Toilet Bowl Seedings

#1 Chunky Monkeys (7-6)
The defending champions were flying high from WK8-12, winning four games out of five, vaulting over the century mark each time, and setting themselves up for a playoff spot. Then disaster struck in WK13 as they got creamed by Fat Jubas, losing by 53 points. And so the streak ends; ten straight years in the playoffs is over. Most seasons, a winning record would have preserved Evan's precious record, but they were ultimately undone by the lose of Jamaal Charles early, the inconsistency of Philip Rivers all around, and emphatic answer to "Is Ryan Mathews the next LDT?"

The good news is, Evan's trade for Calvin Johnson was a fantastic move, he used Matthew Stafford to step in for Rivers, and he unearthed DeMarco Murray, Julio Jones, and Antonio Brown. If they can secure a top pick here, the Monkeys will easily be right back in contention. So enjoy their downfall CTDB, it may not last for long! "Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead!"

#2 Gang Green (5-8)
Another two time champ disgraced. The Greenies lost their last four games to go from penthouse to cellar in record time. They even faced the softest schedule in the division. The wheels came off for Greg this year, as his normally golden touch on the waiver wire was nowhere to be found. In fact, there wasn't one guy he picked up that contributed much of anything. And with the three headed "monster" of Peyton Hillis, Shonn Greene, and Ahmad Bradshaw not giving him much of anything, Greg's season went down the tubes. Eli Manning was also forced into action after Matt Schaub left the building.

The upside is that there are some serviceable receivers here, with Hakeem Nicks, Stevie Johnson, and Brandon Lloyd getting steady double digit points. However, without much of a run game, and no magic elixir from the free agent pool, Greg slid to another losing season, just like last year.

#3 Tiiite End Jammers (5-8)
Lei's team hasn't won in the playoffs since their championship in 2003, and they haven't made the post-season since 2008. This year, they were eliminated from contention early, even as the rest of the league fell into extreme parity. Their five total wins is a bit of a mirage, as they won two games at the end to even up the pace a little. And the Jammers can't blame scheduling either, as they faced the easiest schedule in the league.

What's weird is that there are some good pieces here. The trade for Maurice Jones-Drew turned out wonderfully, and Percy Harvin could be a star. Sure Rashard Mendenhall has had a tough season, but at least Tony Romo has been slinging it. Looking over the roster, there does seem to be a big drop off in talent after the top two or three players. Marques Colston is a borderline starter, Sidney Rice has nothing going on, and while WR Eric Decker and RB Willis McGahee have helped the real life Broncos, they've done next to nothing for the Jammers. As our first two time participant in the Toilet Bowl, the Lei will look to do better than their one point loss in last year's first round. Analysts suggest perhaps a name change, to wash the stink off the franchise's recent exploits.

#4 Philadelphia Phreaks (4-9)
Speaking of name changes, Ping's team could use a re-branding too. After finally making the playoffs last season, after who knows how long, the Phreaks regressed right back to their losing ways. They dropped their last five games, didn't break the century mark after WK5, and often struggled to put up even 80+ points as the lowest scoring team in the league.

As usual, GM Ping went all in with the Eagles and this time it was to disastrous results. Michael Vick was still fantasy good -- until he went down in WK10 -- but Jeremy Maclin and DeSean Jackson both suffered through injuries, suspensions, and just terrible play. Jahvid Best also caught the injury bug and last year's sensation, RB LeGarrette Blount had only four games over double digits. The good news is Marshawn Lynch has put up amazing numbers the past five weeks (20.8, 25.2, 15.9, 19.6, 26.8); the bad news is he's only gotten off the Phreaks bench for the last two. A few victories in the Toilet Bowl would be nice here, as this franchise hasn't gotten a post-regular season win since 2006.

Celebrating the Division Winners

This year, our division winners didn't really emerge until the last weekend. In fact, this entire season was full of ups and downs as eight out of ten teams were in contention heading into the last two weeks. I mean, take a look at the standings prior to our last week of the regular season. At the of the day, it was Buffy who conquered Inscrutable Drama Kings and Fat Jubas who stands alone as the leader of the Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses.

