be a total rebuilding year for Athena but as it turns out, Frank’s team is already back to playoff contention. The pre-draft trades for Rob Gronkowski and DeAndre Hopkins couldn’t have worked out better — they are the #7 and #1 ranked receivers respectively. Plus Jarvis Landry and rookie Amari Cooper are both trending up. This is the best young receiving corps in the league, and with Aaron Rodgers at the helm, the only thing missing for this squad is a running attack.

Carlos Hyde looks great on occasion but he’s stuck on a bad offensive team. The Johnson brothers, Duke and David, just aren’t ready to contribute yet, but maybe one of them will come on soon. After a couple of erratic weeks and three straight losses, Nike seems to have righted the ship and will likely head to the playoffs.

Tiiite End Jammers (1-4-1)
Part of the reason the playoff situations looks pretty set in this conference is that the defending champs are a mess. After dominating from wire to wire last season, Jammers have collapsed. They’ve still got an amazing team on paper — DeMarco Murray, Antonio Brown, LeVeon Bell, Demaryius Thomas, Jeremy Maclin, Vincent Jackson, and a juvenated Giovani Bernard — but they’ve taken some big losses so far this season. Also, Andy Dalton has been averaging 30.6 ppg and is the #2 ranked QB but hasn’t seen the field because of Coach Lei’s insistence on sticking with Russell Wilson, who is averaging almost ten points less per game. There is still too much talent to count this team out but Jammers needs to put it together soon to make a proper playoff push.

Dirty Birds (1-5)
As for another pre-season championship contender, the Dirty Birds, they’re completely out of the post-season picture. They’re averaging a respectable 94.5 ppg (which would rank #3 in the other conference) but facing the league’s toughest schedule has reduced them to rubble in the standings — four opponents have gone 125+ points on them. Despite the presence of Odell Beckam Jr., an ageless Steve Smith (recently cut for some reason), and a surprising Tyler Eifert, Jon’s team can’t seem to get it together.

Oh right, and then there’s arguably the best backfield in the game, Adrian Peterson and #1 rookie Todd Gurley, who has yet to score an NFL touchdown but is showing that he’s going to be great. (Where art though LeSean McCoy? Oh right, getting outplayed by rookie Karlos Williams...) Maybe the problem is at the top with Andrew Luck, who hasn’t been as bad at fantasy as he is in real life, but Coach Jon has recently promoted Eli Manning to the starting position. Eli Manning!?! This team is looking forward to another Toilet Bowl win… Come to me Ezekiel Elliott!

Mid-Season: Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses

An owner texted me this past week to ask why SMG was so weak. I answered back: "tradition." SMG have always had "inferior" teams to IDK, and this season is no different. You would think in about a dozen years a power balance swap would happen. But nope! This year, SMG teams are averaging 92.8 ppg versus IDK's 109.8 ppg. Oh, and the PA for the conferences are 97.1 and 105.5 respectively. So who will be the Leastern Conference's representative in Super Bowl XV? [IDK Mid-Season]

Gang Green (5-1)
Greg’s doing it again! Despite an almost comically star-less roster, Gang Green is headed toward a division title. Their only loss was a 48.3 point blip in WK5, but otherwise this team has been averaging 107.1 ppg. Larry Fitzgerald and Brandon Marshall are responsible for 36.9 of those points per week, and Mark Ingram is the #7 RB, ahead of a slew of big names. Oldies but goodies!

Keeper quarterback Peyton Manning has been cut, in favor of Matt Ryan. (Also, don’t look now but Blake Bortles is the #6 ranked QB in the game, and is averaging an incredible 26.7 pts, meaning he should probably start soon.) Sure there’s a pretty big hole at RB#2 — Lamar Miller and Alfred Morris aren’t cutting it — but it’s not like the Greenies have powerhouses chasing after them in the standings. We see Gang Green easily cruising to the playoffs as they magically show us that it’s effort on the field, not the sexy names on your roster, that give you wins.

Fobsters (3-3)
Jimmy’s team made the Super Bowl with a losing record so this 0.500 record must seem like a set back. More losses Jimmy, you need more losses! Actually, those losses could be coming soon, as both top ranked receivers are out for most of the season — Jordy Nelson of the year and Dez Bryant for who knows how long. Travis Benjamin has stepped up nicely but it’s coleslaw after that, with Stevie Johnson, Terrance Williams, Tavon Austin, Jason Witten and others alternating starts. (Also, WTF is a recent waiver wire pickup Gary Barnidge and will he continue his madness?!)

It’s high time for Eddie Lacy to get out of his early season slump, and meanwhile Chris Ivory is alternating big games and lame efforts, albeit enough to get him to #3 RB on the charts. Mostly Fobsters can hang their treading water success on Tom Brady, the best fantasy player in the land, averaging 34.3 points per outing. Tom Terrific could pilot this team to the playoffs, and then Bryant could return and who knows what kind of magic Jimmy could pull together then… Just like last year!

Philadelphia Phreaks (3-3)
The Phreaks are 1-3 at home but 2-0 away, and are 0.500 despite a slightly lower PF than PA. Those three wins have all come when Phreaks eclipsed the century mark, but the other losses have fallen short. The story of the season though, is Devonta Freeman, who has come out of nowhere to lead the all non-QBs in scoring, and is putting up an incredible 9.6+ more points than the second ranked running back.

And while Marshawn Lynch has sputtered in the starting lineup all year, Doug Martin is quietly ripping off 22.8 and 35.3 back-to-back weeks.  Phreaks have started six running backs this year, in an effort to find the right two, and they need to find an answer because Sam Bradford has been pretty awful despite having a rejuvenated Keenan Allen on-board. Ping is hoping Brandin Cooks or Jordan Matthews starts doing something but in the event that nothing clicks, Devonta Have It All will be counted on to drag this team to the playoffs.

Fat Jubas (2-4)
Despite being crushed by 103.8 ppg, Jubas has maintained a semblance of respectability. Aka meaning they are still in the playoff hunt because it’s early in the season. Their next three games are against opponents with a combined 11-5-1 record so it could mark the end of their post-season dreams if they can’t pick up a win. First off, the quarterback situation has been a mess as Ben Roethlisberger is injured, Peyton Manning was nabbed just as he was declining, and now all hopes rest on rookie Tyrod Taylor.

The running game has disappeared too, as CJ Anderson is now almost waiver wire fodder, Jeremy Hill has ceded way to a true time share with Giovani Bernard, and 2015 #2 overall pick Melvin Gordon is fumbling his season away. But hey! Alton Jeffery and Antonio Gates both returned with big games last week and maybe they can team up with Allen Robinson (leading Jubas in points) and Emmanuel Sanders to run-and-shoot their way to a post-season berth?

Battle Angel (2-4)
Welcome to the lowest scoring team in the league. Vu’s squad has put up 83.7 ppg and that’s just not gonna cut it. It’s actually impressive they’ve put up two wins, but both of those were against one-win teams, and the four straight losses from WK2-WK5 are probably more indicative of where Angel is at right now. Drew Brees is still plugging away fantasy-wise but his 18.9 average is only good for #23 ranked QB. Ouch.

There aren’t a lot of other positives here either. Um, TY Hilton has been okay as the #29 ranked WR? Golden Tate proved he’s a one year wonder, Joseph Randle has one good game, rookie Ameer Abdullah isn’t ready yet, and Andre Johnson collapsed fast didn’t he? The only bright spot moving forward is Martavis Bryant, who returned to action with 137 yards and two touchdowns. Can Vu move his team toward a post-season appearance, or will a lack of production and a tough schedule sink them into the Toilet Bowl?