Buffy (9-4)
Starting off 0-3, Roger's team was headed toward a horrible season. Aside from Wes Welker, there was nobody else ready to play after the lockout. Then, Buffy turned it all around and won seven straight, surpassing the century mark each time, and only lost one more game the rest of the way. Yes, a gaudy 9-1 mark to close the regular season out and secure a division championship!

Wes Welker was the unquestioned MVP of this team. He was the best receiver in the game this year, and he slowed down but never faltered. Also, free agent Victor Cruz was somehow the fourth best WR this season, and Roger got a few good games out of that pickup. Then there's A.J. Green, who would be fantasy rookie of the year if not for Cam Newton. Green is going to end up at number ten on the overall WR list. Plus there's Pierre Garcon, intriguing deep threat Torrey Smith, and the still injury ridden Antonio Gates around (still a top TE when healthy). A greying receiving crew with Hines Ward and Ochocinco have been completely replaced by promising talent all around.

Despite starting the year off slow with an injury, RB Arian Foster steamed up the charts after WK3, coinciding with Buffy's winning streak. Foster will end up being the third best RB this season, one slot ahead of Matt Forte, who exploded early but tailed off a little by mid-season. Forte could be gone for most of the playoffs, which could hurt Buffy's running game. Old stalwart Steven Jackson will likely be relegated to the scrap heap after this season, but perhaps he has one shining post-season run left in him.

As for that tricky QB spot, Buffy made do with Matt Ryan most of the year, occasionally turning to Matt Cassell and Jay Cutler when needed. Ryan has actually been a top eight option this year, which bodes well for Roger's title hopes. Andy Dalton is on-board to provide some injury relief. Also, Buffy split time between the Ravens and Steelers Defense, with both ranked in the top five all year long. With two championships under their belt (2001 and 2004), Buffy is in prime position to be the first to get their third trophy.

Fat Jubas (7-6)
Facing the toughest schedule in their division, Eric's team needed to also score the most points to secure a hard fought division title. That's two in a row for the Jubas. Last year's division title was a nice rebound from a poor year in 2009, but after being upset by the Fobsters in the divisional finals, this team wanted another chance to chase the championship.

Eric's team didn't really have a dominant run this season, as they started 2-2, never won more than two games in a row, and more or less alternated wins and losses to become the only team over .500 in their division. Their two best players this season were QB Cam Newton and Jimmy Graham, waiver wire pickups who didn't even arrive on the team until WK2 and WK3 respectively. Graham was the second best TE and would be the fourth best WR/TE in combined charts, so it's obvious he is tremendous.

Killer Cam was the fourth best QB this year, and he saved his best game for the division winning kill by dropping 42.8 points in WK13. There's a good chance that Cam will be the face of this franchise, and not Peyton Manning, who could be unceremoniously dumped after this season. Actually, there's 100% chance Cam is the new face of the franchise and Manning is headed to the re-draft. Did you think anyone would say that six months ago?!

You could say that the entire rest of the Jubas's roster was a disappointment this season. Yes, Vincent Jackson was a top eight receiver, but there were an awful lot of low single digit games on his resume this year. Anquan Boldin had a nice mid-season stretch but barely averaged ten points per game. He played a lot as the third WR for Jubas, but probably because there wasn't much better behind him. Tony Gonzalez was about the same as Boldin, Dallas Clark was a disaster sans Peyton, and Burress caught TDs but was hardly used.

And how about those running backs? Chris Johnson was so bad that there was talk of cutting him. He's picked up his game just in time for the playoffs, but Johnson's post-holdout campaign has to be disappointing. As for Frank Gore, who led a resurgent 49ers team, he's been shackled by injury ever since WK10, and he could sit in favor of the surprising Reggie Bush, who has been a nice surprise this season. Johnson and Gore were supposed to be top five backs, not top fifteenth. In sum, the Jubas perserved through what could have been a tough season, with franchise guys Manning and Johnson practically useless. Instead they hawked the waiver wire, emerged with some new cornerstones, and will be looking to advance to another Super Bowl.

Final Standings 2011

The Savior is Here!

After a 76.4 - 122.7 loss to division leader Ante Up this past week, the Dirty Birds are in desperate straits. Despite a roster featuring the likes of Adrian Peterson, Roddy White, Larry Fitzgerald, Miles Austin, Dwayne Bowe, and Rob Gronkowski, the Birds are have only two wins and three straight losses.

Keeper RB Knowshon Moreno has proven to be a huge bust (again) and while Darren Sproles and Mike Tolbert have their uses, this team needs an injection of leadership and ground game. Welcome to the Tim Tebow era! Needing to find an answer after suffering through Ben Roethlisberger and the recently released Josh Freeman, GM Jon scooped up the Tebow last week and quickly got him up to speed on the play book. Management is hoping that Tebow is the second coming of Michael Vick / Cam Newton and fan interest is already up 210%.

A team executive spoke off the record. "After missing the playoffs last year with this stellar roster, we can't afford to miss it again this season. My mom would kick my ass if I had all these great players and didn't get into the post-season."

One reason floated for the Dirty Birds' early season struggles is a tough schedule. So far, the Birds have faced the hardest schedule in the league by a landslide and faced opponents scoring 120+ points in four of the first six weeks. Here's hoping that the WK7 matchup against Chunky Monkeys will start the turnaround, as the Jon smoked Evan 156 - 127.80 in WK2 before going 1-3 right afterwards.

Te-bow! Te-bow! Te-bow!

Early Season Power Rankings

Parity has set in right? Have we ever been four weeks into a season and NOT had a winless team? Well this year we not only have no winless teams, and the entire Spunky Misunderstood Geniuses division is at 0.500 or better. The only two teams with a losing record in the league are Buffy and Tiiite End Jammers, and they are only one game out of first place in this young season. Let's take a quick look at how everyone's teams are faring in our first four weeks.

Fobsters (3-1)
Can one man lead a team to the top? Well, when that man is Tom Brady, currently averaging 36.7 ppg, that answer is "yes." While losing Calvin Johnson must hurt, RB Michael Turner has been providing the grinding work he was acquired for. With WR Steve Smith having a comeback year -- paired with Cam Newton -- the Fobsters have the parts to stay at the top along with TE Jason Witten, RB Beanie Wells, and WRs Dez Bryant and Jordy Nelson. Of course it's been nice to play the second easiest schedule in the league, but the Fobsters have been over 100+ three times already and lost only to a 135 point Battle Angels' explosion in WK3.

Ante Up (2-2)
Our highest scoring team in the league, it's incredible what Aaron Rodgers has been doing so far. He's averaging 37.9 points per outing and sits atop the fantasy world, especially after his recent 58 point outing in WK4. Jae's team also features two 20+ ppg running backs in LeSean McCoy and Ray Rice. The concern for this team is in the WR department, where rising star Kenny Britt was tragically derailed for the season, and old veteran Reggie Wayne misses Peyton Manning something awful. So far Santonio Holmes, Lance Moore, and Mario Manningham have not been the answer. If Ante Up can find some receivers, this team could ascend another level.

Gang Green (3-1)
As always, Greg's team is faring well. WR Steve Johnson has continued his ascent, becoming a top ten receiver. Hakeem Nicks isn't far behind either, as he averages 14.7 ppg, good for eleventh best WR on the charts. With RB Peyton Hillis proving that he's not a one year wonder and Ahmad Bradshaw emerging as a reliable running mate (pushing underwhelming Shonn Greene out of the picture), the backfield is solid if unspectacular. Overall the Greenies have been very consistent, putting up 100+ in each of their first four games. Despite not being explosive, they have acquired a lofty perch by taking care of business and beating teams when they stumble.

Fat Jubas (2-2)
Things were not looking good in Jubaville as franchise QB Peyton Manning was on the sidelines to begin the season. Then GM Eric took Cam Newton off the waiver wire in WK2 and everything changed. Oh and how about Darren McFadden, who finally has solidified his status as a fantasy all-star. McFadden is the third best non-QB in the game right now, and he continues to look great each week. With Chris Johnson barely rounding into shape after his lockout, Frank Gore has been working to get his way into the lineup. Eric has juggled a lot of players this season and if all three RBs start playing to their expectations, he may need to move one of them. On the receiver side, it's TE Jimmy Graham taking the fantasy world by storm as he averages 16.7 ppg while never having touched single digits. He pairs nicely with deep threat Vincent Jackson on the outside. With Killer Cam now the automatic starter, we see the Jubas climbing the standings very soon.

Battle Angel (2-2)
Somehow Vu's team has put up the second most points in the league this season. Yes, QB Drew Brees is up at 32.0 ppg, and sure WR Greg Jennings has been amazing. But with Cedric Benson and DeAngelo Williams both sucking it up in the backfield, how is this team winning? May we offer Fred Jackson! Our draft analysis said, "While we like Fred Jackson, he'll hardly be the new face of the franchise." Well 20+ ppg later, he just might be! The Angels could be in for some dark times though, as Andre Johnson is out for his customary mid-season injury break, and there is nobody helping Fred out in the backfield. Maybe if rookie Daniel Thomas can crank it up some, Vu's team can keep fighting for a playoff spot.

Chunky Monkeys (2-2)
The Monkeys had a chance to go 3-1 this pass weekend but lost on MNF to LeGarrette Blount's late night heroics. With Jamaal Charles out for the year, the Monkeys have a big hole to fill in the backfield. The good news is that sophomore RB Ryan Mathews has finally become dependable option, and is #8 among non-QBs so far. Even better, recently acquired WR Calvin Johnson has set the record books on fire with his eight touchdowns in four games streak. He has been absolutely carrying the receiving corps, as Brandon Marshall, Santana Moss, and Jermichael Finley have been erratic at best. Rookie WR Julio Jones may be coming on though, which would be a desperately needed complement to Johnson. While down on his luck this season, Evan's team is still looking pretty good, even as it's come down to earth some.

Philadelphia Phreaks (2-2)
The Phreaks could have one more win, but they lost by 0.40 in WK1 to Battle Angel upon debut of our decimal scoring system. Ping is the only owner to not have made one lineup move so far, and considering the wide gap in quality between his starters and his bench, he may not need to until byes hit. While newly acquired Michael Vick hasn't been able to lead the Eagles to victory, his 24.5 ppg has still been just as advertised. For a team that hasn't really hit their stride yet, the Phreaks are very well balanced with upside at every position. WR Mike Wallace is a true number one, and the combination of DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin means at least one of them will produce each week. Jahvid Best has surprisingly outperformed LeGarrette Blount but that's hardly a bad thing. We see the Phreaks taking a big step forward in upcoming weeks as Vick and Co. start to go into hyperdrive.

Dirty Birds (2-2)
When there's no clear leadership, sometimes a talented ship can go astray. GM Jon has continued to select the wrong QB to lead his team, alternating between Josh Freeman and Ben Roethlisberger on wrong weeks. That will have to stop. While Adrian Peterson has quietly been a top back, a big gaping hole at RB2 is there, despite having Mike Tolbert and Darren Sproles on the roster, both of whom deserve a starting nod. The vaunted passing attack has been good, but having Calvin Johnson still around sure would have been nice. Instead, TE sensation Rob Gronkowski is going to be the fourth receiver here. The Birds have proven to be explosive but also highly inconsistent. They'll have to find more consistent play from the QB position if they hope to soar this season.

Buffy (1-3)
Who's the best fantasy receiver in the land? How about Wes Welker! With ten catches a game, 616 yards, and 5 TDs already under his belt, Mr. Welker is having an all universe year. Not only is he the top receiver around, he's the best non-QB player so far this season. With Arian Foster struggling with injuries early on, Matt Forte has been outstanding, with 22.1 ppg and ranking in the top five overall. QB Jay Cutler was great for three weeks before last week's stumble, but he should remain the starter. What this team needs is receivers who can help out Welker. So far it's been rookie AJ Green who has been the top contributer, which is great news, but Buffy needs more. This team is on the rise though, as they've fought hard WK1-3 before notching an explosive victory versus Ante Up in WK4.

Tiiite End Jammers (1-3)
The only team so far in CTDB not averaging 100+ per week, in this season of wild scoring, the Jammers may find themselves slightly underpowered. The first Jammer to appear on the non-QB scoring rankings is waiver wire WR Eric Decker, who has only played two games for the franchise. New Jammer RB Maurice Jones-Drew has been okay, but averaging 13.8 ppg isn't going to carry this team to any victories. Tony Romo has been a top ten QB so far this season but his health continues to be a question and he'll likely split time with Ryan Fitzpatrick some more. What the Jammers need is for all of their receivers to step up, and to find out what is wrong with Rashard Mendenhall. Otherwise the Jammers are only going to be a top contender for the Toilet Bowl.